Chapter 2-CF002: King of the Cryptids

Clint arrived at the Mystery Shack bright and early the next morning, and wasn't surprised at all to find Wendy and the Twins already waiting for him and raring to go… The embarrassment for him started early when he had to inform Wendy that he didn't have a driver's license, so she would have to do all the driving. Thankfully, Wendy didn't mind since she liked to drive anyway. The first controversy of the day occurred when Mabel called shotgun, only for the age-old tradition to be rebuked by Wendy, who insisted Clint ride in the passenger seat next to her. She needed him to navigate after all… Mabel didn't complain too much, understanding why her red-headed friend was actually so insistent.

Clint enjoyed the first hour of the trip as Wendy made constant small talk, and even the occasional attempt to flirt. Mabel would chime in from time-to-time, while Dipper remained tellingly silent. As much as Clint wanted to enjoy Wendy being into him, he just couldn't under the circumstances. Afterall, he remembered well how he felt when he was the one stuck in the backseat… Feeling rejected, alone, and ignored… In fact, that entire first day of the trip wasn't a positive experience for Dipper… Clint knew just how to remedy that situation though… Or he hoped so at least.

A little passed 9:00am, the quartet of monster hunters had driven as far into the mountains as nature would allow. They'd be on foot the rest of the way. Wendy was a bit apprehensive at the thought of leaving her car in the woods, just off where the dirt road they'd been traveling down came to an abrupt end, worried it might get stolen. Dipper and Mabel where both of the mind that it was more likely that the vehicle would get mistaken for abandoned and towed away, but neither cared to voice that opinion and risk offending the redhead. That car was a piece of crap, but Wendy was proud of her little clunker.

The hike to the campsite was a grueling one. While Clint was mostly feigning familiarity with this region, he did have a map handy and remembered the name of the valley the first version of himself had led them too. A relatively unknown, but not unheard-of spot that would make for a great basecamp. It took a good three hours, so by the time noon had come around, the group was exhausted and starving. After a quick meal, they set up camp, the trio from the present staring at Clint in awe as he finished pitching his tent… Or rather staring at this tent in awe as it was unlike anything they'd ever really seen before. Clint broke out in a mild nervous sweat, having expected this reaction.

You see, when Clint first arrived in Andorra, he hadn't anticipated an extended two-year stay, so camping equipment wasn't on the shortlist of supplies he did have on hand when he crossed dimensions. The Andorrans didn't exactly have mass produced outdoor gear handy, so Clint had to use the materials and methods available too him… Which happened to be the leathery hide of a rhino-type creature native to Andorra. The result was a perfectly fine-looking tent… That appeared to be crafted entirely from animal hide.

"That's an interesting tent," Wendy commented. "Is that buffalo leather?"

"Not exactly," Clint admitted, while simultaneously electing to go with a toned-down version of that lie. It was as good as any other option he had that might help explain away his alien camping gear. "Close though… It is buffalo, but it's not real animal hide, just crafted to look that way. The design is actually based off the teepees some of the local Native American tribes in the Great Plains region used."

Wendy whistled, impressed by the faux authenticity. "Neat."

"So, it's not real animal skin?" Mabel asked, sounding skeptical and relieved.

"No animals were harmed in the crafting of this tent Mabel." At least not any from earth, Clint thought to himself.

"Well… This does seem like a great area to conduct a search," Dipper admitted reluctantly. "So, what's the plan now fearless leader?"

"Simple," Clint responded, trying to ignore the hint of hostility in his younger self's voice. "We take a nice long break after that long ass trip up here! Take a nap or something if we need too."

"Sounds good to me!" Mabel cheered, as she plopped down on her but.

"Take a nap! What are you talking about?! I came all the way out here to hunt for Bigfoot, not to hangout around the campfire roasting marshmallows during the world's most inconvenient camping trip!"

"Think about it Dipper," Clint prodded, as he poked Dip in the forehead, something his younger self did not seem to appreciate. "Think about everything you know about Sasquatch. When do most researchers believe they're most active?"

"At night…" Dipper trailed off, seeing where this was going.

"Which means we should focus the bulk of our investigation at night! We only have a couple days to search, and we can't be looking non-stop, so let's rest up for now so we have plenty of energy for tonight when we're more likely to experience some activity."

"Fine then," Dipper pouted stubbornly, as he turned his back to his older self. "You just know everything don't you?!"

"Dipper, dude! You're being rude man!"

"Yeah, he didn't have to agree to bring us along you know?" Mabel reminded him, equally as annoyed with her brother's attitude as Wendy was. "You can at least pretend to be appreciative."

"That doesn't mean he can act like the boss of all of us!"

"Actually, that's exactly what it means," Clint said sternly, actually spooking Dipper straight just a bit. "I'm the adult here with the experience, and you're still a kid with a head that seems a couple sizes too large."

When Dipper failed to respond or even look back at Clint, he grunted his frustration, before grabbing his younger self by the back of his vest. "Hey!"

Clint smiled towards Wendy and Mabel and tipped his hat. "If you ladies would please excuse me… I need to have a talk with this one about getting that sand out of his butt-crack!"

"You don't think we need to step in do ya?" Wendy asked Mabel, a touch concerned for Dipper.

"Nah. I have a feeling Bro will be coming back to us with a drastically altered attitude."

Dipper was a bit nervous as he looked up at his cousin towering over him. Clint had acted so laid back and friendly up until this point, that the sudden flash of anger he'd displayed was a bit unnerving.

"Let me explain something to you Dipper… You realize this trip would've been a lot easier for me on my own, without three kids tagging along! Nobody forced you to be here! I agreed to take you with me though, when I saw how badly you wanted to go. I thought I saw someone with the same interests I had, somebody I might be able to work with and impart some of my knowledge on too. That's going to be kind of difficult if you're fighting me every step of the way!"

The browbeating did its job, as Dipper looked remorseful just as Clint remembered feeling all those years ago. "I know! I'm sorry!.. And you were totally right about it being smarter to hunt for Bigfoot at night… I really don't want to be acting like a jerk, it's just…"

"This wasn't what you were expecting," Clint answered for him, Dipper responding by looking towards the ground ashamed. "You were hoping to be taking this trip with your Uncle Stanford, which I can't blame you for in the least, rather than some strange distant relative you just met… Or maybe just hoping to go with friends, but things aren't always going to go the way you want them too Dipper. You've just gotta learn to roll with the punches and make the best out of what life gives you sometimes… Trust me, I found myself in a situation where I had to start looking on the bright side of things really fast, or risk losing myself in the process."

"The situation isn't so bad… I just…" Dipper tried to resist the reflex to look back at Wendy, and almost succeeded, if not for the briefest of glimpses back in the red-heads direction, and that was all Clint needed to see.

"I figured as much… The amount of attention your friend has been paying to me has to be making you uncomfortable."

