Chapter 3

Angel's Kiss

Once everyone was gone, I lost my nerve to bring it up to Walker I wanted to become a part of the investigation. Especially with the Indian dude whispering in his ear about me.

The more I racked my brain to determine what he meant about the spirits. The more confused I made myself. So, I knew someone who might understand.

"Hey Jake."

"Well, I didn't think you would miss me this soon."

"Well, I do miss you. You don't have patrol tonight?"

"Nah, I have the night off. There isn't much to patrol since the Cull... So, how are things going?"

"Okay I guess..."

After we talked about the Jr. Ranger program. I explained to Jacob what had went down with the old man. Then he gave me some information to think about.

"Each tribe has there own interruption of the spirits. I can tell you how it has been explained to me by the elders. The great spirits are no more than a spiritual force, supreme being or a God to them. How you could even possibly wake them, is above what I know. If you want I will ask Dad and call you back."

"That's great but please don't tell Billy you are asking for me. I gotta go, talk to you later." The call ended more abruptly than I had expected. Walker came out to the porch. I didn't want to give away I knew what his friend had said.

"Beautiful night isn't it?"

"Yeah."

Once again I tried to speak with him about the assignment. I took in a few deep breaths to work up the courage to get it out. "Walker, Trivet is on the phone for you. He says it's important." Alex's head popped out the screen door and I knew I had no chance in hell of talking to him tonight.

So I plopped down on the step while Walker went to answer the phone. But to my surprise when he came out he was wearing his hat and Ranger star. He never went anywhere without it. "Bella do you want to go with me on a case?"

"Sure."

He gave the opportunity of a ride a long. It didn't take me long to get in the truck either. I was thrilled until we pulled up to a chaotic scene with flashing red and blue lights glowing in the darkness. Then I seen people bent over someone on the ground, it turned to sadness quickly.

"Do not get out of the truck."

It was the only comment Walker made since we left the house. You'd of thought I would have listened as well. But there was something overpowering me to get closer. I broke out in the same hot sweat as before, my sight started blurring in the same way too. The knocking, that damn knocking was all I heard. Only there were no doors around this time to explain who was trying to get in. Except the one my hand rested on as it turned the handle on it's own as I got out of the truck.

Sure, I should have stayed in place as I was told to but I didn't. The mangled body pieces were in clear sight the closer I got. The blood spilled here tonight was hauntingly eerie. I could literally hear their screams in my head.

The only relief from it was my hands clamped over my ears as though it was still taking place in front of me, I was watching them die. Which brought on my own shrills in the night. I dropped to my knees as the terror took over my entire body.

"Jasper. Get Bella outta here." With all the commotion, which I made most of the noise, I wasn't certain if it was Trivet giving him the order or not.

When I couldn't get off the ground on my own, Jasper literally carried me back to the truck. I was as frozen to the dirt as he was in time. "Stay here." Was all he said when left to go back to the scene.

Once it was out of sight, I could catch my breath again. It was as though nothing transpired. "What the hell is happening to me?"

There was no indication I was having a mental breakdown. Well, none that I thought made sense anyway. The others however, just witnessed what they thought was a weakness to the crime scene or I was fucking losing it. Either way, it didn't look good what they watched. Since I was trying to become one of them. I seriously doubted I would get an invitation back to another ride along.

"When I tell you do to something, you do it. This is not a game and your safety is important to me. Do you understand?" This was a first for Walker. I could hear the agitation in his voice. It was understandable as I disobeyed the commanding officer and the one who was kind of enough to take me in his home.

Although, I had heard this a thousand times from Edward. My safety was always the excuse he used to get his way on something. 'Are you going down to the reservation again? It's not safe to be around Jacob. Bella, you have to understand your safety is everything to me.'

'Jacob is not going to hurt me.' I felt it in my heart. He wasn't a threat to me or any other human. It was Edward he hated and he wanted hurt or destroy. Jacob had nothing but love for me. Which I tossed away without a second thought because I could never get past Edward.

'Not intentionally, but the wolves have no control.' Edward had the last word on it. We done it his way that night. I stayed away from the reservation and Jacob.

