So, I have decided to turn this into a collection of one-shots since apparently everyone who read the last chapter fucking loved it, so I present to you the second chapter, in which the Akatsuki get high as fuck. Once again shoutout to r/NarutoFanfiction, especially u/9shadowcat9, for the idea.
Also, reviews:
Sommernacht: Thanks for the compliments and more shinobi on weed are coming your way, all in one-shot form!
Jac Fruit: You know it! He'll probably be in one of the upcoming chapters
FabvlFox: I'll definitely take that idea. :)
Blackbear: Thank you!
Kafeel: Hope this chapter is just as funny!
Dasher123: And now you will!
Fictionlover87: Indeed. Wtf is this.
MagicBanana223: I'm so glad you like it. You're welcome.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT! ENJOY!
The Akatsuki Get High
Kisame had made an amazing discovery today.
Earlier, the plant around Zetsu's body had caught fire when Itachi was rampaging about someone (Read: Tobi) stealing his pocky, and apparently, the venus fly trap-shaped thing was custom made weed.
Kisame's first question was, "Where the fuck did you get this amazing shit?"
To which Zetsu replied, "There's a guy that sells it like a block away from Pain-sama's tower."
-With Kisame about ten minutes later, a block away from Pain's tower-
"I need everything you have. How much will it cost?" Kisame asked the dealer, hand on Samehada's hilt in case the price was too high and the dealer needed to be 'persuaded' to lower the price.
"Ten thousand Ryo," Kisame took Samehada off his back. "Err- I mean ten Ryo," The man said hastily before dropping all the weed and running as far away as possible.
Kisame grinned and made his way back to the Akatsuki base, all the while trying to hide the weed from everyone he saw.
-Akatsuki hideout, another 5 minutes later-
Kisame's effort to hide the weed was in vain, as he was caught by Itachi about three seconds after he entered the hideout.
It wasn't that bad though, he and Itachi just went up to Kisame's quarters and smoked in peace.
Unfortunately, they forgot about the hole in the door, allowing everyone in the base to smell the weed.
Within five minutes every single Akatsuki member besides Tobi, who was out rambling about how good of a boy he was, was in Kisame's room smoking weed.
"Hey…have you ever realized that the cloaks really don't fit an organization called Akatsuki? (Which means Daybreak) Like…why are there clouds on them?" Deidara asked.
"Hmmmmm." was heard from all of the people in the room, before out of nowhere Sasori took out painting supplies spontaneously and went around replacing the clouds on everyone's cloak with a sunrise.
"I love it. True art." Deidara said while lighting his ninth blunt of the day.
-Another 15 minutes later, the same place-
"Hey, Pain-sama? How the hell are you even high? That's not even your real body." Konan asked.
"Oh yeah? You wanna question a true God? At least I don't have piercings." Pain retorted through Yahiko's body, clearly taking offence to what Konan asked.
"Amen." Answered almost everyone except Konan, who was now flustered and yelling about what Pain had said.
"You have piercings too though! Don't make me come and paper bomb your real body! You can't do shit! At least I don't have wrinkles like your skinny ass!" Konan continued to ramble angrily, but everyone had already tuned her out.
"So… anyone wanna have another debate about true art?" Hidan asked, surprisingly mellow.
"What I wanna talk about IS WHO STOLE MY FUCKING POCKY!?" Itachi screeched.
"Shut up. Aren't you blind yet?" Kakuzu replied. "Anyways, I think we should try and see what that imbecile Tobi looks like. Who's with me?"
Everyone replied with an affirmative. It was also at this moment that Tobi had the misfortune of appearing in front of everyone. Pain, who was least surprised by Tobi's appearance, yelled, "BANSHO TEN'IN!"
Tobi was pulled towards the Path of Pain with a yelp. Once Pain had Tobi pinned, Sasori ripped the mask off the face of Tobi.
"AHH, WHAT ARE THOSE?" was the common reaction to the scars on the now unmasked Tobi's face.
Tobi started screeching and grabbing for his mask but was shut up by Kisame, who shoved a blunt into Tobi's mouth. The entire Akatsuki was now high.
Kisame then started talking, "You know, from what I've seen that Naruto kid was pretty cool. Want to get him to join the Akatsuki?"
Everyone decided that Kisame was right and started to prepare their things to head to Konoha.
-Konoha Gates, The next day-
The entire Akatsuki walked up to the gate guards, who had started talking to them.
"State your purpose." Said one of the guards
"We are here to convince and or kidnap Uzumaki Naruto. He will join the Akatsuki." Stated Pain, who was the closest to the gate guards. The Akatsuki all turned and stared at the guards intently
It was at this moment that the guards realized who they were facing, shit their pants, then passed out.
"That was easy," Deidara said.
"Yep." Was the general reply.
-With Naruto (and the Akatsuki) a few minutes later-
"You want me to what?" Naruto asked incredulously.
"Join the Akatsuki." was his reply.
"Hell no!" Naruto shouted.
"You don't get a choice." A man said from behind Naruto while grabbing his shoulder.
"WHERE DID YO-" Naruto yelled.
Naruto never finished his sentence as he was hit in the back of the neck and knocked out.
-Konoha gates with the squad. Again.-
The Akatsuki, who had completed their goal, started leaving the Village before Deidara stopped them.
"Pain-sama, you have to blow up Konoha with a Shinra Tensei now," Deidara said.
"Why?" Asked Pain.
"So we can walk away in slow motion while everything gets blown to hell behind us of course!"
"Say no more. Shinra Tensei!"
A good portion of Konoha no longer existed.
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And that's another one! I hope this one was as funny as the last chapter, though it was short. Huge thanks to my reviewers. Huh, guess that's all I have to say. OH! I just wanted to mention that any more content on my account will be coming slower by now. I can't keep spending hours at my computer.
Reviews and advice are always welcome!
Peace (And thanks)
-Spades