Author's note:

I do not own the Harry Potter universe or anything that comes along with it. That honor goes to its magnificent creator, J.K. Rowling. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!

(Edit 12/5/2021: This was first published in late 2020.)

Chapter 1: Marlene Kicks Ass

Marlene McKinnon walked along Privet Drive, shaking her head. Every house along the street looked identical, everybody even had the same car! This is the worst kind of muggle neighborhood for a wizard to grow up in, she thought sadly. She just hoped Harry had been faring well those last seven years.

As she neared the house, number four, she recognized an old lady mowing the lawn of number five. While she was glad that Albus had thought of placing someone to watch over Harry, she would have to find out just how good of a job Arabella Figg had done. With no more than a wave of her hand, her glamour charms were up, and she was walking towards the house next door to Harry's.

"Hello there! Do you happen to know where Harry Potter's house is? I'm Marlene, his primary school teacher, and I want to have a chat with his g — parents," Marlene greeted with a warm smile. Inside, she cursed herself for tripping up. But if Arabella had even a flicker of recognition of her, she had not shown it.

"He lives with his aunt and uncle, but they aren't home right now. I'm Arabella, their next-door neighbor. How about you come in and I'll tell you what I know," Arabella easily deflected the question. Marlene scowled inwardly, knowing that Lily's relatives were awful by the way she used to complain about them.

~~flashback~~

Lily ran into their shared dormitory, sobbing.

"What's wrong?" Mary asked. She had always been the most compassionate of the four.

"Tuney told me not to come to her wedding," Lily managed between sobs.

"Just ignore her. If she treats you that badly, maybe you don't want to go to her wedding," Emmeline suggested.

"She is marrying the pig, after all," Mary snorted. We all giggled.

"What do you think, 'Lene?" asked Emmeline.

"I think Lils needs a hug," I grinned, pulling her into my arms. Soon, all of us were tightly wrapped in a group hug.

"Thanks, a hug was just what I needed," Lily said.

~~end flashback~~

The next thing she knew, Marlene was sitting down on Arabella's couch as she brought out a plate of scones and some tea. It was not a very subtle move, as there were telltale signs of Veritaserum, such as the distinct smell. Marlene politely declined. Her cover was an important one, for everybody assumed that she was dead.

"Harry is a bright child, and he is always mature for his age. But when he comes over, he becomes very quiet and opts to play with my cats instead of watching the telly. I don't know much of what goes on over there, though," Arabella supplied. It was mostly things that Marlene had already deduced, so by the time they were done with their conversation, all she had gotten was that Harry acted the same way at Arabella's house as he did at school.

"Excuse me to the washroom for a minute, will you?" Arabella asked. Marlene nodded. Once the lady had left, Marlene began to use the extra time to strengthen her glamour charms for her trip to the Dursleys'. She was so concentrated on the task in front of her that she didn't notice that Arabella had returned.

"Wand in the air!" came a shout from behind Marlene. She had been discovered. She raised her wand in the air in defeat.

"Who are you?" Arabella questioned. With a flick of her hand, the glamour dissolved to show the weathered face of Marlene McKinnon. Arabella's face drained of all color.

"They never found my body, did they?"

"Dumbledore put him there. I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen. McKinnon, I think they're abusing him!" Arabella blurted.

"Then it's time to take matters into our own hands."

Marlene McKinnon walked up to number four, Privet Drive, with as much courage as she could muster. Knowing what Petunia put Lily through, she was sure that she would rather face the giant squid than face that family of pigs. She snickered to herself. Giant squid jokes had been Lily's specialty.

~~flashback~~

"Levicorpus!"

Snape was hanging upside down by his foot.

"Put him down, Potter!" Lily came to her friend's defense. Despite the fact that Snape was a greasy git, Lily was still friends with him, and the other three accepted that.

"I will if you go out with me," Potter teased. Lily's face turned as red as her hair.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!" Lily retorted. That comment seemed to hit home.

~~end flashback~~

Marlene rang the doorbell and a woman who looked vaguely like Lily, whom she assumed was Petunia, opened the door, along with a pig-faced man and child, whom she assumed were Vernon and Dudley.

"Who are you and what do you want from us?" she demanded.

"I am Harry Potter's teacher at school and I would like to discuss Harry's performance with you," Marlene said smoothly, unfazed by the lady's, who she assumed was Petunia's, harsh tone.

"Well, come in, then, but make it quick." Petunia opened the door wider to let Marlene in.

"Can I see him?" Marlene inquired. She wondered where the tyke was, judging by the fact that it seemed like only three people lived there.

"Stay here. I'll get him." Curious to know where Harry slept, Marlene followed Petunia into the front hallway. She assumed that Petunia would go upstairs, but Marlene was surprised when she stopped at a small cupboard under the stairs. And she was horrified when Petunia unlocked the cupboard to reveal Harry sitting inside.

Before anyone could make a move, Marlene walked forward. "This is unacceptable living conditions for a child. I will be taking Harry with me right now." Harry ran to Marlene and hugged her around the waist.

This time, Vernon stepped forward. "We are under strict orders to keep this child..." But he was interrupted.

"Dumbledore's orders, I presume?" She whipped her wand out, and suddenly everyone was staring at her in shock. "Well, then to hell with Dumbledore. I'm Harry's relative, and I'm taking him." And with a pop, Marlene and Harry were gone.

"Not a word to Dumbledore, you hear?" came a disembodied voice. The Dursleys had no choice but to stay silent.

Sneak Peek Into Next Week:

Harry learns a bit about magic and listens to a story from Marlene.