The truth was I had no control over anything in life because I let Edward make those decisions for me. All because I wanted to please him and didn't want him to leave me. Then he just left without a warning.

"Bella, do you understand?"

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I understand and it won't happen again. Will you tell me who died tonight?"

Those kids were partying on the train tracks when it smashed them, they were high on the new street drug and probably never seen it coming until it was too late. The same drug the Rangers were working so hard to shut down. They were only a couple of years younger than I was. One little pill ended it all for them.

The ride back was quiet and somber. Mostly because I didn't want to piss off Walker anymore than I already had. Also, because I couldn't stop thinking about what I seen and how that damn drug was destroying lives.

Before I got out of the truck, Walker drove the point home again. "Now do you understand why I don't want you to be a part of this?"

"If I am going to try to ever be a real Ranger. It is exactly why I need to do this."

The sigh which came from Walker was heard loudly by me. After what happened with the kids tonight, he knew his options were limited and time was running out to find them. "Fine, you can go back to school with Jasper to find out where the parties are going to be. But that is it."

There was nothing else which needed to be said. This would become my make it or break it moment. I won a little victory tonight. But it was still a question if I could handle it or not. If I could fulfill the role.

Only I wasn't alone. Trivet had dropped off Jasper too. "Bella, can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Sure." Well, this was definitely different. Jasper actually wanted to talk and not ignore me.

"What happened out there?" I just shrugged at his question as I couldn't explain it to him because I didn't even know myself. "Did you forget, you cannot lie to me? I feel what you feel. What I felt tonight was gut wrenching. It almost brought me to my knees. I have a hard enough time with control around blood without this." A new revelation was out of the bag. He was still trying to control his thirst. He was as messed up as I was just in different ways.

"I never saw a dead body before. I guess I freaked out a little."

It was where it was left and needed to get dropped. The next morning when I rode in with Walker. Still I noticed Jasper just watched me when we arrived. It was hard to fool the emotional meter he was, as a vampire it was his gift. But I tried my best to focus on the great day ahead of me. I would not give him any indication of what I really felt.

"You will attend the morning meeting with the other Rangers. Grab a seat and I will be in shortly."

The room was large with nothing but rows of tables and chairs. The front held a podium and other equipment along with a board. On it was probably twenty photos of kid at various ages.

"They have all overdosed." Jasper answered the curiosity I had about them. I only nodded to him as I took a seat and waited on Walker. "Bella, we need to get along to make this work. I am willing to try if you are."

"Sure."

"What is going on with you?"

"I'm fine." Was all he got back from me. As others started to filter in. This wasn't the time nor the place for us to discuss anything.

Of course, everyone seemed to look at both of us in strange way. As though they already made up their minds we didn't belong in here. I had a newsflash for them, I never felt I belonged anywhere. So, they weren't getting a cherry if they expressed it too.

When Walker came in their whispers stopped immediately. Their attention went straight to him. At least the focus went off me so I was happy.

"Angel's Kiss." Walker held up a small clear baggie, on the white strip in the middle of it had a red crossbones stamped on it. "This is what we are looking for. It is sold to kids at rave parties, they believe it is pure ecstasy. In reality is it ecstasy cut with PCP. They start to become delusional and see things that aren't there. The kids probably never realized they were in any kind of danger when they were killed by the train last night. This case takes top priority."

We were each given a packet of information to study, to know all the facts of what it contained. When I came to the pictures of the two seventeen year old girls and the eighteen year old boy who was killed by the train, it weighed heavily on my heart. They had parents who weep their loses, they had a bright future ahead of them. The boy was to begin college on a football scholarship soon. The girls were probably making plans for prom already.

Only one choice you made changed the entire course of your life. In reality everything in life was damn choices made; happiness, sadness, love and hate. So you better choose wisely because even some lead to your death.

'I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be.' At that moment I made the choice to not walk away from Edward when he said it. If anything I pushed harder to get closer to him.

There was no question about it, I fell in love with him. It wasn't forced upon me. But I didn't just stay with him by default. I stayed with him because I choose to, every day that I woke up, every day that we fought, when he lied to me and through the disappointment of each other. I choose him over and over again, above everyone else. The problem was he never chose me back.

