Chapter Two: Style

The grass was green, the sky was slightly cloudy, and Aqua was being chased by a giant frog while Kazuma and Jack stared at the spectacle before them. They looked on with blank expressions as Aqua screamed in fear and ran around like a chicken with its head cut off.

"You know," Jack began. "It was funny the first five minutes"

"Yeah." Kazuma agreed.

"Now her screaming is just giving me a headache."

"Yep."

"I told her they were immune to water based attack and highly resistant to blunt damage."

"You did."

"But did she listen? Noooooooo."

"Mmhmmm."

"KAZUMA!" Aqua shrieked as she narrowly avoided the frog's tongue. "KAZUMA HELP!"

Jack sighed. "You want to help her again this time, or should I?"

Kazuma gazed behind him, seeing the dozen or so giant frog corpses that he'd killed. The three had come here so Jack could help them grind some early levels and get a few easy quests done. With his coaching the NEET had been able to accomplish his task quite smoothly despite Aqua's distractions.

Kazuma took a seat on the grass. "Eh, you got this, I think I'll take a break for now."

Jack stretched his legs. "Guess I get to show off a bit."

Kazuma raised an eyebrow. "Show off? Wha-" there was a gust of wind where Jack should've been, then the sound of a metal blade slicing through the air countless times before stopping.

The frog chasing Aqua froze as Jack reappeared next to it a moment later now sheathing one of his katanas. A metallic clink echoed throughout the field as the handguard met the scabbard. Innumerable silver lines appeared on the giant frog before it split apart onto the grass in finely cut chunks.

Kazuma blinekd, "Eh?" then his brain finally processed what just happened. "EEEEHHHHHHHHHH!?" his jaw dropped. "H-Hey… isn't… isn't that a bit too crazy!?"

Aqua kept running, but didn't get even a meter farther before Jack appeared behind her and picked the goddess up by the back of her collar. She continued trying to flee mid-air for a few seconds before realizing what was going on.

"Huh?" she paused. "Why am I flying?"

"Not flying." Jack corrected, then held her in the direction of the now diced frog.

"What happened to it!?"

"I happened to it."

"How!? This is a beginner town!"

He smirked. "Bold of you to assume I'm a beginner."

Jack let her drop to her feet as Kazuma ran up to them.

"Oi! How in the world did you do that?" he asked. "What level are you? What kind of cheat did you get when you were sent here?"

Jack handed him his Adventurer Card with a knowing smile.

Kazuma's face scrunched up as he went over the card a dozen times. "There's no stats here. Not even a level." Aqua snatched it out of his hand. "Hey!"

"You're right! There's no stats or even a level on here!" Aqua exclaimed. "Your class says Archmage, and you have a laundry list of skills, but other than that it's all but blank."

Jack nodded. "Mhmm. Kazuma, have you read The Gamer or any fanfiction with that system before?"

He perked up. "Extensively."

Aqua shrugged. "I read a few. All the numbers were really annoying."

"Okay, you know how this world kind of works on Gamer logic, but nerfed with a few dozen or so patch updates?" The two nodded. "My 'cheat' isn't an item or power exactly. It's just that I operate on a different system."

Kazuma rubbed his chin. "A different system?"

"Whereas you two work on RPG logic, I work on Character Action Game logic ala Devil May Cry and Ninja Gaiden." Jack explained.

The NEET gasped then fell into the depths of despair. "Not a cheat skill my ass! But it sounds so cool, I want it but I'm stuck with her."

"What!? That's literally impossible! No god in the Heavenly Realm can do something like-" Aqua's head snapped to Kazuma as she registered what he said. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean, you have a goddess with you. You should be praising me for putting up with you!"

"This bitch..."

Jack sighed. "Jesus Christ, you two are like a pair of bratty siblings..." he shook his head. "Aqua is right to an extent. No god of her pantheon can give me what I have… which is why I received it from another pantheon."

Aqua blinked. "Eh?"

"I wasn't reincarnated into this world by your pantheon Aqua." He smirked. "I was reincarnated by Yog-Sothoth of the Eldritch pantheon."

Aqua froze before going pale as a ghost. Her eyes rolled up as she fell backwards, fainting.