"No, not like that!" Dipper blushed, almost immediately. For somebody Dipper had a difficult time not disliking the moment they'd met, he was now finding Clint oddly easy to open up too… There was a strange comforting familiarity and empathy in the way Clint spoke to him that Dipper was struggling to put into words. "Well, maybe a little, but I'm used to seeing her interested in guys that aren't me. That ships sunk, and I know it… It's more of the fact that she had no interest in coming on this trip with us until you got involved, and that's what bothers me… I thought we were friends, and that she enjoyed hanging out and going on these adventures with us… No sooner than the summer starts, and she's blowing us off the first chance she gets… Maybe I am fooling myself or expecting too much of her. Of course she'd want to hang out with people closer to her own age, and not humor some kid she's known for all of three months of her life."

Clint, now down on a knee to get closer to Dipper's level, fought off the sigh attempting to force itself passed his lips. He tried to look his younger self in the eye, which was difficult since Dip was staring at the ground, all the while Clint was thinking to himself, "Was I seriously this insecure when I was his age? Good grief, of course I was! It's just weird to see it up close on my own face like this… Who am I kidding? I'm not exactly the most confident person in the world 'til this day! It took surrounding myself with capable people I knew had my back before I even started coming out of my shell. Gotta remember that he still needs more time to realize that himself."

"I get it Dipper… I've got a girl back home myself that makes me act stupid sometimes… Look at it this way, I'm no closer to Wendy in age than you are Dipper. And from what I've seen from the three of you so far, it's obvious she's very fond of you guys. I think you might be reading a little bit too much into one camping trip she was initially disinterested in. If she blows you off the entire summer, then you might have reasons to be concerned… I don't think you have to worry too much about that though."

"You… Really think so?"

"As sure as I can be… Based on an opinion I've drawn from three people I met barely 24 hours ago! Now, what do you say we set up our gear, make sure everything's ready for tonight and take it easy for a while! Remember, only amateur Bigfoot Hunters start nodding off at midnight. You're no amateur are you?"

Dipper smiled, appreciating the encouragement. He was more accustomed to getting mocked for his interests, with a handful of obvious exceptions of course. "No sir!"

The hours passed and after a modest dinner, the small crew of would-be missing link discoverers made their final preparations for the night ahead. They did have one small issue to contend with… A rival group of Bigfoot Hunters that happened to stumble upon their camp. Only these were the literal kind of 'hunters' more interested in bagging a corpse then they were actually proving the existence of the mythical beast. Clint remembered these a-holes from the first time he lived through this weekend. They didn't pose much of a threat, but they would have to deal with them sooner than he would like. Oh well, no time to dwell on that now. The sun was setting, it was time to get to work.

"Night-vision goggles… Great idea Dipper! How did you manage to get your hands on these?"

Dipper appeared pleased that Clint was impressed. "I… Borrowed them from Grunkle Ford's lab. I couldn't quite track him down to ask permission, but I'm sure he won't mind considering the circumstances, and Stan said he'd vouch for me… Sorry there's only two, but that's all Grunkle Ford had available."

"Two will be enough… We should probably split up to cover more ground, so both groups should take one. Wendy, since we're the more experienced outdoorspeople, why don't you take Mabel and head south of the campsite, and Dipper and I will head north."

"Oh… You want to split up," Wendy stammered in disappointment, drawing an amused chuckle from Mabel. "Is separating the best idea? Wouldn't it be safer to stick together, especially with those sketchy hunters lurkin' around the woods somewhere?"

"I don't think we have much to worry about from them. Plus, I have it on good authority that you're more than capable of handling yourself, and I'm no slouch either. But you do have a point… We shouldn't wander too far away from each other in case of an emergency. So, don't travel any further than about half-a-mile from the campsite. We all have our radios, so staying in contact shouldn't be an issue."

"You're the boss!" Mabel cheered, as she nabbed a pair of the googles from her brother and placed them atop her head. "Well, what are we waiting for?! Come on Wendy, let's go find Bigfoot before these stinky boys do! Girl power!"

"Yeah… Girl power… Woot…" Wendy pouted, less than enthused. Mabel didn't seem to notice as she skipped ahead merrily. Dipper did though, prompting him to approach his red-headed friend with slight reluctance. "Uh, Wendy…"

"Yeah dude?" she asked with mild detachment.

"Look… I get it… You came on this trip hoping to hang out with Clint but… Please keep an eye on my sister and make sure she stays safe. You know how she can get…"

Wendy frowned, feeling offended at first before being struck by the sudden realization of how she was acting and how that must've looked to the others.. With a mild smirk, she playfully punched Dipper on the shoulder. "Come on dude, you know I wouldn't let anything happen to Mabes."

"Thanks…" Dipper smiled weakly, rubbing his shoulder. "I know you wouldn't…"

"Same goes for this guy too though… Anything happens to you, and he'll have to answer to me!" Wendy looked over at Clint, who smiled and tipped his hat to her, forcing the redhead into another blushing fit. Embarrassed, she turned her back, and headed off after the eager Mabel.

The two groups split off in separate directions to conduct their respective searches, the results of which were likely to be heavily unbalance due to one of the pairs having a considerable advantage in knowledge and experience over the other. The late evening soon gave way to night, and the hours passed with little happening as they waited… And waited… And waited some more with little to no action to speak of, as was usually the case with most cryptid hunts. Clint and Dipper were a bit more prepared and excepting of a potentially slow night, but the girls on the other hand… Were quite frankly bored out of their minds. Standing in a pitch-black forest, being eaten alive by bugs, and not even really sure what signs they were supposed to be looking for that Wendy wasn't already familiar with.

"This sucks!" Wendy complained as she kicked at a pile of rocks that had been innocently minding their own business. "I could be back in town hanging out with the gang tonight, and instead I'm stuck in the wilderness surrounded by dark creepy woods, looking for something I probably couldn't see even if it was standing behind me!"

"I'm not exactly having a blast either Wendy," Mabel huffed, as she raised the night-vision goggles above her head. "I sorta had to come though because I promised Dipper. You made no such commitment. If fact, you had an easy out, and you kind of screwed yourself into getting dragged along."

"Yeah, when I thought we'd all be hangin' out together, and I'd at least get to ogle a cute guy while he did all the monster hunting nonsense!"

"And expecting what to happen exactly? If we were guys, I think I'd have to accuse you of thinking with your dick! What exactly were you expecting to happen? I'm pretty sure guys his age would consider a girl like you jailbait…"

"It's not like that at all Mabel! I'm not delusional, but that doesn't mean I can't hang out with and admire the guy while I have the opportunity… I don't understand why you're not going all gaga over him! I've seen you go completely mental over boys that weren't half as attractive as him."

