Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.

A/N: Thanks to everyone for the kind words on the last chapter. This one wrote itself today, hope you guys like it.

The days following the night Kim had given Makayla's drawing had been hell for Kim in the bullpen, but she couldn't blame anyone else but herself. Adam would ask her every day how Makayla was, apologizing again that he couldn't come for her, and he would return to doing the work. Kim's heart hurt more every time when the question passed his lips, but she needed to give him some space, needing to do some thinking of her own. It was clear to everyone in Intelligence that something had happened to the will they won't they lovers, Kevin noticing more than the two others but after Adam went to hide inside the break room one morning, Kevin and Jay looked at each other and followed him in, closing the door behind them.

"Out with it." Kevin crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the door. Adam took a deep breath and faced them both, surprised to see Jay standing there too.

"Out with what?"

"Something happened between you and Burgess, I know it." It wasn't a question. Adam was different the past couple of weeks around her and with everyone else and he was done with it.

"I don't feel like talking about it." He took a sip and stayed silent, leaning against the counter.

"How long do you think you can dance around me Ruz?"

"We're just worried about you guys." Jay added.

"I'm good." He shrugged. "Move Kev, I've got some paperwork to write up." He pushed himself against the counter and tried to move past Kevin, but Kevin was having nothing of it.

"Bullshit." Intelligence was quiet as a mouse lately and even if Adam was the slowest at handing his papers over, Kevin knew he had none.

"Fine." He growled. "You want to know what's wrong?" He was done with all this crap. "Kim thinks I'm capable of killing some asshole in cold blood, so I told her we were done, that until she decides what she wants, I'm done." Kevin moved aside and let his friend walk out of the break room and he exchanged another look with Jay and cursed under his breath.

"That's fucked up." Kevin admitted.

"There's nothing we can go to help them Kev, they have to figure this one on their own." Jay stood next to him as they watched the air stand still in the bullpen. He tapped his shoulder and headed out, taking a seat at his desk.

Kim saw the two guys go into the break room and she knew what they were doing. Adam hadn't been the same and the team was family and they had eyes, so she just looked through her e-mails, trying to keep her mind from going there and trying to make it through the day without too much drama. They caught a case that took them most of the afternoon, but Kim was back at her place right before Makayla's bedtime. She read her a story and tucked her in before she grabbed a blanket and headed for her balcony with a glass of wine. The sounds of the city were light, not a lot of cars or passer byes and her head took her back to week prior. Them returning from O'Malley's, their banter, the kissing, straddling his hips wondering if they knew better, but giving in because that's what she wanted, what they wanted. They had spent a part of the day in bed, Adam's fingers moving against her skin. Her eyes closed, her heart still, she wanted it. Adam giving her every excuse to get back together, her pushing back at every one of them, telling him he was wrong, that it's not what he wanted. During the case with Makayla, he had pressed about the loss of the baby being something that was tragic but was a catalyst to them getting to a place where they could talk, where they could grow as two people, as a couple. Then she had made the decision on her own to take Makayla back home. He was scared that she was too vulnerable, that she was replacing what they had lost with Makayla.

He always put her feelings into consideration, how it would impact her. He had lost a baby, but it wasn't something they talked about all that much, Kim being able to see the pain he tried to hide behind his eyes. She never pushed him though because she knew how he was. If she pushed, he would put some walls up and wouldn't say anything to her at all, so she let him come to her if that is what he wanted, but he never did. She wanted him to be able to come to her, but she had been selfish in her actions, her words, forcing him to take the decision he had taken. It hurt her that he didn't talk to her now and she missed her friend because above everything else, he was her best friend. Sparks had flown when they met, they had worked well together that one day he was sent down to work the streets as a punishment and since then they had been friends. They became lovers next, and Kim couldn't think of something better, but she had let other's words and actions into her head, and they had never been the same since. They always came back to each other because they both knew that they were great together, but she couldn't see it like that.

Kim thought of all the times her heart had hurt, like someone was plunging a knife in it and it was all attached to Adam. All the times where she felt happy, truly happy, those memories were also attached to Adam. She needed him in her life and finishing the last of her wine, she stood and came to a decision. She texted Kevin and he had shown up fifteen minutes later.

"Thanks for doing this Kev."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, but I know what I want now."

"Do your thing I got her." She smiled at him and they shared a hug before she left, going down her stairs two at a time. She knew that it was late, and she wasn't sure that she would find him there, but she knew that if she didn't try that whatever was left of her heart would be broken beyond repair. She was lucky that one of Adam's neighbour that was working the night shift was leaving when she got there so she squeezed herself through the door after him and climbed up the stairs to Adam's floor. Finding herself in front of his door, she was suddenly nervous. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say to Adam, not even sure he would even be open to discussion. She took a deep breath and knocked on his door, rubbing her hands against her jeans to remove the sweat that was starting to form on them.

