A/N: Okay, so this chapter was supposed to be the last one … but you're going to be getting a part 4! This chapter ended up being 25,000 words (!) and as much as I didn't want to split it, I knew it was unrealistic to post a chapter that dense lol and I didn't want to cut things out because I love every bit of this chapter and Part 4 and to me, every details and conversation is important (and there's A LOT of conversations coming up, sorry in advance if the dialogue is confusing!)
Honestly, I'm a bit nervous to post this chapter. There's probably going to be quite a few typos and I've changed details and plotlines so many times for these last two parts. I wanted it to be perfect and I was just doubting myself a lot. But hopefully it flows well enough and you like the path I chose.
Thank you for all the reviews thus far, I love that you're all liking this story as much as I am. Enjoy!
Jay felt uneasy as he drove to school, Erin sitting passenger this morning. It had been four days since Hank had dropped her off to school that one morning. Jay had ended up driving her home that afternoon, after spotting her about to catch the bus at 3:15 when school let out – despite telling him that she was staying back since she had to tutor someone.
"oh, yeah, he uh- he cancelled, and I figured you would've already left. I didn't want to bother you; the bus isn't a hassle for me or anything."
Her half-assed attempt at making an excuse had confused him further. Jay thought they were over this, the awkwardness that seemed to be encapsulating them as of late. It made him nervous not knowing what was going on with his best friend. It felt like when they had come home from Wisconsin – except it was Jay who had been acting weird at first back then. He had avoided her first, and then when he was ready to act like nothing happened, it seemed that Erin had decided she would avoid him instead.
Jay remembers still, how he tried to talk to her about their kiss, but she kept telling him it was fine – that they didn't need to talk about it. But he wanted to. He recalls the day, a week after they got back from Wisconsin, when he decided that he would lay all his cards out on the table and see what Erin felt about him. He remembers seeing her standing in the hallway of school, leaning against her locker as she laughed at something Kim had said to her. She looked so beautiful. Erin always looked beautiful to him. He had been so close, so damn close, before Allie cut his path and kissed him in front of everyone and told him how terrible the Summer had been without him and that she was glad he was back so they could be together again. He remembers most of all, how Erin had walked out of his sight before he could pry himself out of Allie's grasp. How she walked away from him. Jay knows that she had no idea what he was going to say to her, but in that moment, it felt like she held his heart in his hand and crushed it.
He still wanted to talk about that change in their relationship and what it meant though, and how he felt for her. But she kept brushing off the subject, so he figured Erin didn't feel the same way about him; and when Allie stood outside his last class of the day that week and said she wanted to get back together he went with it in the hopes he could get over Erin by doing so. And he knows how shitty it was to use Allie like that, but at the time all he could think was that if he couldn't have Erin romantically, he at least wanted to do everything he could to keep their friendship. And at least Allie wanted to date him, and he really did care for her. Jay believed he could push his feelings down from the surface if he focused on being Allie's boyfriend, and that way he could still be Erin's friend without worrying about those pesky, apparently one-sided feelings he had.
Still, there were moments over the years that being her best friend was more difficult than expected. When Jay would drive them all up to the beach during summer break, and Kim had convinced Erin to try out bikinis … Jay had never been one for violence, but he was ready to pummel every man on that beach leering at his girl. Only, she wasn't his girl, and so he spent the afternoon in the water watching his best friend bounce around in a bright orange, floral bikini playing volleyball with Kim, Adam and Greg; all the while doing his best not to let his jealousy get the upper hand on him while trying desperately to keep his own confusing desires under control.
"Jay…"
He thinks about all the times he's taken Erin shopping, because the mall was a struggle to get to via public transport and Jay wasn't about to let his best friend take three different buses on her own when he could drive her there in half the time. Jay recalls last year when Erin was picking up her outfit for the dance and had wanted to try it on one last time before she purchased it, just to be one hundred percent sure it was the right one. Jay's heart was in his throat that day when she pulled back the change-room curtain and stepped out in a jaw-dropping dress.
"Jay..."
Her top was a fitted lace v-cut bodice, with mesh cuts over her ribs that teased glimpses of her skin while still seemingly concealed. She had chosen a jumpsuit with a skirt overlay and Jay was blown away by how grown up – not to mention unbelievably, gorgeously badass – she looked in it. The violet fabric complimented her olive skin so perfectly, and Jay struggled to respond in a way that didn't make him sound like a horny, overwhelmed sixteen-year-old boy.
"JAY!" Erin's scream snapped him back into the moment, and Jay had just enough time to slam on his brakes before he went straight into the car stopped in front of him.
"Sorry." He gulped, keeping his eyes on the traffic lights.
Erin's hair swayed down her back in the corner of his eye as she shook her head "Get your head in the game, dude."
"I zoned out for a second, it wasn't intentional." Jay replied.
"Yeah, well, I'd like to make it to school in one piece so if you could try and keep your attention on driving, I'd appreciate it."
The sassiness was not unusual for Jay to hear, but it wasn't accompanied with the same sarcastic tone in her voice. He wanted to fight her on it – to ask her what the hell was going on with her lately. But this only reminded Jay of just how weird things felt between them right now. He didn't know what was wrong, and he wasn't sure how he could even try to fix it until he did.
Allie Corson walked into school that day like she always did – confidently, on top of the world. Or at least, on top of the world that was Chicago Prep. She spotted Jay at his locker. His body was facing towards his books resting inside the blue tin box, but his head was turned ever so subtly, and it took Allie one glance past his shoulder to see what, or who, he was staring at.
Erin.
Just like that, Allie's mood soured.
It wasn't the first time she'd caught her boyfriend staring longingly at his childhood best friend. Allie had managed to ignore it the first few months of their relationship – Jay had always been a good boyfriend, her parents adored him, her older brother had respected him … Allie shook her head. She couldn't go there right now. Those thoughts never took her anywhere good; led her to the place where her brother's memories lived inside her head.
