Chapter 3: Bang & Burn
Defenses were stripped away before they even had a chance to be brought up. There was no recovering from this, no saving face; Liara was pinned down and she knew it. All she could do was utter a plea for mercy and pray to the Goddess that Shepard would cease this cruelty. The scientist shrunk in her seat, dwelling upon the scorching heat that's consumed her face. She was certain she was purple.
"Calling in reinforcements," she piped meekly. It seemed to catch Shepard off guard, and Liara could just feel the stunned stare. She hoped communicating in the way a marine would - at least this particular marine - might further emphasize the white flag she was furiously waving now.
"Sorry," Shepard murmured as she pushed off the scientist's chair. "I took that too far, I didn't mean to make you more uncomfortable than... well... you already are."
Footsteps receded against Liara's will, and she bravely mustered a glance to watch where the marine was going. Shepard began to inspect the various laboratory instruments, peering closely at vials in synthesizers and Prothean artifacts in analyzers. She went everywhere but the one singular place that made it sentimentally obvious as to why it was being avoided. The minerals - out of their case in order to be scanned - with the completed results of their readings displayed on the analyzer's screen.
There were questions unspoken between them, yet neither seemed to have the courage to give voice to them. Liara rose from her seat and walked in the opposite path, exchanging the occasional brave look with the marine as they both pretended to busy themselves with the lab equipment. She worked while Shepard pretended to work, evidently having no knowledge on how to actually operate these machines; it was akin to the nuances of the elcor mating rituals, apparently, by dancing and singing this way.
Heat pulsed under her cheeks and she immediately airlocked the preposterous notion out of her mind, though had lost track of her own space in doing so. She stepped the opposite direction and bumped into Shepard, though the crash was subdued - as if the marine was already close and expecting it. Firm hands caught her by her biceps and once again Liara was encouraged to curse her suit to the void.
"Sorry, Dr. T'Soni," Shepard husked. Her hands lingered a few seconds longer than what Liara felt would have been the right time to pull away, had there not been something else lingering between them. She didn't trust her voice and nodded shyly when the marine stepped away and once again begun the slow dance in the opposite direction.
Tension grew thick, and the air had honestly burned to breathe as it weighed down Liara's lungs. She couldn't take this anymore. She had to be the one to fire the first shot.
"What happened to you on Elysium, Commander?"
That stopped Shepard, right when it seemed as though she was actually going to approach her gifted minerals. Her stiff back and square posture left little evidence as to what she might have been thinking or feeling; she pushed Liara even further away when she settled in the typical military stance, her arms folded behind her as she stood rigid. The marine's head turned slightly, once-lively green eyes now darkened to a dull jade and almost hollow.
"To save time, Dr. T'Soni, I request that you drop this. It's not necessary or important to-"
"It is," Liara pressed, braving a step closer to the soldier. "It is important to me."
"Why?"
One look at the minerals, and the entire atmosphere shifted between them. Liara smiled sadly as she approached the analyzer, then turned and stood beside the displayed results as she observed the human who'd turned away again.
"Because you reached out to me. Maybe it is not 'necessary or important' to the mission, or to your superiors, or to anyone else, but it was important to you to reach out to me."
Anxiety thrummed in the pits of her belly at an idea, and anticipation made her gloves soak up the clamminess collecting on her hands. She took great care to approach carefully, keen eyes observing every little detail of the human's body language as the distance between them grew smaller. There were quick flashes of panic mixed with defensiveness and guard, and ultimately Shepard grew more rigid around her rather than the relaxation and calm she had hoped her presence might instill. It would just take a bit of work, to earn that trust, but she was sure the marine still possessed that capacity to, however repressed.
There was a singular moment of peace in the chaos that unfolded during the meld.
"I have come to learn in my research and interactions with your species that humans are mostly creatures of action, perhaps because you may feel rushed to do as such with your short life spans. I used to think it was a weakness, but I believe now that it is one of your many great strengths."
"As a species?" Shepard caught on to the specific lack of clarification, stealing a hesitant look at the scientist before eyes snapped and soldered to the far wall.
There was some solace in the fact that for once, the commander was the one that was very uncomfortable.
Liara smiled as she whispered. "That too." She did her best to ignore her own nervousness as she stood before the marine, intentions laid bare. "It was endearing of you, and appreciated. Truthfully, I would have never even expected that word to be in your immediate vocabulary nor for the gesture to be coming from you, even in my wildest dreams."
