A Military Return
A/N: This kind of made me sad to write. Poor Stark Family
Authors note: Oh my frickity frack frick frack I am soooo sorry this is soooo late. I had planned this to come out like week after the first chapter and now its been- I don't even know. I feel terrible. I told myself at the beginning "this story still be different" and "I'll have it done quicker than last time." And I didn't listen to myself. I have no excuse, really I don't except its now 10:40pm I have to wake up at 6am tomorrow and I am sitting down to finish this. My not-excuse is that I was on spring break, high school and crap, and then the wholeeee plan changed so now I'm in person every day from 9-4 and my school is an hour away so its more like 7:40-5:15 and it sucks cause then I gotta do my homework but now I am comfortable with the schedule and believe I can finish this masterpiece. Anyway onwards and if you read this very unnecessarily long authors note thank you and g-d bless.
Month one.. Even Dead I'm The Hero
The first month was really hard, as the search for Tony's body continued on. The search party, as it was dubbed, was ruthless, looking in every nook and cranny. As the weeks drew on and the rubble started being moved away with still no body, it was easy to start to feel helpless. Between Pepper in her rescue suit, Rhodey in his iron patriot, and Peter who had to fight Pepper to even be here. (Metaphorically of course, because he can't take Pepper hand to hand).
When the group first saw the remains, of the leftover building, it hurt them all. It was all huge chunks of concrete groaning with every step any of them took. They were full of anxiety all of them just hoping that maybe Tony would be breathing some where under all this. Their efforts were in vain.
It was at the end of the first month when Fury had to call it.
"It's supposed to be 7 years Fury," It was Pepper's angry voice. Peter inched around the corner. He'd been researching, seriously thinking about hacking his dads tech. It wasn't like he couldn't but every time he was going to he heard his dad's voice in his ear.
"What's going on," Peter said, his eyes were red and puffy worry etched into his features. Pepper walked up to him pulling him into a comforting hug.
"Tony has been missing for a month. As written by the government, if an Avenger is missing for a month or more he or she is to be declared dead," fury said matter of factly The boys eyes were wide as sauces.
He looked flabbergasted at Pepper who needed scowled at Fury yet nodded all the same. "Your dad knew what he was getting himself into when he signed up for this."
Peter shook his head, denial, the first stage of grief. No. Tony wasn't dead, this isn't grief. A voice told him, and Peter whole heartedly believed it. He wouldn't give up hope, if it was Peter missing, Tony wouldn't give up. Tony wouldn't ever give up.
On that day Peter vowed he would get his dad back, even if it was the last thing he did…
Month 2… "I Miss You Daddy"
Another month started, another month without Tony had just gone by. Peter stared at his computer, the news articles upon News articles stating that Tony was dead. It felt like a knife in his chest being pushed and moved around inside. It felt like a fire stick being pressed into his heart. It felt like- like- like the entire world was trying to kill him.
He held his head in his hands, pulling at the curly tangles. Pepper was grieving too, and Peter knew that, they'd stuck together through this week of announcing the news, but Peter felt his resolve slowly cracking, his calm façade slowly fading. It wasn't long now before he snapped.
The computer was still open and he caught an video message notification at the bottom of the page. It was from Tony? With shaky hands Peter opened it.
His dad's face appeared on the screen, it looked sad, guilty. He was sitting in his lab looking in perfect condition and Peter would've thought his dad really was there, if he had missed the date at the bottom of the corner. December 29th, 2001. The day after his birthday…
"Peter," His dads voice made his eyes shoot to the computer once more.
"Dad…" Tears gathered in his eyes blurring his vision as he stared at the face of his father.
"If you're watching this, I'm either 6 feet under or… MIA. Fury made us all sign something that made us dead if we weren't found in a month for the security of people, and to give people closure. And in case the Avenger was found by the wrong group of people. The avengers are still looking, I know it." Peter sighed, they were scattered around the globe after the death of their friend grieving.
"I just wanted to tell you how much I love you." Tony chuckled, "I've only known you for a few hours and I would move the world for you kid. I- My dad he wasn't dad of the year or anything and I just- I just want to break the chain."