"I like him Allie. He's a good guy. that's all I want for you – someone who treats you well."
Jay treated her better than any boy in this school had before. And the fact that he helped secure her Queen Bee status only sweetened the deal. So, she had boiled her worries over Jay and Erin down to the fact that he was protective of her, given how much he said they were a family.
Over the last two years, however, Allie's watched Jay in some of the biggest moments of her high-school life; while he stared at Erin Voight, who seemed completely oblivious to Jay's constant watching over her. It was surprising to her that Erin was the only one who didn't seem to notice her boyfriend's obvious feelings. And It irritated Allie to no end. How could Jay be so blinded by this basic, boring nobody? Erin did not have the popularity Allie had. She was not as pretty, or talented, and she definitely wouldn't know how to satisfy Jay the way Allie did. Yet there was no denying that, despite her best efforts, her boyfriend was in love with another girl. And that to Jay, Allie was only ever going to be temporary.
But Allie would be damned if she let Jay Halstead go that easily. Having her boyfriend dump her for a lesser girl? No. She refused to be embarrassed like that. And now that she finally had Erin between the rock and hard place she'd always needed her to be, Allie was feeling more assured than ever before. There was no chance in hell that Erin would sacrifice the future of the boy she loved just to take a chance at finding out if he was in love with her.
"Hey, babe." Allie smiled sweetly as she approached Jay.
Jay startled, flustered when he turned to face her "Hey. You scared me."
"Aw, I'm sorry baby." Allie leaned in to place a kiss near Jay's ear, whispering "Let me make it better."
She kept kissing across his cheek until she reached his lips, practically pushing her tongue down his throat as she kissed him. Jay pulled back not two seconds later, looking at her in shock.
"What the hell are you doing, Al?"
Allie shrugged "I was just showing you how sorry I am." She smirks
"Yeah, well, cut it out. You know I'm not into that shit." Jay grumbles.
"You're not into kissing your girlfriend?"
"I'm not into making a whole display in front of people we don't even really know." Jay looks around at the students passing them in the hallways, smiling uncomfortably while they waved and said hi.
"Relax, they don't care what we're doing." Allie said leaning in to kiss him again.
Jay took a step back. Allie looked offended, and Jay tried to give an apologetic smile "You know PDA isn't me, okay. Just- just back up a little bit."
"Whatever," Allie sighs and Jay briefly turns his attention to look at Erin "I missed you last night. Jay?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry. We got stuck in traffic and I ended up getting Erin home so late, by then I was just too tired to head to Kelly's."
"Well, you missed a hell of a party. Laura broke up with Antonio again, although I'm sure they'll be back together before first period starts."
"Yeah. sure." Jay mumbled; his head turned to look at Erin again.
"Are you even listening to me?"
"I'm sorry," Jay sighs "I'm just a bit all over the place Al. Erin's been acting so weird with me the last few days, I don't know what I did wrong. Do you know anything, have you heard anything from anyone?"
"About Erin? No." Allie scoffs, "No one cares enough about Erin to gossip about her."
"I care about her." Jay states.
Allie saw the look in his eyes and knew she had stepped in it. She'd done her best to hide her disdain of Erin Voight for as long as she's known Jay, but honestly her patience was wearing thin these days.
She reached out to take his hand, thanking god when he didn't pull away from her "You know I didn't mean it like that, it's just that she kind of keeps to herself. No one knows what's going on with her so there's really no one I would hear anything from."
"You're right. Sorry." Jay sighs "I'm just not used to her being so distant with me."
Jay glanced back over at Erin and Allie rolled her eyes. The bell rang, Jay shut his locker and was about to head to class when Allie took his arm and pulled him towards her.
"Hey, I have first period off. Why don't you keep me company?" She smirked.
"I can't. Sorry." Jay shrugs "I gotta get Mrs Peterson to check my working out for me on the homework she gave us, I keep getting the wrong answer."
"But you ducked out of class yesterday." she held back the urge to point out that he did that for Erin. Bringing her up wouldn't help right now, not with the way she's feeling.
"That was different. Besides, last period yesterday was Math as well; I really can't afford to miss two classes in a row – Old Lady Peterson will eat me alive."
"Jay, come on." Allie whines "We haven't spent any time together lately."
"I'll meet you for lunch, we can go off-campus if you want." Jay quickly kisses her cheek and rushes off as the second bell rings "I gotta get to class."
Allie huffs, watching Jay run down the hall to make it before Mrs Peterson closed the door to her room. Jay was more than happy to cut class so that he and Erin could have their secret little 'tradition' but he wouldn't ditched that old bat and her math class to go hook up with Allie? It annoyed her to no end.
She takes her phone out of her pocket and quickly texts, 'You free?'
'For you? Anytime.' The reply is instant.
'Meet you in five.'
The black Ford Bronco was parked in the corner of the school parking lot, where the cemented ground met the grass and trees lined the perimeter. It offered the perfect amount of secrecy and obscured the two bodies currently fogging up the windows and shaking the car where it stood.
"Mmm, that was just the stress reliever I needed." Allie smiled, sliding off the boy she had been sitting up on and slouching against the seat.
"Happy to help." Kelly Severide grumbles, slouched on the back seat beside her as he worked on pulling his jeans back up his legs.
Allie frowned "What's got you so cranky?"
"This is getting old, Allie. Do you really think you can keep this up much longer? Erin knows; she's not going to be able to stay quiet for long."
"She will if she knows what's good for her." Allie snaps "Erin may not care about her reputation in this school, but she does care about protecting Jay."
"And what about me?"
"What about you?"
