A/n Again, thank you for all the lovely comments about this fic so far! I am glad so many of you are enjoying it.
The chapter title seems a bit morbid, but I love this lyric AND, in this context, I am taking it as life being too short.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
Chapter title explained:
"And if death is the last appointment, then we're all just sitting in the waiting room.", is a lyric from "Church" which is a track from Fall Out Boy's 2018 LP, "Mania".
/
"And if death is the last appointment, then we're all just sitting in the waiting room."
No-one likes to be woken up when they're having a nice dream. Lisbon was dreaming about Jane, the pair of them were lounging on a beach watching the sea rhythmically come in and go out, the waves gently lapping onto the sand. They were making idle chitchat, their hands clasped together, relaxing without a care in the world. It was nice and she looks forward to making it a reality in the future.
It is the sound of movement that rises her and when she peels open her eyes, she blearily spots the figure of her boyfriend stood in front of the mirror. His fingers are working at taming his curls that she has recently discovered are always unruly first thing in the morning. "Where are you going?" She groans, still feeling the full effects of the deep sleep she was just pulled out of.
"Duty calls." He murmurs with a final sweep to move the hair from his forehead.
"What?"
"A case." He clarifies and turns to face her with a slight look of regret. The last thing he wants to do is go into work, but his leave is over, and he has a job to do. It was his phone vibrating at his bedside that woke him from his slumber and as soon as he heard it, he knew that it was going to be Abbott. "Some of us have to work my dear."
He would much rather spend another week with his new girlfriend but sadly it isn't possible. She hums disapprovingly at his expected absence. Looks like she is going to have to entertain herself today. "What's the case?"
He chuckles at her question because he knew that she would find it difficult having to take time off without him here to amuse her. "I didn't ask." Perching on the edge of bed near her lazing form he takes one of her hands in his, like in her dream, but this time raises it to his lips and gently plants a kiss on the back of her hand.
She smiles peacefully, loving the affectionate action whilst silently wishing that he would ignore orders and get back into bed with her. Oh, how things have changed. She remembers when he used to frustrate the hell out of her for disregarding commands and now, she wants him to do just that.
Jane is grinning at her like he knows what she is thinking, but he is trying to do better at not letting people down, so he reluctantly gets up off the mattress and releases her hand. "I need to go." He announces and dips down to give her a peck on the lips before starting to retreat from the bedroom.
"Will you be back later?" Her question makes him halt in the doorway and when he turns to look back her, he looks overjoyed.
"Of course." It is amazing how quickly they've settled as a couple, how quickly her house is becoming his home. "I will call if I get caught up at work."
Lisbon feels a sense of loss at his departure and frowns, wondering what she could do to fill up her day.
Their days are almost complete polar opposites. He spends most of his in transit, from the FBI offices to the crime scene and then back again and then elsewhere to interview someone and back again… all the travelling is tiresome. Especially when you have the talkative Special Agent Kimball Cho as company.
On the flip side, she went back to sleep for a couple of hours and when she did eventually rise, she just moved to the couch and watched television. Day time shows are incredibly uninteresting, but it was kind of nice to be able to relax. Since leaving college, she hasn't actually had that much time off… and it was some time ago.
Eventually, she decides to get started on cooking dinner because that way she can greet her partner with fresh chilli con carne, no doubt he will be hungry.
One thing that their days have in common is the moments they found themselves daydreaming about the other person. Thinking about the things they have done as well as what they are yet to do. It is exciting. They may already know each other well but there are still so many elements they've yet to explore.
She is unconsciously singing to herself as she stirs the contents of the pot, the gentle simmering and the hiss of the gas accompanying her song, when her cell begins to ring on the counter behind her.
If that's Jane saying that he is not coming over after she has slaved away in the kitchen in anticipation she will not be impressed. But it isn't his name lighting up… it's Marcus Pike's. Suddenly her singing halts and a wave of nausea hits her. What does he want? She told him that they're done, that she isn't coming to D.C., he may have been heartbroken, but it sounded like he understood that.
Lisbon watches the phone ring out until the notification of a missed call flashes on the screen. Will he leave a message? She hopes he doesn't, because then she would feel obliged to call him back and that isn't something she wants to do. It was so hard before.
It is less than five minutes later when there is a knock on her door and briefly, she considers that it could be him. It could be Marcus on the other side. Then she remembers who else she is expecting and she's instantly chastising herself for being so stupid. "Something smells good." Is the first thing he says when entering her home.