The was pain in his voice. Tears were coming down, ugly sobs wracking Peter's body. He needed his dad, his dad who would console him when he was having nightmares. Who gathered him in a hug after Peter watched Tony fly into the worm hole on TV. He needed the love that radiated off of him.
"I love you too." Peter said through his sobs, hand resting on the computer screen. "I'll find you."
"I never wanted to disappoint you." Tony began again but Peter shut off the computer, he couldn't- not so soon after.
In the room away Pepper was looking at a stick. A pregnancy stick. Sobbing in front of the mirror.
Month 3… A Piece of Me
The third month without Tony was, it was worse. Pepper and Peter got into a fight over little things almost every day. There was so much tension in the tower, so much loss and pain and memories. It was during their fight on the 10th day that Pepper told him something unimaginable.
"Peter," She yelled commanding with tears in her eyes. Peter hated seeing his mother like this, but he just- Tony would be mad at him and instead of yelling again he sat his mom on the couch.
"I'm sorry, mom" Peter said softly. He knew he'd messed up but it just hurt so much.
"Peter," She said again softly this time. Tears slipping down her pale cheeks. "I'm pregnant."
Said boy gasped. His heart panging with hurt and pain. A sibling. His mind flashed back to three months before the incident.
"Peter," Tony said suddenly. They were working in the lab, just the two of them. It was on Tony's iron man suit, this was a rare occasion that he would get to work on one.
"yeah dad," Peter responded eyes glistening with curiosity. Tony smiled, it was small but it made he was practically glowing.
"I think Pepper and I are going to try for a baby," He said it unsurely glancing at peter and gauging his reaction. Peter beamed.
"That would be awesome! Imagine everything we could do…" tony just watched as his son rambled about having a little sibling and Tony couldn't have felt luckier. How did I end up with such a great son? He though to himself. As his son made exaggerated hand motions.
"Tony's last gift," Peter said softly a tear escaping down his face.
"What?"
"Dad and I talked about this a few months before" Peter explained, "Its what he left behind for us."
Pepper nodded gathering his son in her arms. "Tony's last gift," she echoed.
Month 4… An Understanding
Peter started school 3 weeks ago, a week after the pregnancy news. The news of Peter's birth had been released to the pubic, but threats shut down any further investigations. His classmates knew, but at the same time it had kind of just become normal.
It was a super hard time. He missed his dad more than he ever thought possible, those months without him during the Afghanistan incident were torture and now it was only worse. They had surpassed what Peter never thought they'd do again.
"Peter," Pepper lightly tapped on his door. Immediately he pushed back his tears that had been falling moments before and wiped his face with his hand before answering.
"come on in mom!" He mustered his cheerfullest voice just for her. Peter could hear her late night cries from his room. Her eyes were tired, as they often were and he eyed her slowly growing baby bump. "Is something wrong?"
"No, I just, I think we need to talk," She said seriously. Here it is, Peter thought, The dead talk. It happened when Aunt May and Uncle ben passed. Uncle Ben was Pepper's older brother and Aunt May was his wife. When they died it was just like this. But Tony wasn't dead. He wasn't, Peter could feel it.
"About what?" Peter said pulling his innocent eyes out. Perhaps if he made Pepper feel bad about this whole being dead thing she would let it go. Besides no one really knew if the infamous billionaire really was dead. There was no body.
Pepper gave Peter a look. A look that said I know what you're doing. Peter huffed his tears dissolving and his sadness turning into more of an annoyance.
"We need to set up a funeral." That was… not what he was expecting her to say.
"What!" It shot out of his mouth before he even realized what he was saying. Tony. Wasn't. Dead. He knew it, Peter could feel it in his core. "He's not dead."
"Peter…" Her eyes looked even tired now, her voice more exasperated than loving. The baby thing was taking a toll on her, and Peter knew he was misplacing his anger, but after a month of tip toeing around each other they had to- he had to.-
"Don't peter me!" said boy practically yelled, "You can't waltz in here and just say my dad is dead. You aren't even my real mom." Pepper gasped. It was small and heart broken and Peter regretted it instantly but Pepper had just accused Peter's dad of being dead. "You have a baby with him! Its barely been 4 months and you're already giving up?"
