Author's Note: Honestly, the temptation to write a canon divergent fic from this point where Lexa survives is strong...
Her eyes fluttered open and it took her a moment to catch her bearings. Lexa's thoughts went quickly back to the night she'd had. There was no drunk girl holding her now. She had woken up a few times during the night and each time she had been enveloped in the arms of the woman she... loved. There was no doubt about it. It was love she felt for Clarke. It was weakness. The empty space next to her told her that it had been nothing but a drunken mistake from the woman who made her feel so safe. Lexa's heart sank. It was for the best. She knew this. After what had happened with Costia, there was no good to come out of a situation like that. Especially one with the Sky People who were still so disliked by her own people. But the Sky People were her people now. Clarke was her people.
She felt the tears that threatened to spring to her eyes and swallowed while she attempted to compose herself. After a couple moments, she sat up, her feet hitting the floor and was ready to start the day.
"Well, hello Gorgeous," said a voice behind her.
"Clarke," Lexa said as she stood up and turned to face the now very sober and cleaned up blonde. She struggled to keep her expression even as she looked at the woman sitting on a chair in her room. Had she just called her gorgeous? Lexa could not imagine how Clarke could say that because she did not feel gorgeous next to the beautiful woman sitting before her. Even before brushing out her hair and washing up, Clarke had still been beautiful. Even when her hair stuck to her in a sweaty mess and the stench of alcohol was all Lexa could smell, Lexa thought she was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. And now here she was, all cleaned up telling Lexa that she was gorgeous? Lexa self consciously tried to run her fingers through the knotted mess that had become of her hair as she slept last night. She did not even want to consider the mess that was probably all over her face from the war paint she had slept in.
"Lexa," Clarke said trying to mimic the stoic tone that came from the Commander though the sparkle in her eyes gave her away.
"About last night," Lexa said quickly. "I understand the effects that alcohol can have and we can just forget about it all and move on."
"Why would I want to do that?" Clarke asked, tilting her head slightly. "You made me a promise last night." The teasing, accusing tone that Clarke used made Lexa's heart thump widely in her chest. Lexa found herself worrying that Clarke could hear it despite the few feet between them.
"I will not hold anything against you, Clarke," Lexa said, desperately trying to keep her composure when the blonde stood up. "I know that you were not yourself last night."
"On the contrary," Clarke said softly, "Maybe I was being true to myself."
"What?" Lexa said, feeling annoyed at herself for not coming up with a more complete and focused sentence.
"I'm tired of just surviving." Clarke was getting closer now and Lexa felt her heart flutter more. Her hands trembled. Was this a dream?
"Maybe life should be about more than surviving," Lexa said softly remembering the words that Clarke had spoken to her once upon a time.
"I tried to deny my feelings for you. I tried to hate you. It's exhausting. It's so much easier to admit that I..." Clarke hesitated. The words were there, on the tip of her tongue and yet they stubbornly refused to be said.
Lexa could no longer keep her expression still and her bottom lip trembled. "I feel it, too."
"Then why are you trying to go back on your promise?" Clarke asked. She was so close to Lexa now that Lexa could feel her breath. It no longer smelled of alcohol. She felt her body tremble.
"My promise?"
"Yes," Clarke said resisting an urge to roll her eyes. "The promise that if I wanted to kiss you when I was sober that you would not stop me."
"I-" Lexa broke off. "You still want that?"
"I've wanted it for awhile," Clarke admitted. "I've thought about it a few times since the last time when I wasn't ready."
Even if she had been able to keep her expression from revealing her emotions, Lexa would have never been able to hold back the blush that she felt appear on her cheeks. "Right, well if that's what you want..."
"That's what I want," Clarke said, her tone firm.
"Then I'm going to kiss you now," Lexa said now wondering how after all she had faced, it seemed surreal now that she found herself stumbling and awkward. What would her people think of her if they could see her now?
"Then what are you waiting f-?" Clarke was cut off when Lexa's lips found hers. Clarke felt Lexa's hands in her hair and was surprised to feel a wetness. Was Lexa crying? Was she crying? She didn't even know the answer to that question but what she did know was that it felt right. The last time, Clarke had felt torn. Torn between her loyalty to Finn and the confusion of feelings that had arose when being around the Commander. This time, there wasn't a doubt in her mind that this was her person.
The kiss felt like forever and a split second all at the same time. They didn't speak for a moment as they looked at each other. To answer the earlier questions in her mind, they were both crying. Clarke reached out to stroke Lexa's cheek.
"Clarke, I -"
"I know," Clarke said. "I know." Clarke laid back on the bed, holding her arms out for Lexa. There was no hesitation this time as Lexa crawled into the bed. They held each other, not daring to think about what the future held in that moment.
Life was about more than surviving.