this chapter is a bit short, but blame the r arc storyline and not me lol

pls review/comment if you enjoyed!

Thanks to my beta for this fic, Floraone! If you don't know her fics, what are you doing here? lol go read them i'll wait

Chapter Three

As Moonlight Knight I slowly became aware of floating in emptiness, pulled by Sailor Moon and the danger of a Cardian to everyone in the park enjoying hanami. But just as I was pulled sharply into physical existence by Sailor Moon's need, I was hit by a pain like no other pulling on my very soul.

She was gone.

Somewhere I couldn't reach, even in my current, ghostly form. Like the very cherry blossoms that surrounded me, I was ethereal and fleeting, and unable to do anything as I watched in horror as my only love sunk into the darkness and left me bereft.

Where was my physical body? Somewhere being a useless empty vessel devoid of all that had ever made him even slightly worthy of her, no doubt.

I, however, was not physical - the desire - the need - to protect Serenity in all her forms had created me, and therefore her disappearance could unmake me. There was no reason, no purpose, no call for my existence as Moonlight Knight without Sailor Moon. And what would become of my other self, empty as he was? How would he fare in a world without Usagi Tsukino, he who still hasn't realized how much he desperately needs her?

Who would Chiba Mamoru become, without Tsukino Usagi in his life? Pondering such a thing almost broke me.

Then, when I thought all was lost… she was back.

Like light in the darkness blinding in its beauty: Sailor Moon, in the flesh, strong and brave and awe-inspiring.

The Cardian, Leshy as she identified herself in an ear-piercing shriek, rushed at Sailor Moon and I lept into action. Even as I threw the rose that stopped Leshy in her tracks, I was heady with Sailor Moon's nearness, almost giddy with the idea that I'd get to bask in her presence once again.

The white rose stopped the Cardian, and both Sailor Moon and Leshy looked up at me.

"It's a wonderful night for admiring the beauty of flowers. Cherry blossoms are so short-lived, I won't let you and your filthy hands misuse them!"

"Moonlight Knight! It's you!" And her eyes were grateful and shining. I felt her relief like a tidal wave, knew she'd felt alone and scared and now felt more confident, and ready. That was my purpose, my desire fulfilled. It was glorious.

"Sailor Moon, you're the only one who can save your friends," I told her.

The vision of Queen Serenity, the new weapon, manifested by her own latent powers. Her royal birthright - something she wouldn't understand for a long time. For now, she saw it as a gift from a long-dead mother, to a long-dead princess. Usagi - Usagi Tsukino, the one and only - she was the answer, the one, the messiah. But for now, she still felt the need to call upon Princess Serenity as a protective mask. I certainly knew a thing or two about that.

"Moon Princess…. Halation!" The light of the world used her own light to destroy the Cardian.

Sailor Moon rushed to her fallen friends, tears filled her eyes and her gratitude and relief coming off her in waves. Her love for her friends was almost tangible in its power. It was a humbling thing to witness.

She slipped her arm around Sailor Mercury's shoulders, pulling her friend close. Touch was always her language of love - had been for eons.

Even when raised in a society cautious about physical affection, she engulfed her loved ones in hugs, grasped the hands of her friends tightly, all skinship and warmth and love. I watched her wrap her arms around her friends, sharing her relief and affection in that so-very-Usagi way of hers. I never felt more acutely aware of my incorporeal state, longing for her touch and knowing it was never meant for me - not as I am now, at least.

"Sailor Moon - you did quite well on your own this time," I managed to say, "Even cherry blossoms are no match for a courageous young girl like you." I had to leave her, and it was agonizing, as always. "Adieu."

It wasn't like I was trying to avoid Odango Atama or anything, not really. But it seemed that when I went out around Juuban I was jumpy with the thought of running into her. It used to be such a regular part of life - every so often the blonde dumpling head with the bright blue eyes would tornado in and out of my day, a bright spot in the mundane.

But then she'd started acting so strangely, from blushing and stuttering to confidently grabbing my arm and declaring me 'hers', to actually being pretty fun to hang out with in the VR theater… I didn't want to sit and untangle all the weirdness that seemed to orbit Odango Atama. Or, even if I wanted to, I didn't have time. Classes were gearing up and my advisor had decided a drama class would look good on my transcript, which was out of my wheelhouse to say the least.