And he's smiling and he looks incredible as always, despite just working a hectic ten-hour day. "I made chilli." She states and immediately he notices the anxiety in her tone, and she knows that he has noticed. It is written all over his face. "Go and sit down. I will serve it up." She plasters on a smile before walking away, so he doesn't quite get the opportunity to question her mood.
He would tail her and throw questions her way, but he knows what she is like, she would close up and to be honest, he doesn't blame her for that. Instead, he quietly goes and sits at the already laid table and takes a sip of the water at his place.
They make small talk over dinner. Jane tells her about a car that almost ran him off the road this morning on the way to the FBI and she talks him through the plot of some daytime cop soap that she found herself watching earlier. But he can perceive that she is just talking so he doesn't ask her about whatever is on her mind.
However, he is becoming increasingly worried, and he is done tiptoeing around the subject. "Are you okay?" He asks, his sea blue eyes searching her expression for some kind of response. If she weren't diverting her gaze, then he was hunt for the answers in her eyes.
"I'm fine." Her reply is curt, and she is quick to turning the attention back on him. "How is the case?"
"Meh, boring. Some drug cartel shooting." She distractedly hums as she continues to look anywhere but right at him. In this precise moment she finds a kidney bean on her plate particularly interesting. "Teresa, what is wrong?"
On hearing the use of her first name, Lisbon drops her fork onto the crockery with a sigh. There is no point hiding it any longer because she knows him, he is very persistent, but also, she doesn't want to deceive him about anything. "Marcus called."
Patrick sits back in his chair at this revelation. He certainly was not expecting that. "What did he want?"
"I don't know. I didn't answer." It isn't like her to run away from things, that is one thing he has always admired her for, her headstrongness. Avoiding an issue would be stressful to her, no wonder she is troubled. "Last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. He didn't deserve that."
"I know." A part of him, a very small part, does feel sorry for the man. Nonetheless, his girlfriend's wellbeing is much more important to him. "Sometimes, you have to be selfish though Lisbon." She looks horrified at the notion, there is not a self-centred bone in her body. "You have spent your life putting other people's needs before your own when your happiness is paramount. I know it is easier said than done but be selfish."
Life is too short. No-one knows that more than Patrick Jane. Yes, he has spent a fair amount of time in his life being self-seeking and greedy and not caring about the effect on other people but now he can see that being slightly selfish at times is no bad thing.
There have been too many murder victims they have bother investigated, who were lovely people and just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. They had no reason to die. Yet they did and they spent their lives forgetting about their personal welfare to help others. Although it is admirable, they still ended up dead and some of them could have had much better lives before that point if they were less focussed on others. It is all about getting a balance. That is what he believes anyway.
"Have you been outside today?" The mentalist asks and he can immediately understand from her demeanour that she has not. "Let's go for a walk. I will clear this up when we get back."
It is fresh outside. There is a slight dampness in the air as if it is going to rain but being in Texas, they know it is unlikely. It is dark, the streetlights and lamps at the front of other houses guide their way around her neighbourhood as they walk hand-in-hand. In daylight they wouldn't risk such an action, but they know right now they're unlikely to be spotted so take a gamble.
They haven't spoken on the subject of if they are going to be open about their relationship yet or not, and neither of them fancy that conversation right now so they decide not to mention it. It can happen another day. "This is nice." She comments and softly gives his hand a quick squeeze, bringing a grin to his face.
"It is." He agrees. "You feeling a bit better?"
"I am." Jane is relieved at this, he didn't really want to spend his night talking about Marcus Pike because although everything is fine now, he is with Lisbon, the thoughts of what could have been are too painful to envision. "Jane…" She murmurs, but quickly trails off the thought but he is now looking at her expectantly.
"What is it?"
They have almost finished their loop around the estate, having come across surprising few people and little vehicles have passed them. It feels private and maybe that's why she is considering opening up. "Do you ever think about the time we have possibly wasted?"
"How do you mean?" He furrows his brow at her question and inadvertently tightens his grip on her hand. It isn't too tight, but she detects the difference.
"We could have got together before now. We've known each other a long time."
"No, it came at the right time." He is quick to say, almost too quickly, and she realises it is because he has had this internal battle with himself before now. She is late to the game once again. "If we had started something back in Sacramento, then Red John could have harmed you and that would have killed me. Even if we had kept it so under wraps that he didn't know about it then it would have hurt me terribly when I had to leave."
The island, she grasps, his two years away. He makes a good point because that period of time was difficult for her and that was without this sort of relationship. "But what about when you came back-"
"We had stuff to work through." He interrupts. "Let's not have any regrets about the past because right now none of that stuff matters. Okay?"
