'You look awful, James,' said Sirius as he poured himself some pumpkin juice. 'What? Did Evans tell you off again or something?'

James glanced at the redhead who sat the farthest away from him. That was his future wife — supposedly. James wished Severus had looked for Evans after fifth year, he did not know how they came to be an item. He saw himself being an arse towards Snape after the lake incident. He groaned.

'No, and don't even mention her again — my life doesn't revolve around her,' James muttered, angry not with Evans, but himself. 'Besides, it's not your business.'

Why, why couldn't I have befriended the guy from the start? He thought. Right, we were both dicks. I still should've made an effort.

Remus choked on something and James raised his eyes from his plate to look at his friend. Peter slapped the werewolf's back until Remus was breathing again.

'What the fuck?' Remus asked in a hoarse voice. 'Not our business? When you've been after her for years? Oh, Jamesy boy, you made it our business a long time ago.'

Sirius waved his hands at Remus, shutting him up. He turned to James. 'Mate…'

'Are you confounded? Or just stupid today?'

James' eyes moved rapidly from each one of his friends as they voiced their confusion. He felt anger stab him in his own chest, like the sharpest weapon he had ever yielded.

'SHUT IT!' he slammed his fist on the table as everyone gazed at him, even Snape. He checked as he lifted his face again and looked over the Slytherin table. Snape had jumped and looked like a deer caught in headlights. James cursed himself.

He could feel a gentle prodding in the back of his head from the High Table. The Headmaster wanted to get in his head, fool, did he think James was going to look at him like that either way?

Sirius placed his hand on James' shoulder, but it burned. It felt like fire against his skin. He flinched away from his friend's touch, and his heart shrunk when he saw the flash of hurt come across his face. Peter looked at him with wide eyes and Remus inquired at him with his. James flushed and exited the Great Hall. He couldn't deal with any of this, not now.

James ran to the Quidditch pitch and exhaled. He cried, and for Merlin's beard, he had cried more the past two days than in his entire life. It still wasn't near the many times he had seen Snape sobbing. Snape, who looked at him as if he had slapped him across the face the moment, he raised his voice. How many times had the Slytherin been at the end of his frustration? And now he had unloaded on Sirius, his Sirius. Why couldn't he be okay?

'Mr Potter! Mr Potter!' called McGonagall as she chased after him. 'What caused you to make such a ruckus in the Great Hall? Do you know how many house-points I ought to take from our house?'

But before James responded, the image in front of his eyes changed.

'Mr Snape,' said the tall professor with tightened eyes. 'I will ask you not to make such havoc in my presence.'

'But — Professor, you know it wasn't me! They were the ones to cast the hex! Check their wands!' cried Snape desperately.

'To blame your classmates in such manner,' she sneered. 'I have never seen something like this!'

Snape's voice broke. 'It's because they're Gryffindors, you look the other way! I didn't — it wasn't me!'

'Mr Pettigrew said it was you, didn't he? Why would he lie about such a thing?'

'He wouldn't even feel pain. It was a transfiguration spell, carefully chosen,' the boy sputtered. He hid the hand that started twitching under his cloak. 'But it wasn't me, Potter, he—!'

'What could Mr Potter get from all of this? You realise how little sense you're making, Mr Snape?'

Snape clenched his fists. 'You're right, Professor, I apologise.'

McGonagall's frown was unmoving. 'You will be punished for this instance, Mr Snape. I will talk to your Head of House later. You're dismissed. Oh, and by the way, 50 points from Slytherin.'

James sobered up, he looked back at his Head of House and said: 'Take all the points you want; take one-hundred, a thousand! I don't bloody care! Do you think I don't know that's what we deserve!?'

McGonagall's lips parted for a second before she pinched her lips. She turned around and walked towards the castle at a scary fast pace. James held his head in his hands and dropped to his knees.

A familiar hand touched his skin again. It didn't burn any more. 'Mate? C'mon let's go to the Hospital Wing.'

James looked up at Sirius' big grey eyes and jumped to hug him. He held him in his arms again and even though it was strange for him to just keep pulling Sirius in spontaneous hugs; the boy accepted them with open arms. His long, thin fingers brushed James' rebellious hair, and he opened his legs to adjust James between them. 'If I keep coddling you like this, you'll be even more spoiled than before.'

