Beatrice. A girl with drills for hair and a haughty attitude, surely she would be missed.
.
[Beatrice!] Emilia yelled 'Green room?'
.
[–—―–—]
.
No
.
[Beatrice!] Emilia yelled once again 'Balcony?'
.
[–—―–—]
.
No
.
[Beatrice!] Emilia yelled once more
.
[Emilia-sama?]
.
[EeeEh!?] Craning her neck, Emilia turned to face the voice calling her. With cold sweat
gliding across her forehead, she replied [Aaaaaah, Julius…-san?]
.
[san?] Julius questioned, raising an eyebrow
.
[Ahem- Hello Julius] Emilia coughed. [I-um was a…]
.
[Searching for Beatrice-sama?] Responded Julius
.
[Ah yeah.. Aha..] Looking beyond Julius, Emilia spotted the rest of the expedition team
through the large, arched doorway. They were all staring at her with growing suspicion, to
which her face reddened in response.
.
Julius: [Have, you not seen her?] He spluttered, trying hard to ignore Emilia's rather off-
attitude.
.
Emilia: [Errrrrrr Mm no, but dooooon't worry! I'll definitely find her!] She shouted over her
shoulder as she walked off, her face growing hot
.
Julius: [Have you seen Subaru, Emilia-sama?]
.
Emilia: [Ahhhhhh] 'Subaru.. what should I do?' Her body creaked robotically as she turned
once more to face Julius
.
Julius: [Emilia-sama...]
.
Emilia: [Ahhh Subaru, errrrr no his name doesn't ring a bell, I mean. When you ask that...
Yes I haven't seen him!]
.
Julius: [...]
.
Emilia's ears lowered under all this pressure as she was begging her brain to come up with
a convincing story 'pleeeease brain'
.
Emilia: [ Ah WellyouknowIwaslookingaroundbutIcouldn'tfindhim anywherehes
probablyhavingsomethingeat atthe diningroomorsomething.
.
Julius: [We're at the dining room…...]
.
Emilia slowly backed away as tears of embarrassment began budding in her eyes. Her ears
now dyed a deep pink, she looked towards the floor pleading with them in her mind to
drop the subject.
.
One-by-one Echidna, Ram and Shaula strutted up next to Julius as they too were curious.
.
Echidna: [Now that you mention it, your knight Natsuki-kun has been very absent~]
.
-hk. Emilia jolted. Strike one.
.
[Emilia-sama, remember what you promised me] Narrowing her eyes, Ram warned.
.
-ow. A pang of guilt. Strike two.
.
Julius: [Please Emilia-sama, tell us.]
.
-ugh. A cold bucket of water. Strike three.
.
Emilia's legs buckled as she fell to her knees, clutching her head in her hands.
.
[I-... I don't know what I saw… It. It was in the Library, Beatrice... Her book and...] she
choked up most of her words.
.
Emilia: [But I–]
.
Echidna: [Her book!?]
.
Julius: [What!]
.
Without even heeding Emilia who was lost for words they all turned to sprint towards the
Library's staircase.
.
Emilia: [ah… no! WAIT!]
.
Echidna: [Huh?]
.
Julius: [What is it, Emilia-sama?]
.
Ram: [...]
.
Emilia: [Please! Just hear him out…. Subaru he...] She pleaded,
fighting hard to push away that lump in her throat.
.
Tch Clicking her tongue Ram simply motioned for her to come walk up the stairs.
.
Emilia dropped her gaze and lost all power in her voice. Whilst biting down on her own lips,
she could only follow them up to the Library, dragging her feet along the way.
.
-Shaula was just watching calmly-
.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
.
Tip-tap Tip-Tap Tip-Tap.
.
Other than the noise of their cautious steps, the scene was often absent of any others.
They spoke a little bit, but those heading up to the library held a deep hesitation in the
face of what it was they were trying to unearth.
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—
Tip-tap Tip-tap Tip-
.
[Ahhhhgk!] Thud
.
Ram, Julius and Echidna could only sigh in response
.
Ram: [Emilia-sama, this is the 4th time now, stop stalling]
.
Uuuuuu. Emilia, while sulking, slowly got up from where she fell. She could only squeeze her eyes
shut as her entourage vigorously swung open the door. 'Please!'
.
'Don't hurt him. Hear him out. Let him explain himself, I'm sure there's a reason. My
knight, he deserves that respect at least.'
.
Julius readied his sword as he proceeded, tightly gripping its handle by his waist as he
entered the Library. Scuttling behind him was Echidna who was surveying the area.
.
Julius: [Hello! Is anyone there!] he hesitantly called.
.
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—No one responded.
.