"Ewe, no… Even if I ignore the whole 'cousin' thing, he doesn't do anything for me. He reminds me way too much of my brother, so that would just be wrong and weird on so many levels."

Wendy laughed out loud. "You're joshing me right? Dip is cool and all, but he ain't Clint."

"Oh please… Clint may be older, better looking, and more comfortable in his own skin, but when you look at everything else about them, you don't even need to squint to see the similarities. They're basically the same person… I can't think of a better example of a before and after image."

"Come on… You're not serious!"

"Uh… Yeah! I know my brother better than anyone, and he and Clint are definitely related. I mean, who were the two of us whose idea of a fun weekend was hanging out in the woods looking for a hairy monster man?"

Wendy said nothing else as she processed what Mabel had just said. She looked off in the distance, in the direction where the boys were conducting their own hunt, blushing ever so faintly. Then the mood was promptly killed by an odd sounding howl… And then another deeper pitched howl. "What was that?! I've never heard that kind of animal cry before!"

"I have, it's just Dipper doing his Bigfoot call… Sounds like Clint is giving it a whirl himself."

"Ah, makes sense…" Wendy sighed… She just didn't want to be doing this anymore. "Should we just call it a night and head back to camp? I'm sure the guys wouldn't mind… It's not like we're any closer to trippin' over Bigfoot or anything."

"Maybe… I am getting tired… We should probably at least call…" Mabel was the one who got interrupted this time, by the sound of something rustling in the bushes to her left. Mabel aimed her flashlight in the direction of the disturbance, and immediately detected an oddity. Strangely, one of the bushes appeared taller than the others… She raised the beam upward… And it shone directly in the face of the last creature she thought she'd ever see. And ironically, the exact one she'd been looking for.

Three distinct screams filled the night.

Not all that far away, Dipper and Clint were having the same amount of luck as the girls, despite all their advanced techniques… Like knocking on trees with sticks. While obviously more into the investigation than the females, even Dipper was growing a bit discouraged.

"Its… A lot of waiting isn't it?" Dipper lifted the googles off his head looking just as bored and tired as the girls. "We've been out here half the night, and literally all we've heard so far are crickets…"

"This job is mostly waiting Dipper! If Bigfoot were easy to find, he'd have been found by now. You didn't really expect to actually track him down on your first attempt did you? The name of this game is patience Dipper… I've been investigating stuff like this since I was your age, and I haven't so much as found a convincing footprint yet. Most days you spend out in the field are going to be more or less like this."

"I guess I kind of knew that…" Dipper admitted. He was accustomed to the weirdness of Gravity Falls and had to confess to himself that he sometimes forgot that paranormal encounters were far scarcer outside that blessed little town. "I know I need to be patient, but I just can't help but feel disappointed."

"And it's perfectly okay to feel that way! In fact, get used to it, you'll be feeling it a lot in this line of work… Speaking of which, are you serious about this path you're taking Dipper? Following in your Great-Uncle's footsteps?"

"Yes," Dipper answered without hesitation. "Ever since I first arrived in Gravity Falls, I've been fascinated with this kind of stuff… Like a voice calling out to me… I want to know what's out there! The answers to the questions that nobody has the answers too. Just between you and me, I'm afraid I might be a little too obsessed."

"That's a good thing Dipper… Because this way of life isn't easy. It's a lot of quiet nights like this out in the woods looking stupid… Ghost Hunts in dingy houses where any suspected paranormal activity can usually be explained away by faulty pipes and creaky floorboards. UFO witnesses actually wearing tin-foil hats…. This isn't a glamours lifestyle. It's a lot of work with little reward. You're not going to be respected by other people in the scientific community, and people are just generally going to look down at you for being the freak who believes in ghosts and monsters."

Dipper thought those words over, for all of about three seconds, before shrugging his shoulders. "Doesn't sound much differen't from the way people look at me now."

Clint and his younger self shared a laugh before he placed a hand on Dipper's shoulder. "Just understand that patience is key. There will probably be times when you think about giving up on this field altogether. I know it's hard when you're young, but it'll become more natural to you as you get older. Stay on the path you're on now, I think you'll do great things."

Dipper looked up at Clint, a glint of awe shinning in his eyes. He smirked somewhat shyly. "Thanks… It does feel good to hear that from someone I'm not related to…" Dipper blushed as he realized his mistake, causing Clint to laugh.

"Don't sweat it! We did just meet… Say, you want to take another shot at some calls?"

"I dunno… I'm not all that good at it…"

"All the more reason to get some practice in! Come on, give it a try! Loud enough that any shy cryptid that might be lurking around in these woods will hear you!"

After a bit more prodding, Clint finally convinced Dipper to let his best call rip… Which sounded like a dying bird begging to be put out of its misery. Embarrassed, Clint nudged him with his elbow before belting out a whoop of his own, one that to Dipper, more closely resembled the types of calls he'd hear on those TV shows. Dipper stared up at him, in awe of his older cousin yet again.

"Still nothing…" Clint commented as they were met by silence. Until the sound of two girls shrieking caught their attention. "Was that…"

"That was definitely Mabel!" Dipper huffed in a panic. "Let's go, they might be in trouble!"

Dipper and Clint took off in the direction they believed they heard the screams originate from, Dipper banging on what he presumed to be his malfunctioning radio. He couldn't get in touch with the girls, and that's all that mattered to him at the moment. The issue proved to be moot, as they bumped into a frantic out-of-breath Mabel about a minute later.

"Mabel, you're alright!" Dipper fussed, but of course noticed somebody was missing. "Wait, where's Wendy?!"

"She stayed behind to track the thing we found, while I went to find you guys! Now come on, she might need our help!"

"Hold on just a second Mabel! Wait kind of thing are you talking about?!"

"Uh, duh! The creature we drove up into the mountains to come looking for! You know, Bigfoot!"

Clint and Dipper looked towards each other in disbelief. Turning back to his sister, Dipper asked, "Are you positive?! You really saw Bigfoot?!"

"Yeah, unless there's some other tall hairy ape-man lurking around the woods at night! I shined my flashlight right in its face, and he looked just like the guy from all the beef jerky commercials! Now quit wasting time before Wendy loses sight of him!"

Wendy wasn't in the general area where Mabel had let her, but she hadn't wandered too far. The group found her, her flashlight aimed in the direction of a thick area of bush. "Wendy! Did you guys really…"

"Hush, Dip!" Wendy scolded him softly. "I don't want to spook 'em any more than we already have…"

"She's right Dipper… You three stand back for just a moment okay," Clint said, taking the lead. He readied his own flashlight and started moving towards the brush.

"What are you doing?!" Wendy asked in concern, but Dipper was quick to try and quell it.