"Do my feelings in all of this really mean that little to you?" Kelly scoffed.
"Haven't we gone over this already?" Allie sighs "I'm with Jay. Our little arrangement doesn't change that."
"Seriously? Even with everything that happened yesterday, you still won't even admit that you feel something, anything, between us. I could make you happier than you pretend to be with him, Allie."
"I could make you happy, Allie." Kelly says as he kisses her neck, his hand travelling up her side as she tries to unbutton his jeans "I can make you feel better. Just give me a chance."
"You already make me feel good, just like this," Allie smirks from her spot atop his lap in the back seat of his car before she kissed him again.
It was how it always went with them. Somewhere between the beginning of this mess and now, Kelly Severide had fallen for his Allie Corson. The first time, it had been a drunken mistake – Jay had decided last minute that he wouldn't be going to a party because the Halstead and Voight families were having a game night, and when Severide found Allie drunk, angry and upset in the guest room of the house he had sat next to her and tried to talk to her; to console her and let her know that it was Jay's fault if he was going to be an idiot and ditch his hot girlfriend at a party with horny, single guys. All of which would love their chance with her.
He had said it as a joke, not that it didn't hold some truth, but he hadn't expected her to kiss him after he said it. Kelly hadn't given it a second thought until he woke the next morning naked and under the covers next to his friend's girlfriend. They had agreed to just chalk it down to an emotional, drunken encounter that meant nothing. But two weeks later, they'd been assigned a project in history class and the teacher partnered them up. Allie came to his house to work on it together, after a bad argument with Jay, and they drowned their sorrows in one another yet again.
Kelly knew that he was equivalent to an emotional punching bag for Allie, but the more time he spent with her the more he felt himself falling for her. The guilt he felt only grew with his feelings, but he didn't want to risk losing Allie by coming clean to Jay. So, he decided he would try and win Allie over instead.
"Allie, I'm serious. I want to be with you. For real."
The blonde froze completely, looking down at him in shock. She stayed silent for a minute, Kelly's nerves growing more and more until she suddenly started giggling.
"You're kidding me, right?" Allie says through her laughter "What on earth makes you think that the two of us could work outside of the arrangement that we already have?"
"I care about you," Kelly says softly "I-I could make you happy Allie, you just have to let me."
"I don't need you to make me happy. I'm already happy."
"Are you really? Because fucking another guy behind your boyfriend's back every other day seems like a big ass cry for help."
"Jay and I work, okay – the captain of the team and the head cheerleader. It's the perfect fit, and I've worked very hard to get where I am in this school. How do you think people would react if I just dumped Jay and started dating you? They would assume we were already together before I broke up with him – they would eat us alive."
"Who the hell cares what other people think? What does it matter if you're the most popular person in school, hell in the whole damn world even, if you're not happy?" Kelly argues.
"I'm not leaving Jay. He's perfect for my image; my parents love him, my brother admires- admired him, we look good together. It makes sense."
Kelly couldn't understand her reasoning. Was she so obsessed with what people thought about her, with how much power she had over other people, that she was willing to just stomp all over his heart like this? Did she really not care about him at all? But before they could argue it any further, a hand smacking the window and a voice yelling at them broke them apart.
"Oh, tell me that I am not seeing what I'm fucking seeing right now!"
"Shit." Allie hissed, fumbling to get out of the car and race after Erin.
…
The memory wouldn't shake itself out of Erin's head. Jay and some of his teammates had decided to squeeze in an extra practice before their championship game so he wasn't able to hand out with her during her free period. Erin had been walking through the carpark, hoping to lay on the grass in the sun with her book in peace and quiet, when she'd seen the last thing she had ever wanted to see.
Allie and Severide.
Jay's girlfriend with one of his closest friends.
She had never really liked any of Jay's friends, and not many of them liked her, but she had always considered Kelly Severide to be a nice enough guy not to sleep with his mate's girlfriend. Severide had his pick of girls in their school, so why screw around with Allie? Well, she knows why now – he developed feelings for her, and if this was the only way that he could have her than he would. She understood that all too well.
"Kelly, how could you do this? I mean, I know we've never really been friends or anything, you've always been a good friend to Jay, or so I thought. And you know he's been a damn good friend to you. How could you treat him like this? How could you and Allie hurt him this way?"
"It wasn't supposed to be like this, okay, but I can't help it … I've fallen for her. I don't know how it happened, but it did. I can't let go, Erin."
Her heart went out to Kelly a little. She knew what it was like to want someone you couldn't have. To hope and pray that one day, they would wake up and realise that you were the one they wanted. But her sympathy was at war with her rage, her disbelief that this guy who claimed to be one of Jay's closest friends could be keeping such a huge betrayal from him. And now he had dragged her into it as well – they were both feeling powerless when it came to Allie.
The entire situation confused Erin to no end. Allie had another man, one who wanted to be with her, one who would surely be a good enough fit for her parents. It was clear that whatever love Allie claimed to feel towards Jay was utter bullshit; misguided by her grief and this weird fear of losing she seemed to have buried within her. Yet, Erin still couldn't find it in her heart to be the one to expose the truth. It would hurt Jay, and now it could hurt his future too.
Realistically, she knew that there had to be something she could do. Surely that video could be explained. There was no way that every scout would drop Jay from their lists over one incident. But Erin couldn't know for sure. And until she could be certain that the threat Allie was holding over her held no real weight, she wasn't willing to rock the boat. She wasn't willing to risk Jay's chances at a scholarship and subsequently, his entire plan for the future – she loved him too much to do that.
"Hi bubba," Camille smiled from the doorway "How was school?"
"Fine." Erin said looking back at the book in her lap.
Camille shuffled into the bedroom and sat on the bed next to Erin, placing a hand on her daughter's leg.
"Sweetheart, is everything okay?"
