AN: Hello there, loyal readers and tumbleweeds of the internet. It is we, Wyvern and the Warhawk! The biggest troublemakers of the wild west bringing you yet another installment of everyone's favorite glutton pink blob-girl!

AtW: Well, one of the ones we write. Pink seems to be our color. Also, we're slowly starting to try and ramp back up. It won't be TOO much, but our writing IS happening.

CW: We did warn this would be something of a slow month so thank you for waiting patiently. We should try and make the rounds of our commissions and then head back to our own ideas in the coming weeks.

Until then, enjoy! And get to reading!

Smorgasbord III

Sophia Hess

'Fuck.'

Sophia wanted to swear.

She wanted to scream it at the top of her lungs, again and again, to curse as loudly as she could and to make herself as clear and understandable as humanly possible. To scream out so loudly they would hear her on the other side of the Bay.

Maybe, just maybe, that would help people understand how she felt in this exact moment. With a very familiar man standing before her, a screen behind him was playing what seemed like a video recording of Sophia at the top of her game - the young predator showing that spineless pushover Hebert just how much of a worthless waste of air she was.

'Shut up!'

The teenager glared at the slightly blurry image of herself on the screen.

Didn't keep her from pushing the rail thin girl, the sound of lockers rattling on her ears as the recording continued despite her glaring holes into it. Right now the sheer, seething anger she felt should have let her suddenly develop a Blaster rating and shut up the idiotic girl who was blatantly violating her parol agreement. And it was seriously starting to grate on her nerves as Armsmaster stood there out of costume, still managing to look as infuriatingly inscrutable as ever.

Well, aside from the occasional grimace when the recording of her would let out a particularly heavy insult.

'Fuck!'

It bore repeating.

Sophia didn't understand why this was happening. Obviously, Hebert had recorded her and obviously the recording ended up in the hands of one of the very few people that was genuinely willing to bust her balls. Someone she couldn't mouth off to or threaten. Because he was the fucking leader of the local protectorate.

Only Piggy was higher up the food chain when it came to the Wards.

And Sophia didn't see herself convincing the hardass that the girl on the screen just happened to be her twice removed cousin who just so happened to be visiting.

'Think, Sophia!'

Adapt, overcome. Her mind was racing and Sophia took a deep breath, reorganizing her thoughts and trying to cut away the parts she didn't need to focus on. Clearly, Hebert had found out about her identity somehow and, rather than try to confront her about it and getting her bony ass curb stomped, the scrawny bitch decided to take it up with the Protectorate like a coward. It doesn't matter how she found out about her being Shadow Stalker, or how that shit show managed to get into Armsmaster's hands, and right now she needed to wrack her mind for a way out of this.

One that doesn't include becoming a wanted fugitive.

Or getting thrown into juvie.

'Like Hell am I getting thrown into a fucking facility.'

Fortunately, the recording seemed to finally run out. The screen fading to black with an echo of her and the girls taking another potshot at the other teenage girl's dead mother. Because of course fucking Hebert would catch that one just to screw her over.

'Fucking awesome.'

"Explain." The man demanded, simply.

And Sophia wasn't taking that shit laying down.

"Can she even do that? I didn't consent to being recorded."

Armsmaster raised an eyebrow, the man sitting in an absolutely normal steel chair, at an absolutely normal metal table, wearing an absolutely normal PRT jumpsuit..

"Did I say you were under arrest?"

Confused, Sophia wasn't sure how to react. So she went on the offense.

"So you're ok with some slu-girl. Some girl at school breaking the law?"

Her tone was definitely insubordinate, but right now that seemed like the least of her problems. So she kept attacking.

"You really think I'm just gonna let some old man keep a recording of me, an underage girl?"

That actually made him laugh. A deep, humorless thing that was made all the more shocking by the simple fact that she had, literally, never seen him laugh before.

"Hess, I don't think you quite understand the situation you face. You are not under arrest, this discussion is not to determine if you will be investigated or sent to a juvenile detention facility, pending charges.." He leaned forward, Sophia swallowing as she realized just how much bigger than her the man was. "This is an internal matter related to maintaining discipline amongst the Wards. If you so choose, you may report this meeting to the Youth Guard after we finish. But until then, you are going to listen."