"He knows what he's doing Wendy, so let's try to trust his judgment…"

"Excuse me!" Clint said as he approached. "Mr. Bigfoot? We know you're hiding in the bush, so you might as well come out and say hi. I promise none of us are going to hurt you." Clint was met by silence, but this did not deter him. He inched closer and closer until the creature apparently felt Clint was close enough that it let out a mighty roar. The younger three were taken aback, but Clint didn't appear rattled at all. "Impressive… I bet that howl probably scares most humans away… I'm not most humans though… And I don't believe I have any reason to be afraid of you… And you certainly don't have any reason to be afraid of us."

Clint was mere feet away from the cryptid now, and the creature wasn't happy about it. Not at all… The beast growled again, and turned to run, but apparently tripped over something as he tried to make his escape. He was sent tumbling down a steep hill that happened to be directly behind the area he'd chosen to hide… And started muttering sounds no one other than Clint had ever expected to hear Sasquatches make. "Shit!..." came a gravelly voice followed by some grunts and groans as the creature rolled down the hill. "God damn it!" the voice grumbled again as his body finally came to a stop at the bottom of the hill.

"What the…" Wendy droned, perplexed.

Mabel looked over at her brother and asked. "Umm… Is it my imagination, or did I just hear Bigfoot use the Lord's name in vain?"

Clint, to the dismay of the three younger teens, climbed down the hill towards the suspected Bigfoot. They were somewhere in between terrified at the idea of what this creature might do to them, and kind of curious as to what sort of cryptid beast knew how to curse like a sailor. What they remained completely unaware of, was that Clint knew exactly who he was dealing with… Now, if he could only remember how he handled this encounter the first time…

He began by shinning his flashlight on the creature… There were no trees or dense brush in this area for the creature to hide amongst, allowing Clint to take in the full scope of the creature. A large, hairy being standing a good foot-and-a-half taller than Clint's respectable six-foot frame. He appeared a bit frightened and nervous, but still ready to attack at a moment's notice if need be. "Easy now buddy… I promise we're not going to hurt you. Only curious to meet you…"

"That's a funny way to describe constantly hounding somebody," the creature growled, much to the surprise of the kids who had scaled down the hill and were now crowded together behind Clint's back. "Just stay away! I can rip your face off if I feel like it!"

"I'm sure you could, but I don't believe you really want to do that… Besides," Clint said, as he pointed his flashlight down and the monster's ankle. "I don't think you'll be able to do much damage to anyone with that bum leg…."

The creature growled like wounded cornered animals tended to do… There was no brush or dense foliage for him to disappear into. The nearest cover was at least 200 feet away, and with his injured leg, it was going to be difficult enough to hobble his way there, let alone make a run for it. He may just have to fight and defend himself if that's what it took to survive.

"I don't need two good legs to tare you in half boy! If you know what's good for ya, you'll just leave me the hell alone! I've had plenty of experience with humans, and not a single damn good thing has ever come of any of them! Now, you got your little peep at the big bad monster right? What else do you want from me?!"

"Right now, just to help you," Clint spoke softly, holding his arms at his chest, a natural sign of non-aggression. "I understand why people would make you nervous, but we're not like most humans. We didn't travel to these mountains to hunt you, I promise…"

"Who are you trying to kid here boy? You mean those howls and tree knockin' wasn't meant to draw me out? Like I'd fall for that lame-ass nonsense to begin with… You really expect me to believe you weren't out here at this time of night looking for me?"

"No, we were looking for you, but only to find you… To prove you exist. To bring your species the recognition, and hopefully, protection you rightfully deserve."

"Recognition?! So every yahoo and their cousin can show up on my doorstep with their shotguns? So I wind up on some science table to be cut open and studied, or a stuffed head on some hunter's wall? No thanks, I'd prefer it if the human race goes on believin' that I don't exist!"

"We honestly don't have any ill-intentions Mr. Sasquatch sir…" Dipper squeaked, popping up next to Clint. The creature grunted down at the boy, but for some reason appeared a bit less hostile to the smaller human. "It was my idea to look for you, to prove you exist, if for any reason just to prove I wasn't crazy for believing you were real. I promise, we have no ulterior motives other than that!"

"What part of what I'm sayin' are you kids not understanding?… I didn't want to be found! It was kind of the whole point of me making myself hard to track down in the first place!"

"Uh guys…" Wendy interrupted the conversation between man and potential missing link. "Problem! I think we have company…"

Sure enough, not far away, another group of Bigfoot hunters were making their way through the area… And not just any hunters, but the guys the group had run into back at their campsite. The group that had full intention of bagging a Sasquatch if the situation presented itself. Clint knew from previous experience that they were locked and loaded, and likely willing to shoot first and ask questions later.

"We gotta take cover and get him out of sight before those creeps notice him!"

The hairy biped looked incredulous. "Why should I trust you any more than I should trust them?"

"Because they have guns and made it more than clear to us that they're more than willing to shoot you with them. Now, could you please just let us help you, and then you can go back to distrusting us after we're clear of the armed yahoos?!"

He didn't look happy about it, but Bigfoot relented and allowed Clint and Wendy to help walk and half drag the injured Sasquatch to cover. The group ducked down low in the brush, more than adequate cover to stay hidden in the darkness unless somebody was trying really, really hard… Or were also sporting similar fancy equipment to them.

"Um, Clint… Won't they see us if they have one of these night-vision thingies too?" Mabel asked worriedly.

"I didn't notice that type of gear on them when we bumped into those guys earlier… They don't exactly strike me as professionals so hopefully, if we stay quiet, they won't notice us."

Clint's hunch turned out to be accurate. The amateur Bigfoot hunters didn't appear to be equipped with anything more advanced than their firearms, some industrial sized flashlights, and apparently a lot of beer since most of them sounded at least half-way to hammered. After twenty agonizing minutes of the drunken posse searching the area, they finally got bored and moseyed off on their way.

"I think the coast is clear guys," Clint announced as he cautiously stood up. The rest of the group followed his lead.

"Fantastic… Thanks I guess kids, but I'm getting my hairy ass out of here! Don't follow me!"

"We can't agree to that…" Clint declared sternly to the cryptid's annoyance. "You're still hurt, and that's going to leave you vulnerable to anything you run into that might be hostile."

"I feel vulnerable right now… And I'm going to be the one gettin' hostile if you humans don't leave me the hell alone!"

"Dude, chill out! Have we done anything to make you think we're not being honest with ya? If you let us help you get home, and we knew you were safe…"

"If you think I'm leadin' a bunch of humans back to my den, you're out of your freakin' minds!" The creature glared at the humans, and though the smaller two backed up a little bit, none of the four appeared overly intimidated… Or overly threatened for that matter. They'd made several good points… One being they'd done nothing to show him that they had any ill intentions towards him. It had just become second nature to him to distrust humans, as it saved his bacon on many occasions. More importantly though, they were correct about this leg. He was a sitting duck if he ran into those hunters on his own or wound up getting into a fist-fight with a bear… "Err… Fine! I'll let you tagalong with me to one of my backup hangouts… Just don't come lookin' for me there later, because I never plan on using the place again!"

