The room seem unbearably hot. I felt my face flushing and my clothes dampening with nervous perspiration. I couldn't process what I was hearing. The whole conversation felt like the start of a bad holo drama. A mild mannered music student is whisked away to a life of glamor and intrigue! In other words, it made no sense. I had nothing to qualify me for a position in security.
"I'm sorry. I'm just... confused. I... I'm a musician. I don't have the first idea about anything relating to security," his expression affirmed that "and I'm pretty sure I couldn't take anyone in a fight. So I just... it doesn't make any sense why you would ask me." Captain Panaka nodded
"Yes. You're correct. You're not an ideal candidate for handmaiden by any means." He really wasn't the flattering type, was he. "This proposition is based in two criteria. First, your resemblance to Candidate Amidala. Everything else can be taught and trained. But resemblance can't be created. You look similar enough that you could function as decoy even without ceremonial makeup. That is a rarity. Secondly, though less important, is your relative lack of career path." That stung a bit. "Handmaidenship is not a light commitment. We prefer to recruit those who are not already tied to a calling. Investing training and revealing state secrets, and then having a trainee choose to leave for a former life is inconvenient and expensive. You were almost disqualified, due to your studies here, but because of your strong resemblance we took the time to investigate your commitment to music and found that it was tentative at best." I shrugged slightly in acknowledgement of the truth of the statement. "So. If you choose to accept this offer, you will be trained for one year. If Candidate Amidala becomes Queen, you will serve for all three years of her term, unless you receive an injury disqualifying you from service. After her term, if she runs again, you may choose to continue on with her or not. At whatever point your handmaidenship is ended, you will have an open invitation into nearly any career path you choose on any Republic planet. Former Handmaiden are considered elite candidates for any career or social path they choose." My brain felt like it was stuttering. I glanced at the sheet music I'd been practicing, what was it, fifteen minutes ago? The entire world had shifted in fifteen minutes.
"Do I... when do you need an answer?"
"We can give you one week. The decoy position is of utmost importance, and we must look elsewhere if you do not agree to take the position." My mind moving as fast as a speeder in hyperdrive, I took a deep breath in through the nose and let it go through my mouth, a trick I'd been taught to calm nerves before a performance.
"Understood. I will have your answer before a week is up."
"You may contact me using this secure commlink." Panaka handed it to me with a stern expression. "Do not lose it." Identify yourself with the call sign Pearl." I nodded gravely. "You will hear the sign, 'the rock gardens of Jafan are impressive.' Reply with the countersign 'Yes, but I prefer the waterfalls of Naboo.' If you are not given the sign with those words in that exact order, hang up immediately and wait until we contact you. Understood?"
"I prefer the waterfalls of Naboo. Yes." I kept mentally repeating both phrases. "I don't suppose—" before I even finished the question I knew it was foolish to ask "—I could write it down?" A simple head shake was the only response I got. Blushing, I muttered something affirmative, as General Panaka stood and moved toward the door.
"We will look forward to hearing your answer, Miss Klito. Remember, you are to discuss no part of this with anyone. Not even your family. If you choose to take the position, we will discuss with you options for how to explain your absence. I'll see myself out." With that, he disappeared, and I was left sitting dazed and overwhelmed, at the biggest crossroads life had ever sent me.
Six days later, I once again sat alone in a practice room, but this time, I was holding a commlink in a slightly trembling hand. For all the adrenaline firing through my body, you'd think I was about to do something much more dangerous than merely place a call. For six days, I had participated in classes and practices like a shell of a girl. At least half my mind was constantly on the decision looming in front of me. It seemed ludicrous. Me, the second child of two renowned hallikset performers, a royal handmaiden? General Panaka might as well have suggested that I join the Jedi counsel. I would have found that only slightly less believable.
But this could be my chance. I had longed for a way out of this career—one that didn't involve living on the streets. This was not only a reputable career choice, it was prestigious. After Amidala's two years were up, Handmaidens were so highly regarded, I would have an open invitation into nearly any career field. I could even just marry rich and be a lady of society, if I desired. Which I didn't. But still. Lowly Tsabin Klito, a subpar musical performer: I'd have the ability to pursue nearly any future I wanted. I'd just have to supply the hard work and skill once the doors opened. However, the path to this bright future involved not only danger, but literally placing myself in danger intentionally. I would not only be a handmaiden. I'd be a decoy; an actual target for danger. If I got killed, I'd have done my job. That wasn't exactly something I'd ever hoped for in a profession.
Then, my thoughts would take a more philosophical turn: wouldn't it be better to die for something noble, than to live a long life of discontentment? The monarchy of Naboo was an institution of long years past. The Queen stood for freedom, justice, and democracy. And not only that, but she'd be my cousin. We'd never had a close bond, but still… knowing she was my cousin, it was easier to think of protecting her than some theoretical lofty queen. I remembered the fire in her eyes as she rambled on about politics and ethics. She had found her calling. Maybe mine was to protect hers? And if not, it would give me the chance to find what my calling truly was. In the end, it wasn't really a choice at all. I couldn't live with what might have been.
I had never been much of a risk taker, which was part of the reason I was so stuck at the Conservatory. I'd never been brave enough to strike out on my own. But this chance had been put into my lap like a gift. I'd be a fool if I didn't take this risk. I knew; I just knew I'd regret it the rest of my life if I didn't follow this path. Stars—how many girls were given a chance like this, to completely change their fate? So there I sat. Trembling hand, finger hovering over the button. I took a deep breath—in through the nose, out though the mouth—and pressed the button.
a/n Thanks for reading! This will pick up, I promise. Getting it all established takes a bit, but soon things will be picking up-with handmaiden training!