Checking the corners and tracing the bookshelves with their eyes. The search party
continued. in silence once again.
.
–—
–—―–
–—―–—–—―–—
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—
[Emilia-sama.] said Ram, breaking this truce.
.
Emilia: [Yes?]
.
Ram: [Where did you find Barusu?]
.
Emilia: [Ah, well….] finally conceding, Emilia slowly raised her unsteady arm and pointed
to their left
.
Again in silence, they marched onward. Stepping over books and winding past book-
mountains.
.
'Barusu'. Ram's eyes quivered, looking down at her feet, she grasped the sides of her
green skirt and knit her taut brow.
.
–—―–
.
'Subaru'. Julius hesitated. 'You still haven't told me why-'.
.
[Over there!] Echidna yelled, interrupting his thoughts.
.
Looking up, Julius saw it too. Instantly breaking his stance and releasing the grip on his
sword, he rushed over to the boy that lay across the floor.
.
Julius: [Su! baru?] he questioned, tilting his head towards the others. They all looked just
as befuddled at the sight before them.
.
[Is that Subaru?] said Echidna, questioning even herself.
.
Emilia nodded in response to this while combing her long rounded nails through her soft
silver hair.
.
Clenching his jaw, Julius slowly turned Subaru over onto his side 'What the-', revealing a
black bound book beneath him… Grasping at the book, Julius stroked the rough book
cover, turning it to its side revealing the title engraved on its spine.
.
[Beatrice…] Julius said, reading it aloud before he even understood it.
–
–—―
–—―–—–—―–—Hah?
Stammers harmoniously escaped the parched throats of both Echidna and Ram.
.
They could both feel heated emotions rising in their chest, as well as the sticky fluid
clogging their throat. In tandem they both gulped it down before glancing down at Subaru
with the utmost caution and the most furious suspicion.
.
[Emilia-sama….] Julius pleaded. His expression was grim.
.
Emilia: [...I told you. –But at least listen to him. –—―–Subaru-]
.
[That is not Barusu.] Ram interjected, her words laced with an icy temperature. Working
hard to rein in her emotions, she continued:
.
[It is not him. He's a fake, he probably killed Meili too. It's not safe, Julius you must
dispatch him right-]
.
Kill him. Julius
.
[NO!] Emilia wailed, her head felt like it was about to burst. Wrinkles began to crease her
usually flawless face and translucent skin.
.
Haah…. Haah…. Catching her breath Emilia eased her dramatic expression.
.
Emilia: [Julius please…] she begged, looking hard at the cold marble floor whilst tightly
interlocking her own fingers.
.
Help him. Julius
.
'What do I…?' Julius was truly at his last straw with this whole situation. Kneeling down
over Subaru he examined him, trying to bury his conflicting feelings.
.
'What would Subaru do?' Probably not the most appropriate person to ask right now but it
is all he could think of. Julius was a knight, he acted on the will of others. He heeds orders,
He carries out tasks. Selflessly.
.
Selfishness was synonymous with Subaru he felt, but being selfish also meant he thought
for himself and didn't heed the advice of others. Isolating one's thoughts from all external
opinions and acting on one's own selfish thoughts is the wisdom he seeked. He wanted to
decide what he felt about Subaru. He wanted to decide what he would do in this situation.
Selfishly.
.
Ram: [Julius look at him! That is not Barusu! It's a ghost, an entity, a different person! It
has clearly taken over Barusu's mind. Since when did Barusu even have such conspicuous
hair!]
–—―–—–—
Julius: [Emilia-sama...why is his hair white?]
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—
[I-... I don't know Julius. It could have been the book?] Emilia queried. It was hard for her
to even swallow her own words.
.
Emilia began clenching her fists, exposing her white knuckles [But don't kill him!]
.
Ram: [Emilia are you going to let Barusu suffer under the control of some evil trick. We
knew this tower was dangerous, he did too! Something clearly happened to him ever since
we found him! He's got amnesia for god sake!]
.
'You're getting ahead of yourself, Ram' Julius thought.
.
Emilia: [Be quiet! Shut up! Listen to me!]
.
'You're getting too emotional, Emilia' Julius thought.
.
Ram: [No Emilia! You listen to me! He's gone! A murderer is lying on the floor! Are you
going to let him wake up! If he killed Beatrice who knows how powerful he is!]
.
Emilia: [Here him out!]
.
Ram: [No! I won't!]
.
Emilia: [Why not?]
.
[I'm not risking the life of my sister!] Yelled Ram. Walking over to the boy with heavy
steps she pulled out her wand, hiding the pained expression on her face from view with
her now arched arm. [Sorry, Barusu. –—―Al Fula!]
.
