Chapter 2
Sidney glanced in the mirror and winced at his reflection. His eyes were red and slightly unfocused. He felt as though a drum was being beaten inside his head. Perhaps a late night at the tavern with Babington and Crowe hadn't been the best idea, especially with Mary, Tom, and their children arriving in London this afternoon for the wedding.
The wedding.
It was five days before his wedding to Mrs. Eliza Campion. Five days before he would become a married gentleman. His wedding day was a day he had dreamt of and thought would never arrive. When Mrs. Campion chose an older, wealthier man over him ten years before, he believed all his dreams had been torched and destroyed. Dreams of joy, of companionship, of his children's laughter. He couldn't possibly love another as he had loved her. So, he spent those ten years traveling the world, shutting everything—and everyone—out. It was easier to move through life that way, easier to be detached and therefore at less risk of heartache. And then he met Charlotte Heywood, a young, fresh-faced woman from a farm in a town he had only seen on a map. She did not subscribe to the mores he was accustomed to. She was not shy and reserved; she brimmed with vitality and light. She was not socially selective; she was insistent regarding the equality of everyone. She was not too prim nor too proper; she played cricket, for God's sake! What woman in this day and age did that? He had tried to ignore her on a multitude of occasions but failed miserably.
Before he realized it, Charlotte had unearthed emotions in him he thought were lost forever. She would simply look upon him with those eyes—colored like the shell of a coconut—and set him ablaze. Where there had been ash in his heart, there was now fire. He felt it raging every time he was in her presence. He longed to spend his every waking hour with her. He longed to touch her hands, her arms, her face. He longed to kiss her lips or anywhere else she would allow him. When Charlotte had departed Sanditon three weeks before for her home in Willingden, possibly never to return, he thought time and distance would extinguish that fire. But it still burned within him.
He would remember their arguments—brutal encounters where she would match him verbal strike for verbal strike—and embers would flare. She could be so infuriating at times, so uncompromising, so determined to make herself heard. And yet, she could be so be kind, so caring. He remembered her playing with his nieces and nephew as if she were a child herself. She became a trusted confidante to his ward, Georgiana. She was always seeking the good in people and seeking to be better herself. In her brief time in Sanditon, she had made him want to be a better man.
If it were not for a cruel set of circumstances—his brother Tom's repeated incompetence as Sanditon's architect—he would have done as his heart desired and proposed to Charlotte rather than Mrs. Campion. But Sidney knew all too well that one is not guaranteed to have what one's heart desires. Especially when there were matters of family, loyalty, and financial security at stake. He was marrying Mrs. Campion because it was the only way to save Sanditon. She had the eighty thousand pounds needed to repair the terrace, and more money should Tom get himself into trouble again. But Sidney was planning to make it clear to Tom that this would be the last time: there would be no more favors to be granted. Sidney himself was already out quite a bit of money financing Tom's venture, and now he would be without the woman he cherished. The well had run dry.
But that was a conversation for after the wedding. Sidney needed to secure Tom's future first. There would be time later to hold him accountable. In any case, Sidney was in no mood to discuss Sanditon or money. It was taking all the strength he had to keep up the pretense of happiness. Mrs. Campion would be joining them all for lunch and he had two hours to make himself presentable. It was going to be a tall order.
At a quarter to twelve the doorbell chimed. Sidney had bathed and dressed and his head felt slightly more clear than when he first awoke. The redness in his eyes had dissipated as well. His butler opened the door to Mary and Tom's radiant faces and the joyful exclamations of his nieces and nephew on the other side.
"Mary, Tom," Sidney said, opening his arms to embrace them.
"Hello, Sidney," Mary returned his embrace and herded the older children inside. Baby James was asleep in her arms.
"My dear brother, how are you?" Tom embraced Sidney as well and clapped him on the shoulder. "It's only a matter of time now, isn't it? Your bachelor days are coming to an end."
"Yes, indeed they are." Sidney smiled stiffly.
"You know, I think it is extraordinary that after all these years, you and Mrs. Campion found your way back to one another," Tom continued energetically. "For her to be at the ball in London the same night as you, how fortunate for the both of you!"
