Chapter 2

Rachel's Pov

New York was the worst place for a mute person to live. The people were rude most of the time and got impatient when I was writing my answers. It was a challenge living that way but after two years and a half I was used to the weird and judging looks.

When my doctor said two years ago 'Rachel, you have cancer' I felt like my world was falling apart. My husband left me when I told him and he sent me the divorce papers a week later. I was alone, without a reason to fight, without a reason to live. I couldn't deny that I was depressed, going through chemotherapy, but not fully willing to recover.

That all changed when I found out I was pregnant. Maybe my world was falling apart but it wasn't my son's fault. I started thinking in a positive way and improved my alimentation. The nurses were happy for me and they made sure of letting me know that, everyday after the chemo. When Theo was born in some way he built me up again. I found in him the hope I losted.

After that everything went well. I mean, I lost my voice but I got a reason to live. Half a year later Theo was born and two years later I was in remission and suddenly life started shining in me again. It was obvious that I wouldn't be able to be on Broadway again so I found something else to do. I earned a bachelor's degree in music education and currently teach music at a music school for special kids.

I felt Theo's hand squeezing mine while we were crossing the street. One day a drunk driver almost hit us on the street close to our house. Since then my little boy has been scared of crossing streets. I couldn't judge him because my heart went crazy for the same reason.

Once we were at the sidewalk I made him look at me, "Everything is fine, Theo. We crossed the street and now we are safe, honey." I scooped him up and we shared a hug with his head buried on my neck.

I was teaching him signal language. He didn't know all the signs but he knew the alphabet. I go letter by letter but the important thing is that he can understand me. "Where are we going, momma?"

I pulled back a little so he could see my lips. It was also a relief that he was good at lip reading. "We are going to meet Santana at the cafeteria. Do you remember her?"

"Yeah, the hot cocoa lady."

I let out a loud laugh and nodded to my little boy. "That's right, the hot cocoa lady."

*

When we entered the cafeteria I spotted Santana sitting on a table next to a window. Her back was toward me so she didn't notice that we arrived. I looked at Theo and put a finger on my lips in a signal of silence.

We walked to the table almost on the tip of our feets. I leaned over Santana's shoulder and left a peck on her cheek. She gasped in surprise and turned to look at me with a hand on her chest while Theo was laughing at her reaction.

"Morning, Tana."

"You scared me to death, Rach!" I felt my shoulders shake while I was trying to hold back my laugh. "Morning to both of you."

Theo approached Santana and hugged her. "Hi, hot cocoa ladie."

Santana watched him frowning and then burst into laughter. "Hot cocoa lady, huh? That's a new one." I slapped her arm playfully and took place on the chair in front of her, sitting Theo next to me.

"He likes to give unique nicknames. Adding to that that he loves hot cocoa and you gave him two cups. That's why now you're the hot cocoa lady." She laughed and Theo just shrugged his little shoulders agreeing with the statement I made.

"I can totally rock that nickname but that can't leave this table, buddy. I have a reputation to protect." I puffed getting a clear image of Santana declaring that, every time she said something nice in the McKinley High choir room. "I order for you, hope it's okay."

I nodded, taking some napkins out of Theo's hand. "I think we left a question floating before I left your office." This time was Santana's time to nod and I felt a little shiver at the sight of her eyes focusing on my lips. "Kurt stopped talking to me after he moved out, I don't even know why. When Brody left, I didn't know where he lived and had changed his phone number. I lost myself when the doctor told me I would never be able to sing or even speak again. I was so depressed that everything around me disappeared. The only thing that brought me back was Theo."

Santana took my hand across the table and gave it a little squeeze. "I'm so sorry all of this happened to you, Rach." I shrugged my shoulders and gave her a sad smile. With the time I accepted what happened to me and since then I have been happy with my son. "Where do you work at? Something related to Broadway? Are you like a guionist or something like that?"

"Sort of. I accepted the fact that I would never be able to sing again but that didn't mean I couldn't help others do it. I have a bachelor in Music Education so I'm a music teacher. But I work with kids like me, I have some deaf and mute students that inspire me day by day. See how they are so devoted to learning even though the world judges them and labels them as incapable. It's actually a mutual job, they inspire me to love myself and I inspire them to reach their dreams." I smiled brightly.

Those kids are my family just like Glee was a long time ago. I was being part of something and we were making it special. Santana sat there with her eyes now locked in mines. I don't know what it is about them but I feel safe under those brown eyes. They look at me with so much admiration and tenderness that make me want to cry.

Our gaze contest was interrupted when the waitress came with our breakfasts. They looked delicious but I frowned at the lack of bacon on my dish. Then I remembered Santana didn't know I wasn't vegan anymore. I stopped being it when the baby's hormones started attacking my body, making me crave for bacon. Since then I love bacon as much as I ever loved tofu.

Santana's voice snapped me out of my reverie on Baconville. "I'd like to see what you do with those kids. You must be an amazing teacher." I didn't want to show a lot of ego but I really was an amazing teacher.

"Maybe you can pass by Monday. I have practice with the choir and I must admit that they are superb."

Santana chuckled and said, "I expect them to be superb, they have the best teacher."

And just with that I blushed madly. It's been years since someone congratulated me and it used to be for my voice. But Santana was congratulating my teaching and hasn't even seen me interacting with my students. Glad I found her, well, technically Theo found her. I'll buy him some candies later.

*

The house was completely silent. That is not a good sign when you have a 4 year old. The last time the house was this quiet was when he left the water running and the bathroom flooded. It was a disaster.

I found him sleeping on the sofa, hugging a cushion as if his life depended on it. He looked so cute in his Batman jumpsuit. The TV was showing The Lion King, his favorite movie. Every night it was like that, he played the movie and fell asleep in the middle of it. And I ended up carrying him up to his room.

I picked him up off the couch and instantly his arms wrapped around my neck. This was already a routine, I walked to his room and laid him on the bed. I pulled out the sheets and draped them over her body and turned on the little lamp next to her bed. I leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead and brushed his hair out of his face.

I was about to leave when Theo's sleepy voice made me stop, "Mom, when will we see the hot cocoa lady again?" I smiled softly and wrote the answer on a paper because I knew he was too sleepy to read my lips.

"Monday." He nodded and dropped his head against the pillow.

I wasn't going to admit it but I wanted to see Santana again too. I haven't seen any of my old fellow Glee clubbers in a long time. I missed them, I missed being at the McKinley even if that meant slushie attacks.

Damn I missed being an teenagear. Only being afraid of what college I would go to. Hearing the bad song choices Mr. Shue used to make for the competition. Seeing Brittany and Mike dance across the choir room, I even missed Finn dancing like a toddler. I missed the diva-offs with Mercedes. And how can I forget Puck's mohawk? But sadly we can't go back in time, we just can swim in the memories and hope for them to be good enough.

The darkness of night invaded my room and soon I was in a deep sleep. Mentally asking for time to pass quickly and come on Monday.