"Its giving up Peter it's-" She started, her voice small before Peter's angry one finished her sentence.
"Its What Pepper" Peter's harsh glare were glued on her eyes, she almost shrank down. Pepper, who used to be Tony's badass boss, the only one who could ever keep him in line besides Rhodey.
"It's complicated" Pepper sighed. Peter just shook his head.
"its not that complicated, Tony isn't dead until we find the body and the bastards that killed him." Peter said matter-of-factly. His voice was breaking and a large lump was building in his throat but he couldn't break down, not in the middle of his ultimatum.
Pepper didn't say anything her – now- short red hair falling in a mess down her face.
"You should leave" peter said quietly. Flopping on his bed. It wasn't until the door closed that he let the tears fall. On the other side, Pepper had her own tears falling. A loss of who she used to be, a year ago she wouldn't have given up so easily. Tony was her other half and this pain of not knowing was killing her. If she had a funeral she could have closure, but Peter came first before her and closure wasn't what the boy needed. Although, the words hurt. She saw Peter as a son but perhaps that's not how he saw her.
Peter woke up the next morning groggy his mind was a haze. He couldn't remember really falling asleep, or trying to for that matter. He thought back to the night before, Pepper. His eyes widened his mind pulling itself out of the haze.
"You're not even my real mom"
"Real mom" echoed in his head.
He was a jerk. Tony would be furious he spoke to his wife like that. Probably grounded on the spot. He needed- he needed-. His breaths came in pants. Tony wasn't here. Pepper wanted a funeral and oh g-d this can't be happening!
"It seems you need some assistance, alerting nearest personnel" F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice came from the speakers. Usually Friday sounded how to say it- a bit less robotic, only like this to sound more serious for lack of better term.
Of course it was his mom who came rushing in pulling him into her arms despite the obvious discomfort the position brought her.
"I'm sorry mom. I love you so much" Peter said through his cries. Pepper rested her chin his head in a soft gesture.
"I know," she said softly rubbing his back soothingly, "I love you too."
Month 5… A Surprise Guest
Peter and Pepper had worked out their differences. Every time they argued they stopped and spoke about it rather than yelling. It helped. A lot actually. They began to understand each other on a different level. Without Tony they had to now confide in each other.
It was this month that they got a surprise guest. It was Natasha aka the black widow who arrived.
"No! not again!" Peter whined as Pepper laughed. Her hand resting delicately on her slightly larger stomach. It wasn't too big but noticeable through clothing. Pepper barely left the area, they wanted to keep the pregnancy away from the public. Peter had challenged Pepper to a monopoly game seemingly forgetting that she was the boss of the biggest company in the world. Tony's words not his.
"I win" She said proudly admiring her 4 hotels. Peter went bankrupt especially because Pepper landed on free parking every time and there was like 5000 dollars in there.
The doorbell rang startling Pepper out of her gloating.
"I'll get it" Peter jumped up mumbling under his breath, "Saved by the bell"
"I'll get you later" Pepper called after him, Peter smirked. He hopped onto the elevator riding down the bottom floor. When he opened the door he saw Natasha standing there in the rain a ball cap covering her face and rain jacket wrapped tightly around herself. "Nat? What are you doing here?"
"Think we can skip the pleasantries?" Natasha gritted her teeth, "Kind of cold out here"
Peter's eyes widened, "Of course sorry." Natasha just gave him an amused smile but walked in anyways.
"do you have a towel?" She asked next her red hair dripping onto the floor beneath their feet. Peter winced at his bad manners but got one from the storage closet anyway handing the fabric to her. She brushed through her knots with her fingers as her hair dried a bit. At least so it wasn't as drippy. Pepper appeared next.
"Natasha!" She said a large smile spreading across her face. "I missed you, what have you been up to?"
The former glanced at Pepper's stomach, "Clearly not as much as you." Pepper chuckled softly a saddened look crossing her face before gathering herself.
"Yeah, we haven't really told anyone yet," she said pointing towards Peter. He smiled, it was nice seeing his mother this excited. They hadn't really had any people come visit, especially since Pepper had been intent on not telling anyone. It was just- it wasn't right not so close.
