Well , Harry was fucked up. He didn't want to be here , he just ... He just wanted to go somewhere where people would stop consoling him all the time , he knew it was his fault and he didn't want to be here. He was standing next to ron , facing the coffin of fred. It just felt so wrong. Why did he have to die ? He couldn't bare seeing his Foster mother , well he always thought molly as his mother , crying helplessly on her husband's shoulder. He snapped his head from the wood to see her. Ginny . His heart broke at the sight of her.

Her face had bruise marks all over . He wanted nothing but to just snuggle into her neck , like he used to and forget everything. But he was a ' noble git' and he broke up with her. But he knew ... He ... That he ... Loved her. Yes. Harry Potter loved ginny . Like it still shocked him , that he gave up an opportunity to see his parents and sirius and everyone just to come back . To her. Harry knows ginny , and she's stubborn as hell so he's going to have to make the first move but it broke him to see her look like this. Her face was paler , the unhealthy pale skin , she was skin and bones , as she stared at her dead brother. He couldn't help but feel guilty at the thought . Does she even like him anymore ? He left her when she needed him the most. But Neville kept saying that Hogwarts was so worse after he left, a place where he thought she'd be safe at , except he didn't know what happened there. Kingsley had said there were investigation going on and some of the students would be enquired . The funeral official started speaking . "Today we gather here , to pay final respects to fred Weasley , a son , a twin , a brother and a good friend. I now ask a family member to step forward to give an eulogy."

A

t this everyone's head snapped to George but he was staring blankly at the ground. Percy stepped forward. " Fred , I honestly don't know where to begin . You are the best brother one could ask for . You light up the whole family ,it's always you and George that makes us happy. We miss you. I miss you . " His voice broke , Harry was sure he could hear the waver in his voice. " I'm so sorry that I left and I know you would never forgive me for behaving the way I did , I'm sorry fred. May god bless you " . He stepped back and he cried as Bill and charlie engulfed him in a hug. The official nodded and everyone started to keep flowers on his coffin . Molly cried continusly and kept whispering 'my son' Harry couldn't bear it . Hermione's hand gripped his tightly and he nodded. It was his turn to pay his respects . He kept the flower and came away because he couldn't keep standing there any longer. Ginny was the last . After making sure everyone had paid their respects the official started to lower the coffin into the ground.

" Noooo...nooooo...noooooo" , a bleeding scream erupted. He looked to see ginny pulling the coffin back , sitting down on the floor . Crying. For over the 8 years he had known her , he had never seen Ginny cry. Even after the chamber , even after her father was attacked , even after her brother was hurt , even when Harry broke up with her . Hermione had begun to cry seeing how ginny was reacting. Bill and Lee were pulling ginny away and her screams hurted him physically. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and it was like pouring cold water over his heart . Ron was crying too .

He went over and pulled ginny gently from bill. She obeyed. She turned into his arms . She screamed into his shoulder and it was muffled . She bit him , but he never cared . She was limp against his shoulders and this was scaring him so much. He had never seen Ginny being this vulnerable. She stayed in his arms crying violently as Fred's body was lowered and all the official papers were signed. Bill came up to him as Ginny was limp against him . " Can you take her to bed ? " He asked and he nodded. He gently tapped her . " Gin , let's go . " She removed herself from him , and he looked closely at her .

Her brown eyes were now deep black and bloodshot like she had been drinking. He held her closely as possible as he lead her down to the burrow. As she entered the hallway she fell down and started crying again. he felt so bad , having to go through this. Harry felt the same way when sirius had died , he gently lifted her into his shoulder and carried her up . Bill and ginny were in the last floor. One floor above Ron and Harry's. So he carried her and pushed aside the door with his legs. Her room was much more worser than the last time he came in here. He lowered her to bed and she was crying softly. He tugged her bedspread and pushed aside the bangs that got stuck to her sweaty forehead. She closed her eyes and was shaking gently. Harry wanted nothing but to hold her closely to him , share her pain but he got up and left. He closed the door and he heard her cries getting louder once he closed the door. He heard footsteps meaning everyone was returning back to their room and so did he . He went back to his and Ron's room. He saw Hermione comforting a crying Ron. He felt like he was intruding their personal space so he left them be.