"Yeah."
"Really? Because you haven't been acting like yourself lately. I wouldn't be so worried normally because I know Jay's always got your back, but from what I've seen you seem to be shutting him out too."
"Mum … It's nothing, really, I'm good. Please don't worry."
"Sorry kiddo, worrying about your children is in the job description." Camille shrugs "But I got to remember you're a young woman now, so I won't push you on it. If you need my help, you know where to find me."
Erin smiles "Thanks mama."
"Anytime." Camille squeezes Erin's thigh comfortingly before she gets up and walks out the door, grabbing the landline phone from her room and calling Katherine.
"Did she say anything?"
"No," Camille sighs "How's Jay?"
"The same. Moping around like someone killed his dog." Katherine groans.
Camille chuckles "Well, I promised my daughter I was staying out of it unless she asked me so that's what we're doing."
"Oh hush, Cami. When have we ever stayed out of it?"
The next day, Erin sits alone in the courtyard while she reads. She and Jay both have second period free on Fridays and Jay usually spends the seventy-five minutes studying with her, because Erin is always able to keep him on task no matter how many times that he tries to distract her. But today, she's alone. Jay got dragged into helping Allie put up posters for the senior dance and Erin had made up an excuse about needing to work on her History project.
"Hey stranger," Erin looks up from her book and smiles at the couple approaching her "Long time no see."
Nadia and Greg were two people she would call friends in this school, other than Kim, Adam and Jay. Nadia had been her science partner two years ago and had been so kind to her. It had been refreshing to meet someone who was nice to her because they genuinely liked the person she was, and not because they wanted to befriend or date her popular best friend. Greg and Nadia started dating about a year-and-a-half ago, and they would sometimes study at his house when Nadia stayed there.
Greg Gerwitz is one of the few 'popular boys' that Erin respects – she's seen the way he treats Nadia, the way he cares for her, protects her. She's watched Greg console Nadia when her drunken father kicks her out of his home, when her mother ignores her calls because she's too busy with husband number four in California to listen to her daughter cry on the phone about how much she hates her for leaving them. She's seen the way Greg looks after his little sister and his widowed mum. She's seen him balance soccer, his academics and two after-school jobs because his mother can't afford to pay for his college tuition on her own and he wants to lighten the burden for her any way he can. In a lot of ways, Greg reminds her of Jay – a little cocky, a little funny and sometimes arrogant, but always caring and respectful. A young man who just wants to make his family proud.
"Hi Nads. Hey Greg." Erin closes her book as Nadia sits down beside her, Greg sitting across.
"What's going on with you? I haven't seen you in ages."
"We had a study session two days ago, Nadia." Erin rolls her eyes.
"That doesn't count. You were so distracted; you weren't even listening to me half the time."
"I'm sorry." Erin sighs "I've just had a lot on my mind lately."
"More Jay drama?" Nadia sighs when she sees Erin's guilty face "Seriously, isn't it about time you said to that boy how you feel?"
"Let's just say the situation has gotten more complicated than I first anticipated. It's not the right time."
"What's going on?" Greg asks.
"It's nothing, really, I can handle it." Erin insists.
Nadia shakes her head "No way, you're not getting off that easy. Something's clearly upsetting you. Spill."
Erin doesn't know what makes her break in that moment. Whether it's the way Nadia is looking at her, the pain eating her alive, the anxiety tying her stomach in knots, or the weight of guilt she feels heavy on her shoulders; but she tearfully relays to Nadia and Greg everything she saw, and the sadness she feels knowing she's complicit in a lie that would ultimately hurt the boy she cares for more than anything in the world.
"Don't worry, we're gonna figure it out." Nadia wraps an arm around her friends shoulder, pulling her into her.
"What?"
"Greg and I, obviously we're going to help you. Allie can't get away with this." Nadia decides, Mouse nodding in agreement.
"No way, she's gonna know if I do anything to mess with her and Jay's relationship. If you two get involved-"
"What does it even matter? Why are you so adamant on protecting her when she treats you like shit, not to mention the fact that she's cheating on your best friend. What am I not seeing here?" Nadia asks.
"Erin. Erin!" Allie grabs the brunette by the arm, turning her around.
"Fuck off!" Erin yells, death-staring Allie as she stands before her, shoulders heaving as she tries to catch her breath, to slow her mind down and settle her emotions.
"I can't believe you! Actually, that's a lie. Of course, I can believe this – you've always been a vindictive bitch, but I genuinely thought you cared about Jay. That you loved him like you told him you do. That you wouldn't pull some shit like this on him!"
There are so many things she wants to say to the girl in front of her. Years of torment, emotions, bottled up because she thought that Jay was happy and that – despite her hatred towards his best friend – Allie loved Jay. Erin never thought that Allie would hurt Jay like this, and now it's bringing up so many feelings for her. So much anger.
"You can't tell him about this." Allie says desperately, gripping Erin's wrist tightly.
Erin yanks her arm back, Allie jolting forward from the sheer force of the other girls' movement. Erin scoffs and shakes her head, resuming her walk as she tells Allie,
"I've kept my mouth shut for a long time, because I know how much Jay cares for you. I've let you treat me like I was a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of your damn shoe, because as long as my best friend was happy then it didn't matter. But do you really think I'm going to let you treat him like this, and say nothing?"
Allie racks her brain, trying to think of what she can do to stop Erin before it's too late. She can feel everything fading away around her; the perfect little world she's created for herself slowly crumbling with each step Erin takes. If she tells Jay, it's all over. Erin will win, and she'll lose.
"You're not going to tell him, Erin!" Allie suddenly calls out.
"Watch me!"
"If you do, then I will ruin you!"
Erin stops and turns back to Allie, walking with a ferocity she didn't know she possessed, until she's right up in the cheerleader's face.