"How are you doing," Natasha said softly. Tenderly touching Pepper's shoulder in a loving gesture. She was about as close to a sister as they could get without being related. Peter watched the interaction awkwardly feeling out of place.
"we're doing okay," Pepper said voice barely above a whisper, it was so much a lie it was barely comprehendible as one. They had times when they laughed and smiled, but the knowledge of the missing person weighed heavily down on them.
"No you're not," Natasha said just as quietly. She gave Pepper a hug as she cried and Natasha let a fear tears leak out as well.
After a few moments they pulled away and Pepper smiled at Nat. "Hopefully you've been doing okay too?"
Peter would have stayed but this seemed like more of an adult conversation and he escaped to his father's lab. He went there for solstice when the pain seemed higher than his good days. They were scarce as the grief only grew. The baby, just a painful reminder.
He sat at the computer looking into his dads face. Memorizing every line every missing crinkle. Peter often watched the video. It brought him back to a time before his world broke into two. Before Peter was left with a gaping hole in his heart, before he lost yet another person.
"I miss you," he said to the computer. He hadn't really said anything to the frozen-in-time Tony. He read it helped getting through grief in one of his classes. "I just- Pepper's pregnant." Peter imagined the way Tony's eyebrows would rise in surprise and his face would begin to glow and he would laugh and twirl Pepper around in his arms like the day she said yes to Tony's proposal. They would go and celebrate and Tony would be the overprotective husband who wouldn't let Pepper do anything dangerous AKA anything at all.
"You're supposed to be here." Peter whispered. "This is stupid," he said more to himself than the picture, "I'm mad at a missing person." A humorless laugh escaped him. "I'm mad at someone who has been presumed dead for 4 months."
"You left me," Peter said through gritted teeth once he gained his bearings before closing the picture and resting his head down on the unfinished iron man suit.
Month 6… Bitter Sweet 16
Tony had been missing for half a year. They celebrated peter's 16th birthday without him. Natasha was there, they invited the other Avengers too. Pepper thought it would be good for some familiar faces. The party went a little like this:
Peter arrived at the tower with Ned the latter chattering excitedly about being at the tower, despite having been there multiple times before.
"Are the other avengers going to be there? Do you think Thor will sign my leg?" On Ned's defense he hadn't met the other Avengers yet. Peter just wasn't ready for Ned to see that part of his life, but he wanted everyone there together and if that meant having Ned there too so be it. Plus it was kind of funny watching his friend flip out.
"Hey Peter," Steve greeted when the elevator opened. The room was decorated in spiderman decorations from top to bottom. Even a few iron man decorations were scattered around. It was bittersweet they could all feel it in the air.
"Happy birthday sweety," Pepper came up and planted a kiss on his hand as they lead him out into the common room to greet everyone. Ned stuck by him the whole time like the loyal friend he was.
"Happy birthday bug-buddy," Scott said cheerfully cassie on his hip a wide smile on her face too.
"Happy birthday spiderman," she said. Peter pretended the comment didn't bother him, but he hadn't gone out at all since that day. He might not, the one person he had needed to save, didn't get saved. What was the point?
Clint and Natasha drew him out of his thoughts. The former had his family behind him, Cooper, Lila, and Nathaniel. "Happy birthday sweety," Laura said pointing to her children who said Happy birthday in unison. Clearly they had done some rehearsing and Peter cracked a smile.
"Thank you." Peter said as Natasha made her way to him.
"с днем рождения малыш паук (Happy birthday baby spider)" She said softly giving him a light hug.
He mustered up his best smile. The thing was that even with all these people here – much more than most people got – he really just wanted his dad.
The whole night was bittersweet. Ned had an amazing time, and they lingered around chatting to eachother. It was nice seeing them all together, he knew it had been hard on them all. Not many of them had been back since the accident. The blame game was common amongst the heroes.
"This is awesome," Ned said in a squeaky voice. Peter just laughed at his friends antics.
"Mom?" He asked as the party was coming to an end so that now there were only a few people left.
"Yes love," She said turning away from her conversation with Clint and Scott.