Jack looked between the passed out goddess and the dumbfounded Kazuma. "She took that better than I thought she would've."

[-]

After getting back to the guild and receiving their reward, Kazuma, Jack, and Aqua (who was being carried on Jack's back because she was still passed out) walked down the streets of Axel heading to an inn.

"One thing to make sure is that you should never let her handle your party's earnings. At most, give her an allowance or something." Jack explained. "And make sure to tell any establishment you're at to never let her open up a tab."

Kazuma dutifully jotted everything on a notepad. "Got it, got it. So… do you have a holographic screen that pops up like in all the stories?"

Jack snorted. "Give me a second."

Ding!

A black and gray screen with silver letters appeared before Kazuma. Behind the menu options (which were to the left side of the screen) was a silhouette animation of slowly writhing tentacles, and there was a green health bar in the top left corner.

"Here, it's not much, but feel free to mess with it." the Fairy Tail cosplayer presented.

Kazuma looked at the screen with stars in his eyes before tentatively grabbing it out of the air. It felt like glass.

[Eldritch Gamer: Main Menu]

[Items]

[Customize]

[Movelist]

[Options]

[Shop]

[Misc.]

[End]

Kazuma tapped the items button and was greeted with an animation that sweeped the 'camera' to another location causing bubbles to rise, showing that the location in the menu was deep underwater. This time he saw the silhouettes of near humanoid creatures with glowing green eyes staring at him from a distance.

He shivered. "If I didn't know beforehand, I'd say this was a horror game."

Jack snorted. "It's Lovecraft, Kazuma. You've played Bloodborne and Dead Space before, haven't you?"

Kazuma shivered again. "I couldn't sleep for a month after playing Dead Space. But yeah, I get what you mean." he gave Jack a nervous look. "So… has anything popped up?"

He shrugged. "No. Not really."

Kazuma looked surprised. "Huh?"

He brought his attention back to the menu, as expected it was just health and mana replenishing items. Backing out of the [Items] menu, he pushed the [Customize] button and was brought into another menu.

[Demonic Armaments] (Unavailable)

[Placeholders]

[Skins]

"Unavailable?" Kazuma muttered.

"I haven't found any yet." Jack explained. "I've been trying. By God I've been trying; fuckin' dragons in this world are on some Type-Moon shit and killing one still isn't good enough for this system."

The NEET's eyes widened. "They're on what!?"

Jack sighed. "Placeholders are for normal or enchanted weapons. I used to be the blacksmith back at the village, so all of my stuff is custom made by yours truly."

"And anime weapons..." Kazuma deadpanned.

Jack gave him a look. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't have done the same."

Kazuma held his stare for two seconds before he hung his head. "Dammit."

"Anyway, I'll hook you up when I get the time."

"Eh? Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I did so for the last guy."

"Last guy?"

"Yeah, someone else Aqua reincarnated from Japan, Mitsurugi Kyouya." Jack frowned. "She sent him down here with the Cursed Sword Gram… which is so overpowered that it can kill said Nasuverse-level dragons in one hit."

Kazuma looked at him wide-eyed. "Bullshit."

"I saw it." He said in a bland defeated tone. "One swing… and done. Just like that!"

"...What kind of shitty balance patches does this world have!?"

"It took me literal years to get as badass as I am now, Kazuma," Jack's eye twitched as the events resurfaced. "Years of blood, sweat, and tears. Years of putting myself in mortal danger, always looking for the next challenge. Years of maintaining a Smokin' Sexy Style Rank to grind skill points-"

"What was that last one?"

"Ah. System has a mechanic in place of leveling up. The more I kill things, the more Battle Points I get. After reaching a certain threshold, I get one Skill Point which I can use on unlocking new moves, abilities, or functions of the system. Depending on my Style Ranking at the end of a battle, I get a multiplier applied to my earned points going up to four times at SSS-Rank."

"Interesting. So, you were saying?"

"Ah, yeah. Dragons are tough as hell to put down, and while I myself can do it, it's only after all those aforementioned years that I can even stand a chance. Watching him one-shot it was like watching all my years of training and hardwork go down the drain."

