Alec POV

Staring down from this height in the dark, I don't relish the agony I'll soon be in until my heart stops. This isn't a fun way to go, but at least it's fast and absolute.

"No!" I hear Isabelle scream. Dammit, I'm one second too late. She runs out on the balcony. I'm standing on the ledge of the church/Institute's patio, looking down at all the mundanes running around, unable to see us.

I look straight down 5 stories to the cars parked in front of the church and instantly become dizzy.

"Get down right now!", she growls in her best alpha. "Jace! Jace, get in here and help me!"

I squeeze my eyes closed. Great all I need is my parabatai witnessing me in this state. With my eyes closed, I nearly topple over the side.

"By the Angel, no!", Isabelle cries out, her face a red mess of hot tears. "Don't fall! Alec, come down, please..."

Then I hear Jace's voice.

"Oh my God, no buddy, no, no, come down, and we can talk about this. Come down now", he orders.

Since last week I can't seem to defy one alpha much less two. I come down off the ledge and four hands grab me and push me into a chair.

I swore I'd never cry in front of them, but now I can't seem to stop.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!", Isabelle booms, "You were going to leave me?! You're my world! I love you, Alec, you're my brother. Let me help you please."

"You can't!", I shout back and they both go quiet. "I'm supposed to be an alpha, I was raised to be an alpha! I train at 4 in the morning when the rest of you slackers won't get out of bed..."

"We know it", Isabelle swears.

"I'm faster and smarter and a better fight than any other Shadowhunter here, present company excepted. And no one can best me with a bow and arrow, no one alive", I spit.

"Everything you're saying is true", Jace insists, "Which is why this is such a surprise to us."

"To you?!", I bellow, "What about to me? I was my mother's favorite child, apple of her eye, now she can't bear to even look at me! Do you know what that heat was like? I'd rather be dead than go through it again! The pain, the physical side effects, it was a nightmare that wouldn't end. I was raised to kill demons and now I'm nothing but a breeder. Instead of saving the world, my job is to be flat on my face in bed getting fucked until my alpha finally decides to just let me die in childbirth because I'm not appealing to him anymore and he wants a newer model."

I can see the "him" catch in their eyes. I know Isabelle knew, but Jace?

"By the Angel, Alec!", Jace shouts.

"Alec! We would never let that happen to you!", Isabelle insists, "You're our leader, our commander!"

"I WAS", I shout, just letting the tears fall. "Now I'm nothing. I HAVE to be an alpha, Isabelle I have to, I have to, a beta at least, please, I have to, Isabelle you have to help me hide this, I have to be, please..."

"Shhhh", she says, taking me in her arms and I appreciate the warm safe feel of hands running down my back. I can feel my tears soaking us both. "My sweet, sweet brother. Oh please, just hold on. It will be okay, I promise."

"It won't! If I don't do this, you know what will happen? More of what happened tonight. Did you see that? Of course you saw it, half of New York saw it! I had no idea what I was doing, I didn't choose ANYTHING, I had no power, he just...he smelled so damn good, so good, and I felt so at sea...I...felt like maybe he had the answers." It's a losing battle—both my fight against tears and my fight to hold onto a single drop of my self-esteem.

"Let me get you something to drink, get inside right now", she orders, and they drag me down to the residential floor.

"I'm going to get you a sweater and something warm to drink, you're freezing." She rubs my bare arms briskly. "Clary...can you sit with him?", my sister shouts.

"I'm not a child", I yell back to Isabelle.

"No one said you were, big bro."

Isabelle POV

Clary walks down the hall in her pjs and takes Alec's hand, leading him into her room.

"What happened?", Clary asks him as he sits on her bed. "You know we all love you so much." She rubs his back and kicks her door closed.

Alone in the hallway, Jace and I just stare at each other.

"I have no idea what to do", I say.

"I hate to say it, Iz, don't get pissed off at me, but that display made it more obvious than ever that he's an omega and he NEEDS an alpha", he says.

"Jace, could you just..." I rub my temples. "Stop judging him."

"I'm not judging him, Isabelle. I'm saying he's not going to be a successful alpha no matter how badly he wants it. He's an omega and he needs to accept it. I can't even imagine what he went through in his first heat alone. Can you imagine us trying to handle that? On top of all of this? He needs to be in someone's care. If I didn't have Clary, I'd do it myself, no sex of course, but I'd take care of him forever happily. He's my parabatai. But I'm hopefully going to claim her at some point, and I can't do both. He NEEDS an alpha."

I can't argue with him. "Don't think it, Isabelle, you don't owe him that...", he continues.