"You don't get it, do you? I could care less how you treat me, Allie. You've treated me like shit for years, when I've done nothing to you! You can't hurt me. And I certainly will not let you hurt Jay."
"If you tell Jay, the only person who will be hurting him is you." Allie says.
The confidence she suddenly exudes makes Erin's stomach turn. Allie stands tall, arms crossed and staring defiantly at Erin.
"You've got nothing." Erin says, trying to sound sure of herself.
Allie smirks "Two words Erin; Charlie. Pugliese."
Erin's heart sinks. "You can't- you don't-"
"Oh, but I do. There's only a handful of people who know what happened that night, Erin, but if the scouts got a hold of that tape? It would ruin Jay. It doesn't matter how good that boy is at kicking a ball across a field – all that the recruiters will see is a liability. And it'll be all your fault."
"You told him you got rid of it."
"I got rid of the copy he saw. The digital file, however? That's safely stored on my laptop."
Allie studies the look on Erin's face. It's one of complete disbelief, like she doesn't recognise who the person standing before her is. Allie's not sure she knows the answer to that either. She's not known herself for a long time now; she's worked hard to forget the awkward shy girl she used to be, focused on the facade she had built for the rest of the world to see. All of which has brought her here, to this moment. To this decision that she's about to make.
"You would really do that to him?" Erin asks, completely dumfounded.
"Not if you keep your damn mouth shut. You see Erin, I have a reputation to protect. People expect certain things of a girl like me – the remaining child of a wealthy businessman, the head cheerleader, the Captain's girlfriend. I've worked damn hard to make sure my image is protected, and I'm not going to let you fuck with that."
"That has nothing to do with Jay, Allie. You can still be this person that you think everyone expects you to be, without being Jay's girlfriend."
"This isn't personal, Erin. I'm simply trying to secure my future. You can't possibly understand it – my parents adore Jay. My father expects him to be around for a long time, and after my brother …"
Erin's heart stung in that moment. Despite her anger, she knew that losing Ben Corson had been hard for Allie and her parents. Not just because of the sudden timing of his death, but also because Mr Corson had so many dreams for Ben's future; plans for him to take over their family business. The older Corson child had been groomed to take over and was starting to learn more responsibilities involving the business, when he was tragically struck by a drunk driver while walking back to his college dorm. And those responsibilities now fell solely on Allie's shoulders.
Allie shakes her head, seemingly pushing those feelings away before she can drown in them "The point is, Jay's good for my image. People expect us to be together, to help fulfil the duties my father has set out of me. Just like my mother did with him when they went to college. My father sees how good Jay is for me, and he makes my parents happy. I'm not going to disappoint them."
"You don't think they'd be disappointed to know how you're treating Jay? That you're willing to let him be used like this just to maintain this fake reality you're living in? How is that any better!?"
Allie shrugs, "Life's a bitch, Erin. It's better you learn now – you'll never win if you're not willing to play dirty. And you and I both know; you aren't capable of doing so."
Mouse and Nadia both look at Erin, taken aback.
"She's fucking crazy." Nadia exclaims.
"I kind of get it. I'm not condoning it," Mouse says when Nadia glares at him "But there's a lot of pressure on her, and Jay symbolises some sort of … escape, for her. it doesn't make it right, but I get it. She thinks if she can hold onto him, she can avoid the fact that her life isn't as perfect as she wants it to be. She can maintain control."
"Well, it doesn't change the fact that Jay deserves to know the truth." Nadia argues.
"And if I can tell him in a way that doesn't jeopardise everything he's been working towards since he could first kick a soccer ball, then I will. But until that can happen, I just have to keep my distance and do everything in my power not to further piss off Allie – yesterday's conversation made it very clear just how much of a loose cannon she is."
The bell rings before their conversation can continue and Erin packs her things back into her bag, looking at her friends once she's standing.
"Look, I appreciate you guys wanting to help but there's nothing to be done. My hands are tied. I'm not going to take any chances with Jay's future, okay? There's four months until graduation; I just have to stick it out for four months."
"You can't honestly expect Jay to not grow more suspicious if you keep acting like this for the next four months."
"Fine, then I'll wait until after his game. Once he's got offers on the table, I'll think about it. But telling him now will only affect his performance and he needs to be at a hundred percent. I'm not going to risk it."
"Erin…" Nadia watches as her friend continues to walk away from her "This isn't fair. She doesn't deserve to be treated this way."
"I know."
"We have to do something. She's going to get hurt." Nadia insists.
Mouse wraps his arm around his girlfriend "The only thing we can do is encourage her to talk to Jay. He deserves to know what's going on, whether or not Erin thinks so."
Three days pass by excruciatingly slow. Jay and Erin remain in limbo; their friendship feels strained, and Jay still has no idea what he did or how to fix it. He's been racking his brain for the last week-and-a-half since her change in mood to try and pinpoint exactly where everything seemingly flipped on its head.
Their days feel repetitive. Erin and Jay's interactions remain awkward; Erin trying to avoid Jay and Jay doing everything he can to be in Erin's way at every possible moment because he doesn't understand why she's being weird with him and he's not willing to let it go, to let her go, quite so easily.
Currently, he's trying to avoid his girlfriend. Allie's been on his case for the last couple days about having him over for some important dinner with her parents. He hates dinner with her parents. Mr and Mrs Corson were nice enough people, but ever since Ben's death, Allie's father has become increasingly intense about Jay being there for Allie. Supporting her in her future. He keeps talking to Jay about business like he understands half of what's being said, and it makes for an uncomfortable and awkward time. Jay wants to be understanding, but he feels like her parents are trying to replace Ben's role in their lives with him and he's not ready for how serious they seem to be making his relationship with Allie when Jay's not even sure he sees them lasting past senior year.