The chaser laughed and wiped his tears into the taller boy's shirt. Probably some snot too.

'I'm sorry about before.'

Sirius' smile dropped. 'It's okay.'

James grabbed his arms and looked at him. His mouth felt dry.

'No — no it's not and we, we need to talk.'

'Oi, James, you haven't even taken me out on a date!'

James shook his head. 'No, I—'

Sirius placed one finger on his lips. James' hands that were still on the other boy's arms tingled.

'You're lucky it's Saturday,' Sirius flashed him a smile. 'I'll call for a group meeting.'

James wrapped his arms around Sirius' slender waist. 'You're going to hate me for what I'll say.'

Sirius snorted. 'Yeah — I should already hate you for ruining my shirt this morning, but shit happens.'

Sirius laid on the grass and James shifted around, so he was by the other boy's side. He resisted the urge of touching him again in case the Sirius that was next to him was not real, that he was just a corpse and that James hadn't saved him. That he had lost twelve years of his life again, to end up dying. His chest tightened.

'What happened in there?' asked Peter as he ran towards the two boys, his concern showing in his eyes. James prayed it wasn't a life.

'We need to talk,' said James.

Peter snorted as he took a seat to James' left side. 'Gee, Jamie. Didn't know we were dating.'

James rolled his eyes.

'Do you lot share the same brain cell?' he asked with his hands going for Peter's side, tickling him.

'Children.' Remus shook his head slowly as he walked towards them. 'I tend to gatekeep that one brain cell.'

'And you're still pants at Potions,' said Sirius, moving, so his head laid on James' chest. The chaser touched his hair. 'Let that sink in.'

'What did we need to talk about?' asked Peter once he had recovered his breath. 'And should it really be out in the open? The Ravenclaw's have practice in like almost nothing.'

'I thought they practised earlier?'

'Emmeline Vance is their new captain, she's always coming late to morning classes. Can't imagine her waking up early even for quidditch,' answered Remus, pulling Peter up despite the other's requests.

'You know your fair share about the girl, huh?' asked Peter.

'Jealous, my dear wife?' Remus rolled his eyes before he glared at Sirius and James. The two boys stood as well.

Peter laughed. 'Just want to know about the competition, that's all.'

Sirius shook his head and pushed the three boys in the direction towards Gryffindor Tower, but before they arrived Peter nearly fell on top of a first-year James recognised from the sorting. Sirius bared his teeth at her.

'Stop blocking the way,' he barked with contempt. The girl stared at him with wide eyes. 'What are you looking at? Get moving—'

Remus rolled his eyes and snorted at the kid. James swallowed hard when he saw the girl's lips part when she spotted the Prefect badge on Remus' cloak. James' hand flew to Sirius' mouth, and he covered it and pulled him behind him. The boy didn't protest. He lowered himself a bit to be on eye-level with the first-year.

'He's sorry.'

The girl narrowed his eyes at him. 'No, he's not — don't you think I haven't heard about you? That I don't see what you do? You lot are a bunch of jerks, and I've been here for two months.'

The chaser wetted his lips. 'I'm sorry.'

The girl looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Her eyes drifted to Remus, Peter and Sirius in that order. They all looked down at the ground in shame.

'I don't care — it's not me you should apologise to, anyway.'

She scoffed and shook her head before she walked away from them. As she was about to go down the stairs, James saw her long, blonde girl swaying. A rush of adrenaline flowed through his body, a memory had come to him.

'Wait! What's your name?'

She turned her head around enough so James could see her side profile clearly.

'Adelaide Everston, I'm Iris Everston's sister,' she said.

James' pulse quickened. He didn't even know what he was hoping to find out at that point, but Adelaide was close to it somehow. 'Favourite flower then?'

Adelaide touched her chin and looked down for a second. She fully turned around to answer the chaser of their house: 'My mother used to like Lunaria Annuas.'

Snape stalked behind a student who looked at her cauldron with excitement. She turned to face Snape.

'How is it, Professor Snape?'

Snape offered her a small smile. 'A very adequate potion, Miss Haywood.'