Lugging a near eight-foot tall, 400-pound ape several miles into the teeth of a dense forest covered in pitch black darkness was not going to be an easy feat… Maybe even impossible, so it was a bit of a relief to Dipper and the others that their new Sasquatch acquaintance insisted he could walk on his own, that he'd survived far worse injuries. It made for a slow hike to wherever the hell it was they were going, but at least they weren't forced to drag a Bigfoot along in the process. The long walk gave the group an opportunity for some small talk… Which the Bigfoot was resistant to at first, but boredom eventually dulled some of his grumpiness.

"So, Mr. Sasquatch, have you always lived in these mountains?" Mabel asked innocently.

"Eck, can it with the Sasquatch stuff will ya? My name is Bruce, not that any of you bothered to ask…"

"Bruce!" Wendy, Dipper, and Mabel said in unison, while Clint quietly sighed in relief. It hadn't exactly been easy, avoiding letting the name of the creature he'd met five years prior slip passed his lips before the big guy introduced himself.

"What's wrong with Bruce?!" the Sasquatch grumbled in annoyance. "Didn't you have some kind of old lady name like Mabel or something like that?"

"Mabel… Is not an old lady name!"

"Yeah it is. And your obsession with knitting doesn't exactly help your case… Ouch!" Dipper yelped as his sister socked him on the arm.

"Anyway… To answer your question, no, I've never had one permanent home… Because guys like you can't stop sticking their noses in my business, they get too close, forcing me to keep on the move. I've been through this area a few times, but then, I've been all up and down these mountains… As well as the ones I think you humans call the Rockies… Real creative by the way!"

"So you're migratory then," Dipper noted with interest. "Do you always travel alone, or do you link up with other members of your species from time to time?"

It was hard to tell in the darkness, but a somber look fell over Bruce's face. "Kid… I ain't seen another of my kind in at least twenty years… For all I know, I'm the only one left.."

"Dude… That sucks…" Wendy said, while the twins both looked sympathetic. "You're really all that's left?"

"As far as I know… And I'm not exactly young either… I'm determined that I got a few more good years in me, but nothing lives forever…"

"All the more reason you need to be protected!" Clint declared, having been oddly silent throughout much of their conversation. "You shouldn't be forced to crisscross the American West just to avoid detection…"

"Worked for me just fine over the years thank you… I can count the times I've had a close encounter with humans, like I did with you, on one hand… Which is convenient since five is about as high as I can count… You humans and your numbers…"

Wendy eyed the big fella curiously. "Makes sense… But how do you know how to speak our language? Especially without a lot of contact with humans?"

"Why shouldn't I?" Bruce asked back bluntly.

Mabel looked over at Dipper who just shrugged his shoulders. "The Gnomes and the Manotaurs all speak in perfect English… Why not Bigfoot?"

Clint, walking slightly ahead of the rest of the group, smirked as he listened to their banter. So far, everything was happening as it should, just as he remembered it… Which meant they had another thirty minutes of hiking in front of them before they reached their destination. Which also meant the biggest challenge Clint had to face still lied in front of him… That challenge wasn't going to come from Bigfoot or hunters, however. It would come in the form of his own Great-Uncle Stanford.

Earlier that day at the Mystery Shack, Stanley was ready to go home and currently a little perturbed with his brother for keeping that from happening. Having locked himself away in that basement lab, it was getting late, and Stan decided it was high time he reminded Stanford that he no longer lived here. Descending into the lowest level of the building, Stan unsurprisingly found his brother fussing over one of his many high-tech fancy doohickies.

"Hey Pointdexter, it's time for us to split! Soos and Melody are gracious hosts, but even they gotta…" Stan paused as he noticed what Ford was musing over, an image on one of his computer screens. "What the heck is that?"

"What? Oh this data? It's the results from a DNA analyzer I acquired from an associate of mine… The less you know about the nature of that relationship is probably for the better."

"Had no intention to ask or desire to know… Why the heck would you be needin' to use that DNA thingy all of the sudden?"

"To hopefully confirm or debunk the identity of our visiting 'relative' from back east, via the water bottle he left behind… I have my suspicions he's not who he claims to be."

"Why's that? He seemed pretty on the level to me, and if anybody can spot a phony from a mile away it's me!"

"Simple… I haven't exactly been able to keep up with our family back on the East Coast, but I know Gloria only had two children… Both females currently in their forties. Our little visitor was savvy enough to learn the names of our actual relatives, but not enough to ensure he was fibbing his way into the right part of the family."

"I dunno… You sure about that? You did take a long vacation from this dimension. Maybe ole Gloria did have another kid while you were gone."

Stanford nodded his head. "A possibility… It's a shame we lost touch so long ago, I could just look her up and ask Gloria directly if she has a son named Clint. Either way, by morning I should have the full results, and we'll find out if this young man is who he claims to be."

"I thought those tests were supposed to take, like weeks for something?"

"Not the one I have," Ford smiled proudly. "Just don't let the kids anywhere near him until we know for sure. No need to take any unnecessary risks."

"Uhh…" Stan croaked, looking around as if hoping the lab had a backdoor he was previously unaware of. "Well, umm… It might be a little bit, way too late for that… He kind of took the twins with him to the mountains to investigate that Bigfoot bunk Dipper kept yammerin' about."

"What?! You let the kids go off with a complete stranger into the wilderness?! How could be so reckless?!"

"I didn't think anything of it at the time… I thought the kid was family! And he still might be for all you know! The Twins wanted to go, and he offered, so I didn't see any big deal with it. I figured it was fine with you too, since you let Dipper borrow those goggle thingies of yours."

Stanford groaned at this brother's carelessness, only for his eyes to shoot wide open when he realized the opportunity that little nugget of information provided him. "I wasn't aware Dipper borrowed them, but the night-vision goggles… That should make tracking them down elementary. Come Stanley, we don't have any time to waste."

"Goin' after 'em huh? All right, I'll get the car ready. How are we gona find them though? They can be anywhere in those mountains!"

"The goggles Stanley… I've implanted tracking devices in most of my more valuable equipment just in case they were ever stolen. Unless the Twins dropped them in the woods somewhere, the signal should lead us right to them. Now, let's not waste any more time! I do hope I'm wrong about Clint, but with the kid's safety at stake, that's a wager I'm just not willing to take!"

It was nearly dawn by the time Dipper and the gang reached the location Bruce referred to as his 'hideout'. Which wasn't a cave or a burrow as Dipper had always hypothesized, but an old beat-up cabin deep within the mountain forest. The kids were concerned at first, fearing somebody might be home, but Bruce assured them the location was safe.