Besides, all his free time is currently dedicated to mending his relationship with his best friend in the world. And soccer practice. The team had their State championship game coming up in a weeks' time and Jay's performance was sloppier than ever. He was too in his head. All his emotions and worry over what was happening with Erin, coupled with the pressure Allie was putting on him for this 'important family dinner', was throwing him off his game and he didn't know how to fix it.
That was tomorrow's problem, though. Because today was Sunday. And Sunday, was family night. Erin never missed family night, and Jay had never been quite so excited for family night before. They sat side-by-side the entire night and Erin even attempted to joke and make small conversation with him when the situation warranted. But for the most part it was still quiet between them, until they finished dessert; the parents had retreated to the living room, Will had headed out to see his girlfriend Natalie and Justin headed up to his room to play some game with his friends online.
"Rooftop?" Jay asks nervously. He smiles wide when Erin nods yes and they quietly move into her bedroom, out the window and onto the make-shift balcony.
Erin wrapped her arms around herself trying to keep warm and smiles gratefully when Jay takes off his leather jacket and places it around her shoulders.
"Thanks." She says sitting down on the pillows.
"Always."
They don't say anything for a while. Erin stares up at the night sky and Jay stares at her. He's used to this. The moment is familiar, but it feels different all the same because Erin feels different to him. He can see it in the way she carries herself, in the relief that seems to slam into her when she looks up at those stars and exhales heavily. It's like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders, and all Jay wants to do is take some of it on for himself. To help here. To be there for her.
"Did I do something wrong?" Jay finally asks.
Erin snaps to attention, looking at him confused "What do you mean?"
"I mean, did I do something wrong? Did I upset you, or offend you? Did I do something to hurt you?"
"No, god no! Why would think that?" Erin exclaims.
"Because you've been acting like an entirely different person around me for like two weeks and the only explanation that I can find is that I must have done something wrong!"
"It's not like that." Erin sighs "It's fine, okay, you really don't need to worry about it. You have so much to focus on right now, I'm really not important in the grand scheme of things."
"You're the most important in the grand scheme of things." Jay rebukes "And I know you're not telling me something, and I can't stop worrying and I can't focus on anything else because all I can think about is that you're in some kind of trouble or worse."
Jay waits with bated breath, anticipating what Erin might say. She wants to tell Jay everything in this moment. He's always been so protective of her, it's one of the things she loves most about him; but his protectiveness is part of what's gotten them into this situation, and she doesn't know what he might do if he finds out the truth.
"Early admission letters are supposed to be arriving this week," She says instead "I'm just nervous about it all. It's a big change that's coming; we might not even be near each other for college. And I don't want to lose you."
"You're never going to lose me," Jay pulls Erin into his arms "If there's one thing I know, it's that you're still going to be sitting on this roof with me when I'm eighty."
Erin snorts "I doubt your old ass is going to be able to climb up the trellis by then, buddy."
Jay pinches her side, Erin squealing as he does. Jay smiles at the familiarity; he's missed her this last week.
"You don't need to be nervous Erin. Those schools would have to have complete idiots for admissions staff if they thought you weren't the perfect student for them."
"Thanks." Erin says softly, sitting peacefully in Jay's embrace.
"Promise me something?" Jay suddenly asks "Don't keep things from me anymore. I'm your best friend, I'm supposed to help you. You gotta let me help you, okay?"
His words stabbed at her heart, crushing her with guilt.
'This is the right thing. This protects Jay.' She kept telling herself.
Her throat was clogged with tears and all she could do was nod her head against his shoulder as she hugged him tightly.
Jay smiled as his teammates boosted him up onto their shoulders. His fist pumped in the air as he looked around at the crowd of cheering people flooding onto the grass. Chicago Prep had just won the Senior League's Statue Championship with a game-winning goal from their captain, Jay.
"I can't believe it, we did it man!" Jay clapped Kelly on the back once he was set down, smiling at his co-captain.
"Yeah. We did." Kelly smiles tightly, patting Jay on the back in return "You did great, Jay. I'm sure the scouts are impressed."
Jay glances over at the four different college scouts that were currently talking to their coach "You did too, man. I'm sure you got their attention."
"I doubt it." Kelly sighs "But, hey, at least we won."
Jay smiles at his friend "Sev, relax. You played a strong game tonight. I know the scouts are going to be inquiring about you, too. You're a smart guy, Kelly, and you're a great player; you're exactly what they're looking for."
Kelly stares at Jay, the euphoria of their win dying down as he looks at his friend. His friend, whose girlfriend he was fooling around with.
"I'm sorry, Jay." he says softly.
Jay frowns "What are you apologising for, man? It was a great game!"
Kelly opens his mouth, ready to tell Jay the truth, to apologise profusely for any pain that he's responsible in causing. But he sees Allie approaching them over Jay's shoulder, and his resolves fades.
"Uh, you know, for that pass in the first half. I should've gotten it to you, maybe it wouldn't have been such a close game."
Jay shakes his head "Dude, it's fine. It was a great game, we freakin won, that's all that matters."
"Yeah. You're right. Um, I'm gonna go find my Dad. I'll see you at the party?"
"My family wants to go celebrate first, but I'll try and swing by later yeah?"
Kelly nods, the two bump fists and he disappears into the crowd just as a pair of arms wrap gently around his shoulders from behind. Jays smile falters when he turns and sees Allie's face.
"Oh, hey." Jay pushes the smile back onto his face "You scared me."
"Sorry," Allie giggles and kisses him "Congrats, babe."
"Thank you." Jay gives her a brief hug, scanning the crowd for his parents.
He sees them still seated with Will and Nat, as well as the Voight family. Jay smiles when he sees Erin – his best friend was done up in school colours, his jersey number painted on her cheek and a massive sign in her hands. Jay would be embarrassed if it had been literally anyone else doing this, but it's been a tradition of Erin's for as long as he can remember. She was his biggest champion.