"Heh," Shepard chuckled quietly, a tiny smirk gracing the corner of her lips. Good. It seemed as though it was becoming easier for her to do that, or rather, to show that. "You have some pretty tame dreams, then. I can say and do a lot wilder than that." A look of determination etched in her features, her discomfort chipped away a tiny bit, though remained a constant when she finally maintained eye contact with the scientist. "You're right in that it's not exactly something I would be rushing to say, even now. It just feels like it would be so strange for me to say - probably stranger to me more than anyone else."
Well there goes that hope.
"Doesn't mean it's not true. So I had to figure out a way to communicate, and in a way you would get it. Not easy, Dr. T'Soni. I'm not known for my brains."
"Mm-mm. You deserve to give yourself more credit, Commander. Creativity is another form of intelligence, and both of our species exhibit various forms of intelligences uniquely, as you displayed yours." Liara went back to the analyzer and gingerly extracted the minerals with appropriate safety measures, careful to place them back in their protective glass case. There was some amusement secretly taken in the way the mere fluctuations of distance between them had significant impact in the commander's comfort - or rather lack thereof. Liara leaned against her desk, holding the glass case up to her eyes to mask what they were truly studying as she pinned the marine in between the minerals. "So which one am I?"
"Which one?" Shepard echoed, a brief confusion scrunching her brows together. "Both. You... did figure out my message, right?"
"I did," Liara chuckled. "Copper. Atomic number 29, group 11, period 4, characteristic orbital d-block; electrons per shell are 2, 8, 18, and 1." The more meaningless information - or at least, very obviously meaningless to the marine - she spouted, the more entertainment there was to be secretly cherished as Shepard had actually visibly grew impatient. "Tellurium. Atomic number 52, grou-"
"Doc," Shepard interjected pleadingly; doc, the most informal she has ever been with Liara. Another victory. "Cut to the chase and tell me you got it. You said you did, but..."
"Got what? Perhaps you should clarify and elaborate, then. Sometimes the evidence points me in a different direction when I am left to my own interpretations of it."
Oh, this was priceless. Liara had felt positively evil, and were it not for her own torture session earlier, she might have genuinely felt bad over this - but this was revenge. Sort of. More so guilty pleasure in extracting so many wonderful observations and reactions.
"Well it ain't related to the bloody periodic table, that's for damn sure," Shepard exasperated, crossing her arms as she frowned. It changed swiftly and she slipped in a more neutral expression when the scientist lowered the glass case, no longer pretending to be examining the minerals. "What are their symbols, doc?"
"I thought you said this is not related to the periodic table?"
"Doc," another plea, and this time it was housed in the emerald orbs just as well as the fissures in the forcibly-stoic tone. Perhaps this torture was overdue.
"Copper. Periodic symbol: Cu." All her calm composure and bravado earlier was rapidly dwindling away, as if saying all of this out loud was making it more real, and that felt surreal. A small ball grew in her throat, her mouth drying. She fought to ensure she wouldn't sound as though she was croaking like a thorian creeper again. "Tellurium." Liara set aside the minerals on her desk and mustered all the courage she had ever had instilled in her through battle - deliberately telling herself that she had been in life-threatening situations before that should terrify her more than this moment.
And yet, the prospect and aspect of time - and Liara - standing still in this woman's presence couldn't ever possibly be prepared for. She forced herself to approach Shepard, wanting to perform an in-depth study of the emerald orbs when the message they both already knew was going to be said aloud.
"Periodic symbol: Te."
Confirmation needn't be made in words. It was already there, screaming in the swirling hues of greens, and the commander frankly looked like a fish out of water.
Fish...
"You miss fishing," Liara blurted, and the apparent anxiety that swept Shepard had tided over to bewilderment, a notion that struck the scientist as well. "Why do I know that?"
"And how do you know that, too?"
A fleeting image, too fuzzy and skittish to grasp as hazy dots marred the details, but upon confirmation of that, a wealth of emotions rocked her to the core and painted the image for her. Water, not an ocean, not swimming, but standing in it. A steady stream? Getting lost, becoming one, becoming still, feeling peace. Luring, but not out of maliciousness, or survival, but respect, honor in the catch. Releasing the catch. Can't catch the same fish twice. Harder, that way. Someone was there with her. Something. Not someone. Not just fish, either. A cherished friend, unrestricted access to every thought and feeling.
"Dr. T'Soni?"