"Fuck you old man! I don't have to-"

"Then walk out that door."

When he spoke, the veteran's voice was hard, cold, empty.

"W-what, no threat? Not gonna promise to throw me in juvie, or kick my ass, or sell me out to Piggy?"

Armsmaster just smiled.

"Sophia." It was the first time he'd ever used her given name. "You are fifteen, nearly sixteen." The old man looking at her steepled his fingers together. "You think you understand how the world works. So tell me. If I was to be humiliated, my reputation smeared by the scandal of a Ward, one that was directly under my command, torturing a civilian girl… what do you think I would do?"

Sophia froze, halfway to standing up.

"You wouldn't dare!"

And just like that, his smile evaporated. With a face as cold and grim as anything she'd ever seen, it was Armsmaster's eyes, still so dead, so fucking calculating and disecting and emotionless, that grabbed Sophia as the man simply nodded.

"Perhaps not. But the full scope of your actions seems to evade your grasp. More importantly, the issue is one of my own culpability and the lengths I, as an individual and as a representative of the Protectorate, need to go to in an attempt to rectify this situation." His lips turned downwards. "Unless all of it grows even further and more dramatically out of hand."

He held up one finger.

"When I took you on, you became my responsibility. Your victories, my victories. Your mistakes, my mistak-"

"Screw that! What I do is my own-"

He stood, looming over her, staring Sophia down with the same eyes that had challenged Kaiser, that had challenged Lung, that had challenged Endbringers.

"You will not interrupt me again."

She couldn't even swallow.

"Two." Armsmaster held up a second finger now. "You have tortured a civilian. Tortured. I can not emphasize this enough, and have engaged in a campaign of bullying that very well could have resulted in the destruction of your school, should the worst have happened."

Desperately, frantically she wanted to protest. To tell him how weak and spineless and useless Hebert was. How the girl was nothing but prey to be chewed up and spat out.

"Three." But he just bulldozed forward, raising another finger and not giving her any chance to argue. "This girl came to me and she has given me the opportunity to fix this problem. Do you know what she asked when we were discussing your punishment?"

Refusing to meet his eye, the angry girl looked at the dent in the table instead.

"She asked me what would be the most effective use of you."

The most effective….

"Fuck no." This time she said it out loud.

"Fuck yes, Miss Hess." Armsmaster deadpanned back. "You see, no one wants the Protectorate or the Wards taking this shot to our reputations. We don't want concerned parents calling non stop because they are afraid that there are children who can get away with anything they want by virtue of having powers. It's bad for the Protectorate and for the city. More immediately, it would be bad for me and it would be worse for you, the ones they would sack in order to cover this up."

"So what do you want? Need me to suck you off and you'll cover this up?" Her mind was racing, trying to figure out why they were even having this conversation. "What are you angling for here?"

"Nothing so crude. I am a professional first and foremost. I do my job, pay my taxes, and toe the line. What I want from you, Miss Hess, is for you to follow my example. Do your job, wave and smile when we need you to, toe the very specific lines that you have been crossing for the past… shall we say… year?"

Sophia felt her stomach drop.

Year?

Had Hebert told him everything?

He hadn't brought up the locker, so maybe she hadn't let slip that little tidbit yet. Was this that coward's way of blackmailing her? Letting her know she still had a card she could play if she didn't do what that fucking disgrace wanted?

"That would be the carrot. As for the stick, if you fail to follow through, if you so much as lay a finger on that girl again, you will not be arrested." Armsmaster's smile was back. "No, you will remain a Ward and then you will remain part of the Protectorate. What you will do is volunteer for containment duty. I will ship you to the Madison containment zone where you will patrol the exact same grey concrete walls until you turn eighteen. You will not see action. You will not be given leave. You will not be discharged. Instead, you will be under the direct supervision of the most utterly dominating and protocol bound commanding officers in the entire country. Your days will be filled with unending monotony and grueling physical training and if you do anything to endanger the safety of site personnel you will be charged with sedition. That, if you did not know, is still a capital offense."