"What time are we heading to Severide's?" Allie grins, pulling his focus back to her.
"I've got to grab Erin and head out, actually. We're having a victory dinner at Carmine's; you wanna come?"
"Erin. Seriously?" Allie snaps, pulling away from him "God, when is that girl going to quit being a third-wheel in our relationship?"
Jay looks at her surprised "I'm not just gonna ditch my family to go to some stupid house party. They made plans to celebrate my season, win or lose, and I want to celebrate with them. Like I said, you're welcome to come with us."
Allie scoffs "Your family and the Voight's? No thanks."
"What, so you can demand I hang out with your family but you're too good to hang out with mine?"
"The Voight's aren't even your family!"
"Ugh, you don't get it!" Jay groans "You know what, if this is how you want to be then maybe we don't need to keep doing this."
"Jay, that's not what I'm saying." Allie's tone changes in an instant, walking back towards him "I was just really looking forward to hanging out with you tonight. To celebrating with you."
Jay resists the urge to roll his eyes "Yeah, well I plan on hanging out with my family first – that's how I want to celebrate. I said I'll stop by Severide's after, if that's not good enough for you then I can't do much about it."
Allie looks on in shock as Jay pulls back from her this time "God, I was having such a good time. I was feeling so happy, not even two minutes ago. We just won the fucking championship, Al. I want to enjoy that."
"I want that for you, too."
"Do you? Because right now, the only person making this unenjoyable for me, is you."
"I just wanted you to want to celebrate with me, is that really too much to ask for? That you would want to be with me tonight instead?" Allie asks, affronted.
Jay sighs. This is the last thing he wants to be doing right now "Look, I'll just … I'll see you later, okay? I gotta go change."
"Baby." Allie tries to grasp his hand, but he shakes her off, walking towards the change rooms.
He hates feeling like this. He shouldn't have to feel like this. He just scored the game-winning goal in the last game he would ever play in his high school career. He loved this game, and he loved the feeling that rushed through him when he won, but right now it was dampened thanks to Allie's unexpected irritation over him spending time with his own family. It didn't make sense to him at all. And why did she react that way when he mentioned Erin?
"Oh, my baby boy!" Jay's focus turns to his mother, who's now rushing towards him with outstretched arms.
Jay braces himself as Kathleen runs at full speed into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.
"Oof." Jay gasps as she makes impact, "Mum."
"I'm so proud of you! That was amazing, you should be so proud! You won, bird!" Kathleen says, sounding like she's on the verge of tears.
Jay groans at the use of his childhood nickname, still struggling to breathe. For such a little woman, his mother has such a strong grip.
"Thanks, mama. But-"
"Kath, if you hug that boy any tighter, he's going to turn blue." Camille chuckles as her friend rolls her eyes "Besides, I want a turn."
Jay smiles as Camille hugs him, quick but firm "Congratulations sweetie."
"Thanks Mama V." He mumbles into her shoulder.
Hank and Pat give him a quick congratulatory hug, Will simply fist-bumping him and young Justin opting for a high-five, and then Jay turns to face Erin. She's standing back, waiting for everyone to finish their turn before she can see him.
Erin smiles and walks towards him as Jay asks, "Pretty impressive, huh?"
"Eh, I've seen better."
Jay rolls his eyes, pulling Erin into his side "Always there to knock me down a peg, aren't you?"
"Someone's got to keep your ego in check, mister. I can't have you out here thinking you're all that." Erin sasses. "But seriously, congratulations. I guess I'm kinda proud of you."
Jay's heart swells with pride. He's heard those words a lot tonight, but hearing Erin say them felt more meaningful. 'She's your best friend, of course it matters more.' he thought, trying to reason with himself.
"Thanks, Er-Bear." Jay says softly, kissing the top of her head.
Kathleen and Camille give one another a look, their husbands and other children completely oblivious to the moment that these two best friends seem to be wrapped up in.
"Alright, can we go now? I'm starving." Will complains.
"Keep your hair on, William." Pat chuckles at his eldest's impatience "Jay, you're still good to drive?"
Jay nods "I gotta shower and change, we'll meet you there."
"Thank god. You seriously stink."
"Oh, do I?" Jay says, rubbing his armpit in Erin's face as she shrieks and tries to push him away from her while he chases her.
Kathleen leans in, giggling as she says to Camille "I don't know what we're going to do with them."
…
"Hey Jay," Mouse greets when Jay walks into the change room, fresh from his shower "I didn't get to see you earlier, good game out there."
"You too, man. Hell of a save you pulled out there." Jay replies while he slips his jeans and t-shirt on.
"Gotta make sure I impress my girl; you know how it is." Mouse chuckles.
"Yeah." Jay's half-hearted answer makes his friend frown.
They both gather their bags and start to walk out of the room towards the carpark, where both Erin and Nadia were waiting for them by Mouse's car at the end of the lot. everyone had cleared out by now; the game having finished about half an hour ago. Jay and Erin's families were waiting for them at the restaurant, while Mouse and Nadia were headed to the after-party at Severide's to celebrate with the team.
"Is everything okay?" Mouse asks as they walk "You don't seem so upbeat, considering we just won the state championship."
"… Have you ever doubted whether you should be with Nadia?" Jay asks.
"Should be, or wanted to be? Because there's definitely been times where we've both thought we shouldn't be. When her mum left or when my dad died … There were a lot of reasons for us not to be together, but we are; because we love each other, and we want to be in our relationship."
Jay takes a deep breath, letting Mouse's words sink in "See, I don't think I want to be in my relationship anymore."