"Do you think Ned could stay over tonight," Peter said even pulling out his puppy dog eyes. Pepper would have said yes anyway, this was one of the only times Peter actually asked for something and seemed even a bit happy. It was rare, as the weeks drew on.
"Of course, sweety," She said beaming, "You know where the extra-"
"Blankets are? Yes" Peter finished for her with a grin. Him and Ned hurried off and pepper smiled at the two. She glanced at the ceiling. One step at a time, that's what you always said, She thought to Tony. As much as she hated the thought of her husband dead, it felt better when she spoke to him, or thought to him rather.
Month 7.. Unborn Babies Are Hard Work
The pregnancy was going as planned. Peter sat at the small counter with Pepper the tablet in the middle of them.
"Which crib do you like better," Pepper asked her left hand cradling her belly, and her right finger scrolling through at the different cribs.
"That one," Peter said when he spotted a golden one. It was more elegant than anything he had chosen, but it reminded him of Tony. Pepper gave him a watery smile.
"I like that one too," She whispered tears pricking her eyes. "Sorry hormones."
Peter smiled, but they both knew it was a lie as they glanced at the empty seat. Tony should be here. He would've loved this.
Pepper pointed to another picture, "What about this color for the walls," It was a pretty green. Peter shrugged.
"I'm not sure what the baby will like, I wish they could just pick for themselves," He joked getting a laugh from Pepper. She smiled as they continued on.
The empty seat remained, a memory of what couldn't be.
Month 8.. Another Surprise Guest
Peter and Pepper were finishing up the nursery the next time the doorbell rang. Peter smiled already hurrying to get the door. The guilt was weighing him down, nightmare after nightmare haunted him. It didn't help that a smudge of happiness was coming back. The pang a little less sharp. All he remembered were the good memories. Every night though, he saw Tony yelling at him for giving up or dying in his arms unable to do a single thing.
He was on the bottom floor before he knew it, barely registering the elevator ride. There was a familiar man standing behind the door and peter shoved it open trying not to let too much of his spidey strength out from his excitement.
"Uncle Rhodey!" He cried, crashing into the man who laughed and hugged him back. Peter had noticed many of his dads friends were avoiding the duo, still sending their condolences but the visits were less frequent than Peter would have liked.
"Where have you been?" Peter asked when he finally pulled away.
"Military stuff, cleaning up some left overs of Tony's" Peter winced at the left bit. Rhodey didn't mean for it to sound as harsh. "Sorry kiddo. That was a bit rough wasn't it," Rhodey scratched the back of his neck with his hand.
"FRIDAY alerted me there was an intruder," Pepper joked as she emerged from the elevator. "I should just come with you next time, I always miss the guests."
"Awww, you missed me Pep?" Rhodey said giving her a hug. Peter secretly winced at Tony's nickname. "I brought some food."
Peter smiled at the Delmar's bag immediately reaching for his number 5 'smooshed real flat.' "This is great Rhodey thanks!" He said mouth full of sandwich. The two laughed diving into their own sandwiches.
"You've probably heard this a lot," Rhodey said when he finished his sandwich, "but how are you guys doing."
Pepper glanced up at the ceiling, these pregnancy hormones were driving her into insanity. "Its okay, pregnancy is going as planned, but its been hard." Rhodey glanced at Peter for his answer next.
"It gets less painful day by day, slowly. We have to keep moving forward don't we? Its what Tony would want." Peter replied keeping his emotions in check much to the disappointment of Pepper. She wouldn't say it, but she was worried about Peter shoving these feelings down.
"How about you," Pepper asked Rhodey, lightly placing her hand over the top of his. Rhodey just nodded letting out a little sniffle.
"I just- there isn't much to say. I've been keeping busy with work," He explained letting out an exasperated sigh, "G-d I sound like Tony."
The three of them laughed a bit talking about what they've all been up to. Peter couldn't help the tears that pricked his eyes though every time he looked at Pepper's stomach. Tony's baby.
Month 9… A Baby Shower
Peter smiled at their handywork with the nursery. They had decided on red and gold walls. Like Tony, so that when the baby was born, he or she would have Tony there with them. Tony who would've loved Pepper glowing with pregnancy. 6 months in, only 3 months to go, and 3 months until a year went by without his dad.