"This is Jr. Ranger Bella Swan and Jasper Smith. They are going to help us find out where and when the next rave party is. It is moved every weekend to a new location to make it hard on us to get close to the drugs."

When I heard my name being said. I snapped my head in Walker's direction. Only to find everyone in the room was starring at me and Jasper. Tomorrow would be the first assignment we were given. It would be the first commitment to the Rangers. It would be the first day I would made choices with a consciousness of the consequences of them.

"That's all. Be be safe out there. Bella and Jasper, I want to speak with you."

It already felt like we were sent to the principals office when we followed Walker to his. He poured himself a cup of coffee and brought out something I thought I'd never see. He laid two Texas silver stars on the desk.

"You are acting in an official capacity of the Texas Rangers to find out where the parties are held. Nothing more. I want to make it clear to you, do nothing more than that. A Ranger will be posted on school grounds undercover while you are there. They will protect you. You need to check in with them by text when you get to school and when you leave. Again, do nothing else except for what I just explained to you. This is not a game and you will get hurt."

Jasper's hand reached for the star. He held it tightly gripped in his palm. "Thank you, Walker. I will make you proud."

"I know you will. I know you both will. Now, go get your school identification and cover information. You cannot use your real names."

Jasper acted humbled by all this. It was hard to figure him out sometimes. I could have brought it up but I decided it was best left alone like other things I wanted to forget.

"Walker will make a great dad. He truly cares about everyone."

"What are you talking about?"

"Alex is pregnant. You are helping her make a baby blanket."

"No, it's not hers. It is for a friend."

"I hear the baby's heartbeat, she is pregnant."

"Are you sure?" I should have thought it through before I even said it. "Of course you are."

After I thought back, it made sense. Alex was sick to her stomach the day I came into the kitchen, sick frequently actually. She also touched it a lot but I thought it was because she was having issues. Her glow lately said it all. Except why she hadn't told anyone yet.

Once the paperwork was completed, we were given our fake school identifications. We used our real first names but false last ones so they wouldn't know our identity. Jasper had done this a million times, gone to back to high school with fake intents. It was a whole new world for me though.

"Do you want a ride back to the ranch?"

"Yes. That's great."

It surprised me a bit Jasper offered without prompting from anyone. Although, Alex was the one on my mind. Charlie gave me a few hundred dollars for expenses. I hadn't spent a dime of it so far. So I decided, I wanted to get Alex something on the way home.

"Can we stop here for a minute?"

Jasper waited for me in the truck. Really I wasn't sure what to buy as a baby present for her. "What the hell is a swaddle?" The package gave very little information too. Your baby's natural, safe sleep position is with their legs splayed in a frog like position. The swaddle allows your baby to sleep in this position without restriction.

What I loved about it was the love to dream wrote on it. A baby needed to have big dreams when they grew up. I had some once upon a time. So, I threw it in the cart. Along with a few onesies and booties that matched. But when I came across it, it reminded me of the one I used to carry around. The floppy eared grey elephant rode in the seat of the cart to the check out.

"I don't think I've seen you smile since you've been here until today."

Jasper startled me a bit. I jumped when he spoke because I didn't even notice he was around. Some damn detective I would make. Guess I better work on paying more attention to my surroundings.

"I used to have an elephant and it reminded me of it."

He didn't say anything else until we checked out. Once it was rang up, he handed cash over to the lady. "Before you argue with me about it. The way your felt here, brought me a little peace too. Priceless." Then he turned around and walked out.

The thought was there all the way home to ask what he meant. But we got along and I didn't want to push or spoil it considering we were going to be spending the next few days together. Maybe this was a peace offering. Maybe he let his guard down. Maybe it really meant nothing at all.

"Thank you for the ride."

"You're welcome."

It was the end of it. Jasper went his way and I went mine. I was eager to get this wrapped up before Alex got home. But I would wait until she told Walker to give it to her. The last thing I wanted was to intrude on their moment.

"Bella, I'm home."

Alex was early. I stuck the stuff I hadn't wrapped yet back in bag and tossed it in the bottom of the closet. "Hi."

"I bought you a few things for school tomorrow." It was kind of her but I wasn't exactly thrilled of the idea to play dress up or to wear makeup again.

