A/N Well, I updated The Water Trials (my main fic!), so yay, update for this drabble!
This takes place right after the finale battle, and the setting in mind is that Sokka, Aang, Suki, and Toph have landed the airship in the courtyard of the Fire Nation and are in the process of getting off, and Katara and Zuko greets them.
Why?
Knees giving out, hitting the metal ground with a dull thud that shook his entire body to the core. He gazed out onto the scene in front of him, the stinging pain of his wounds nothing compared to the lightning that was piercing through his heart.
Zuko and Katara were kissing.
Aang burrowed his face into his hands, biting back a moan as hot tears streaked from his eyes and carved a path down his cheeks. All he could think of was, Why?
Why him?
Was it that dreadful night, at the Ember Island Play? He knew he was an idiot then, of course he was, but maybe the damage he wrought between their relationship that night was far more irreparable than he thought it was. Maybe that was the one chance he had at having a shot with her, and he threw it all away because he was too stupid and too blinded by the ever-hovering fear that if he didn't tell her how he felt then, he would never get the chance to tell her ever again.
He was such a fool. He should've known that his stupidity would eventually cost him—if not on the battlefield, then with his relationships. That happened with the Air Nomads, didn't it? He let his fear blind him and ran away; now look where he was! The sole member of an entire nation that he might have been able to save! Everything he touched only turned to ash under his fingers before scattering to the winds, forgotten to the world.
No wonder she didn't want to have to do anything with him.
And yet, despite all his logical musings and rationalizing (she'd be better off with him anyways, I've been nothing but a jerk to her), Aang could feel that green-eyed monster within his chest rear its ugly head; he could feel its roar within his bones, rippling from the center of his chest outwards until all he could see was red, red, red. Aang felt an odd, paradoxical clash of burning rage and icy bitterness within himself as he gazed enviously at the couple.
It's not fair.
The thought was uncharacteristically bitter, but Aang couldn't help it. It isn't fair! He did everything for her! He made sure she continued smiling, even when he himself didn't want to; he exposed every single little thing about him to her; he fought the war for her; he even died for her, for Spirits' sake!
He could give her the entire world, and she wouldn't bat an eye. But one look from Zuko, and suddenly she was his.
What did Zuko have that he didn't? What did Katara see in the scarred prince that Aang himself didn't possess? Was it because Zuko was older? More mature? Maybe he had more worldly experience that Aang simply did not possess. Or maybe it was because Zuko supported her when she was trying to find her mom's killer. Was he kinder to her? More selfless for her? What?
Why?
Aang barely bit back a scream of agonized unknowing. It isn't fair!
Yeah, well, life's not fair, so get over it.
He brushed away his tears and made a silent vow to harden himself. Harden his heart against the pain of disappointment and grief. Suppress all the hurt he felt. Shield all his pain and bitterness behind walls of indifference and stoicism. Distance himself away from her and pretend his broken heart didn't exist.
"You have to promise me that you won't stop caring."
Aang chuckled bitterly at the irony. He had made that promise lifetimes ago, hadn't he? But that was just that: lifetimes ago, when he still had her even as he lost Appa. She was still there for him even when he lost his last connection to the Air Nomads, and that helped ease the pain in his chest, make his burden just a little bit lighter. It was easier, then, to keep his promise.
He had no hope, no solace, nothing. Only a broken heart and friends who wouldn't understand. Oh, they would try; he was sure of it. They would try, and they would fail, and he would be left all alone in the world with only a flying bison, a winged lemur, and the decrepit, crumbling temples of the old days.
Aang laughed bitterly again. The girl who told him not to stop caring was the very same girl who turned around, stomped all over his heart, and ran off with their once-enemy.
He kept that promise before, and she betrayed him.
Why should he keep it now?
A/N As for what brought on the kiss and where Sokka, Suki, and Toph are... your guess is as good as mine. *shrug*
I mean... I guess Aang is kinda OOC... but then a broken heart does tend to make one bitter... I dunno, share your thoughts!
(And also, I find it much, much easier to write bitter, cynical characters than the happy-go-lucky type, so...)
Please review!