...
"Well, fu-" Bakugo started, "Language." said the teachers plus Iida, before he could even finish.
"That was..." Sato started, unable to fathom the right words
"Awesome?" said Ochako,
"Beautiful?" contributed Tsuyu,
"Brilliant?" Todoroki added
"Manly?"... You know who that was
"Midoriya," Sith started with a smile and small chuckle "Will always go 'Plus Ultra' no matter where he is, or what he's doing."
"Yeah!" Eri and Mirio cheered.
Sith smiled brighter at that and continued "Now, I just want to show you guys somthing... softer, less intense."
"What is it?" Momo asked
"I'm going to show you an alternate world where Izuku is a comedian, and telling the best joke I've ever heard." Sith finished with a dopey smile
Comedian? that sounds...
"Interesting," Tokoyami said while dark shadow gave a thumbs up
"Sweet!" Kaminari added to the approval of his friends
"But first," Sith said as he snapped his fingers, to which Eri instantly fell asleep. Before anyone could ask, "I needed to put her asleep because it's inappropriate, and don't worry, she won't wake up until I snap again."
Everyone was ready and waiting.
The screen brightened to show a much older Izuku, around 25 if they had to guess, (I changed his age, sue me.) wearing Black jeans and a matching leather vest, after that he looked normal aside from him standing on a dark wood stage with a background that was dark brown with a pattern of lighter brown hearts and I's.
He chuckled as he walked from the left to right of the stage "My mom, hehe, My mom gave me permission to cuss ONE time, ONE time she gave me permission cuss."
"No, I didn't," Inko spoke up, Sith leaned over and whispered in her ear about the EXTREME personality changes to this world from her own, but didn't say it aloud to keep it a surprise.
"So I was in school, being bad-"
"Is that even possible for Midoriya?" Tooru asked... she had a point
"My teacher saw me, told me: 'Izuku come'ere' she wrote a note," while mimicking her writing a note, "and stapled the note to my chest, and said: 'Make sure your mother read the note.'"
"Oh hell no..." Bakugo said.
"What's up?" Kirishima asked.
"...I'm just imagining my mom if that happened to me." But in reality, it had happened before and it was HELL. "
I get home, my mom read the note and the note said: 'Maybe if you showed your son a little attention at home, he wouldn't act like a fool in school.'
"Ooh!\Ooh!" both audiences groaned but the one outside the screen wondered what was the difference between the 2 Mama Midoriya's. But Inko Instantly thought: 'Oh heck no.'
"My mom read the note and said: Let me tell you something, you go down there and tell her, to mind her DAMN business, before I come down there and I BEAT her ASS." All while 'sassy-chick snapping'
"Jesus Chri-Gehahaha!" Kirishima laughed and was followed by others,
"Geez Ms. Midoriya, hehe." Midnight snickered as Inko hid in embarrassment.
"I said," Izuku started, his expression became more nervous and in character, "You want me to say it like that or you want me to leave some things out?"
"This is beautiful." Momo said while trying to calm herself for the punchline
"WHAT'D I SAY!?" Izuku changed back to his mother's expression, "I want you to TELL HER, to mind her DAMN business before I come down there and I BEAT her ASS."
This jerked another wave of soft laugher from the crowd, even Inko.
"I-I know what you said I just wanted you to know you're telling me to say the same thing." "Izuku if I have to tell you again, Imma smack the shit outta you."
"hehe." Nezu turned to see Aizawa quickly hid his smirk.
"Okay. No, I got it. Okay, I got it. Okay, I got it. No, I got it. All right, okay," Izuku said mimicking his trademark nervousness "Keep in mind it's a lot of pressure, all right? Keep in mind it's a lot of pressure, all right? My mom just gave me permission to go to school and cuss my teacher out. I didn't feel comfortable with the situation. So I wanted to practice. I wanted to go upstairs, I wanted to go over my lines."
"Why is this EXACTLY something Deku would do?" Ochako asked Iida who was laughing into his elbow.
"I went into my room I looked in my mirror and went, Alright," Izuku said as he cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders.
