AN: Here is the third chapter, where Buck really starts to feel like he has hit a very big crisis in his life, which is when he was crushed by a fire truck. Enjoy :)
Things have been super crazy for a while.
First, Chimney was stabbed by Doug, who then kidnapped Maddie. Thankfully, everything turned out okay and both were rescued alive. That was the last that Buck would ever hear from Doug the Douchebag.
Then, there was the oddest and most bizarre, confusing bank heist in which the entire 118 plus Maddie, Michael, and Athena were framed by Marty and the bank manager. Buck and the 118 couldn't fathom that their own handyman would ever do something like this to them, but he did.
Everyone's name was cleared, but further investigations lead to Bobby's secret over what happened in Minnesota being revealed, leading to his temporary suspension. Then, things only got a bit worse. For instance, Eddie's wife died and then there were news reports of a serial bomber on the loose. They even had a few calls that turned out to be false alarms.
Buck never thought that the 118 would one of the bomber's targets.
It took only two seconds for shit to hit the fan…just two seconds. One minute, he and his colleagues were on their way over to a call. And then…
BOOM!
In just two seconds, the fire truck violently exploded in the middle of the road, and then the next thing he knew, the ladder truck he rode in was tightly pinning his leg down and also on fire.
That was a scary moment because Buck actually thought his life was over for good. He was face to face with Freddie, the bomber. And thanks to that asshole, nobody could rush in to help him and the other firefighters, who weren't hurt as bad as he was. The others appeared to have minor injuries.
He could also see the cameras, news trucks, and reporters everywhere.
Oh, crap! This is being televised, he thought. He was not in the mood for public attention in the public eye right now. It would always bother him whenever he would see people recording other people in their most vulnerable moments.
He would never forget the moment Devon let go of the roller coaster and how he told him to ask everyone to please stop recording.
He was feeling exactly the way that Devon was feeling in the last moments of his life.
Another thought that Buck was having was why the fuck the bomber would even want to hurt them.
Why me? He pondered. What would he want with me? What the hell did I ever do to him? I don't even know shit about him! But he definitely has some kind of bone to pick with Bobby or maybe Chimney because he kept demanding to see the captain.
Then, Bobby unexpectedly stepped in to confront Freddie, who was apparently pissed at Bobby for something.
"I wanted you dead," Freddie grumbled.
"I get that," reasoned Bobby, his hands in the air and speaking in a calm tone of voice. "But what about them? What about him?"
Bobby used his arms to gesture towards Buck and the other injured firefighters.
"He's got parents, a sister, a girlfriend…and he never did anything to you. He wasn't even a firefighter when your father burned down that restaurant!"
So, I'm basically suffering from revenge for something I didn't even do? Buck wondered.
Buck was eventually freed from crushing force of the fire truck, thinking he was never going to make it out alive, but thanks to the 118, firefighters from other stations, the bomb squad, the police, and bystanders who wanted to help, they eventually did free him from death.
Then the next thing he knew, he woke up in a hospital after having surgery on his leg. Although thankful to be alive, he was concerned that he would never be able to be a fire fighter again.
This moment and the things that followed were what triggered his depression all over again because being a firefighter was his entire life. Without it, he had nothing.
His fear of never being able to go back on the job is what ended his relationship with Ali because she couldn't bear the thought of him getting hurt on the job anymore.
Without Ali, he felt incomplete again, and all he had left was his job as a firefighter. Therefore, he was desperate to go back on the job as quick as possible.
He didn't have Ali, but he did have Maddie, Bobby, and everyone helping him throughout the surgeries and rehabs. But even with their support and care, he still felt some kind of emptiness as he reached closer towards his goal of getting re-certified as a firefighter.
However, even when he got a clean bill of health five months after the accident, he wasn't going back on the job for a long time when he suffered a pulmonary embolism at his own "welcome back" party, and besides feelings of disappointment, he also felt bad for scaring Denny, Christopher, and Harry when he coughed up blood. It seemed to have terrified Christopher the most because Eddie said that the kid went home upset and full of tears.
The reason why he suffered the blood clots in his leg and his lungs was because he was pushing himself too hard…all because he was so desperate to be able to become a firefighter again. He was then put on blood thinners to prevent further clots…and then no longer cleared to be a firefighter again, then was moved to light duty.
But instead of taking a light duty job, he straight up quit.
The result of this?
He slumped into a deep depression that he became so great at masking. He would spend his days lying in bed, thinking about ending his life, yet also afraid to even attempt it because he was afraid to regret it, even though there would be no him to process that regret because he would be dead.
Then the tsunami happened and he almost lost Christopher. He actually thought the kid was dead, and he was relieved that he was alive. Unfortunately, spending time with Christopher didn't make him feel better and neither did surviving the tsunami.
For one thing, he kind of felt jealous of his friends and what they had. Maddie and Chimney had each other. Bobby and Athena had each other plus May and Harry. Michael had May and Harry, too. Hen had Karen and Denny plus maybe another child. Eddie had Christopher. Carla had her own family. And Abby, wherever she was, was probably out somewhere living her best life. They also all had careers they enjoyed.
Buck, on the other hand, felt like he had nothing during his quarter-life crisis. He had no girlfriend, no children, and no career. Well, he did have a job, it just wasn't one that he actually wanted.
His friends and sister didn't know it, but the way he acted as fire marshall (making check marks with such enthusiasm), was a way of masking the depression that he was trying to hide from them. When he saw that his position was temporarily occupied by Lena Bosko, Buck felt even worse.
That was when Buck went back to doing something stupid; a choice even more terrible than sleeping around on the job. He tricked himself into letting that lawyer manipulate him into suing the LA fire department and his friends for wrongful termination.
Soon after the lawsuit started, Buck wished he listened to Bobby, Athena, and Maddie about taking his physical health seriously if he wanted to become a firefighter again.
He eventually regretted filing that lawsuit because that event ruined his friendship with all of them, even Eddie.
He knew it. He knew he shouldn't have listened to that lawyer because thanks to that lawsuit, he not only had nothing, but he didn't have any friends anymore either. He realized how much pain and stress he caused in their lives, and he felt pretty bad about this.
Even when Bobby agreed to let him back on the job, they were all still angry at him. They gave him nothing but hostility on his first day back, which he knew he gratefully deserved.
His suicidal thoughts increased, but still, he was afraid to attempt it. Some people who were never in his shoes would have thought he was lucky to have enough courage not to attempt suicide, but he hated having those thoughts of suicide.
Although the hostility eventually died down and then Buck did take his health seriously, and then fortunately was off blood thinners for good, the depression and anxiety still didn't go away, and it would only get worse when the COVID-19 pandemic hit.
To be continued...
AN: I hope you all liked this. Please review :)