Standing up, the veteran looked at her again, the same clinical eyes as always.

"I look forward to seeing you at oh six hundred tomorrow morning, Ms. Hess. Have a good evening."

Taylor Hebert

Summoning the nerve to call Armsmaster had been tough.

Filming Sophia without letting any of the trio catch on had been nerve wracking.

But trying to work up the courage to explain to her dad that she'd been bullied for the past year by a Ward, developed powers, and impressed the Protectorate enough to be invited into the Wards by eating and then spitting out Lung? Well… that was one of the toughest conversations Taylor had ever had to deal with.

What made it better was the fact that she wouldn't be the only one involved in said conversation. After speaking a bit more with Armsmaster, they had agreed that a… low pressure approach would be best. Both for her and her father. After all, the teenager was pointedly aware that staying out late was usually punished with a grounding. And getting into a fight tended to be something kids were encouraged to avoid, even in Brockton Bay.

So beating up a gang lord and helping a pack of villains escape was probably a bit more in the area of "things not to do".

There was a knock at the door.

"Taylor, would you get that?"

Seeing as how Daniel Hebert was currently on his back, under the couch, trying to fix a spring that had popped up and started poking them in the butt the otherwise unoccupied teenager was only too eager to get the door.

And not because she was desperately hoping it was backup.

Or a villain attack.

She would do anything right now to avoid having this talk with her dad.

'Please be something serious that needs me to avoid this chat.' She sent a silent prayer to whatever deity was listening.

Unfortunately it would go unheard as standing on her front porch was a pair of men.

"Hello, Ms. Hebert?"

Taylor nodded.

"My name is Shawn McTavvet. This is Ethan Conners. Are you aware of who we are?"

Swallowing, the youth nodded.

"I can, uh, I can guess. Dauntless and Assault, right?"

"Yup!" Ethan popped the p on the end of the word. "We're here to make sure your dad doesn't freak out or think we're kidnappers. So, where is he, I was kind of hoping to get the first crack at the old man?"

Dauntless, taller than his counterpart, turned his head. Unamused grey eyes hardened slightly and Assault held up his hands. Mostly Taylor was doing her best not to be star struck.

"We'll wait here. Would you please let him know that we're here?"

Taylor nodded wordlessly, certain that if she opened her mouth at that precise moment she'd forever tarnish her image in front of two of the Bay's most famous and well regarded capes. Her only hope was to stay silent and pretend she had any idea of what she was doing.

Yeah.

That sounded like a good plan. Ultimately, she figured that these two gentlemen were here at Armsmaster's request. Perhaps as a reward for taking down Lung, maybe just so she didn't have to deal with the usual recruiter or bureaucrat tasked with bringing a minor into an organization of super powered cops.

"Dad, you done down there?" She was proud of how she managed to keep her voice from wavering.

"Almost. Got anything you need?"

She thought about how to word her response. Maybe he would faint on the spot and spare her the embarrassment? It was selfish, but Taylor couldn't help but latch onto those whispering childish fears that her dad might overreact.

Or worse… shut down again.

'Okay, calm down. You got this.' She reassured herself.

GROOOOWL

She was also hungry again.

"There's a couple people outside saying they need to talk to you."

"Salesmen?"

"I don't think so." Not unless Dauntless was selling cosplay copies of his spear.

She wondered if they were tastier than the truck had been.

GROOOOWL

"If its one of those Empire goons, tell them to fuck off."

This got a chuckle out of her.

"Far from it, dad. I think they are with the Protectorate."

The loud bang of her father's head hitting the couch as he tried to stand made her wince.

'Okay, so maybe casual dismissal wasn't the best way to go about it. Still better than going "hey, I have powers and they are here for me."'

Pulling himself from the floor, her father looked somehow surprised.

"Did you let them in?"

Was he suspecting they were fakes?

"No, they decided to wait outside for you."

Her poker face must have sucked given the dubious look her father was giving. But he eventually patted himself down and walked out to the porch, Taylor following behind, too anxious to not insert herself into the conversation. Who knows what those two were going to say.

Were they given a script for these kinds of things?

Were they told to put her dad at ease?