Today was Pepper's baby shower. Peter had helped Pepper decorate, along with Nat who decided to stay and help Pepper during this time. After all, there was only so much Peter could do. Especially when even feeling too happy, hurt too much.
"How's it looking Peter?" Pepper asked glancing up at Peter. His hands stuck to the ceiling as he hung up the last of the decorations. Some cutout baby bottles hanging from the tall ceiling. They were using the big party room, where Tony had his birthday party that time.
"Good!" Peter replied as Natasha walked in. She glanced up skeptically.
"Still creepy," She murmured under her breath; Peter chuckled.
"You'll get used to it," he reassured, Natasha scoffed rolling her eyes glancing at Pepper.
"No you don't," The two women laughed.
The room flooded with people all celebrating Pepper's baby/ He thought he was recovering, that he was getting better and could finally move on, but then something happened and he was right back where he started. 1 step forward two steps back.
The baby, for one, helped at the same time it made it worse. Pepper called him over then, from where he was sitting playing with Clints kids at the coffee table. They had the avenger's figurines, and Peter tried not to feel sad when they brought the Iron man one out.
"Time for the big reveal," She said excitedly, but Peter could see the glint in her eye. The glint of pain, it held so much pain, and peter wondered if he had the same glint. The same glint that screamed hurting whenever someone looked too closely. But also the glint of sparkle, love, fondness, memories, and recovery. Tony would want them to be happy. Peter made his way towards his mom standing opposite her. They each had a balloon in his hand, Peter had a red one and pepper had a gold one. Another Tony incorporation.
"There are two confetti's" Natasha explained, "The gold one means it's a boy, and the red means it's a girl, understand?"
There were murmurs of agreement through the crowd as they started counting down.
"ONE"
"TWO"
"THREE!"
They popped the balloons and red confetti rained down. Pepper was crying and peter was crying and everyone was cheering. Through the cheering though peter could make out what Pepper was whispering over and over again.
"Morgan, Morgan, Morgan."
"Morgan," Peter repeated testing out the same on his tongue. It felt right.
Month 10… The Guilt of One Clint Barton
It was Clint who showed up next. Peter liked clint, he was a father too, and he got along with the Barton children. Pepper enjoyed talking to the family, this past year though, other than the funeral they hadn't seen much of them. The reason was unknown but not an upmost priority.
"You know we haven't seen Clint's family in a while," Pepper pointed out over a waffle breakfast. Her cravings were honestly making Peter's life a bit sweeter. Pun intended. Peter nodded through the waffle stuffed in his mouth. He went to talk but was stopped with a pointed look from his mom and a "Chew."
"We really haven't," Peter said after a moment. "Not since.." The Funeral went unsaid.
"Yeah," Pepper said quietly. Peter thought back to the cabin vacations they would spend with the Barton's and the house they had been looking at for "retirement" as Tony liked to call it. Likes. He's not dead.
A ding throughout the penthouse awoken them from their sullen thoughts. "Who is it this time?" Peter asked amused, to no one in particular.
"I have no idea," Pepper said getting off of her stool and leading the two of them towards the elevator. The ride down was full of silently raging questions. It had been 10 months, this could be the month Tony returned? Maybe they were just getting a visitor? What if they found the body? All questions, without answers. Like an ocean without water.
The duo stepped off and into the lobby where a certain someone was waiting. "Did you miss me?"
"Uncle Clint!" Peter sang running towards the older man. Pepper took her time her hand resting protectively over her baby bump.
"Hey buddy," Clint ruffled Peter's hair before turning towards Pepper, "Hi."
"Hi Clint," She said with a soft smile leaning in for a side hug, "How's the farm?"
"As per usual, feels empty without your frequent visits," He noted with a mock glare.
"We were just talking about that," Pepper said matter-of-factly. "Maybe once the baby comes we'll move to the cabin to the cabin" Peter looked to Pepper in surprise. She had never mentioned this. Pepper avoided his eyes for the rest of the afternoon.