"Thank you." I felt horrible she went out of her way. Besides, I wasn't much on keeping up with fashion. "I thought I would make dinner. If it is okay with you?"

"That's really sweet of you. I have a ton of work to do. I will get started on it now then."

Alex went on to her room. While I chose what to make. I tried to set the table pretty like she had since I'd been here.

When she came out for a glass of water. She stopped and smiled when she got a look at it. "You done a great job."

"Thanks."

Walker and Alex thanked me over and over for something as simple as cooking for them. I was the one who was grateful they had welcomed me in there home.

After I cleaned up the kitchen I went to get ready for bed. Tomorrow was a school day after all. I laughed to myself a little. Yet nothing I done for hours would let me get to sleep so I would be ready for it.

Finally I got up and made a hot cup of tea. As I opened the sliding door to set outside at the picnic table, I heard a commotion at the barn. My last late night outing hadn't gone so well. But I went anyway.

It caught me off guard a bit. There he was was with the black wild horse trotting around the corral. It was a thing of great beauty, he bowed his neck as he almost danced with Jasper on his back. His long tail swished with each of his movement.

This ride was without a saddle or the garb they normally wore. This ride was poetry in motion as they moved as one. This ride was interrupted when I plopped on the ground to watch them. Jasper hopped effortlessly off his back to the ground.

"How do you do that? I thought no one can ride him."

"The horse respects my inner beast, I respect his." After jasper took the bridle off and smacked the horse on the ass, he took off like a shot. So happy to have freedom. "Do not say anything to anyone."

"I won't. You can trust me."

He seemed to shrug off what I had said. I not only said but meant it as well. "You should help control your fear, once you have mastered it. You can move on. Get on a horse, start there, I will help you."

"I can't. But thanks anyway."

"Suit yourself." He was done with his ride and this conversation as he headed back to the barn.

"Hey Jasper, do you control your fear?"

"Everyday you are around me Bella."

RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER~RANGER

"This is for your first day of school." Alex put a white box on the table, it even had bow on it. She was giddy this morning, I was nervous as hell. She had done so much for me already.

"Thank you. I love it." She bought me a jean jacket. I hadn't owned one before. It was kinda cool. I sort of felt bad about it. She had bought me so much.

"You're welcome honey. I have to run. Have a great day at school."

It sounded so strange for someone to say it to me. Especially since I had graduated. But when I walked out the door, I had to smile. Jasper had washed and shined his truck until it was a spectacular ride.

"Are you seriously going to wear your cowboy today?"

"You're in Texas Bella. Everyone owns a hat."

"I don't."

Once again I stood out as the odd duck I guessed. When we pulled up to the parking lot and existed the truck, I was certain of it. I didn't exactly stand out in the crowd in a good way. Man, Jasper however, had all their attention. Mostly the girls. That wrangler butt of his drove them nuts. Although, he seemed to ignore all of them.

"What is your first class?"

"Biology." It almost pained me to say it. Fate had a way of just shoving it down my throat.

We compared our schedules and would meet up at lunch. Jasper sent a quick text to the number Walker gave us as a heads up, we arrived. As we entered the school, it was sea of cowboy hats wall to wall. I lost Jasper as he went on to his classroom as he blended in with them.

It was as awkward today being the new kid as it was before in Forks. The teacher took the form they gave me and instructed me to the back of the room. As they all stared at me, I felt like I had back then too. Only this time I didn't keep my head down to avoid eye contact with them, I held my head high as I took my seat.

A couple of the girls were snickering as they whispered among themselves. It was rather obvious they were talking, gossiping about me. They had no fucking idea what kind of person I was or what I had been through.

"I guess somethings never change."

"They're stuck up. Ignore them."

The boy flashed me a smile when I glanced over at him. I barely gave him one back. But I noticed he too had a cowboy hat hanging off the back of his chair.

As the teacher began with the lesson, I had learned some which kept flashing back from Forks. At least today the reaction was different from when I met Edward.

As I entered the room, the fan caught my hair. Edward immediately brought his hand up to his nose, almost violently. Which at the time I thought I had a fowl odor. The cold, icy stare of his black eyes went straight through me. He just set there looking pained and wouldn't talking. Never once, had he hid the fact it was due to me.