Mary smiled at her husband's enthusiasm, but the smile did not reach her eyes. She had recognized the coquetry between Sidney and Charlotte the morning of the Midsummer Ball and saw the way Sidney could not take his eyes off her during the ball. Mary even chastised herself later for interrupting Sidney when he was clearly heading towards Charlotte, as it was one of the last opportunities they had to spend time together. While Sidney had not said as much, she knew that his engagement to Mrs. Campion had nothing to do with love and everything to do with helping Tom.
"Tom," Mary called, hoping to quell her husband's commentary. She loved him dearly, but he was not one for astute observations.
"Mary, don't you think it's wonderful that Sidney and Mrs. Campion found each other again? Imagine the story they'll tell their children one day!"
"Tom," she interjected with more force. "I think we should get the children settled and freshen up for lunch."
"Yes, yes, of course." Tom placed his hands on his younger brother's shoulders. "I am truly proud of you, brother. There were many times over the years when I worried if you would settle down. Even when you came to Sanditon at the beginning of summer, you seemed most interested in carousing with the likes of Babington and Crowe. Now look at you. I think Mrs. Campion has had a splendid effect on you. You couldn't have chosen a finer woman."
"Thank you, Tom." This time, Sidney's smile conveyed a bit more warmth. He did want to make his brother proud. He simply wished it were under different circumstances.
Mary touched his arm in silent understanding and then followed her husband up the stairs.
Mrs. Campion imbued the luncheon with her usual air of affluent propriety. She talked in carefully enunciated words of the final preparations for the wedding, a lavish affair that she knew would be the talk of London for months to come. She was having sturgeon caviar imported from Italy for the breakfast reception. She then told Mary and Tom of her travels abroad, including Paris, where she and Sidney would visit after the wedding. Tom hung on every word, so eager to learn how the obscenely wealthy live. Mary endured the conversation politely but with much less fervor. She wanted to like Mrs. Campion, and she supposed in time she would grow fond of her. But the fact that Mrs. Campion had not chosen to marry Sidney ten years before still lingered in her mind. Mary also struggled to see warmth between Mrs. Campion and Sidney. While they both had things in common—traveling extensively and understanding the idiosyncrasies of high society—Sidney did not seem at ease with her. His back was straighter than necessary and his speech shorter. Perhaps Mary was comparing his behavior now to his behavior with Charlotte, with whom he seemed lighter and happier. It was difficult not to think of all the interactions she had seen between Sidney and Charlotte and wonder what might have been. Perhaps she was being unfair to Mrs. Campion. After all, she and Charlotte were very different people. And affection between an engaged couple was certainly not a pre-requisite for marriage. In fact, it seldom was. She often felt blessed that she and Tom were in love before marrying.
"Go play, children," Mary said as the dishes were cleared from the table. I'll be upstairs in a moment." She stood from the table as Mrs. Campion watched the children scamper down the hall. Sidney and Tom went into the parlor for a drink and to smoke.
"It is unfortunate that Sidney's other brother and sister couldn't join us," Mrs. Campion said. "I was looking forward to welcoming the entire Parker family to London today."
"Yes, it is unfortunate. Arthur and Diana both suffer from various ailments from time to time and Diana wasn't feeling well enough for the ride. Arthur is wonderful at caring for her. She is on the mend and they will be here in time for the wedding. They wouldn't miss it."
Mrs. Campion paused and smiled with a slight hesitation. "I shall look to your guidance when Sidney and I have children. You do so well with them. Mr. Campion and I were unable to…" She smiled again, a small, nervous smile.
Mary looked at her reassuringly. "I will be of whatever help you need."
Mrs. Campion smiled broader this time. "Thank you. I do hope that we can be friends. As you know, I am without a family of my own and I am looking forward to becoming your sister-in-law. I hope we can have many more days such as this."
"I am sure we will, Mrs. Campion. Would you like to come upstairs and play with the children?"
"Yes, I would like that very much. And Mrs. Parker, do call me Eliza. I see no further need for such formality between us. We will officially be family soon."
Mary smiled. "Then by all means, call me Mary." She allowed Mrs. Campion to leave the dining room first. Indeed, they would be family soon. Mary decided this afternoon was as good a time as any to begin building a relationship—a friendship—with Eliza Campion. The past was the past, and the Parker family was remarkably supportive of each other. She saw no reason to change that now.