"Trust me, I wouldn't be caught anywhere near here if it weren't safe… This cabin has been abandoned for ages. How do you think I've managed to stay undetected for so long? I go where you humans aren't looking for me… I avoid your so-called 'hotspots' where you all think I should be, and settle for what I can get… Sometimes its places like this, abandoned ranger's station, an abandoned trailer or those weird shaped houses on wheels I think you humans call RV's… Sure as hell not goin' to hide out in some cave, that'll always be the first-place you people look…"

"That makes sense when I think about it," Clint said, having always been impressed by Bruce's craftiness. "Pretty much everyone who does research Bigfoot believes you'd behave more like a wild animal. I don't think any of them would've dreamed they'd be hunting down a creature that thinks and reacts much more like a human than we ever dared believe."

"Ha! You wish you thought like me… If you did, somebody would've tracked me down ages ago… At least more than the fleeting glimpses a handful of you humans have gotten… Still can't believe I got exposed by a buncha kids though. I blame old age…"

Bruce pseudo invited the kids inside, and all four were immediately able to confirm the old place was indeed abandoned. The old cabin was covered in dust, and sunlight began to poke through several holes in the roof. While the kids looked around, Bruce limped over to a couch that had seen much better days. Rather than plopping down on his butt though, Bruce lifted up the carpet next to it, revealing a latched door that appeared very much like the entrance to a cellar. Dipper joked to himself that he wouldn't be shocked if they found a tape recorder and the Necronomicon down below. It turned out not to be the entrance to a lower level of the cabin, but rather a small compartment in the floor where Bruce had apparently been hiding… A six pack of beer, and a small rectangular box. Leaving the latch open, Bruce finally sat his weary bones down and opened the box, which turned out to be full of cigars and a book of matches. Bruce stuck one in his mouth, and quickly lit up, taking a large satisfying puff before throwing his head back and sighing contently.

"Now that's the stuff…" Bruce popped open one of his beers and took a long swig, only stopping when he noticed the flabbergasted looks on the faces of his guests. "Oh sorry… Did you guys need a drink?"

"Um, no thanks… We're all technically underage," Clint said incredulously, the entire scene looking a bit too surreal for his younger companions to speak. Bruce was basically a wifebeater and a T.V. diner away from looking exactly like everyone in the world's deadbeat uncle. Or in the case of Pines', great-uncle.

"Alright then, suite yourselves," he shrugged before downing the rest of his beer.

Mabel held back a chuckle as she watched Bruce puff on his cigar, her head tilted towards her brother standing next to her. "So Broseph… Is meeting Bigfoot everything you ever imagined?"

"Why wouldn't it be? Who hasn't pictured the world's most elusive cryptid pounding back brews and puffing on moldy cigars?… I'm absolutely ecstatic!"

Clint smirked at his younger self's clear display of frustrated disappointment. He knew he'd get over it soon enough. "Man, you can really smell the mold and mildew… Dust doesn't exactly agree with me either. I'm going to step outside for a minute guys. Watch where your step though, the wood looks weak in places, and I'd think twice before I sat on any of the furniture. Be back in a minute!"

"Is it just me, or did he seem to be in a hurry to get out of here?" Mabel commented, and Wendy agreed.

"I'll go check on him and make sure everything's cool. You guys keep an eye on our new friend here. Now's your chance for the interview of a lifetime Dip!"

"Well yeah, but…" Dipper started to argue, but Wendy had already blown by him, and was out the door in pursuit of his cousin. Dipper grumbled in annoyance, knowing full well she just wanted an excuse to be alone with Clint. She was right though. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity… His eagerness for which was only slightly dampened by the sight of the hairy biped with a stogie in his mouth. No, he could deal with this. Hand to God though, if he found out Bruce had a meth lab set up in the bedroom, he was out.

Clint hadn't wandered far…. He found a tree stump and sat to wait… No particular reason other than, if his memory served him correctly, his Grunkles should be arriving shorty in that Jeep Stanford rented to better traverse the mountain terrain. Also, as he expected, a certain redhead had decided to follow him outside and join him.

"Need some company?" Wendy asked cheerfully, already in the process of sitting down before Clint even had the chance to give her the go ahead. It wasn't a large stump either, so her general proximity to his person was a bit too close for comfort. This might've been a younger version of the Wendy he knew now, but it was still Wendy. He needed to be careful… If that stump were any smaller, she'd be sitting in his lap.

"I'm not against the idea… Shouldn't you be inside with your friends resting up? It's been a long night."

"Nah, I feel fine. And I'd be lying if I said that ranky old place didn't kind of give me the creeps."

"But you left your friends inside alone… With a creature that's shown hints of being hostile towards humans. I'd think you'd be more worried about their safety than whether I needed company while I brood my situation."

Wendy paused, looking back at the cabin for a second worriedly, clearly having taken some heed in what Clint was telling her. "I'm sure they'll be fine… Bruce seems the embodiment of all bark and no bite… Besides, I'll be right here if he gets out-of-line with the Twins, and then he'll have a lot more than just a bad knee to worry about…"

"Protective of your friends… I like that," Clint complimented, but immediately regretted it as he blushed hard at the appreciative smile on Wendy's face. He knew she noticed it too, and that was only going to embolden her future flirtations. He really needed to be careful here. The last thing he wanted to do was lead Wendy on… And unlike the events of most of that weekend, he had no clue how this conversation played out… He was inside chatting with Bruce until the Stan's arrived on the scene to take them home.

After a prolonged silence that Clint deliberately tried to make feel awkward, Wendy finally tried to break the ice. "So, some evening huh? When you decided to make your trip up into the mountains, did you really believe you were actually going to discover Bigfoot?"

"I believe I'm going to find Bigfoot every time I set out to look for one… And somehow I'm still shocked we bumbled our way into meeting one. He's not what I expected at all…"

"I know right! When I hear people talkin' about Bigfoots being human-like, I didn't think they meant that literally! Give 'em an axe and dye his hair red, and I'd almost swear I was lookin' at my dad in there!" Clint let out a laugh much to Wendy's appreciation. "So… Does this discovery mean you'll be hangin' around Oregon for a while?"

"Afraid not… I'll still need to be headed back to the East Coast in a few days. Besides, there isn't much else to do here. Bruce wants to be left alone, and I plan on respecting his wishes. As far as I'm concerned, we spent an uneventful weekend in the woods. I'm sure Dipper and Stanford will agree with me, so I'll trust those details to them."

"Oh," the disappointment in her voice was evident. The normally confident and strong-willed young woman didn't appear relatively in character at that moment. She seemed apprehensive. Almost shy even as she clumsily asked. "Well, since you still have a couple of days… Maybe before you go, me and you could… I don't know…"

Dipper knew next to squat about girls, but even he could sense what was coming. If this was his version of Wendy, his heart might be doing cartwheels right at that moment, but in this situation, the very idea simply terrified him. He needed to squash it immediately. "Stop right there Wendy… I'm flattered and all but… You realize I'm too old for you right?"

