How long have I been sitting here? Yamada has probably left by now.
"Maybe I should have walked with her..."
...No, it's too easy too imagine the rumors people would spread. They'd take any excuse to put Yamada down. Especially with the way they think of me. It's unfortunate that the darkness inside of me is so transparent. The evil inside me manifests itself in my mannerisms and demeanor on the outside. That's why I have to stay quiet around others, so they don't come to recognize the demon residing inside of m-
...
"Oh someone left some trash on the ground." I say to myself. Must have been Yamada.
After I finish tidying the library I decide to start making my way to the bike rack.
I hate to admit it but, knowing that Yamada's not around and I won't happen across her like usual has made me less inclined to take any detours. Though, it's not as if I have anything pressing waiting for me at home. Just books I could just as easily read in the library and an annoying Nee-Chan.
Riding home, I think to myself. What did I do before I spent most of my time thinking about Yamada. I guess the Murder encyclopedias and guro novels come to mind though, I'm not hard pressed to do any quick research. That again falls under the category of library reading. I suppose I could go to the arcade but I'd undoubtedly run into some riajuu and I can already picture them talking about me for being there by myself. I continue thinking about this even after I get home.
I get home to find Nee-Chan cooking.
"I'm home."
"Ah! Kyou-Chan welcome home."
I see her coming towards me and I know what will come next. I accept it with begrudging acceptance.
"Squeeeeze! Ah, nothing better to end the day with than a nice long hug from my loving Kyou-Chan." She says with her arms wrapped around my head. It's a little tight.
A few moments later she releases me from the would-be stranglehold. She looks at me then stops and looks at the clock.
"Y'know, you're home a bit earlier than usual."
Uh-oh.
"Is something the matter Kyou?"
I don't really want my sister to know that Yamada leaving has affected me as much as it clearly has. Especially considering she's been gone for less then a day.
"I-I just felt a little tired today..." my voice cracked a bit. I've never been good at keeping things from Nee-Chan.
"Hmm." She hums while making a pose you would expect from Sherlock Holmes or a detective of similar ilk. "Well, if you say so."
She then walks away and I'm a little relieved but also confused. She isn't exactly known for letting things go but, you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.
I walk upstairs and change out of my uniform. My arm has healed since the incident during the winter break but, it's still a bit weaker than my other one. Not that my other arm is exactly strong to begin with but the difference is notable.
After I get changed I lay in bed for a minute.
It's too easy to go to sleep, I don't feel like reading anymore thus why I left the library, and I really don't want to dwell on Yamada's absence anymore today.
I stand up and my body almost feels like it's on auto pilot. I pull the wrinkles out of my bed, tidy up my room a bit, not like it needs it, and make sure the books on my shelf are in order. This doesn't consume much time at all. If someone were to observe this they may be inclined to make the assumption I surfed from OCD or a similar affliction.
I wander downstairs again, hoping to come across something to occupy my attention.
"Do you want some help cooking?" I find myself asking my sister.
She gives me a quizzical look for a moment before nodding and giving me some things to do.
We cook in silence for a little bit before she finally speaks.
"You know you can talk to me about anything."
I don't say anything for a moment, I'm not really sure what to say.
"I care about you a lot Kyou. If someone's bullying you or if school has become too much to handle you can always talk to me. I know I can be a bit clingy at times but, it's just because I care. Y'know."
I don't realize it at first but my eyes are watering a bit. I made my sister worry for basically nothing, just because I wanted to be secretive.
"Yamada left... she's going to be gone awhile." I can't bring myself to look at her just yet so I keep talking. "I didn't really know how to take it and I've been feeling weird today. I don't know I guess I feel like I'm going to be lonely. I'm sorry I made you worry Onee-Chan."
Silence abounds.
Eventually I look up and see my sister smiling at me. "It's okay Kyou, I know things get to you more than you typically let on. I'm just happy you were honest with me." She opens her arms and looks at me expectantly.
I slowly initiate the hug this time, when she suddenly says. "Though we are going to talk later about how you like this girl so much that you don't know what to do with yourself when she's gone." She giggles a bit and I can feel my face burning from embarrassment.
Damn it.