It's always hard to tell when it's morning. Now that the sky is red, the sun doesn't seem as bright as it used to be. Sometimes it feels like days go by without the sky changing at all. Ugh... What time is it? I usually wake up at a decent time, but after an actual good night's sleep, there's no way. Speaking of last night, Izuru is gone. Ah, interesting. Guess it was just a lonely night causing him to act strangely. He probably saw me and left as soon as he could. At least I got to enjoy myself. Part of me wants to believe it was a dream, even though my dreams aren't that detailed unless it's a nightmare.
Regardless, I should be going. The little Warriors of Hope are waiting! Although they typically don't have much for me to do, I still show up everyday. It can be nice having a schedule in a sense. I get up and walk up to their headquarters. It's the same way I go every day, but why does it feel so lonely? For some reason, I'm more aware of how alone my everything is. My body feels colder than normal. That's saying a lot, since I have bad circulation that makes me colder than most. My body is heavy. Why? Maybe I'm just not used to sleeping well. I need to stop dwelling on it. For the moment, anyway.
It's too hard. I keep thinking about it. About Izuru Kamakura. About the little details. Ever since I met him, I've wanted to be able to get close like that. Now that it's happened, I can't accept that it was real. Anything. I wish I could relive that night over and over until I can't remember anything else. Before I was mainly drawn to his hope, honestly, but now... It's different. I'm not thinking of his luck, talent, hope, any of that. I'm thinking of him. Izuru as a person. What little he shows of his true self. I want to know him more. What's wrong with me?
"Servant! Where were you? You're, like, a billion hours later than most mornings!" Kotoko Usugi, miss fighter, pouts at me with her arms crossed. The rest are seemingly doing something elsewhere. "Ah, sorry. I got distracted. Did you need me?" I ask with a fake smile. I don't hate being a servant for the warriors of hope, although at times their requests are pretty ridiculous. Hopefully, one day my service can make them see some good fortune. For the time being, they don't seem to care. What a shame... I tell myself that they'll appreciate it when they're older. "Not really, but I'm bored!" At least her boredom can be cured. With a childish yank on my chain, she brought my face closer to her height. "Let's do makeovers! Maybe you'll actually get a boyfriend after I'm done." She smiled a cutesy grin with her pink hair adding to the innocent look somehow.
"Oh, wait! Was I supposed to wait until you came out to say something like that? Well, whatevs! Come on." Kotoko pulled on me to her room. What a strange visual. A pink, preppy child actress pulling a sickly, pathetic man by a leash. Sounds like a comedy sketch. Hm... This is gonna be a long day.
Leaving the Warriors of Hope can be a chore. Sometimes I can leave really early in the day and other times I'm stuck until they go to bed. Today, I got to leave around sunset. Well, what used to look like sunset. Now the sky just charges between 3 or 4 shades of red at best. Usually, I would go down to my room in the hotel and just read until I get tired or someone wants me to do something. At this moment, I really don't wanna be alone.
Maybe I should stick around the kids. No. They already said they don't want me right now. I suppose I could find Izuru. No. I don't want him to think I'm more annoying than he already does. The further in the day it gets, the more unsure I am that last night was genuine. Yeah, he was lonely and bored. That often makes people pretend they care for a night. Then again, his smile was too sweet. There's no way even the ultimate hope could fake that. Ugh, I want to cuddle up to him again. I'm being dumb. I should take a walk to clear my mind.
Crossing random streets until I either get lost or cut off. It's not as helpful as I hoped. Outside is the same as its been since the kids started their trainwreck. Random scared adults, monokids running around, and a rotting city all make a bizarrely familiar setting. None of the kids or adults talk to me. Which is fine, I don't know why they would anyway. Turning a corner, I almost bumped into perfection himself. Carrying a box, he stops so we don't collide. Oh god. Seeing him is always a good thing, but I don't know what to say. He still has that same expression. Everyone is acting like they usually do. Maybe I'm the crazy one.
"They let you go early." Izuru speaks plainly. His voice interrupts my overly thought out nonsense. Thank god I got all of Kotoko's 'makeover' off before leaving. For a second, I thought he could see it. "Yeah. Looks like they had enough of me for today." I glance in the box. Old computers. He's probably going to throw them away. "How was your day with them?" He asks while walking towards the hotel. Hm... Even now, he seems to be putting in effort to talk to me. "Games and cruel planning discussions. Nothing all that fun. What about you?" I follow up beside him, offering to take the box. He ignores my efforts. "Apologizes for leaving this morning without notice and for last night. I let myself get carried away. This morning, I woke up and thought you needed the sleep. I left so you would not be disturbed. Today, I collected some abandoned computers. Perhaps they can be useful for something besides their original purpose."
Izuru said more now than he usually does. He's trying! My smile is impossible to hide. Being around him makes me feel calmer yet anxious all at once. "Maybe. You could use the parts for a lot of things, especially since you're so talented." With the same blank expression, he nods while we crossed a street. Probably shouldn't have brought up talent, but it's the easiest to compliment. Ugh, I'm bad at this. It's got to be hard for him, especially after what happened. Or maybe it's helping? "I'm proud of you, Kamukura. I can tell you're trying to express your thoughts more. You're doing good!" I keep smiling at him. Genuinely. I rarely smile for real around the kids. "Thank you for noticing."
Pretty red eyes continue to stare forward as we reached 'home'. My heart flutters a bit just looking at him for more than a second. Without another word, Izuru went towards his room. God, he doesn't even have to try to make me feel like this.