James rubbed his eyes and stifled a groan. He recognised the name of the flower; it was dubbed as the money plant, the — penny flower. Penny? His head shot upward, but Adelaide had already gone. Penny, huh?

Remus touched his shoulder. He turned to face his friend. The werewolf scratched the back of his neck with the other and signalled the open entrance to their tower to him. Remus wasn't dumb, he already knew what they were going to talk about.

James shook his head and closed the door once he and his friends were inside. He sighed. And something pulsated within him.

Change is coming.

'So now we are "awful people",' Sirius said making quotes with his hands. 'Because we jinx some people. Throw me in Azkaban then!'

James' nostrils flared and his hands moved to get a hold on Sirius' shoulders. 'Don't, never joke about that again.'

Sirius scoffed and threw the boy off him. 'Whatever. Is this another tactic to get with Evans? Because if it is—'

'Why do we have to become better people for her sake!? Don't you listen to yourself? Do you think what we're doing is — is right?'

Sirius rolled his painfully beautiful eyes. James clenched his fist. 'If it was wrong, we'd get in far more trouble that some,' he waves his hands. 'Detentions, McGonagall's punishments are barely for disrupting the students' space. We'd get more than some mild scolding.'

Peter, who hadn't raised his head until now, communicated his agreement with Sirius. 'He's got a point, you know? You'd think the teachers would do more than make you lot help Hagrid when he needs it — hell, we'd do it for free.'

'See? The teachers don't do more because it's just a joke, nobody has died yet from a stinging hex,' said Sirius.

'Does somebody need to die for you to realise you're being a dick?'

James felt light-headed, he was almost drawing blood from the way his nails felt against his palms. Remus looked at him with worried eyes.

Sirius stood in front of him, inspecting him with his gaze. 'I don't know — you tell me. Who died for you to change so abruptly?'

James seized the collar of Sirius' shirt and pinned him to the wall. Even with their height difference, Sirius had always been thinner and weaker than him, he merely used his height to intimidate.

The chaser wanted to scream the answer in his face: 'You and our fucking favourite victim did!'

But he couldn't, at least, not yet.

'Sirius — please,' he drawled and his forehead touched the wall, his lips were some inches away from Sirius' chin. He kept the hold on the boy.

Sirius didn't look alarmed at all about James holding his wrists above his head. He tilted his head towards James.

'We'll stop then,' he said with cold eyes. James felt as if his heart had been frozen the second they locked eyes.

James sighed and dropped his head on the crook of Sirius' neck. 'I beg of you — listen to me, please.'

Sirius scoffed but didn't move when James released his wrists. 'Should I play house with Snivellus then?'

'DON'T CALL HIM THAT!' James screamed with tears in his eyes as he punched the wall. Sirius startled.

'IF YOU KNEW — IF YOU KNEW WHAT HE GOES THROUGH YOU WOULDN'T—'

Sirius with unknown strength pushed James' off him again, and unlike the first time, this one he did with that famous temper of his.

'ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF?' he screamed into the James' face as he held his face. 'DID YOU FUCKING SWITCH YOUR CRUSH TO SNAPE!? I DON'T WANT TO GET TO KNOW HIM, I DON'T WANT SHIT TO DO WITH THE BASTARD!'

'Then leave him alone,' James whispered. 'Leave him alone — if you can't be nice to him, just fucking drop him!'

Sirius' face reddened, and he slapped James across the face, harshly. His eyes widened when he realised what he had done, and he looked at his own hand before shifting his gaze to James' burning cheek.

'I — I'm sorry,' tears streamed down his face as if he had been the one to receive the assault. Peter moved between the both of them and looked at James for a long time before his hands moved to Sirius' arms. He led the boy outside their room. Remus walked up to James.

'I understand, or at least I think I do,' said Remus, putting one arm around him before they both sat on James' bed. 'But you want Sirius to stop doing something he has been doing for years — you don't even know what's his fixation with Snape.'

James felt embarrassed, and he glared at Remus. He pushed his hand away. 'Oh, then pray and tell what's my best friend's motive to act in such a manner, Remus?'

Remus gave a long sigh. He sagged on the bed. He chuckled softly before boring his green eyes into James' hazel ones.

'It's you, James,' Remus said. 'Sirius' motive has always been you.'