"Kim? What are you doing here?" He opened the door, slipping a t-shirt over his head and through his arms.

"I know what I want." Tears were in her eyes and even if Adam tried not to let him affect him, he opened the door wider and ushered her inside.

"What do you want Kim?"

"I want you Adam, I want us." He stood against his kitchen counter; arms crossed over his chest. She knew that he was protecting himself from the pain that she inflicted on him weeks before.

"It's not that simple anymore Kim." He looked her in the eyes, and she saw the pain that was in his too. "Not after what you said, not after what you think I could do."

"Tell me what I need to do." She begged. "Tell me how I can fix this, us."

"I know I've done things to hurt you in the past, and because of that, you hurt me back too. But somewhere along the way, you lost trust me in even if I did nothing to warrant that from you. And in return, it made me lose my trust in you. That's what you need to do to fix us. You need to earn my trust back before you decide that I'm what you really want."

"I already decided that you're the one that I want Adam." She took a step forward, but Adam took a step to the side, keeping a safe enough distance for his own mind and heart. She took a step back again because this was another rejection that she needed to absorb and live with, to make him understand that she respected his decision, the way he was feeling. "I promise I'll do everything to make you trust me again."

"You can't just say the words Kim, you have to do the work."

"I will Adam." He nodded, understanding what she was saying, but staying guarded. "Oh, and before I forget, Kevin is taking Makayla to the park to try out her new bike. She wanted to show you how good she's getting so if you want to join them tomorrow, she'd be happy to see you."

"I'll be there." He hadn't seen her since the night in the car so he promised he'd text Kevin to find out where they would be. "Thank you for that, I miss her too."

"I would never keep her from you Adam. Whenever you want to see her, just say the word."

"Okay."

"Okay." She echoed. "Thank you for opening the door and for talking." She turned to walk back to the front door, Adam still against the counter. "Good night."

"Good night." She let herself out the door, the fear in her heart lifting. She knew she had a lot to make up, but she was ready to prove to him that she wanted him to share his life with her. she drove back home in silence. Her head wouldn't stop playing their conversation, knowing she had a lot of work to do, on herself, in the thing that made Adam no longer trust her and her trust him. For the first time in weeks though, her heart felt like it could breathe again, like not everything was over, and she had to have faith in that. When she walked into her place, she found Kevin watching tv on low, Makayla's head in his lap.

"She woke and wanted you." He shrugged. "I told her she could wait with me and she crashed seconds after." Kim smiled at him and sat down, picking Makayla's feet and placing them on her lap. "How'd it go with Ruz?"

"He opened the door." She smiled sadly at him. "I screwed up Kev and I got a lot of work to do to be able to fix it."

"I know." He simply said.

"I told him you'd be at the park with Makayla tomorrow, he said he'd join you."

"Yeah, he called when you left his place." He leaned an elbow against the side of the couch and looked at her. "What happened Burgess?"

"I screwed up." She gave her a sad, watery smile. "I let my fears talk and it's costing me everything I love."

"I don't know any details Kim, but you and Adam keep pushing and pulling and one of these days, you guys are gonna have to make a decision once and for all." He hated seeing his best friends at odds. He saw them get together and break up, saw them get engaged only to have that blow in their faces as well. He knew they both loved each other, anyone with eyes could see that, but their issues were heavy, and communication was always something they had trouble with.

"I already made my decision Kev and I'm ready to fight to for him, for us."

"That's good to know Burgess." He smirked. "I'll help you bring miss Mak back in her bed." He lifted her head from his knees and stood, scooping her up easily. She followed behind them both and she couldn't help but smile at her best friend. She knew he missed his own family, and that Makayla couldn't replace that, but he was part of their little family and she couldn't think of another person outside Adam to take care if her like an uncle would. Kim kissed her forehead as she lifted the blanket closer to her chin. Kevin pulled her into him as they walked back to her front door.

"Thanks again for tonight." She leaned against the opened door.

"Anything for my girls." He kissed her forehead. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Night Kev." She closed the door behind him and locked it before retreating to her own room. Her thoughts had taken her a way forward, but she still had some introspection to do in order to fully commit to getting Adam's trust back. She slipped into her covers and let those thoughts bring her into a good night of sleep so she could start working on getting what her heart really wanted back.

A/N: So Adam gave her his terms. I wanted this story to really show how deeply Kim had hurt Adam because of the words she chose so I refuse to let her have an easy out. Please take a few seconds to review before you go, I alway love to know your thoughts. - Sarra