Harry found his way down the woods. He sat under a tree in its shade and let his eyes close. Voldemort dueling him , George's face , Remus and tonks lying pale on the ground , sirius , dumbledore and everything flashed in front of his eyes. He flinched and involuntary tears flowed down his cheeks. What was he about to do now ? It's all over. He was a godfather to a 7 months old infant who lost his parents just like him. He now had no place , well technically he had his parents house but he needs to get things straight. But he couldn't think straight. He felt numb. He felt weak . He cried that he lost track of the time . He cried until his eyes were puffy red not really knowing what time it was.

Ron and Hermione peeped out of their window , to see Harry lying against a tree , gently shaking. He saw Hermione's eye moisten . "He shouldn't feel guilty at all. None of this is his fault" Hermione spoke as Ron nodded. " Hermione , I think he needs ginny now more than us. I mean , I love him but I think ginny is going to handle him from now" Ron said . "Did I just hear you right? I thought you were thick ." Hermione joked trying to lighten the mood. " Just like I need you" Ron said with a tender look on his eyes that made Hermione feel like she was on fire. In a good way tho. She smiled at him soflty. " So don't you think that you should tell her that ? " She asked him. " You are right mione. I can't see him like this. " He said as he soflty kissed her.

Arthur Weasley was trying to console his crying wife. They had lost their son , fred Weasley. It hurted him. He was his baby boy after all. When everyone slept , he cried. The way little fred would come behind his dad asking him to take to diagon alley to get him ice cream , or the first time hearing that they had been recruited in the quidditch team , all flew through his mind. He was as proud as a father could be , his son had died heroically. He wiped the little tears that have found their way with his tie. Molly was making tea , still sobbing. They heard someone coming through the door. Arthur peeped over to see Mr. Kingsley shacklebolt tapping on the door and Arthur received him. He led him to their living room. " Good afternoon Mr.Weasley. I'm really sorry for your loss " he said grimly . " Thank you very much minister. How can I help you ? " Arthur asked . " Can I have a word with your daughter miss Weasley ? " He asked. Arthur was clearly confused now. Why would the minister want to talk to his little girl? " Is there a problem sir ? " He asked. " Well , I really don't know how to begin. Hogwarts had a lot of death eaters and we were able to catch a few. Yaxley , the carrow head confessed that Ginny was his main target and he spilled some facts , that I want to cross verify. I am not in the place to tell you things about your daughter as its her personal wish , but we want miss Weasley, Mr. Longbottom and Ms. Lovegood to give proofs and statements against him so we could charge yaxley as there are no proofs till now " Said Kingsley.

Arthur was scared . What had happened to his daughter? Was that the reason why she had refused to come back home for Christmas? " Ginny dear , can you come downstairs for a second? " He called out . Ginny stepped down from the stairs . Her eyes were bloodshot. "oh " was her immediate response . " Miss Weasley do you mind if I enquire you a little bit? " Kingsley asked as she meekly nodded. Ginny led Kingsley to the orchard. Things weren't getting good any sooner is all she knew.

AN : sjsjjsje okay I have a loaaddsss of ideas , you don't understand I have a lot of Harry ginny ideas. They are the only thing that run through my mind all day. I've been writing a Harry Ginny's 'first time' fanfic and I admit I read smuts. I love smuts but I'm feeling super Shy to write it , like I have great ideas but I'm just too shy to express it out and put it out there and a lot poeple could see it scares me . Anyways I'm halfway through the oneshot and I'd be posting along next week before this story could get updated .

Love ,

butterbeergrl , xoxo