Kazuma patted his shoulder sympathetically. "That's rough buddy."

Jack perked up with a beaming, yet slightly dark, smile. "Then I remembered that my system scales me in power depending on my opponent so that it's always a test of skill. So afterwards I challenged him to a one on one duel and kicked his ass six ways to Sunday cause the Kirito rip-off can't fight for shit when odds are even!"

The green-eyed reincarnation stared at Jack with a nervous look. "You're a sadist, aren't you?"

Jack smiled somewhat viciously. "A petty one. Especially when some little shit thinks they can throw all of my hard work into the gutter in a single moment."

"Aha… haha… yeeeaaah..." Kazuma widened the distance between them and brought his attention back to the menu.

The [Skins] section, as expected, has a bunch of different outfits. Most of them were quite flashy or just outright cosplay like Jack's current attire.

The same could be said for the [Shop] mostly everything was one Skill Point each, the highest price thing being three points. Things that were grayed out meant that he had already bought those things before. Skins, skills and moves for all kinds of weapons, and new features like Camera Mode… Netflix… and Spotify?

Kazuma looked at the options disbelievingly. "Wait, what?"

Jack looked over his shoulder. "Oh that? Yeah, I've got a whole bunch of streaming services and other things in the [Misc.] menu."

Kazuma quickly backed out of the [Shop] and into [Misc.], where he found a variety of services. Netflix, Youtube, Crunchyroll, and even a Video Recording Mode was there.

The man chuckled to himself. "It certainly does make date night more interesting."

The NEET looked at him with jealousy. "I hate you."

"Your anguish sustains me, Kazuma." The Gamer snarked without missing a beat, smirking.

"So what? You've got like a dozen girlfriends around the town, playboy?"

"Something like that."

"I was kidding!"

Jack smirked. "You know the blonde receptionist in the Adventurer's Guild, Luna?"

Kazuma's jaw dropped. "Bullshit!"

"We started screwing around-"

"Boo!"

"Shortly after I joined the guild. She calls me in for help every now and then. Sometimes it's a particularly dangerous quest, sometimes it's just me being a waiter/eye candy for the female adventurers."

Kazuma paled at the words 'particularly dangerous quest'. "Is she trying to kill you or something?"

"Dude, I can fight dragons. Do you have any idea how valuable and strong that is?"

"Very?"

"It takes hundreds of high-leveled adventurers to even stand a chance against a dragon. They are national-level threats. Things so bullshit that even the Demon Kings are wary of their power."

"Hold up! Demon Kings? Plural!?"

"Yes, there's more than one Demon King, now let me finish." Jack cleared his throat. "Dragons are forces of nature, walking disasters even. Their affinity for destruction is unmatched and the scariest thing is that they're completely sentient, and most of them are fucking sociopaths." Jack grew very serious. "Unless you're me or Mitsurugi, you do not fuck with dragons. Cause if you sufficiently piss one off, there is no telling just how many innocent people may die before it gets killed or more likely… gets bored."

Kazuma grew horrified. "Jesus… and I thought the Demon King was top dog."

"They're certainly up there… but they're not the biggest fish in the pond."

"Can we move onto something else less serious. Hell, I'll listen to you prattle on about where you stuck your dick in next if it's at least more light hearted than the dragons!"

Jack shrugged. "Well, there is Wiz, a super hot lich that runs a previously failing shop in town. Sweet as a button, wouldn't hurt a fly."

Kazuma's eye twitched. "Never mind, let's talk about the blood gods."

"She was basically selling end-game equipment in a beginner town. And even then, most of the stuff was either useless or outright detrimental to whoever was using it. Like… a pair of glasses that makes you more perceptive."

He looked confused. "Eh? That doesn't sound so bad."

"About events from the day prior." Jack deadpanned.

"Pfffft! What!?"

"Don't get me started on the sword that can cut through nearly anything, but feeds on the user's blood at such a pace that you'd go into shock in three slashes due to the amount of blood it uses to keep its spell active. I use it too, by the way."

Kazuma looked at him as if he was insane. "Why?"

"Cause that shit cuts through dragon scales like butter." Jack answered. "Hurts like a bitch though. If you're wondering why I was fighting dragons, it's because I had to help her pay off her massive debt she accumulated due to her bad business decisions."