The entire hour his fists were clinched, he kept his distance as much as he could when I sat down beside him. He rushed out the door seconds before the bell rang. His sullen attitude and the annoyance he hadn't hid well stood out even more in the office as I entered through the door.

When Edward tried to change class so he didn't have to be near me, and when the office woman says he couldn't, I should have known then. 'I guess I will just have to endure it then.'

No one should ever feel as I had. No person should have to be endured. Why it didn't set off a blazing fire it would never work, was beyond me. Maybe I was to wrapped up in him to understand it then. Maybe I was too young to find the true meaning of it all. Maybe I wanted to be loved more than I valued myself at the time.

"Stay in your seats. I will be right back."

The teacher was called to the office. I done as he instructed quietly until I could hear them, they made certain everyone heard them. "The new girl is just weird. She is ugly too." I wasn't much for doing my hair, it was up in pony tail. No makeup on my face and I practically lived in a t shirts anymore. Yet, they had no right to damage someone's self esteem, to take away from them just for stature. Above all else, you should never feel you weren't a part of something or simply being endured.

It was all I could take. I made a snap judgement in which I would probably be sorry for later. Or maybe I finally grew from my past experiences and started to value myself.

"If you have something worth saying. Say it already and get it all out. Or shut the fuck up and stop being bitches." They gave me a hateful look but said no more. Once you called someone out, they made a choice too. They could carry on with it and see where it went. Or stop it before it escalated. The stare back I gave should have told them, I was good with playing this out all the way, no matter how they chose for this to go down.

But then the reality sank in. I was here to get the job done. Not sort out my fucked up emotions as they were worn for those around me to see. So I opened a book and drifted off from this shit.

"Yeah, what she said." The guy beside me was amused by it. At least he was because I was not at my sudden outburst.

"Okay. Lets get started."

After the teacher returned, the beginning quickly became the end of the day. Jasper and I had finished it without any information to report back to Walker though. I would work harder to blend in more, as much as I hated the idea, socialize with others tomorrow.

"You did great today Bella."

"I sort of didn't actually. I called a couple of girls bitches. But don't worry, I got myself under control and I am ready to do a better job tomorrow."

Jasper snickered a bit about it. "Well, were they bitches?"

"Yeah."

"Then I guess they had it coming. I will pick you up in the morning."

"Okay, I will be ready."

Although, I had a lot to get prepared for. I searched through the drawers, I didn't pack any nice clothes. But when I went through the bags of stuff Alex got for me, I found a denim skirt and top which would pair well with my new jacket.

Part of the problem was I never considered myself fashionable. The other part was I had totally let myself go. Even my hair was dull from months of not eating and split ends because I simply hadn't taken care of it. There were times Charlie didn't think I would make it. To be honest, neither had I.

"Bella I'm home." Everyday she announced her arrival when she came through the door.

"Do you think we can go to town? I want to get something done with my hair."

"Absolutely. I will text Walker and get take out while we are in town."

Alex was thrilled I wanted to go. If she only knew what a big step this actually was for me take. If I wanted to become a Ranger, I had to work harder for it. All the way there she made suggestions, hell, she spoke a language I wasn't familiar with about it too.

There was one point I made clear to her and the stylist. "I do not want to fuss over my hair every morning."

"With you length and thickness, I have just the cut. But first, I want to put a few highlights through it. If you want to?" Alex nodded several times for encouragement.

"Okay. I will try it."

When I set down in her chair, in front a large mirror, the highlights changed the entire look I was used to even wet. But when she started cutting, I got worried because of how much hair laid on the floor.

Quickly she turned the chair away when she seen the distressed look on my face, so I faced the wall instead. "No peaking until I'm done." I just kept reminding myself, I wasn't the same person who left Forks. A new look would be alright. The worst case scenario if I hated it, it would grow out.

She had a gentle touch, which I liked a lot. Her fingers massaged the product down to the end strains of my hair. It wasn't long after she blow dried it, she grabbed the straightener.

"Tell me what you think?"

"Wow." It looked so good. The highlights framed my face in a way I hadn't expected. The layers she put in it gave it bounce and life again without taking off a lot of length.