"What?! Th.. Th.. That wasn't what I was going to ask at all! I was just going to ask if you wanted to hang out or something, get over yourself!" Blushing furiously, while looking and sounding none to convincing, Wendy crossed her arms and looked away stubbornly… And quite clearly pouting just a bit, before immediately contradicting herself. "And our age difference isn't that bad you know?!"

"It's enough that I wouldn't feel comfortable," Clint laughed, as he lightly placed his hand on her shoulder. "No need to be embarrassed. It was worth a shot right?"

Wendy groaned, and buried her face in her hands. "If Dipper felt this stupid and humiliated when I rejected him, I owe that boy more of an apology then I thought…"

"He doesn't strike me as the kind of kid who'd need an apology for that." Clint answered from firsthand experience. Wendy had let him down as gently as someone caught in her position possibly could. As far as he was concerned, she owed him absolutely nothing.

"You're probably right, but it would make me feel better…" Regaining her composure quickly, Wendy looked up at Clint and asked. "So… You ever plan on coming back this way again?"

"It's possible," he answered vaguely. "Why?"

"Well… If in a couple of years you decide to pay Gravity Falls another visit, you know, when the age difference isn't such a big deal, why don't you look me up? Who knows, the full-grown me might just knock your socks off!"

That was an understatement. Clint had been around Wendy at age 18, and the experience never failed to send him in search of his socks. He smiled coyly, deciding it wouldn't hurt to play Wendy's game just a little bit… On his own terms of course. "You're seriously going to wait around on me for the next two years hoping I actually show up?"

"Eh… Probably not," Wendy admitted honestly. "But you never know right?!"

"Right…Tell you what… I just might do that, but I need you to do something for me in return… By practicing what you preach."

"What do you mean?" Wendy asked, legit confused.

Clint leaned in close and whispered into her ear just in case there was anyone nearby that might be ease dropping. "I think the kid inside that cabin has a little thing for you… So when he gets a little older, why not try taking your own advice?"

"Dipper?" Wendy appeared flabbergasted. "I mean, I know he likes me, but I'm way too old for him! That would just be too weird."

"He's no younger than you, than you're younger than me," Clint partially lied. He was currently only two years older than Wendy but could easily pass for more. "You never know, he could grow up to be just like me."

Wendy had a small laugh at this. "Ah, come on man! Dip is cool and all, but he isn't you!"

Clint simply shrugged his shoulders. "You might be surprised… Maybe we should head back inside now and check on…"

Before he could finish that sentence, he was interrupted by the honking of a horn. A Jeep was pulling up to the cabin. Clint and Wendy were on guard at first until they recognized a pair of familiar grizzled faces inside. One in particular that didn't look very happy. The jeep was still somewhat in motion, when Ford Pines jumped out of the jeep and marched straight over to Clint. "There you are! You've got a lot to answer for young man! Where are the children?!"

"Clam down already, would you Pointdexter!" Stan grumbled as he slowly wobbled his way up towards his brother. "Wendy is right here with him, so obviously he hasn't done nothing unspeakable to Dipper or Mabel, if she hasn't put an axe between his eyes over it yet."

"Sounds about right," Wendy bragged, while Clint was too nervous at facing down the angry Stanford to appreciate her mirth.

"They're in the cabin Dr. Pines… With a new friend of ours I think you'll be interested in meeting."

"In due time… But first we need to have a serious chat. Stan, Wendy… Would you please retrieve the Twins so we can leave as soon as possible?"

"What's the trouble Dr. Pines?" Wendy asked, shooting a concerned glance over to Clint. Stan gently pulled her away with a tug at her shoulder.

"I'll explain inside kid. The sooner we let Ford have his hissy fit, the sooner we get to go home!"

Ford waited until Wendy and Stan were inside the cabin, never turning his stern gaze away from Clint as he commanded. "Follow me, this way please."

"Sure thing…" Clint gulped nervously. He stopped when Ford did a few feet away, placing his backpack down at his feet, unaware that the zipper was slightly undone… "So, how did you find us?"

"Tracers in the night-vision googles. I love my brother, but valuable tech tends to disappear from the lab now and then, so it just makes sense to keep tabs on my more sensitive equipment… Now, may I ask why you thought it would be a good idea to take three kids you barely know into the mountains in search of a potentially dangerous beast? I doubt someone of your relative inexperience would be capable of managing such an encounter."

"You… Might be in for a surprise on that front… To answer your question though, I was headed this way anyway, Dipper really wanted to go, and I felt bad or him… So I decided hey, what not offer to take my cousins…"

"Stop right there! If you're going to insist on lying to me, you'll need to invent some better ones. I know you're not our cousin Clint… Gloria has no sons. I know this for a fact. You dug deep enough into our family history to get some of the names right, but not deep enough to conceal your deception."

Clint winced, having feared something like this might happen. Ford was far too intelligent not to pick up on such an obvious discrepancy, and to be perfectly honest, Clint hadn't done all that much research into their family background. He was kind of forced to do all this on the fly. "It's not what you think Dr. Pines… If you just let me…"

Clint took a step forward, and in doing so, accidently kicked over his backpack. From the small opening at the side, a tubular crystal with pointed tips rolled out from inside. Recognizing the object instantly, Ford snatched it up and advanced on Clint menacingly. "How did you get this?! You stole it from my lab didn't you?! Was this your endgame? Who are you?! What are you not telling me?!"

"Calm down, please sir! I can explain… I didn't steal that crystal from your lab, I already had it one me…"

"Impossible! These crystals don't appear naturally on Earth! To possess one of these you'd have to be from…"

"Andorra," Clint interjected, stunning Ford into silence at the name of that very familiar dimension. "That's where I came from, Andorra…"

"Impossible… But how? The only way you could've…"

Clint responded by gently removing one of the idols from his pack and showing it to Ford. He then dug deeper and pulled out a familiar looking journal, presenting it to its rightful owner. "I believe this belongs to you… This journal is what led me here to you after all…"

"My book… The idols… But if you're here that means… You cracked my ciphers and found all the idols…"

"That's how I found you too… You probably shouldn't have hidden your name and address in that book, whether encrypted or not."

"Fascinating," Ford marveled, now feeling much more curious and impressed by this young man than angry. "You must possess a remarkable mind to be capable of unlocking the secrets of that journal… I tried to make it nearly impossible to decipher, with good reason…"

"It damn near was impossible… It took me years to solve some of those puzzles… Luckily, I made a friend who was very familiar with the local terrain, so he helped out a lot when it came to finding some of these locations… You really didn't want those totems found."