He gave him a strange look. "How much debt are we talking about here?"

Jack sighed. "Over 100 million Eris in debt."

Kazuma nearly had a heart attack on the spot at the number. "Why!?"

"I'm a sucker for a pretty face, and ever since I became her business partner, I made damn sure she wouldn't do anything that stupid ever again. Helps that the royal family now owes me big time for stopping a rampaging dragon too." He laughed. "Though now I'm in the business of crafting a helpless lich affordable gear for adventurers… and in the business of making her go cross-eyed on a semi-daily basis."

The reincarnation shook his head. "You've… you've gotten a lot done, haven't you?"

Jack shrugged. "Well, not for the past few years. Things have been slowing down quite a bit and nowadays I'm an adventurer part-time." he leaned over to Kazuma and whispered. "I usually work as a bouncer for the Succubus Cafe these days."

Kazuma froze when he heard the word 'succubus'. His otaku mind went wild at the implications of a species as infamously sex-driven as them running any kind of establishment. The NEET tried to keep his cool, but his red face and the goofy smile ruined his efforts entirely.

"S-S-S-S-S-Succubus Ca-" Jack covered Kazuma's mouth with his free hand.

"Hush!" He gave Kazuma a stern look. "It's an open secret between the men of Axel, and there's also an unspoken rule to not let any of the women find out. You gotta keep this to yourself."

Kazuma nodded silently.

Jack smiled. "Good, I'll tell you more later. Right now I got to go help Wiz out with the shop, sooooo..." he dropped the unconscious Aqua in his arms.

"Oof!" Kazuma almost lost his balance due to the unexpected weight.

"You're going to have to carry her for now." he gave him a two finger wave. "Later!"

I got ten steps away from Kazuma before he froze and backpedaled to his previous position.

"Give me a second, I almost forgot." Taking out a piece of paper, he wrote something down before stuffing it in Kazuma's pocket. "That's written permission from me saying that you can take my reward from the few quests that we completed."

Kazuma looked at him bug-eyed. "Wait, really!?"

"Yes, really. You can put the extra money into a savings account later, but for now, you need better gear… and a room at an inn. I can smell the stables on you." Jack gave Kazuma the once over. "With a little help I can see you going places, Kazuma. Later."

And with that, Jack left the pair.

As Kazuma watched him walk away he felt a sense of joy he hadn't felt since his first ten seconds in this new world. At long last, something in this world that wasn't working against him!

[-]

In a dark room far beyond the reaches and comprehension of mortal limitations sat the Great Old One, Cthulhu, as he stared at a computer monitor with a miserable expression. He pulled at the metal collar with blinking blue lights around his neck with a grimace.

He hated this with every fiber of his being.

Cthulhu hadn't had anything to eat but cake for the last 22 years, and he got sick of the stuff in the first week. The Outer Gods forced him to manage the Cosmic Stream which basically amounted to him having to babysit most of the eldritch community while some of the most powerful beings in existence fangirl over a dime-a-dozen isekai protagonist.

Surely this was too harsh of a punishment, right? Sure he ended most of creation as they knew it, but what eldritch being hadn't done that before?

(Note: While quite a few eldritch beings do cause rather destructive accidents, the one Cthulhu caused was on such a catastrophic scale that Nyarlathotep's own kill count looks tame, and he caused it by sheer stupidity. He deserves everything he gets.)

"I mean, sure, I did slack off a bit on the job, but come on..." the octopus-headed god mumbled.

He raised an eyebrow as he saw that brown-haired kid holding a blue-haired girl looking really happy as Azathoth's husband (he still couldn't get over that) walked away.

He hummed to himself. "I'm about to end this man's whole career."

With the press of a few buttons, Cthulhu performed a cosmic transfer directly into the blue-haired girl's mind, showing her the tentacled horrors far beyond human imagination… of his internet history.

The effect was immediate. The girl shot up from her unconsciousness and started clawing at anything and everything in a terror-fuel panic that surely ruined whatever good mood that brown-haired little shit was in.

Cthulhu sighed. "It's the little things in life."

Chapter End