I was heading home from class one afternoon, and, as if my thoughts had conjured her, I spotted the familiar odango'ed hairstyle bopping nearby in a group of uniformed Juuban students.

"Hey, Odango Atama," I called, walking to the crosswalk where she was waiting for the light to change. Or rather, tried to say. The words cut off in my throat when someone behind me called my name.

"Mamoru?"

I had been so ready to dart toward Usagi, the ideas of what to tease her about already at the tip of my tongue, that I almost stumbled when turning around.

"Ah… Natsumi!" I laughed a little, nervously. "What's up?"

"I was thinking about what you said," Natsumi said, looking up at me with those strange, almond eyes. "About being less pushy."

"Oh, uh... ," I shoved my hands in my pockets. "That's good."

"So I'm asking you nicely," she said, slowly, as if she'd been practicing. "If you would go get some coffee with me, please? If you would like to."

Well. At least she was trying. "I'm flattered but I'm actually on my way somewhere," I said. It wasn't a lie - my apartment was 'somewhere'.

"Another time then," Natsumi said. She offered up something with both hands, a folded piece of paper. "Here is my phone number. Please call me to arrange a date."

How did I, of all people, end up as someone's practice for Regular Human Interactions?

I glanced around nervously, wondering if there was some way out of this. My eyes searched for the familiar hairstyle I'd seen earlier, but Usagi must be on her way home by now. If she'd seen Natsumi talking to me, surely she would've jumped in and rescued me, right?

Right?

"Okay," I said, finally, seeing no other choice. I took the paper from her and put it in my jacket pocket. "Th-thanks, I guess."

"If my brother answers, just hang up!" She said, suddenly very serious. Then she giggled excitedly, and practically danced her way down the street. "Bye bye, Mamoru!"

"B-bye..?"

When I finally got my thoughts together enough to start walking again, I almost ran over a petite girl in a Juuban uniform who'd been standing off to the side, by the bus stop.

"Oh, excuse me," I said.

"It's not a problem at all," she said, stepping back politely. Her eyes shifted to my jacket, to the pocket where Natsumi's phone number was folded.

Then she looked up at me, a strange, knowing sadness in her eyes. I fought against the crazy urge to defend myself somehow.

The bus arrived right at that moment and the girl climbed on, greeting the busdriver while scanning her travel pass. I wasn't sure why, but I watched her through the window as she found a seat and opened a book. The doors closed after the last passenger boarded, breaking the spell.

I shook my head and walked home a bit faster. What was it with Juuban school girls and being weirdos? I wondered. Was there something in the water there?

Sailor Venus was mysterious to me, none of my conscious forms had much interaction with her, although perhaps the ancient Prince Endymion knew her better - it was on his vague emotions that I pulled forward when faced with the orange senshi. The most important thing was her protective nature, directed toward her princess always, and currently toward the schoolbus of frightened children behind her.

And Sailor Moon was there as well, standing with her fellow soldier, always stronger when she's not alone.

"Once beyond the tunnel of frustration, there is a land of light overflowing with hope

You can overcome any hardship, you just need to believe in yourself!" I reminded them, gesturing to the bus beside me. The little kids were cheering excitedly, I felt their youthful faithfulness in the heroes in front of them. It reminded me a bit of my own admiration and trust of the senshi.

I also sensed something special in Sailor Venus, a swirling of power waiting to be released.

"You both have a powerful ally! Don't you see how their belief in you can give you strength?" I urged.

Her new attack, Crescent Beam Shower, along with Sailor Moon's Moon Princess Halation made quick work of the Cardian. As always, I had to leave - feeling myself become less and less necessary with each power up of herself and her senshi. It wasn't a feeling I minded at all, I knew them to be powerful and capable with or without me.

But Sailor Moon's safety was, as far as I knew, the only thing calling me into existence. If she ceased to need or want my encouragement, I may never materialize again. But it was a worry I tried not to dwell on.

I could only uselessly hope that my physical form, Mamoru Chiba, with his enviable position to interact with our princess in real life, meaningful ways, wasn't throwing away his chances with every clueless rejection of her love.

the next episode is the... well. you know. it's gonna be a doozy. i hope. ;)

the moonlight carries the message of your love