So was unloading laser blasts into the horde of rubber spandex cheap Halloween costumes before I decided to mix it up.

"Sword!" I called out to nobody in particular.

…hey, can it Nero! You do the same shit!

The red T-Rex blade became even more red!

…well… it would have… these things are apparently more "conventional." More like comic conventional!

…no of course that wasn't an insult. I love Ghost Rider!

W go waaaaay back to that one time when the unive…err…

… never mind, that's another story.

…that may or may not have happened.

Speaking of "canon"s.

With one last vertical swing (usually not my style, but I was just starting our remember? I'd've been rough around the edges.) The wannabe demons fell to the ground.

"ENOUGH!" Yeah, I almost forgot there was a bigger threat there too. Must not have been that big, right? I was a threat, and mine's bigger!

…did Kyrie just snort behind you kid? Ha!

Relax; I won't tell… for the right price.

…yeah, her usual strawberry recipe. Anyway…

All that soot went flying around the dad and his girl and me! I was able keep a footing, but couldn't do much to help them!

"DADDY!" I guess the kid woke up in all the commotion.

I tried to move for her, when…

"I GOT HER!" Dad called. "STOP THEM!"

I slowly turned to see the demon fodder around me had been sucked into a big brown ball of shit, and from it one of the two hideous faces that not even a mother could love appeared from it. (The one on top; not the tummy teeth.)

DUST DEVIL

I took a few swings as it stacked with its' horrendous underbite. Nothing. Damn.

"Daddy?' I had to wrap this up.

"It's ok. Sweetie." The old men…

"I'm not letting my family down…

NEVER AGAIN!" He couldn't keep this up.

Suddenly, a goofy melody went off in my pocket.

This was before cellphones kid.

This lame watch it looked like I got from a cereal box kept beeping.

"Eh, excuse me." I remember the now even dumber look on Dumbabolicle's face. "I have to take this.

Reluctantly, I did what I was told earlier and pushed down on the doohickey. Ha! Hickey. "Pizza1"

"Dante," the cities heard the voice bellow "this manifestation has no solid form. You will need to rely on your power."

"Power, hu?" I smirked. "Not usually my thing, but…"

I gave the step-girls another spin. "Power Blasters!

YAHOO!"

A few rolls dodging the dungballs was all it took to overwhelm it with firepower! "That.. voice! IT CAN"T BE!"

Keeping it stylish, I grabbed the sword blade and ran across it with my hand to power it, but I got a bit carried away. My palm slit, and the red energy combined with my corrupted human blood into a dark red strobe effect.

"Jackpot." *swish!*

"DAMN YOU…" language! "ZOOOOOOOOORDOOOOOOOON!"

The dust settled. …no really. The sandstorm stopped and the exhausted family collapsed.

"Who…" I could barely hear the tired old geyzer "what was that?"

"The demon?" I asked, uninterested. "Who knows, I'm not even sure myself."

"No," he corrected me. I hate that. "The voice… on your… watch…'

MISSION 1 END

RESULTS:

TIME: A

DAMAGE: A

STYLE POINTS: A

ORBS: A

ITEMS USED: A

DEVIL HUNTER RANK: A

- NEXT MISSION

- NEXT MISSION

- MISSION SELECT

- SAVE

..

Okay, let be go back it up a bit...

Give you a better idea of how all of this got started.

So one day in the alley I was sleeping in at the time, I got a note left for me to meet a guy named "Al" for a job. Shrugging it off, being still half-asleep and 11 before noon, my stomach finally convinced me I could use the pay.

I found this old abandoned building to temporarily "set up shop" when the cops weren't around, so I "replied" on the back of the note the address.

Not like I had a name for the place.

So finally, the day comes and this robotic voice said "It-is-I, Al." Knocking at the door.

"Make sure it locks behind ya!" I called out.

So of course ET beams down in the joint, checking the lock behind him. Smart-ass cyborg.

"So, you Al?"

"That is cor-rect Dante."

"Ah, you know me."

"Of course," it wobbled over "your legend pre-cedes you, Son of Sparda."

"Just Dante," i spat back "gettin really sick of that name."

Silence.

"So," I finally break it "you want me ta 'Take Me To Your LeaDer?'"

"Just the opp-o-site," the tin can replied "While te-le-por-timg you directly to us could have been po-ssi-ble, the shock of it all com-bined with your po-ten-tial power outputs were too much of a cal-cu-la-ted risk."

"Tch," I replied snakily "so what, you normally only abduct teenagers when they have just my attitude?"

Again, silence. Must've had a screw loose.

Literally.

"Whatever," I was gettin tired of all this "just beam me up Scotty."

"Acknowledged," Al replied.

Suddenly, i was glowing red and covered in some kind of electricity (nothing new), before flying up and into this big-ass black opening in a weird landmark-lookin' place.

Next think I know, I'm in the "mothership" and this blue Oz head appears between two testa Frankenstein cords.

...

Mission 2: The Wizard

Test yourself against the power of the grid.

- Mission Start

- (Locked)

...

"Welcome Dante," a voice boom from the tube.

"So," I said as i take the place in.

"This like a NASADA mission control blacksite or somethin'"

"That location actually looks quite different," fathead replied "trust me.

This is the Command Center."

Glancing around I laughed "how unoriginal. This big tube around your little tube looks more like the inside of an outlet. Maybe you should try Chamber of Power."

"Hmm..." he actually thought about it.

"Whatever," i snarked "you must be the floating brains of this Operation."

"Yes," he replied, rather annoyed.

Now he knows how i feel.

"Just as foul mouthed... like your predecessor, Son of Sparda."

*BANG!*

MISSION START

Somehow my handgun at the time was stopped by a force of blue energy from cracking his tube right between the eyes.

"I am getting SO SICK OF HEARING THAT!" drawing my sword as best I could at the time "WHO THE HELL GETS OFF ACTING LIKE THEY KNEW MY DEAD FATHER."

Calmly, blutube replied "I DID know your father."

..."What?"

I looked at him puzzled... then, it really started to sink in. My head spun as I couldn't help but let out a gasp.

"My father?"

Finally, i grabbed onto the edge of the controls, dropping Rebellion.

"You..." I couldn't even get the words out.

"YOU knew him?"

Ya gotta understand; i hadn't met many powerful beings yet that weren't mindless, let alone that didn't want to kill me.

"Yes Dante," blue bald replied.

"Long ago, I came to this planet in order to keep 5 great sources of power safe, as well as to defeat any who would dare threaten our new home that protects them.

But there have been and are still many dangerous entities beyond even this reality, let alone the Shadow World... what you call the demon or underworld.

Fortunately, there were many like you and your father who rose up against this darkness... although few quite like Sparda actually had the heart to turn away from it.

Regardless, in order to help each other reached our shared goals, i inevitably assisted him and some of the Earthlings known as Egyptians seal away a great evil known to you as a demon, your "jackpot."

A powerful demon queen... Bansheera.

In exchange for my aid stopping these evil forces, the Dark Knight shared with me his knowledge of warlock powers in order to stop one such foe of my own.

A witch. Rita Repulsa."

I half laughed/half snorted. "Rita Repulsa? the hell kinda name is that?"

"What kind of name is Spar-da?"

*BANG* *ZZZAPP*

"Your H.A.L. got an voice mute on this dashboard!?"

"Only D.E.C... Aaauuhh," blue chrome dome stopped himself "that is my loyal associate of over 2,000 years. It and the four before him are loyal to the forces of good. You will respect its' existence or endure the consequences."

"Ha!" I swung the old blade. "Bring it on!"