Julius: [Wait! Miss Ram!]
.
[Don't!] Emilia shouted. Holding out her arms her hands froze over, erecting a huge ice
prison shielding the boy from the shredding wind.
.
Julius: [BOTH OF YOU STOP!]
.
-Shaula was just watching calmly-
–—―–—
–—―–—–—―–—
–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—–—―–—
[While I agree with Ram-san, that was a bit rash.] Echidna concluded, breaking the
awkward silence that consisted of nothing but crying and dramatics.
.
Turning her gaze to the boy, her face drooped, 'What happened Natsuki-kun?'.
Did you read her book of the dead?
Is that what you were after? Meili-chan's too?
I just can't understand you sometimes. I know it's just who you are but you're far too
suspicious for your own good…. It's scary..
.
.
–—―
–—―–—–—
Julius narrowed his eyes.
.
'What would you do, Subaru...'
–—―
–—―–—–—
.
.
Julius: [Are you done, Ram.]
.
Julius uttered, visibly disappointed
.
Ram: [What is that supposed to mean…]
.
Ram cut back, staring daggers
.
Ram: [And where's the 'Miss' gone?]
.
Julius: [You're no Miss. Ram.]
.
Tch Ram kicked a bookshelf nearby, venting the stress of it all.
.
Emilia: [Th- Thank you, Julius.]
.
Julius: [That goes for you too Emilia-sama! I'm only compelled to call you that because of
your status!]
.
Emilia just stood there dumbfounded
.
Julius: [You, and you! The both of you! WHAT! ARE! YOU! THINKING!]
.
Ram: [Barusu, he's a fraud!]
.
Julius: [AND?]
.
Ram: [He could be a danger to my sister!]
.
Julius: [Sure he could! I could! I don't see Subaru attempting to kill her right now though!]
.
Ram: [And who decided that!?]
.
Julius: [I did! He is not a threat! Yet!]
.
Grabbing onto the migraine that oppressed his head, Julius continued.
.
Julius: [And yes Emilia I say 'yet'! He could have killed Beatrice, he could have killed Meili!
I'm willing to hear him out on the basis of finding that out! 99% chance he did but I would
never forgive myself if that 1% chance rang true! Never!]
.
Emilia: [That's! Thats what I was trying to say! I know he probably killed him Julius! You just
went with that misunderstanding! But I'm certain that he didn't WANT to kill her! He must of had a
REASON!]
.
'Haah Arguing with Emilia - This is truly something Subaru would do' Julius thought to
himself.
.
Julius: [Ahem. Pardon me then, Emilia-sama. It's just, from what I saw-]
.
Emilia: [It's fine Julius. I've had enough of these spats with Subaru to know how it happens..
–—―–—― I was just hesitant because I knew some people could be rash...]
.
.
–
–—―
Julius: [Well. Regardless, I still believe you'll cut him some slack. I want to be the one see
him when he wakes up. Don't worry Emilia-sama, I'll judge him fairly.]
Emilia: [I guess that's Okay]
.
–—―[Very well] Ram, acceded.
.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
.
[[Wake up~ Onii-San~]]
.
'Meili?' Subaru asked, labouring his eyelids. Crumbles of sleep had begun to flake away
from his eyes. Phew 'bloody hell it's cold' Subaru thought, but due to his dulled senses, it
got colder and colder the more he woke up. AH! Subaru violently shivered 'where am I the
Antarctic!?'
.
'Wait, what's the Antarctic? Huh. Oh yeah! It's the continent similar to Gusteko. What's
Gusteko? [[It's where o~nee-san came from~]]. Who's that? [[That Would be Elsa, I
suppose]]'
.
[Wake up Subaru]
.
[What is it? [[What is~ it~?]] [[What is it, in fact!?]]]
.
[Are you with us Subaru?]
.
[Yeh I guess [[Maybe~]] [[I am, I suppose]]]
.
Subaru's rigid fingers threatened to snap off in the biting cold.
.
Subaru: [Where am I?] he asked, prying his eyes open allowing his pupils to come into
focus.
.
[Subaru.] That voice called out to him again,
.
Subaru: [–—―–—–—―–—]
.
Julius: [You could at least try to conceal your disappointment.]
.
Subaru: [What~ do you want me to say [[I suppose]], that I'm happy you're the first
person I see when I wake up~ [[In fact]]?]
.
Julius: [...]
.
Subaru: [Ha. What is it Julius, what's the serious face for…?]
.
Julius: [Subaru…. did you murder Beatrice?]
.
[Huh…?] 'What!?' Subaru's eyes ripped wide open. The grogginess he felt instantaneously
seeping down his spine and out of his body as he had just become the most awake he ever
felt. His heart seized and twisted as he felt like he needed to breathe a gallon of air just to
fuel his brain, but he couldn't take a single breath.