"You were ready to do it...", I answer.

"I know but...we both deserve the chance to find love, and for alphas that means taking responsibility for someone. It's a huge job, and neither of us could do it for two people. Neither of us could act as his alpha and also claim someone we love", he insists.

I sigh loudly.

"What?!", he asks warily, raising an eyebrow.

"Mom thinks she has it all figured out. Lydia Branwell is coming, probably tomorrow to take over the Institute and she's a single alpha. Mom thinks she can marry him off wham bam and forget she produced a defective."

"Isabelle!"

"What? That's what she thinks. She just wants him out of the Institute by the time he has another heat. She's got him on a dangerous amount of suppressants as it is. She wants to make him someone else's problem as fast as possible. He was her favorite—always. Now she's just trying to forget he exists, I... this is the last straw for my relationship with her", I sigh.

"She's a different generation, she doesn't know any better", Jace insists.

"She doesn't know she's supposed to love her son?", I bark. "She doesn't even know he's...fuck. He deserves to find love as much as either of us do."

"Yeah, I didn't miss the "him" part. Lydia Branwell isn't going to fit the bill", he says. "And what happened tonight? I mean, I've seen omegas in a room with alphas, they don't act like that...he and the warlock were drawn together. No one is supposed to smell THAT good to another unless they're soul mates."

"Don't even think it, Jace, he's a Lightwood. My brother is Shadowhunter royalty, not a sex toy to be pawed by demons", I growl.

"That didn't seem to be what the warlock had in mind", Jace points out.

"I'm going to get him some warm milk", I sigh.

"We can't have him trying this again while we're all asleep. Obviously one of us has to stay with him...", he points out.

"Obviously."

"But he also needs to be out. I mean out out, so we can get some sleep too", he says. "Unconscious for 9 hours. What kind of sleeping pills do you have?"

"I know, I'll make a stop at the apothecary on the way back from the kitchens, does that suit you, oh mighty one?" I curtsy.

"One other thing", he says, "I hate working with other alphas." He's smiling brightly.

"Me too", I say, "Such a pain in the ass." I walk down the hall.

"Love you, Iz", Jace calls back.

"Love you too, brother."

Alec POV

I open my eyes and sunlight is pouring into the room. "It's not 4 am", I point out. "You drugged me."

"Drugged is a strong word, bro", Isabelle says. "We helped you get some sleep. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Okay. I want to apologize, Izzy, for the scaring the shit out of you and Jace last night. That's not my personality, you know that. I'm not the type to take his own life. I just felt...desperate. I'll make it through this somehow", I tell her. I will. I just don't know how.

She throws her arms around me. "Thank the Angels. You WILL, Alec, you will. You deserve the chance to find the alpha of your dreams..."

I nearly choke on her words. "Alpha of my dreams? I..."

"Yeah, before you go downstairs, you should know Mom's gunning for you. The new Head of the Institute is here, and she's a young single alpha woman. Mom thinks you'd make her a lovely mate."

"Fuck", I whisper, rubbing my forehead.

"I'll go with you", she says.

I get dressed and go down, holding my aching head.

"There you are! Alec, it's nearly noon", my mother says, as we tromp down the stairs. "Lydia Branwell, the new Head of the Institute is here, and she'd love to meet you."

"Mom, I need to talk to you...", I start.

"Later", she says, "Right now, you're going to meet Lydia." She pushes me into her office. Isabelle tries to follow.

"No", Mother pronounces simply. Isabelle growls and in an instant they're both growling and circling each other, looking as much like angry wolves as like ladies.

"You will wait for us in the hall!", Mother yells and Isabelle has no choice but to listen to her leader and the older alpha. Or challenge her on the spot for dominance. Isabelle walks away.

A pretty young woman is standing in the office, waiting for us. She looks me over.

"Alec Lightwood, I certainly never expected that you'd present as an...omega", she adds more quietly. Well I'm glad she got that off her chest. Imagine how horrible all this must be for her. I can't roll my eyes at her though.

"You seem so strong and competent and... anyway... I've been giving thought to my future", she goes on, "I wanted to pursue a relationship with another alpha, but that didn't work out. As it so happens, I am an alpha and my parents desperately want grandkids, which of course, unfortunately I cannot give them. But YOU can. I have reason to believe I can present the anatomy needed at the right time. I know omegas are very sensitive and it's not my intention to be blunt, but I think it's best to be completely open and honest about this", she says.

"Oh I agree", my mother says, smiling at Lydia as if she's the last lifeboat off a sinking ship.

