-Liv POV-

it's cold...

I'm scared...

I could hear people walking beside me, I tried to struggle, I couldn't get loose, my wrists and ankles where strapped down, I'm lying on my stomach, they started talking, I can't understand them,

I'm scared...

it's cold...

my skin burned, white hot pain working its way through my nerves, I screamed, no one cared, no one was coming. I was going to die, this pain, its not natural,

"Why are you doing this? please, please just let me go" I sobbed.

they talked more, whispered to themselves.

"Please" I begged, the pain was worse, stronger then before, I screamed again before darkness took me,

the room was to bright, how could it be this bright? I opened my eyes slightly causing the pounding in my head to get worse, letting my adjust slightly to the blinding light I looked round the room, I was in one of the medical bays, i could hear the steady beep of the heart monitor, I was still at the compound not back there, i signed slightly in relief I tried moving my arm to cover my eyes but it was stuck, looking down towards my arm I seen Bucky, who was sat in the chair next to my bed, fingers intertwined with mine fast asleep, looking at the clock it was currently 3:05am, I reached over with my free hand and shook his arm slightly causing him to stir,

"Hey Bucky" I muttered softly

"Liv! your awake" Bucky smiled at me, still looking half asleep,

"What happened?" I asked moving to sit up, keeping a hold of Bucky's hand.

"You passed out after your dad mentioned the Hydra base, Liv, what happened at the base" Bucky asked.

"Bucky.."

"Please tell me, we're all so worried, we want to help, talking about it might help you, please tell me"

"Fine, but this goes no further, no one, not even Steve can know what happened, I can't deal with everyone's pity" I muttered

Bucky nodded and tightened his grip on my hand, I took a deep breath to stop the rising panic flooding my system.

"The last mission we went on, to the Hydra base in Siberia, when we all got separated, I was in a room by myself when this man came in, and started talking, saying they had been watching me for a while and had seen what I could do, wanted me to join them, that I wouldn't be limited by the Sakovia accords, I laughed, said I wasn't limited, that I didn't want to join them and that I was happy where I was, I tried to fight him, but something happened and everything went dark, when I woke up I was strapped to a bed, both my arms and legs, I couldn't move" I paused, Bucky smiled at me, encouraged me to continue.

"That man came back in, saying he was going to see what I was capable of, they started with water to see how my fire would react if I was under threat with drowning, if I was fighting, starving, exhausted, the worst one was how my body would react to the cold, below 0 temperatures, they tied be down to the bed again, and started to cut away at my back, i don't know what they used and I begged them to stop, I thought I Was going to die, the Ice was the only thing that effected my powers, which you would have thought would be common sense right? apparently not, they kept it up for days, I was left strapped to this bed, blind folded, no idea what day it was, if it was morning or night, the pain was the worst thing I had ever experienced, the scars still haven't healed fully, the last day, before you guys rescued me, they brought someone else in, I didn't see his face, but I heard him, he sounded different from the others, younger, I begged them to let me go, they didn't even acknowledge that I had said anything" i stopped to take a breath, tears pricking my eyes, keeping my eyes down, Bucky gave my hand a squeeze.

"The Stranger approached my bed, he ripped off the cover on my back, exposing the damage that had been done over they days prior to him coming, and he laughed, and ran his hand down my skin, i remember screaming, it hurt so badly, he whispered something in my ear, but it was in another language, so I have no idea what he said, I couldn't focus on that though, because all i could feel was the pain as he cut open my skin, opening up all the old wounds, I wanted to die, just anything that would stop the pain, the last cut he made, started at the middle of my back over my hip and ended at my belly button, he got into trouble for that, I was in so much pain, I can't really remember what happened, all I do remember was my whole body lit up, I was engulfed by the fire which started up my tracker again" I finished.

"So, every time I try to sleep I have nightmares, I can't keep food down cause of the pain I'm in, alcohol numbs the pain, but even then sometimes can I still feel it, I just want to be rid of the pain Bucky, I can't live like this anymore" I cried tears falling free down my cheeks. "I distanced myself so that way if anything did happen to me none of you would be heart broken by it" I looked out the window, waiting for Bucky to say something

"Of course we would care if something happened to you!" Bucky snapped after a few minutes, I looked round at him, unshed tears glistened in his eyes "even if you distanced yourself from us, we would still but hurt if something happened to you Liv! we're family" Bucky looked down "I won't tell anyone, but you have to let me help you, I'll start training you again, come join in on movie nights, please just let me help you"

"I'm not making any promises, but I'll try" I smiled, Bucky gave my hand another squeeze.