.
'How does he know? Did he see me? He couldn't have found the body, she disappeared.
Can he detect spirits? Did he suspect me from the start? Did they all suspect me from the
start? Where am I? Did Emilia make this prison cell, did she not even trust me at all?
[[They~ didn't~]] What. [[No one ever~ did~]] WHAT-'
.
[Subaru] Julius said serenely. [Calm, down.]
.
Biting nails, chewing skin, darting eyes, ruffled hair, scratching and peeling. 'THEY KNOW!?
[[I suppose]]. 'Huh?' [[Commoners can't ever understand what's great about Betty's
Subaru]] 'clutching at strings, wanting to escape. 'Why Beatrice?' [[Because you're special
to me]] 'To you and no one else?' [[No Subaru]], 'WHY THEN?' killing. 'Why?' [[Because
you killed me…]] -hk [[No one could understand that. No one I've met in the past 400
years could understand that]] '...I know that.'
.
'I'm sorry Beatrice.' [[You don't need to be]] 'Still, I'm sorry, and I promise I'll bring you
back.' [[You don't need to do that Subaru…]] 'I've granted your dearest wish, but I wish to
bring you back Beatrice, I'm sorry.' [[–—―–—]]
.
I'm sorry [[I'm~ not~]] [[Betty's sorry]].
.
What do I do [[What should you do, in fact]] [[Come~ clean~]]
.
Tell them I murdered Beatrice? [[If you want to, I suppose]] [[You~'re a bad~ person~ ]]
.
But I'm scared [[I'm scared for you too, I suppose]] [[you~ deserve~ it~]]
.
What would they think? [[I~ daren't imagine it~]] [[They wouldn't understand, I
suppose]]
.
Why should I tell them if they'd hate me? [[They already know, in fact]]
[[You~killed~me~]]
.
I can't. I can, in fact. I~should. Why? It's the right thing to do, I suppose. I~ must~
repent~. I'm sorry, I regret it. It's fine, in fact. It's~not, I'm warped.
.
Picking up the pieces, the ones that don't quite fit, randomly rummaging, Subaru thought.
.
What-do-I-what-do-I-what-do-I-do? What-should-I-what-should-I-what-should-I-do? They
hate me, in fact. They do indeed hate me. They don't trust me, in fact. They don't~.
.
I'm scared.
.
I am.
.
I'm scared.
.
I am.
.
Cumulatively these thoughts stacked 3 times over, compounded and stacked parallel
thoughts on top of that, over and over. I-I-m-I-m-m-S-S-c-S-c-a-c-a-a-r-r-e-r-e-d-d-e-d.
One brain with three minds, there's simply too much to hold onto. So he must patch them
together.
.
Patching together these thoughts
.
Giving these thoughts a shape.
.
Thoughts shaped into fear, AMPLIFIED TWICE OVER...
.
[STAY AWAY FROM ME JULIUS!] Subaru screeched. 'I feel sick'. Clawing at his forehead
with his chewed fingernails Spuuuuuuurt. His nails nicked an exposed vein at his temple.
Blood spewed out at the air drawing an arc.
.
'-Aghk, Fuck' Subaru urgently cupped his hand crudely around the vein, to which the blood
responded by spray painting his hand and splattering onto his face- flecking it with his own
stupidity.
.
Why am I like this?
.
I hate myself.
.
Subaru lurched back into the corner of the icy cage, resting his head against the bars. He
hoped the cold would cool his thoughts.
.
[Subaru!] Julius called, attempting to reach out to him through the bars.
.
Emilia: [Julius what's wrong!- Ah! Subaru!]
.
Subaru could only lazily roll his bloodied eyeballs in their direction as the others rushed
through the doorway, his eyelids drooping as he no longer had the strength to look at
people honestly 'I can't.'.
.
It's over, they hate me.
.
It's over, they hate...
.
It's over, they….
.
It's over.
.
[Subaru!] Subaru covered his ears
.
[Natsuki!] He tucked in his tail
.
[Barusu listen!] and ran
.
-Shaula was just watching
.
Subaru: [SHAULA!]
.
calmly-
.
[Oh-ho what is it master?]
.
Subaru: [KILL THEM! PLEASE!]
.
[Oh~ Veeeery well.]
.
Simultaneously all the candles blew out, all the fires had been choked and all the crystals
affixed to the walls lost their luminance. In these near pitch black conditions, the only
source of light radiated from the Sage's now dimly glowing crimson eyes.
.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
.
Subaru: [I'm sorry, I promise to bring you back]
.