Forest green... gear. The gear was strange, unlike anything Liara's seen before. The commander wore plainclothes underneath the thick rubbery legs that swallowed half her body, hanging on for dear life by suspenders. The water seemed to bounce off of her legs. Impenetrable, but still feel the coolness and pressure of flowing water. Like hands over top a suit.
"Dr. T'Soni, snap out of it."
One blink, and the world almost snapfroze back into focus, all the wondrous warmth and colors of nature lost to the sterile grays and whites of the cold laboratory. Annoyance crept in at having been interrupted from such a magnetic moment, until she realized that moment wasn't hers.
Shepard frowned. "Your eyes went black, like when you melded with me. And you talked."
Meld? She didn't, did she? She never put the ability into practice except on the commander, so it was plausible she wasn't quite wholly in control, but it didn't seem as though Shepard felt or resisted her presence. If it wasn't done purposefully, it would have been abrasive and very uncomfortable. Goddess, this was a disaster in the making. How did the marine look so calm? She should be angry, if there was a forced meld.
"I-I did not, I mean-" Liara's forehead creased with confusion, trying to trace back her steps. "I do not think I did. Did you... feel me?"
"No, I didn't feel a thing. Would I?"
Liara nodded fiercely. "Very much so, if I melded with you without meaning to. It would be a very forceful and uncomfortable sensation." Her tongue thickened. "A violation."
Something like that should have been frightening, to ward off a human as closed as the commander. Shepard just appeared to study her, but her stoic features were back and set in stone, as if it were some safeguard and defense mechanism to ensure no one could read her. Was that intentional?
"No, I didn't feel that, Dr. T'Soni. You can rest easy."
That was the end of that, though. Liara wasn't aware of the hands on her - a thumb grazing just above the collar of her suit, hand hooked on her nape, and the other on her cheek. The hyper-awareness kicked in and she feverishly tuned in to the warmth of the calloused hands, though didn't clue in fast enough before the marine abruptly pulled away. The military rigidity soared back to life as Shepard strode for the door, leaving nothing but a casual salute with fingers touching the temple.
"Wait, what did I talk about?"
A question asked too late, as the doors had already hissed shut. A sudden departure, with no clues nor answers in sight, and that didn't bode well.
It was as if the commander was running away.
Liara shakily walked to her cot, her knees giving out as soon as she was by the edge. What she had just experienced felt so very vivid, and it threw her thoughts in disarray as her brain scrambled to answer hundreds of questions at once, whilst simultaneously analyzing the... memory she was in. Fishing. Peace. Happiness. All things that seemed almost bizarre to imagine the commander in, especially in the gear she had worn. The first voluntary image that would come to mind otherwise would be Shepard in nothing but a marine uniform or armor. It provoked curiosity what else she might have worn before the military.
Goddess, but Liara was invested in this human. It all started with a fascination and curiosity that there was someone who interacted with actual Prothean technology.
Now, like all species with time, it has evolved into something greater.
"What the hell is this, Shepard?" Wrex grumbled in his seat at the back of the mako. "Why are we listening to this garbage?"
"Dr. Chakwas informed me that classical music has been scientifically proven to help instill calm and composure."
"Load of varren shit. It's making me angry, and I want to shoot something."
"As long as it's not me, I'm happy," Williams commented idly with a snigger.
Lucy gripped the mako wheel a little tighter. Her helmet made it so that she could smile without a care for someone seeing it, but the smile didn't come, even though there was a small part of her inside that had chuckled along with the gunnery chief. She was distracted, and that was dangerous. She couldn't get what Liara did and said out of her head - echoing Lucy's personal memories aloud back when she had a fishing partner; muting it with music wasn't helping either. She shut it off before Wrex was sincerely tempted to discharge his shotgun into the speakers.
Again.
"Any more geth comm chatter?"
"Hell if I know," Wrex grunted. "Something's chattering. My bones. They're tellin' me you're shitty at driving, Shepard."
Her driving wasn't that bad. The whole crew always complained. Liara didn't. That must have meant something, right?
"What about the radar?" Lucy brushed off his jab. "What are the readings?"
"Hell if I know, bunch of dots and numbers."
There was this horrible, vicious urge to sigh, and Lucy suppressed it as best as she could. She appreciated Wrex's contribution to the team, don't get her wrong, but he wasn't Liara. The scientist could deduce exactly what the hell they were about to run into just from staring at a 'bunch of dots and numbers', seeing and decrypting patterns the way no one else could.
Yes, it was just her capabilities alone that made Lucy miss having the scientist around. Of course. Of course...