Clint and Pepper talked for a while and Peter went upstairs pulling up a tab he hadn't pulled up since the dea- disappearance of his father. The cabin. It was all the way in Georgia, it was brown and casual and comfortable and everything Tony was. It was his idea really, but Peter had fallen in love it. His dads enthusiasm was hard to discourage.
Flashback 5 months prior to the disappearance
"Peter!" Tony came bounding into his room a giant smile on his face, a familiar tablet in his hands. Peter grinned.
"That's me," He responded sitting up crisscross-apple-sauce on the bed. Motioning towards the tablet. "What's that?"
"Thought you'd never ask!" Tony quipped thrusting the device in Peter's face. "I found us a house."
Peter looked at him skeptically but took the ipad from him none the less. It was very nice indeed. Quaint compared to the giant penthouse they now resided in.
"I felt like if we had another kid," Tony paused for a moment gauging Peter's reaction, "I think they should grow up here, and really Ironman isn't such a big part of my life. Every time I go out there I'm worried about you guys. If I died what would happen you know, every time I put on the suit it just doesn't feel right anymore. I feel like you could still spiderman maybe I'm not sure how that would work but-"
Peter stopped his dads rambling with a hug. "It looks great" He said sincerely hanging the tablet back to his dad. "We can work out the details later."
But later never came.
Now..
"Peter?" Clint's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and Peter realized he'd been crying the house still in front of him.
"Oh hey," Peter said quietly staring down at his lap. "I was just-"
"Its okay Peter," clint said a new softness to his voice, "I get it, I lost my dad at a young age too. I didn't show up just for fun you know. I wanted to explain to you what happened."
Peter sat up a little straighter at his words. All the other Avengers claimed they didn't know, so to hear it from him, now?
"We were checking out an abandoned hydra base, but something felt off, everything seemed okay until we heard a ticking sound which turned out to be a bomb. I wasn't thinking about anything except getting back to my kids, but Tony, he was panting and running and I could see him but then the blast, it was loud knocked me unconscious. When I came to, he wasn't there anymore."
When Clint finished his story Peter's eyes were wild fat tears dripping out from them. "He- You saw-"
"I should've done more," clint felt a tear slide down his cheek but didn't bother wiping it off. Peter needed to see this. This vulnerability.
"Its not your fault," Peter said a hand lightly touching Clint's arm. Survivors guilt, his mind supplied.
"Its not yours either." Clint stated staring into Peter's unsure eyes. "I knew your dad for years, you two think alike"
The younger boy nodded a small smile on his face. "This talk helped, thank you."
Month 11.. Morgan
It was the third week into month 11 when it happened. They were settling down for a movie, Pepper shifting almost every few minutes. Peter noticed her obvious discomfort and could hear something happening.
"Mom?" Peter asked about 30 minutes in his movie when he smelt something strange. His moms eyes were large like saucers. "Mom?" Peter repeated as he heard his moms heart start beating faster and her hand fly to her stomach.
"My water broke" She whispered shock leaking into a voice, but a wide smile covered it up. Jumping into action Peter hurried into his parents room pulling out the previously packed duffle bag full of everything for Pepper, the baby and Peter.
He helped his mom off the couch ignoring the wet stain, and the memories of the father-son star wars marathons. His mom hurried as fast as she could as Peter dialed happy.
"Peter?" The voice of the bodyguard entered the phone.
"Happy!" Peter practically yelled into the phone, "Its happening get to the hospital we'll meet you there"
He hung up the phone opting to carry Pepper bridal style. She was heavier thanks to the baby but not totally impossible. He loaded her into the back. He helped her adjust so one leg was dangling off the side of the seat and the other lounging across the seats with her head leaning up against the door.
"I'm good," Pepper said breaths coming in rapid pants. "Can you drive?"
Peter hadn't gotten many hours in and hadn't even taken his drivers test yet, but he had his permit in his pocket and he felt like he could do this. For Tony. "Yeah I got this." A newfound confidence and love making its way into his heart. Is this what his dad felt like when he was born?
Only a very minimal speeding took place as they drove through the city in an attempt to get to the hospital. Pepper's painful cries came from the backseat as her contraptions came which only made Peter more anxious. He could hear both their hearts beating, as well as the baby's. Morgan's. Morgan's heart.