"Okay." She replies but she sounds unsure.
The couple walk up the path towards her condo, fingers still tightly entwined, but although their stroll had been peaceful, he can sense the nervous energy radiating from her form, so he stops in his tracks. Lisbon is confused about his abrupt stopping but when she glances up at him, he is gazing at the full moon above.
It is bright in the sky with thousands of twinkling stars as company. There is nothing prettier than the night sky on a cloudless evening… apart from her of course. He doesn't think that there is anyone or anything on this planet that is more gorgeous than she.
Jane looks back down to her but now she is stood in front of him, looking bewildered, instead of to his side. The glow of the moon makes her green eyes sparkle, and he loves the fact he can spend as much time as he would like staring into them. "You're beautiful, you know that?"
A rosy hue appears on her cheeks accompanied by her lips curling up into a self-conscious smile. Making her melt at his compliments, when she is generally such a confident person, brings him inexplicable pleasure. It is like he has achieved something whilst also making her feel good, and that is his priority. "Stop it." She almost stutters and his heart virtually doubles in size.
"I will not." He replies, before dipping his head and kissing her tenderly with her arms snaking around his back, pulling him closer.
The lust-fuelled fire ignites within them both, the body heat between them stoking the roaring flames. Performing such a public display of affection in front of her home is not something Teresa ever thought she would partake in, but her brain has lost full functionality. "Come on." She murmurs seductively, breaking the kiss.
The sauciness in her voice has him grinning from ear to ear as she takes his hand and drags him towards the front door. She isn't expecting him to push her harshly against it and his mouth is on hers once more but this time with his hands roaming, exploring every curve, making her skin tingle in excitement.
She cannot help the breathy moan escape her lips when he starts to trail kisses down her neck and it forces her to remember where they are, and where that isn't is the privacy of her bedroom. "You are bit handsy aren't you." It isn't a criticism, definitely not, but an observation.
"I've only just started." He then winds his arms around her and gently squeezes her ass, she squeaks in surprise.
"Isn't the first time you've grabbed my ass."
"When did I grab your ass?" At her confession, he reluctantly pulled away from her now panting body with obvious confusion on his features. She raises her eyebrow at his puzzlement. "Before obviously just then."
"Three, four years ago in some bar when you were in a drunken, fugue state." Immediately, he looks appalled.
That few days after almost drowning on a case, when his memories were all muddled, is a time that he struggles to think back on. Not just because of the emotional severity of the situation but also because his mind doesn't allow him to remember. Ironic, he knows. "That's…" He struggles to find the words, but the horrified look hasn't left his appearance.
"It is fine, it is in the past during weird times." There is no point him being guilty about it now, it happened a long time ago and she knew at the time that it wasn't really him who did that, not really. Now, there are more pressing things to sort out. "Going back to you being handsy…" Her hint brings an alluring expression to his face before he leans down to kiss her once more.
Sometimes it is like the universe has something against them. Yes, neither of them has lived sin-free lives but they both think that the good they've done somewhat outweighs the bad. Apparently, someone doesn't feel that way.
His phone ringing, loudly from his pocket, interrupts the heat of the moment. They groan in unison. "Ignore it."
"When you were my boss, you would have lost it if I ignored your calls."
"You did ignore my calls." She reminds him, "And I don't care. Screw work, finish what you started." Who is this woman and what has she done with Teresa Lisbon? It humours him how her priorities have shifted since they've coupled up. Maybe he is actually rubbing off on her.
Jane straightaway notes the disappointment of his partner when he raises the device to his ear with a, "Hi Abbott." She unlocks her front door and steps inside, whilst looking back at him expectantly, hoping that this call doesn't mean he has to leave. "I will be right there." Never mind. It was wishful thinking; she knew that their boss wouldn't have rung at this hour if it wasn't important.
He hangs up the phone and replaces it in his pocket. "There has been another shooting, I need to check out the crime scene. Sorry." He seems genuinely guilty, but she is quickly shaking her head.
"It is okay." She hurriedly persuades because she understands. The job is like this and although she wishes he could stay, she knows the way of the world. Criminals aren't going to stop killing each other just because Lisbon wants to have sex. "I will see you tomorrow."
Grudgingly, after a kiss to her cheek, he walks away.
That feeling of loss hits her for the second time today and each instance is more difficult than the last. She audibly sighs but it turns into a grunt when she remembers all the washing-up she is going to have to do. It is definitely his turn next time, she thinks, before heading towards the mess.