Taylor hadn't spoken much with Armsmaster after Sophia got busted. All she knew was that he was going to handle the issue like she had asked and that he still strongly suggested she join the Wards. Taylor appreciated it, even if she wasn't sure she wanted to join. It felt… wrong to refuse after he helped her. But there was still a long way before she could trust a group of adults with her wellbeing.

Armsmaster had earned a chance by being willing to clean up his own mistake.

The dozens of people over and around him? Not so much.

So she waited awkwardly as her father made his way over the door, stopping to wipe the general crud off his hands, and greeted the two heroes standing on her doorstep.

"Morning, gentlemen. Can I help you?"

Taylor smiled wryly, all too familiar with her father's 'business voice'. The tone he used when he wanted to make sure people knew he was serious.

"Good morning, Mr. Hebert. We are here to deliver a report on the incident which took place at Winslow High? We believe your daughter was involved?" Dauntless - Shawn, she corrected herself - started.

Her father was guarded, body going ramrod straight at the reminder of the Locker.

'Oh, so that's their angle.'

"Yes. She was. And you're not cops." He sighed. "Come in I guess. Better than letting the neighbors see this particular conversation."

Holding the door, he welcomed both men inside and Taylor herself was the confused one now. Clearly she hadn't been expecting him to be jumping up and down with excitement, but tired resignation was the last attitude she had thought her father would have about this. Never mind the fact he obviously guessed who he was dealing with.

"So. Tea, coffee, water?"

Sharing a look, the two heroes took a moment to silently communicate before Ethan shrugged.

"Coffee would be great, sir."

It was about a forty outside after all. Something to warm the bones was always welcome.

Taylor jumped up and started brewing a pot of coffee before her father could do more than begin to turn. While she was at the stove, she even pulled out a carton of eggs and a pan and began warming up the stove.

She was always hungry after all.

"So, I take it you're with the PRT?"

"Do we look like we have a stick up our ass?" Ethan joked, seeming almost offended.

"No sir, we are not, we are here to represent the Protectorate." Another hard look at his partner had Dauntless huffing. "Specifically in relation to two incidents your daughter was involved with. How much has Ms. Hebert told you related to both an event eight days ago and what occurred during the incident which resulted in her hospitalization?"

And just like that, she could feel her father's eyes on her.

"Less than I would've preferred."

Pretending that she hadn't heard the disappointment in her father's tone, she pulled down the salt, the pepper, red pepper, and returned to the fridge to pull out some pre chopped vegetables she'd made up the other night. Cracking the first trio of eggs, she added her spices, along with onions, mushrooms, spinach, and, most importantly, slices of leftover sausage.

"Would anyone like some as well?"

Pulling out a few coffee cups, she poured up the drinks, and, once again pretending not to notice the hurt in her father's eyes, nodded when he thanked her.

"No thank you ma'am. We're good."

"Speak for yourself big guy." Dauntless simply sighed when Assault clapped him on the back. "I'd love a couple eggs, they smell great!"

Her father just took a long moment to add a splash of milk and a pinch of cane sugar to his own coffee.

"You know you don't have to always cook for everyone, right kiddo?"

Blushing, Taylor shrugged.

"I'm always eating something anyways. So it's not like it's a bother."

He smiled.

"Splash of milk in my eggs?"

"Sure thing Dad!"

And just like that, the first landmine was navigated… if only by ignoring it.

The three men spoke in low tones. Not to exclude her, but Taylor didn't want to think about the situation she was in right now. She didn't want to think about how she'd hidden her powers from her father… or how that had felt like the right thing to do. Because even now, she mostly worried about how he would react. Not how this would affect them as a family or even how it might strain their relationship even more.

She'd considered it the first time she went out to test her powers.

Then felt bad when she came back the second time.

It got easier when she reminded herself she was trying to be a hero. To use the… strange ability she had to make a positive change in the world. Something she could be proud of instead of turning into a villain.

By the time her fateful meeting with Armsmaster happened… her relationship with her father had since stopped worrying her whenever she left for the night. Did that make her a terrible person? Wanting to be better at the expense of the last person who actually gave a crap about her.