Williams' chuckling brought the commander's infuriatingly-wandering mind back to the present, and she tuned in to the idle chatter of her crewmates; mostly them talking smack about geth, and initiating yet another bet as to who would have the highest kill-streak at the end of the mission.
All Lucy could do was stay focused, especially with environmental hazards affecting the mako's handling. Wind speed was high, the resistance dragging the mako; the frozen surface of Antibaar made it dangerous for sharp turns, and the mako would continue to go of it's own volition even if she had tried to slow down. She kept her eyes peeled on the screens as she drove aimlessly around to clean up any more pockets of geth. There was no evidence left behind as to whether or not Saren has been in any of these places, or what his next plan was, or where he was intending to go. They were so close, and yet they were so far away.
Something flashed on the screen. A glint - a scope's glint, and all the calm instilled by the classical music was bloody well blasted away the moment bright red filled her vision.
"Brace for evasive maneuvers!"
Instinct and training kicked in; Lucy shouted commands left and right, but half had fallen short after the first explosion nearly stripped all of the mako's shields.
"Williams, get up the cockpit and assume manual control of the cannon!" Lucy clenched her teeth and pulled levers every which way, glancing over her shoulder to see Williams was passed out at her station. Her helmet casing was cracked. If the seals didn't kick in, then she would die from the lack of oxygen in the planet atmosphere if they were forced to leave the mako.
Well, the plan was pretty straightforward then.
Don't fucking leave.
"Dr. Chakwas, I need medical advice stat; the gunnery chief-" rank, not name, detachment was necessary in situations like these. Especially when her fraying emotions and concerns were making her lose sight of all calm and control. "-is unconscious, read her vital signs and tell me what to do. Wrex, take control of the cannon, now!"
"Williams-"
"We'll check on her after we get out alive first. Get your ass up the cannon now! And not one more word out of you about my shitty driving." Lucy engaged the thrusters when one of the screens constantly beeped in warning of incoming fire; the mako's shields were being decimated by a colossus' energy cannons and they were surrounded by anti-tank rocket troopers and snipers.
How the hell did they spring this ambush on them? Was there no warning of a geth ship in the vicinity? There likely was - but Wrex and 'a bunch of dots and numbers' didn't exactly have an open-communication kind of relationship.
Helmet tossed aside, Lucy seethed heatedly as adrenaline took control of her loosening tongue, her natural accent slipping out. "You picked a fight with the wrong assholes, y'eejits! We're going to turn you all into fuckin' tin cans!" She blindly threw a middle finger over her shoulder when she heard Wrex laugh in the back, unafraid to taunt her over how lame that was. The marine jerked the wheel around and always kept an eye on the meter indicating when the hydraulics were overclocked and overheating. Adrenaline finally had some measure of closure, but instead of simmering, it burned ever hotter when the sounds and vibrations of a firing cannon from the mako had thundered on the battlefield.
"Williams, wake the fuck up!" Lucy stole a swift glance, but the gunnery chief was still out cold and Chakwas' advice went unheeded, for it was all fed into the now-abandoned helmet. "This ain't the time to take a fuckin' nap dammit, get the hell up before you get a rep, soldier!"
Nothing. No response. Not even her insane driving garnered any groans or teases, and Lucy's heart hammered at her throat when a sickening thought consumed her mind: what if Ashley was already dead? What if her PDA was the next one the commander would read in her memory?
"Williams, for shite's sake say something to me, anything!"
Unfiltered curses filled the air with no cares for whomever could hear her on the comms. These moments were the only ones that were left behind to remind her that she was still alive, and not dead inside - but why the hell did it always have to take a deceased friend to feel that way?
Lucy engaged the hydraulics again to dodge another rocket, though the landing was even jerkier when she steered the mako to ram into a colossus. High-pitched screeching pierced the hull but at least the interior was still warm, the only safe indicator that the frozen atmosphere hadn't yet breached the mako's environmental seals. She barely heard Wrex's complaints up at the cockpit, mostly having to do with her driving - but right now, that was all that was keeping them from being turned into tin cans.
Low pained moans resounded in the back and Lucy stole another quick glance, her heart now hammering with hope when she noticed Williams moving and protectively cradling her head. The cracked helmet was soon abandoned, and the gunnery chief sluggishly moved with a severe lack of coordination.
"C-Commander..." William managed before grunting and gripping her head, groaning in agony as she hailed a slew of curses under her breath.