He pointed forwards like the mirror was right in front of him. "My mom told me, to tell YOUUU,"
"Oh god!" Mirio was taking deep breaths and those close to him followed suit.
"To mind yo' DAAMN-! nope, it's too loud." Izuku acted like a real actor struggling with his lines. "It's not believable, it's too loud." "So I got it down and I decided to go to bed early, 'cause I got a big day tomorrow."
The audience broke out in a new wave of laughter. "Wh-wh-kihaha! why's this s-so good?!" All Might exclaimed, being more a statement than a question.
"I woke up, put on my pants and my shirt and I caught my bus, my friends see me and they get hyped. Like, 'Ayy!" Izuku threw up a hand and looked like he was cheering to emphasize his point.
"Deku's on the bus! Everybody look, Deku's on the bus, what's up Izu?
And I go: Hey, not today ya'll, I got a lot on my mind today"
"Jesus..." Jirou muttered to herself as she cupped her mouth to stop from laughing too loud.
"They go, what do mean? and I say: I can't really get into it, all I can really say is: it's about to go down."
"Phhhff! Fff! HAHaha!" Kirishima wrapped his arms around his stomach
"She was like, what? And I said, Look Ura, Just be behind me when I walk into class, she said, Alright cool."
'Me?'
"I walk into class and I see my teacher, Midnight-sensei; "
"Aw, damn." Midnight said as she hid her face in an open palm while chuckling as Mt. Lady laughed harder.
"She's greeting everybody, 'good morning, good morning, hello, good morning, hello.'" Izuku said as he gestured at imaginary students. "She sees me and goes, 'Midoriya', And I go, Midnight-sensei." He said while looking an invisible sensei up and down.
Another round of laugher rung through the audience
"She says, did you let your mother read the note? and I say, Yes. I. Did"
Laughter was held back horribly by wide grins and teeth.
"Well, what'd your mother say?"
"I turn to my friends and go," He turned his head to look back at an imaginary Uraraka,
"It's about to go down."
Wild laughter broke out except for the obvious exceptions of Aizawa and Katsuki
"Pphhh! hehe." *Gasp* speaking of which, Both of them were having really hard times holding it all in.
"Weeell, my mom told me to tell you." Izuku presented with a mock bow\taunt.
"To mind yo' DAMN, MUTHAFUCKIN' BUSINESS BITCH!"
The absolute ROAR of laughter was deafening. The easier-to laugh individuals, (All Might, Kaminari, Sero, etc.) were clapping and gasping for air through huge grins, the more mature ones were wondering why they were laughing as much as they were while the edgy ones-laughing ones tried hiding it... to no avail.
Izuku pointed at the imaginary sensei and continued
"LIL' STUPID BITCH!"
More people joined the crowd of easier-to laugh
"Lil' DUMB TEACHER BITCH!"
Inko and Nezu tried not to, they really did.
"2 + 2 NOT-KNOWING-WHAT-THE-FUCK-IT-IS BITCH!"
Kaminari was pounding his chest to try to stop coughing from too much laughter
"CROSS-EYED, CRYIN' DOWN YOUR BACK, FAT-FOOT-ASSED BITCH!"
"W-W-what the HELL!?" Katsuki was pinching himself to stop as everyone else fell deep into the trap that was Izuku's Stand-up.
It wasn't done. Izuku squatted down slightly as if the imaginary Midnight was cowering and he still had something to say. "LONG TIDDIE-!"
Katsuki wheezed, Like, he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around his stomach, joining the rest.
"NO-NIPPLE HAVIN' ASS BITCH!" "Heh heh, the shit, haha, the shit that was crazy, was my friends going: 'Oooh! He said she ain't got no nipples!' "I got a suspension AND an ass-whupping, my mom beat the shit out of me when I got home."
"I told you to say 2 cuss words! You said 76 of them!"
The laughter died down and the tears were wiped away, Kaminari got his breath back and Aziawa got his composure back.
"That," Mirio paused as he sat back up with the still sleeping Eri in on his knee, "Was gold."