"All you have to do is blow dry with a round brush. Then use the straightener to get the sleek look."

"You look beautiful." Alex was pleased as well.

"I don't have a straightener. Do you have one I can borrow?"

"We will stop and get you one."

As we walked down the street. A random lady told me how much she liked my hair. It made me feel better than I had in such a long time. Then in the store window I saw them. A pair of red cowgirl boots which came a few inches above the ankle. They were so pretty.

"I will buy those for you if you want them."

Jasper was correct. Walker and Alex would make perfect parents. They were so loving and giving to those around them. "I have a better idea."

We had a deal, I would buy the boot with my own money. If Alex allowed me to buy her something too. Since she had boots already. She picked out a pair of black sandals. "What do you think?"

"They look great on you." Almost every single thing she wore looked great. She was classy and sassy.

Even I had to admit this little trip done wonders for an ego boost. Maybe it was just what I needed. After we stopped to get pizza. We went back to the ranch.

When I looked in the mirror to brush my teeth to get ready for bed, I actually wore a smile. It was something new as well. It was also the best night's sleep. Not once I had tossed, turned or saw horrible things. When I got out of bed I felt refreshed. It was hard to believe getting my hair done was why. But I would definitely not question it.

But there were so many products in front of me to put on a little makeup. I went simple, moisturizer, foundation, a minimal layer of mascara and light gloss on my lips. If I was ready or not I had go. Jasper honked the horn when I wasn't outside waiting for him.

"You look good Bella. I like your hair."

"Thanks Jasper."

He gave me the side eye all the way to school. But never said anything. The tension wasn't as thick as normal between us, so, I would not question this either.

Only this morning wasn't the same as yesterday. I got a few looks too when I existed the truck. It was not just him. But one of them stood out. "Good morning Bella."

"Hi." The boy who was beside me in Biology yesterday. Since I didn't know his name, I just greeted him. Although, that was how it all began with Edward. I would not make the same mistake again.

"I'll see you in class."

"Okay."

It reminded me of Jessica Stanley this morning. She was so upset when the Cullens and others gave me attention. 'Oh my God! It's like first grade all over again, and you're the shiny new toy.' Hell, I felt sort of like a shiny new toy, at least, a new shiny Bella.

"Who is that?"

"I don't know what his name is."

"He seems to know yours."

"He sits beside me..."

"I will walk you to class." Jasper offered to walk me class. What the hell was going on here? But it did put a little a pep in my red boots step.

My main focus was kept on how to make as many friends as I possibly could, to fit in with them, move as they had and win over their confidence to get an invitation to the rave party. Which was what I had done all morning. But never once had any of the kids brought up a party.

Although, in between classes, I went to the bathroom like the rest. I done a hair check just like them. It was tiring too. Once again, I heard nothing of any interest.

By the time lunch rolled around, I needed a break from trying to fit in with those around me. It was so much damn work. It was no wonder why I never done it before. Who they hell cared who had a crush on which boy.

The lunch tray was before me as I waited for Jasper. When I looked up I seen the Cullen entrance all over gain. 'Who are they?'

Jessica never missed an opportunity to gossip or continuously chatter on. 'They're, um, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's foster kids. They moved down here from Alaska, like, a few years ago. Uh, the blonde girl, that's Rosalie, and the big dark-haired guy, Emmett, they're like a thing. I'm not even sure that's legal. It's weird...and, okay, the little dark haired girl is Alice. She's really weird, and, um, she's with Jasper, the blonde one who looks like he's in pain. That's Edward. He's totally gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him.'

Maybe if I found the Jessica at this school I could get somewhere. She knew everything that went on with everyone. I would keep searching for her, trust me, there was one. I just hadn't met her yet.

When the blonde one entered the lunchroom he didn't act like the boy in pain anymore. Jasper wore a smile and was with a couple of guys. He seemed to fit in with them perfectly.

"I got us invitation to one of the kid's house this weekend." He was thrilled because of it too.

"For what?"

"To hang out with them. Maybe they will give us the party information."

"That's great. You did great Jasper."

He done a slight tip of the hat before he took it off and hung it on the back of the chair. He really didn't even resemble the blonde one at all. He was still hard for me to figure out though. Perhaps he had moved on from the Cullens and I didn't know the person he had become.