"No, I certainly did not. Well, I understand now how you arrived here, what still escapes me though is why? Why track me down and pretend to be family? Why drag my niece and nephew into this?"

"Well… I was hoping by extending an act of kindness towards your nephew, you might be willing to help me out with an unorthodox request… You see, I have no idea how you wound up in Andorra, but I don't think either one of us has time to regale each other with long backstories. For me though, let's just say there was an accident, and I found myself lost in a dimension that wasn't my own. When I used your journal to help me find the totems, I thought they would be my ticket home, but something went wrong… They sent me here instead of my own home. Maybe it was dumb luck, maybe it was fate, I don't know, but I practically found myself at the doorstep of the man who gave me hope I might be able to find my way home after all."

"I see… And what exactly is it you planned to request of me?"

Clint picked up his bag and slowly pulled out another of the alien crystals. "Those totems are still my only way home… I still have five that are fully intact, but I need seven… I was hoping that maybe you'd have brought some of these crystals home with you when you found your way back from Andorra… And that I'd be able to borrow a couple of them so I can finally go home…"

"It is quite possible I may have… But before I confirm or deny that information, there's something I need to inquire of you."

"Sure.." Clint gulped, his confidence wavering under this Grunkle's scrutiny. "Ask away…."

"Discerning from the way you speak, it suggests your home dimension isn't Earth, or at least that's what you want me to believe… You sure seem to know your way around this dimension either way. You were able to locate me, navigate these mountains, and you were even familiar with our legend of Bigfoot… Like you've been here before. Which would make three dimension you've traversed at the very least. Interdimensional travel isn't something to be taken lightly young man. I would like to know how you found yourself in this predicament."

Clint paused, before staring Ford dead in the eyes, trying to look as emotionless as possible. "Would telling you you'd be better off not knowing be a suitable answer?"

"I suppose it's possible… But it will go a long way in determining whether or not I decide to help you. I'll have to think it over… For now, take me to the children so I can be certain no harm has come to them."

"No problem… Just brace yourself because you might be in for a big surprise when you see them inside the cabin… They made a new friend during our little outing."

"New friend?" Ford's brow furrowed, doubting he was going to like what he was about to see.

He was wrong. That surprise turned out to be one of the biggest shocks of his life as he came to face-to-face with the living hairy embodiment of the creature that inspired most dreamers and whack-jobs alike to believe there were still things out there in this world that human beings and all their science had yet to explain. He was a bit taken aback by the creatures perfect, if not somewhat gruff grasp of the English language, the fact that he belched before introducing himself, and the initial hostility he received out of the creature's annoyance that, yet another human knew of his existence. The Sasquatch quickly softened once he realized Stanford was the most capable of this little group to actually help him which led to a conversation, which led to Ford pulling a total Dipper with his enthusiastic questioning. Or was it Dipper pulling a Ford when he did it? It was getting hard to tell.

"After you've given your knee a few days to heal, I can sneak you over the state line into Washington. I know of a nature preserve where hunting is strictly prohibited, and the terrain a bit too treacherous for poachers to even dare try. You should be safe there as long as you choose to stay."

Reluctant to accept help, Bruce was beginning to understand that these people weren't going to take no for an answer. And that he probably did actually need the help. "That doesn't sound so bad I guess… It would probably be safe for me to chill here for a couple days until I'm healed up."

"Nonsense, you should come stay with us at the Mystery Shack!" Mabel suggested to everyone else's shock and some horror. "Too many people are in these woods are looking for you already. Somebody's going to find this cabin eventually."

"Me? Hide out with humans? Appreciate the thought kiddo, but I can't risk exposing myself to being discovered by anymore of you. Six humans are already too much."

"Mabel might actually have a point," Dipper admitted to everyone else's shock. "The Mystery Shack is full of differen't kinds of creatures and oddities, and pretty much everyone that visits know it's all fake. If anyone did see Bruce, odds are they'll think you're just a guy in a monkey suite."

"There is some logic to that," Ford agreed. "Hiding in plain sight is sometimes a viable option."

"I'm sure Soos would welcome you with open arms come to think of it!" Stan added, attempting to put his arm around Bruce's massive shoulders much to his annoyance. "At least if he learned anything from me will. Like all of the dough we could rake in with a living breathing Sasquatch on exhibit!"

"Forget it!" Bruce growled, as he swatted Stan's arm away. "I've already told these guys, I'm not going to be put on display for humans to gawk at me!"

"And you need not worry about that," Ford assured him as he shot Stanley an annoyed look that earned a bit of a pout from his brother. "Soos is an honorable man who'll keep you far away from prying eyes if that's what you desire. I'm afraid my brother can't see much further than his wallet at times."

"You all haven't exactly made me feel like I have a say in the situation… Fine then, I'll hide out at this shack of yours just as long as my visit is kept an absolute secret. If I wind up locked in a cage, or strapped to an operating table, I'm going to be extremely pissed."

"Nothing of the sort will occur, you have our word. We shouldn't have much trouble concealing you in Stanley's car, but the Jeep, well… That's a more complicated matter."

"Um, there is one other tiny problem," Wendy piped up. "I'm all for helping the big guy out, but we're miles away from our camp, which is another mile away from my car, and we're already exhausted from the trip up to this cabin. How are we supposed to get back? I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I don't think I can even navigate my way back to the campsite from here."

"Did one of you happen to leave your night-vision goggles behind?" Ford stated more than asked.

Everyone in the room, sans Bruce, all looked towards Mabel. She tried to look offended at first before quickly giving up and admitting, "Alright, so I may have dropped my googles somewhere near our camp, but in my defense, things had gotten really crazy and…"

"No worries Mabel. We can use the tracer I planted on that set of goggles to backtrack to your campsite. It's the way we tracked you to this cabin, and with the Jeep we should get there in no time."

"Sounds great, but how are we all going to fit in that thing?" Dipper asked, fearing he knew the answer

And he was right. It involved the seven of them all cramming into that little jeep, and a very bumpy ride back to where this adventure had started. Clint and Wendy hung off the side of the jeep for dear life, Bruce engulfing most of the back seat, covered up with an old sheet they'd found in the cabin. Dipper and Mabel crammed themselves inside where they could find some room. Getting back to the shack was a much easier affair, aside from Stan's annoyance that he'd be vacuuming Sasquatch hair out of the back of the El Diablo when they finally got home.

End Chapter 2:

Case File CF002: King of the Cryptids-Officially Closed. The status of the cryptid creature commonly known as Sasquatch/Bigfoot existence is confirmed, with at least one known living individual. The creatures similarities to humans are even greater then we ever dared imagine, possessing human-level intelligent, unexpected language skills, and a disturbing affinity for human vices. The status of this creatures existence will remain confidential in accordance with the individuals wishes, and for the individuals protection due to his species assumed critically endangered status.