Because, honestly, at the end of the day there wasn't much of a relationship there.

Maybe it was the cowards way out, but she focused on the meal, pulling out milk, eggs, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, and a mixing bowl. And then she thought about what else to serve.

After all, she might as well make a proper omelet for herself and her guests.

Pulling out some sliced potatoes she had from last night, the heroine hopeful began dicing them into chunks after pouring her own cup of coffee. Being who she was, and wanting to actually put some effort into this first impression, her eye also caught on other vegetables and, with another deep, bone rattling stomach growl, she pulled out cabbage and broccoli and onions and mushrooms and even a little leftover sausage and hamburger meat.

Bits and pieces from three or so meals she hadn't quite managed to polish off.

So, figuring this was as good an opportunity as any, Taylor put her skills to work. She diced the veggies, making sure to cut them finely enough they'd cook with the eggs, and even went so far as to slice the mushrooms into slivers. Cracking the eggs, it only then occurred to her that she'd forgotten something very important.

'Obviously you need cheese with an omelet!'

Grabbing a block, she set it next to her cutting board - each of the vegetables having been separated into piles and scraped off into bowls so they could be more easily added - and cracked the eggs. Her fingers moved smoothly, cracking the shell, splitting it, and dropping the egg in without so much as a bit of slime getting on her digits.

Pulling the trash can over with her foot, she pressed the pedal down and tossed each shell in as she repeated the process for a whole dozen. Taylor had four plates to make after all!

After that, the spices went in, then the cheese, the vegetables, and that mixture went onto a large frying pan she heated up and smeared with a slice of butter. Sticking could ruin a good omelet after all! Just like how constant lying could utterly and irrevocably ruin a relationship. And what was hiding your primary extra curricular activity but lying by omission? Especially when the person you were hiding it from genuinely felt sorry for a fuck up that bordered on the gargantuan and life shattering, but came from a position of deep and fundamental hurt….

'Shut up brain. Focus on the eggs.'

Portioning out the mixture, she added a mix of sausage and hamburger meat after the omelet got underway - making sure to let the runny bits settle underneath. In truth, her omelets came out a little crumbly, it took her two tries before she was able to get one to not break in half, and she suspected she'd added too much stuff.

"But that's half the fun of cooking!"

Taylor turned away from the stove, holding two plates, and found both her father and her guests staring at her.

"So, uh, Mr. Hebert, did she learn this from her mother or…?"

She fidgeted when her father chuckled.

"Probably. And I feel a little guilty for it. Kiddo over there just decided to start cooking like a five star chef one day." He sipped at his coffee, clearly having been refreshed, and smiled. "I just buy the food, Taylor's the one who does all the hard work."

"Tell us more about your daughter, Mr. Hebert. The reports mention that she was hospitalized after the incident, but have you noticed any changes in behavior between then and now?" The unmasked Dauntless pressed forth, all as the young woman in question hurriedly pretended she was cleaning the dishes.

Which gave her father pause.

"Changes? Nothing comes to mind. She started cooking more often but not much changed. She's studious and… had some friends."

Taylor bit back a snort.

She wasn't touching that with a ten foot pole.

"You sound uncertain."

"I… I've been working a lot lately. Haven't had a lot of time to… catch up." The excuse sounded weak. They both knew it wasn't a good one, but it was the one he'd gone with for over a year now.

"Even after the incident? She was hospitalized for over a week."

Here the elder Hebert frowned.

"That was a wake up call. And one I regret needing. But the simple fact is that Taylor's well being is more important than soothing my feelings of inadequacy."

He resented the implication that he was an unfit parent. That he was even neglectful. And Taylor… found she did too. Even if he hadn't really been there, her father had been dealing with the death of his other half. It wasn't like he got to cry and go to camp and heal - all her father had was work and work and work.

"He's taken extra shifts just to pay for my eating habits, you know?"

She sat down, food in front of everyone, half the utensils drying and the other half cooling or soaking.

"It's not like it's been easy keeping me fed."

Assault chuckled at that.

"Course not! And with food like this, I'm not at all surprised eating is a well loved pastime."

The hero chomped down on a particularly big bite as his current partner wiped his mouth, having finished his own bite.