"You good back there?" peter yelled back when they were about five minutes away. He glanced in the review mirror and sent Pepper a smile at her subtle nod. "Just hang on a little longer."
They turned into the parking lot and Peter jumped out of the car without a moment to spare. "My mom is having baby!" He yelled and immediately nurses came outside swarming around the car, he barely picked up the voices of them instructing each other how to get Pepper out without causing her too much pain/
"Why didn't you call the ambulance," One doctor asked her eyebrows pinched together.
"Not enough time." Peter stated. They would have had to wait for the ambulance to arrive and this baby was coming quickly, he could feel it. His answer seemed to satisfy the doctor as they wheeled Pepper into the hospital leaving Peter in the parking lot.
Happy pulled up not much longer after that swerving into the parking lot and into an empty space.
"Where is she?" He asked panting. Peter smiled a little more relaxed.
"Its happening," Peter repeated as the two walked in together. Happiness flooded through them as the realization of this moment. Of Tony's baby coming into the world. It was a bittersweet moment. The other Avengers arrived not long after Happy did the group of them waiting in the waiting room.
Rhodey was the one who went in with Pepper. Peter had offered, but Rhodey had said with an amused laugh, "You don't need to see that."
He thought it meant a lot that Rhodey, who was like a brother to Tony, offered to help Pepper through her birth.
"You should sleep," Natasha said softly as she entered sitting next to Peter. His eyes were drooping the adrenaline wearing off and he noted that he was actually pretty tired. Natasha guided his head onto his shoulder coming her fingers through his hair. It wasn't like Tony's but it was nice.
"Thanks Nat," He said softly letting himself succumb to the darkness.
It was Rhodey who woke him up a few hours later.
"Peter." Said boy yawned, "Do you want to meet your little sister?"
This woke Peter up and he nodded vigorously following Rhodey to the hospital room eager to meet Morgan. He wondered if she'd look like more like Tony or more like Pepper, or possibly him.
When he saw Morgan for the fist time nestled in Pepper's arms a fond smile playing on her lips, it felt right. It felt perfect, and maybe it felt kind of whole. Because in the wake of his father's disappearance a gift was born, a gift given to the Stark family from Tony. A final goodbye.
Peter walked over to the bed giving his mom a hug. "I love you," he whispered in her ear. She smiled a small tear falling down her cheek.
"I love you too" Pepper said kissing his forehead, "Would you like to hold her?"
Peter's eyes widened and he felt so much love in his heart for his barely a day old sister. He nodded and Pepper gently passed Morgan on.
"Hi Morgan," Peter cooed/whispered, "I'm your big brother."
Peter vowed to protect his little sister, no matter what. There was so much love between them, Peter couldn't help but feel overwhelmed, he didn't even know it was possible to love a human being so much. He finally understood his dads overprotective nature as he kissed Morgan's small head. A promise that could never be broken.
Month 12… Return
At school the next month they held an emergency assembly. Why? Peter didn't know but the teachers seemed to know. They kept smiling wide smiles at the students.
"Hello class," The principle says with a wide grin. "Is Peter Parker in here."
Peter looked skeptically at the principle, was this some kind of punishment? He thought back through the past few weeks. He hadn't done anything wrong. He did hack into the school computers, but he just wanted to play some stupid cool math game.
Peter walked across the gym floor as the principle walked towards him a smile still playing on his lips. In all honestly it was kind of creepy. It was then that he caught Pepper at the side of the gym. Was this some kind of press thing?
"Peter, I want you to turn around" The principle said just as he heard the doors open. Peter screamed tears streaming down his face as he ran towards the man. He looked different, older, skinnier, and there were so many unanswered questions but he crashed into his dad engulfing him in a hug.
"Peter," his dad repeated over and over again as Pepper came over Morgan in her arms. The crowd was cheering but Peter ignored them because Tony was home. Tony was home and Peter felt whole again, because his family was right here and it was if Tony had never left.
A/N: There is going to be one more part where I dive into where he was and maybe a fun little epilogue.