"What's wrong Bella? You don't seem very happy by what I told you?"

"I am. It's just, I don't really socialize much with others. I am use to being a lone wolf, so to speak. So going to their house is a big step for me. I..."

We were interrupted when the boy from Biology came over to our table. Dave introduced himself further this morning. "I'm wondering if you want to get some dinner this weekend?"

"She can't. We have plans." Jasper quickly answered before I had a chance to.

"Oh. Well, another time then."

"Sure." It wasn't like I was going to be around long enough to accept his offer. So it really didn't matter much.

Jasper mumbled loudly enough I heard him when Dave left. "He's an ass."

"He seems alright."

"You wouldn't think so if you knew he felt when he's around you." Jasper immediately put his hat back on when he stood up. He gathered up our lunch mess but not before he brought up something from our past. I had forgotten about. "Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly? You obviously have the same blindness."

Talk about a blast from the past. Once I remembered the entire conversation we had, I couldn't believe it meant anything to him. Once the bell rang, I hustled to the next class because I was already tardy.

For the rest of the day, I felt sluggish. I really wanted to get it over with and on to the weekend. It could be the biggest breakthrough on the case yet. If we could connect with the kids enough they trusted us with the information. Besides, it meant not having to attend school anymore as well.

Once the final bell rang, I shot out the door. But Jasper was nowhere around. Maybe he was with the guys he met still. I watched most leave until the parking lot only a had a handful of vehicles were left.

Then I noticed something really peculiar. The licenses plates had something in common. The ones left in the parking lot had the exact repeated numbers on each vehicle. The light which flashed for us stop before entering the road in front of the school began flashing the same numbers.

But it was the butterflies I watched closely. They flew across the road in a huge quantity towards the woods. The trees, bushes and places on the ground was completely covered by them.

The once bright white light, turned to colored spirals in front of me. The orbs called me, they begged me to follow. A white silhouette slipped off in those woods, it had no specific form or shape to it. It was an awaking for me, it made me aware of myself. As I stepped across the road to it.

The fear should have been prominent, it should have taken over my body by now to face the unknown. Yet, I felt nothing and went in the same direction I seen it go in. If the woods could talk, knew our secretes, I would have been screwed already.

This was just like that day. I went towards the woods, towards Edward Cullen, towards the vampires. It was always gloomy where he was concerned outside and inside my heart.

"Who are you?" Their presences was there, it was for me to discover them. "I know you are here."

Still, we played this cat and mouse game. Whatever it was, it had latched on to me since I arrived. The hold it took gripped me in ways, I never thought possible.

But so had Edward. I knew he was different, I knew he was from another place, another time. I had to face him, I had to know the truth. 'How old are you?'

'Seventeen.' His voice dropped lower as it came out of his mouth.

Then came the most obvious question from me. 'How long have you been seventeen?'

'A while...'

Edward begrudgingly took me to the meadow, which became our meadow. It was our refuge from the world, from prying eyes. But not before he tried to strike the fear of god in me with the monstrous things about him. Only I hadn't ever feared him.

It brought me back to this place, out of the past. "I will be watching." My head snapped in different directions to find who said it. To find what was out in the woods with me. However, I seen nothing. Even the butterflies had all but disappeared.

Those words kept echoing throughout me. The last time I heard it was from Jacob. He showed up at prom to crash it, when I went with Edward as my date. Billy sent Jacob with a message just for me to hear. 'Just don't get mad, okay? Dad wants you to break up with your boyfriend. It's just, he said quote, we'll be watching you.'

The wolves knew the Cullen secret before I knew theirs. When you held secrets, told lies to cover them up. It was torturous to your soul. If you kept it close to you for no one else to know, it ate away at you. If you told someone, it destroyed lives and yourself somewhat. There were only two types of secrets; the kind you wanted to keep in and those you didn't dare to let out to the world.

You had to tuck the secrets away in a hidden place deep down, the unlikely most guarded part of you. So those who didn't believe in magic and the unimaginable would never find them. Maybe they knew what I guarded, maybe they knew what I hadn't discovered yet.

"Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?" It was screamed at the top of my lungs to get drowned out by that damn knocking inside my head.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Did you see that, did you hear it?"

"Did I see what and hear what?"

Once I established Jasper seen nothing I had and regained my senses. It was past time to get out of these damn woods. "I'm not feeling so well. I need to go back to the ranch and lay down."

"Yeah. It's probably best."

This was another breakdown, another dream or whatever I had when I was fully awake. Something unexplained was happening to me. It was primal, it was bizarre and it was frightening. This was uncharted territory for me. I had no idea how to process it, deal with it or get it under control.

It was almost as if my body and soul were battling with each other. The mutiny it caused within was rigor towards something I hadn't discovered yet. Traumatized people chronically felt unsafe and insecure inside their own bodies. I had dealt with it since he left.

The past was still alive in the form which it gnawed interior at me constantly. There were no doubts I still had issues to deal with from it all. But this was nothing like I had experienced before. The warning signs were flashing everywhere I looked.

"Bella. Bella do you hear me?"

"What?"

"I will pick you up tomorrow night."

"Okay."

As soon as I stepped out in the breeze. The air blowing in my face made me feel a better. Maybe I was just cracking up and needed to check myself in to the hospital? Maybe I felt the stress of being here? Maybe I had no damn clue what was coming my way?

"How was school today?" Alex said with a slight giggle.

"It was alright." I had to put on brave face, act as though nothing was wrong. I had done it a million times before. Walker could never know what was going on with me. He wouldn't trust I could perform my duties as a Ranger then.

"Charlie called. Your birthday is next week. We will have a party."

Panic set in when Alex spoke those forbidden words. It was slap in the face to me, I felt from across the room. Alice said those same words with the same enthusiasm. It was the same night it all happened. It was the same time I lost everything.

"I don't celebrate those anymore."

Once the door was closed behind me. I closed off the thought of him and his family. The carpet would get worn out as much as I paced on it. I couldn't get myself to calm down, I couldn't catch my breath.

There was one person who could usually talk me down off the ledge. In my mind, I had all ready started to fall to a full fledged plunge in the darkness. I knew it was late when it rang, he was probably out on patrol by now. But I called him anyway.

"Hey Jake. It's Bella. When you get a chance call me back."

The voices got louder as they approached the kitchen. When I heard my name, I wanted to know what they were saying. "How is Bella doing? Has she had anymore episodes?"

"Bella has done a great job. She made the contact I told you about. We're going to their house tomorrow night."

"Good. What is your opinion of her becoming a Ranger?"

"She will make a hell of a Texas Ranger. You have nothing to worry about Walker."

Jasper gave me the credit for what he had done. He also covered for the breakdown he witnessed me have today. It made me more determined to become a better partner to him in this assignment. I brought out the folder and read again everything in it.

But I made no progress in that area this evening. So I put it away for the night and would hit it hard tomorrow. The one thing which kept running through my mind, the one thing I couldn't shake; the angel's kiss. Was it the devil coming to earth to deliver it personally? Was it a sign I needed to change my ways? Was it for me only to see and come to understand? Or was it I officially went off the deep end turned fucking crazy and none of it was real?

There had to be a distraction from all this. I had to find one. For hours I set on the porch to just watch the stars above. I wished on them, maybe, even prayed a bit on them. "There is no damn way I am having a party."

"Who is having a party?" Walker came out of the house to join me. As late as it was, he couldn't sleep either. Probably a lot weighing on his mind as well. Which, since I came, a lot of it could have been caused by me.

"Alex wants to have one but I don't. My birthday is next week. I would like to forget it."

"I will talk to her. I don't promise anything but I will speak to Alex about it."

"Thanks."

It had been one year since the incident. I relived it every single day and the after effects of it. In life, a sudden situation, a moment in time, altered your whole life. It forever changed you.

I hope you enjoyed reading me!

How many of you think you get what is going on with Bella? I am excited to hear from you. Leave it in a review or send me a PM. I would love to get your perception on it.

Snow White and Seven Naughty Wolves, Roaming Love of Endless Time, Psyched Vampires, Circling the Crow, Chasing Jacob and MY JOURNEY will be updated next. I think I have hit my groove again. I've been writing like crazy.

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