Chapter 3

Whatever We Have To

The ICU room was dark, blinds drawn and lights off. Kelly Severide, under strict orders from Dr. Marcel to remain only a few minutes, entered silently. The room was quiet save for the various sounds made by medical equipment. The incredibly small figure on the bed, with tubes seemingly coming from everywhere, was completely still. Without all the gizmos attached, he might have looked as though he were sleeping peacefully, but the monitors told a different story. Jackson's breathing was too rapid and shallow and his heartbeat erratic. He was fighting, fighting hard, but the trauma to his little body may yet prove to be too much. "Touch and go," was Marcel's assessment of the current situation.

Kelly approached the bed cautiously. He wanted to touch his son, try to let him know he was there, but there seemed to be no place to touch that wasn't covered by a tube or pierced by a needle. He sighed, thinking about the utter unfairness of it all. From the way Jay told it, this kid had never once caught a break. Finally, he placed his broad, strong hand on the unkempt head of dark hair on the pillow.

"Hi," he whispered ever so softly. "We haven't actually met, but I'm pretty sure you know who I am. It's me. Kelly. I'm your dad." Unbidden, tears came to his eyes. If only he had known.

Crockett Marcel, ever the ladies' man, was flirting with a couple of nurses not far outside Jackson's door. The nurse who was watching the telemetry station called over, "Dr. Marcel, you may want to have a look at this." Marcel walked over. "Look at little Jackson's telemetry, Doctor. Am I seeing what I think I am?"

"Well, I'll be damned," breathed Marcel. "He's evening out some, isn't he?"

"That's how it looks to me, Doctor," the nurse answered.

Crockett looked a moment longer, watching as the telemetry equipment told the tale. Respiration slowing and deepening, heart rate steadying, oxygen saturation rising. "I will be damned," he said again.

In Jackson's room, Kelly Severide stood beside the bed, his hand on the little boy's shaggy hair, tears coursing down his face, as he whispered, "I'm here, bud, I'm right here. I can't stay long this time, but I swear I'll be back. You're not alone any more, Jack. Never again. You have my word, little man." As Marcel entered, Kelly looked up, dashing the tears from his face with his free hand. "I'll leave soon, I promise. Just give me a couple more minutes."

Crockett shook his head. "Oh, no. You're not going anywhere. I'm gonna have them bring in a chair, a cot if you need one."

"I didn't think that was allowed in the ICU."

"It isn't," answered the doctor, who had been apprised of the family situation earlier that day. "But we are gonna break that rule six ways from Sunday this time. This little boy knows you're here, and I suspect he knows exactly who you are. You being here is in his best medical interest, so I'm making the call."

Kelly gave him a puzzled look.

"His vitals changed for the better about thirty seconds after you walked in here. He needs you, Severide. So you're staying. Call whoever you need to, but you're stuck here until I say different."

Kelly answered simply, "Okay."

Stella had been totally on board with Kelly's feelings about his little boy. As soon as Jay left the station, Kelly found her in the turnout room and told her the story. "I have to take him, Stella. I know it's not what you signed on for, but-"

Stella never hesitated. "Of course, Kelly. We'll take him. You do have to. You wouldn't be the man I love if you didn't do that. But even if you didn't feel you had to, I would still want to. Poor baby. He needs people to love him."

Kelly wrapped her in his arms. "It probably won't be easy. He has a ton of baggage," he murmured in her ear. "And I'm not sure he'll be totally enthusiastic about the situation. He probably thinks he does just fine on his own. He's not just fine, obviously, but he probably thinks that, all the same."

"We'll do whatever we can, Kelly, whatever we have to. That little boy needs us."

Still holding her tightly, he said, "We may not be able to fix him, Stella. So much rejection; so much pain. I don't know. This is going to be...a lot."

"Still," she said, "whatever we can. Whatever we have to."