"I think you could make a wonderful husband. You have great bloodlines, our children would be from the best families on both sides. I know it's all very sudden for you, but I would like to make this work. Do you think you could consider being claimed by me? And marrying me?", Lydia asks.

I know my mouth has fallen open.

Magnus POV

I've pushed my way into the Institute only to be confronted by one guard after another, and finally a young woman whose heels click loudly on the tile floor, barreling toward me like a bull in a fighting ring. Close up, she's wearing a flouncy mini skirt with the stilettos she can't walk in, paired with a matching blazer and glasses. Her shoulder length chestnut hair is bouncing with annoyance. She's clutching a clipboard to her chest. So very basic.

"Mr. Bane, correct? I'm so sorry, but the meeting on mundane safety is going to have to wait until another day. I'm afraid Mrs. Lightwood is extremely busy with personal business today..."

"It's that personal business I'm here to discuss", I tell her, and breeze past her.

"Mr. Bane, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave", she insists.

"So ask", I say, and continue walking. "It's a free country. Or so they say." I have to know who he is. Did he really smell like that or was it my imagination? Was he really that breathtakingly beautiful or did I have one too many shots?

"Mr. Bane. Mr. Bane...", she calls, and continues to click down the hall after me. Even her shoes seem irritated. "Mr. Bane, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. This is inappropriate. You are a warlock in a Shadowhunter Institute and I cannot guarantee your safety if you don't do as I say."

I roll my eyes and take a deep breath. "My kind is never safe among Shadowhunters no matter what we do", I inform her. "Where is the illustrious Mrs. Lightwood?"

"She's with her son, Mr. Bane, as I said, she is busy with personal business today..."

"And I know exactly what business it is. Getting rid of a child she sees as imperfect." I march down the hall and find her office, the door open a crack.

"Barging in here, insulting the departing Head of the Institute, I really think this requires an apology, Mr. Bane", the young woman barks at me.

"Very well. I forgive you", I respond. She huffs off, presumably to get security.

Inside the matriarch is screaming at the young man I saw last night. A young woman is standing out in the hall, and I can tell she's desperately trying not to hear what they're yelling about.

"Mother, no!", he insists.

"You have no options here, Alec! She's a lovely young woman from a powerful family, far better than I thought I could ever find for you, and she's interested. You will marry her today. Right now in fact, and if she's not your ideal mate, I don't really care, this is the situation you've put us in dropping this bomb on us", she insists.

"You make it sound like I did it on purpose", he whispers.

"I know you didn't, but that doesn't change anything."

"I...have to talk to you..." A tear drips down his cheek.

"Oh God", the older woman cries out in disgust. "You're CRYING now? I can't see this, I can't watch this, my son, MY son, The Archer. I can't handle this", she spits out.

"Mom, I'm gay", comes out of his mouth in a rush. "I can't marry her because I don't want to. I'm gay."

She hauls back with all her force and slaps him as hard as she can. "No more, Alexander. No more, you will not embarrass this family more!"

At that, I push my way into the room- purple magic dancing from my fingertips to his cheek, removing most of the sting. He's left with a bright red mark however on his startlingly fair skin.

"Mr. Bane, I do not have time for our meeting today...", she shouts.

"I'm not here for a meeting, I'm here for him", I say.

"What do you...no. Oh NO, no, no, no, my son is special", she insists. "You're a demon, you're a devil, you're evil!"

"I know he is. The difference between us is that I would cut off my own hand before I'd use it to hurt him. I want to talk to your son for a few minutes..."

"Absolutely not...", she starts.

"Don't worry, I'm fully aware that YOU'RE the person I have to negotiate with here, nothing will be done without your consent. I believe your son may be my soul mate. He's also a gay omega, Mrs. Lightwood", I say, "Whether you like it or not."

"And you are too?", she asks, in a tone that makes me want to tear her head off, but I take a deep breath. When I heard that crack against his cheek, when I felt the pain through our bond, the physical sting and the deep, grinding emotional hurt, I nearly tore the door off its hinges.

"I'm bisexual if you must know. Most of my greatest loves actually have been women. Your son is the most beautiful human being I've ever seen in my life, of any gender or orientation. When you get to 800 years old, Mrs. Lightwood, you eventually realize the entire world is just one big soul, all of us hurting, all of us torn between our deep desire for connection and our terror of being judged. I don't feel terror, Mrs. Lightwood, it's one of the benefits of being who I am. I fall in love with the soul first. And I'm a rich man. I can support your son for the rest of his life. Now let me talk to him", I state. She glares at me, then nods her head.