"Thank you again Ms. Hebert, the food is wonderful, but the simple fact of the matter is that the point of this conversation has been delayed far, far too much as is."

Taylor swallowed, because the big strong heroes were giving her significant looks that told her she needed to be the one to break the news.

"So Dad." Taylor took another bite, chewing slowly. "You remember the Locker, right?"

"I do."

His tone was very even, very calm. It only made her more skittish but she forged ahead.

"Well… I got super powers out of it."

Both father and daughter spent a few seconds, just eating and drinking. Neither eager to break the silence. Eventually, it was Danny who continued the discussion.

"And I take it these two gentlemen are here about that?" Her father's eyes looked a little worried, a little confused, but mostly like he just wanted to make sure she was ok. "You weren't hurt, were you?"

"Hardly." Assault snorted again. "It's more about who she hurt. Or, rather, whose ass she kicked so hard one of our bosses asked us to come chat with you."

Dauntless, who had just finished his own omelet, held up a hand.

"What he means to say is that Ms. Hebert acquitted herself exceptionally well, saved several lives, and defeated a high risk individual."

Setting down his coffee cup, Daniel Hebert swallowed the last mouthful of his second cup of the morning. Nodding his head, he asked the obvious question.

"I haven't heard anything in the news. Figured she had stopped a mugging or something when she came home so jittery." He turned to her and smiled, sad and low. "Just know that I'm proud of you kiddo. I didn't want to pressure you into telling me until you were ready, but I guess you defeated a cape? A Merchant?"

Opening her mouth to speak, nothing came out and all she could do was stammer.

"She punched out Lung."

Only for Assault to beat her to it.

"Absolutely pounded him into the pavement! Even saved a bunch of kids too. They'd have been BBQ if she hadn't come in like a freight train and laid out the oversized lizard."

Taylor gawked.

Did he just… come out and say it?

Why did he just come out and say it?!

Her father looked no better. For a few moments, he looked confused, mulling over the name as his brain finally caught up and hit him with all the strength of a freight train. Flinching back, his eyes found her, clear concern and fear flashing through them as she refused to meet them.

"You can't expect me to believe that. Armsmaster brought Lung in. It was on the news." He sounded desperate by the end of it. Latching onto something… anything he could use to deny the reality he'd just been presented with.

"Armsmaster did. But he wasn't the first one to arrive at the scene."

Taylor stubbornly looked away.

This was too much! Too sudden!

'You weren't this scared when the dragon was trying to eat you.'

Shut up brain!

"Is it really that hard to imagine? Girl goes through some traumatic stuff, gets powers, and decides to go out into the night to try and be a hero. Do some nice stuff. Runs into a local gang lord out for a stroll and beats him up for being a dick. Happens a lot more often than parents realize."

Shut up Assault! You aren't making this any better!

"Look, Dad, he was going to kill some kids. They were in trouble and I couldn't just let him murder them. So I acted without thinking. I didn't… it just… I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

He hugged her - that was his first response and it made Taylor feel warm and happy and just plain safe. And then her father pulled back, raw terror and panic in his eyes.

"We need to leave. I'm sorry Taylor, but no, I don't want you joining the Wards. Or even being anywhere on the East Coast."

So dumbstruck by that pronouncement, the teenager could only respond with one word.

"Huh?"

Plowing ahead, the suddenly terrified father cut across both of the heroes and began speaking.

"You took out a gang lord honey. That's not just something you can do. Hell, do you two even know if Oni Lee knows this? Do I need to be worried about him showing up in the next twenty minutes?" Both of them opened their mouths to speak. "Never mind, don't answer that."

Swallowing, the scared dock worker opened his mouth a few times, seemingly unsure what to say to the dumbstruck young woman in front of him.

"Listen, Taylor, baby girl, Lung has supporters. He has monsters that will kill and torture and worse just to make sure no one does anything to him. It's how these things work, like with Fleur. Even then, Kaiser isn't going to sit on his ass for much longer and that means violence is going to hit the city like a storm. Before, I was going to suggest we take a vacation once the shooting starts, but we need to get out of town now."