He moved her away and said, "Wait right here. I have something for you." Leaving her standing there looking puzzled, he made his way to his quarters.

He returned a few minutes later, one hand in the pocket of his squad jacket. Taking her by the hand, he led her to the common room. Most of the shift was there, as it was nearing lunchtime. "Hey, everybody! Listen up!" The room grew quiet. Turning to Stella, he said. "This isn't the way I planned this, but I can't wait another second. Stella Kidd, you are the most special woman I have ever known. You're my life, my world." Tears came to his eyes as he said, "I could never have made it through the last three years without you. I love you with all my heart." Getting down on one knee, he looked up at her, his eyes still swimming, and removed a small box from his pocket. Opening it, he revealed a diamond ring. "Stella, would you do me the honor, give me the privilege, of becoming my wife?"

Everyone held their breath. Stella, her own eyes brimming, simply said, "Yes. A thousand times, yes."

Kelly rose and put the ring on her finger as their 51 brothers and sisters applauded and cheered.

"About time," grumped Herrmann, and they all, including Kelly and Stella, laughed in agreement.

That had been mere hours ago, and Kelly was still reeling from the fact that she actually said yes, in spite of the current circumstances. As soon as the excitement was over, Kelly had gone to his captain

and explained what was going on. "I know I said you could stay at my place as long as you needed to," Severide told Casey, "but this is what you might call an unforeseen circumstance."

"I'll say," Casey replied dryly. "You know, it's about time for me to find my own place anyway. And Herrmann will probably let me stay in their apartment until I can do something different."

Kelly grinned. "We should name that place 'Nest 51' or something. It's becoming a thing."

Casey chuckled. "Yeah, it kind of is, isn't it?"

Kelly grew serious again. "Thanks for understanding, Matt.

"Any way that I can help, I will, Kelly. You know that."

"I do know that, and I'm grateful. And now, as my captain, I'm asking you to give me the rest of the shift off. I need to get to Med."

"Of course. Absolutely," Casey answered emphatically. "And if you need some more shifts off, or even a more extended furlough, let me know."

"I will," said Severide. Then his brow furrowed. "I hope I do need some time. I hope he makes it." And his voice broke at the thought of losing a son he'd never even known existed until today.

"So do I, Kelly. So do I."

And now Kelly sat here, in this quiet room, his hand still on the little boy's hair, praying to whatever God there might be for this child to survive and have a chance to know the love of a father, a mother, and a whole family of people at Firehouse 51.

An hour or so later, Stella eased into the room. A soft smile came to her face at the sight of her newly minted fiance seated next to the bed, his head on the mattress. His right hand was placed gently on the top of Jackson's head, and his left hand covered the smaller hand. He was sound asleep. She approached softly, placing her own hand on the back of Kelly's neck and massaging. He loved it when she did that. He muttered softly in his sleep, then woke and sat up to look at her. "Oh, hi," he smiled.

"Hi yourself," she whispered back. She nodded toward the cot that had been brought in along with the chair. "Why don't you stretch out for awhile? You're going to get stiff as a board sleeping like that. Dr. Marcel gave me permission to hang out for awhile. I'll sit with him. You need some rest. You've had a lot to process in the last twelve hours or so."

"So have you."

"Not the same. Don't argue. Just get some sleep. I promise I'll wake you before I go."

"Okay," he sighed grumpily, sounding for all the world as if he weren't much older than the boy in the bed. He rose, stretched, and stepped over to the cot, where he virtually collapsed, falling asleep as soon as he was prone. Stella, for her part, replaced him in the chair, one hand grasping that of the small patient, and the other on the tousled dark head. Jack slept on.

Despite her advice to Kelly, Stella herself soon fell asleep in much the same position he had been in. In the wee hours of the morning, Kelly woke and saw her. He smiled. After going in search of a bathroom, he returned to Jackson's room, gathered his love into his arms, and set her gently on the cot in his place before returning to Jack's bedside and resuming his former position.