"Square yourself away first, Chief. Medi-gel compartment under your knees." Lucy swiftly adjusted all the holographic screens to the right so that she could keep an eye on them while watching Williams, frowning when the soldier was clearly struggling with basic instruction. No doubt she got a concussion. Talking to her was going to be like pissing in the wind. She activated the direct comm-link to the cannon cockpit, her temper gradually simmering and reigning back under control now that relief reassured that at least the gunnery chief was still alive.
"Wrex, get down here and help Williams out. I'll use the machine guns to buy us time."
"Alright. Pyjaks hidin' behind the hill, colossus still behind us too."
Rock and roll, lock and load, it was time to bang and burn the geth out. Lucy deftly moved the screens back to face front and pulled the lever one last time as she sharply turned, engaging the thrusters for the mako to turn in the air before it flipped on the ice. There was a sharp recoil when they landed, viciously changing directions, and she guided the mako towards the colossus with the intention of knocking it over again.
"Brace for impact," Lucy yelled, gritting her teeth when the field screen showed the colossus readying it's own mass accelerator cannon as the energy gathered, glowing bright blue. The marine's eyes burned as she dared stare as long as she could without blinking, if only to convince herself she was still alive. The mako jolted and screeching scraped along the hull when she rammed into the geth as she engaged the machine guns to rip into it's underbelly, ignoring the mako's vehicle damage analysis when the colossus exploded.
Something demanded her attention though: flickers in a myriad of oranges and reds danced in her peripheral vision, and she looked over in dread.
A fire.
"Fuck!" Lucy's gaze snapped to the mako analysis report, and her temper was threatened again when she saw all shields were down. If the mako got hit by a rocket or a well-placed sniper shot now, it was all over for them.
Sparks flew as the commander overclocked the thrusters to dodge an incoming missile; she could feel the intense waves of heat coming from her left though did her best to ignore it. The fire had yet to spread with the environmental seals locking down on the area and containing it with a barrier, cutting off oxygen to kill the flames.
"Wrex, how's Williams?!"
"She's lost consciousness again," the krogan almost actually sounded as if he was in pain himself. Lucy glanced over only to see orange blood trickling down the side of Wrex's headplate before the krogan forced his helmet on.
Fucking hell, she was ready to cry more so from the fact that they were all going to die from fucking concussions before the geth got them. Her shitty driving would be listed as an actual cause of death. She would never hear the end of it, even dead.
"Slapped omni-gel on her helmet and fit it on her," Wrex grunted. "Strapped her into her seat. Going back up to open the cockpit."
"Don't pass out on me too, y'hear?! One hit and it's all over Wrex, make every shot count!" Lucy spun the mako around, and her innards spun with her when the ice stole control away from her for a few seconds. She had to try to keep the jerking around at the bare minimum to avoid giving herself whiplash and a concussion too.
God knew that was all they needed right now.
"Fucking geth..." The commander's hands worked with minds of their own, a rhythm only she could hear as she flawlessly alternated between driving and aiming the machine gun, forcing the snipers to take cover and buy Wrex time to line up his shots.
And then the mako's envionmental alarms went off. Lucy hastily picked up her helmet and forced it on when she heard a hiss somewhere.
"What the hell?" She looked over at the vehicle analysis screen, her eyes widened when there was a glaring warning displayed that the hatch was opening.
Was Wrex trying to kill them faster? If she didn't get her helmet on in time, the atmosphere would have killed her before any goddamn concussion or geth. She preferred her cause of death to be her bloody driving at that point.
"Wrex, what are you doing?! Get back in and - oh..." Lucy noted that the cannon was damaged, and realization finally dawned on her when she remembered what the crazy krogan actually said. The cockpit was wide open, and a barrage of shots from an assault rifle echoed inside the mako. Lucy grinned when she zoomed in on one of the screens to see that one of the geth snipers was missing it's stupid flashlight of a head.
"Nice shot!"
A race for time started when she saw the last sniper rise from it's cover, and she drove straight to it. This time, Lucy was staring at the glowing red light and didn't dare blink; her heart thundered in her ears and she could hear her blood pulsing, proving that she was still breathing. Seconds ticked by excruciatingly slow as if the race for time froze, and Lucy honest to god prayed that Wrex was still conscious - and just taking his sweet ass time to line up his final shot.
"Wrex, any fucking day no-"
A bang was the last she heard, before all visuals were set alight...
And burned.
Now, she stared at nothing, and there was nothing to convince her that she was still alive.