That takes Mouse by surprise "I care for Allie, I do. But lately, it's just been … hard. So much harder than it needs to be. It doesn't feel like a relationship so much as a dictatorship – I do whatever she wants because I don't want to upset her, because she's been through so much in the last two years after losing her brother. I've seen how much she's struggled, and maybe that's part of the reason why I agreed to get back together with her last summer? Because I wanted to take some of that pain away, but I'm not as happy as I told myself I was, and I don't think I'm making her happy either."
Mouse has to fight hard to hold back the retort on his lips. To tell Jay just how happy Kelly Severide has been making his girlfriend.
"I can't tell you what to do, Jay. But if it's not working you have two options; stay and try to fix it or leave before you make it worse."
"It just feels like a lot of hard work, more work than it should feel like."
"If there's one thing that I've learned, it's that it never feels that hard when it's the right person. So, maybe Allie's just not the right person."
Jay nods, reaching the carpark and spying Erin and Nadia huddled up by Mouse's car. Jay smiles as he sees Erin and Mouse watches the look that comes over his friend's face, bemused; how could two people be so oblivious to the feelings they both shared for one another?
"Yeah, maybe." Jay says softly.
The rest of the night was a blur for Jay. All he could focus on was his best friend. His best friend who, suddenly, he was seeing in a new light. Well, more like a familiar light that he had tried to turn off long ago because he never thought that the path being lit up was an option.
But it felt like the universe was throwing signs at him, big fat signs telling him that the girl he's wanted – the girl he's needed – was the one who had been in front of him all along. The one who he had deep feelings for; feelings that were, after trying to push to the surface for so many years, finally starting to break through.
His conversation with Mouse seemed to put everything into perspective. Watching Erin with their families; the way she helped Justin pick out his meal because she knew that even at 12-year-old he was still as indecisive as when he had been a little kid, the way she would come to Will's defence when their parents would tease him about his dating life and joke that hopefully Natalie would stick around longer than his other 'girlfriends'. but what struck Jay the most was the way she was with him – it was like every little thing she did, things that she had always done, were being seen in a new light.
She would always roll down the windows of his car because she knew how much Jay loved the wind rushing past them, even when it meant she would practically suffocate in her own hair. She always left the seat next to the head of the table empty because Erin knew that Jay loved to sit next to his Dad during dinner. She played music in the car that they both loved but would always queue up a few of his favourite songs even though he would drive like a lunatic when they played. And when they sat at dinner, she would lean over and softly tell him that they could split meals because she knew that Jay always wanted what she picked because she ordered better.
They were little things that Erin had done for as long as Jay had known her, but it was those little things that had made him realise he had feelings for his best friend. He'd had them when he kissed her in Wisconsin, and he'd had them probably long before that. And now that he'd admitted it to himself, he also had to admit that there was no way he could ever be happy with Allie. Maybe it was why he had been so reluctant to move forward in their relationship, why he hadn't said he loved her, why he avoided dinner with her parents, why he didn't feel as sad as most people would when they go through a break-up. Because he belonged to Erin, and he probably always had been.
"Are you okay?" Erin asked as they drove to Severide's "You've been zoned out all night."
Jay looks at Erin when they pull up to a red light. He takes in every little detail of her; the slight flush of her cheeks from the cold wind hitting their faces, the brightness of her hazel green eyes, the few tendrils of her hair that came out of her ponytail and were framing her face so beautifully.
"Why do you keep looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?" Erin asks, wiping at her mouth self-consciously.
"No, no you're perfect." Jay's eyes widen at his words.
Erin tries to ignore the butterflies pounding in her stomach at his words. 'He's just being nice. He's in a good mood from the win, he's just being overly sweet.'
"If you say so." She shrugs, looking out the side of the car to the view passing them by.
Jay took a breath and kept driving. He needed to stay in control. His head and his heart were all over the place right now, there was a lot going on and he needed to try and calm himself before he did something that he shouldn't. Like kissing his best friend when he still technically had a girlfriend.
They pulled up at Severide's house and Jay looked at Erin after he parked "Are you sure you wanna go? I can still drop you home."
"I promised Kim I'd stop by," Erin sighs "Besides, it's a celebration. And we don't have that many high school parties left to go to. Figure I should try to enjoy them while they last."
"How evolved of you."
Erin rolls her eyes "Don't you have better things to do than make fun of me? Go make out with your girlfriend or something."
"Yeah. right." Jay breathes out.
He's never felt this nervous walking into a party before. The usual smiles and choruses of hello's are tuned out, faded in the background as he feels Erin pat him on the shoulder and say she's going to find Kim, leaving him alone to find his girlfriend.
Despite everything, Jay feels bad for what he's about to do. But he's given everything he has to this relationship; he's tried to make it work for so long and tried to ignore for so long that things just weren't how they should be. He wasn't happy. And regardless of the resurfaced feelings for his best friend, his unhappiness in his relationship is not something he could make go away if he tried. And he's tried. He tried to push through and pretend his feelings were different because he knows how badly Allie needed him when they first got back together; she'd lost her brother and had broken up with him in the heat of the moment.
Erin's words ring through his head in that moment. 'You and Allie aren't good for one another, and you know it. You deserve something – someone, better.'
She was right. He knew they weren't good for each other, but it didn't mean he wasn't sad at the thought of ending this. Of hurting her.
Jay still remembers the words that broke his resolve last summer, 'if my brother were here, he'd be telling me what an idiot I was for ever letting you go, for pushing you away. And he'd be right.' He'd wanted to be the good guy, to make Allie happy in a time when she was dealing with such a great loss. Jay wanted to help heal her heart, but all he could think now was that he had probably made it worse. He didn't want either of them to keep hurting.
"Jay! Hi babe!" Allie squealed and ran towards him, launching into his arms "I've been waiting for you." The alcohol on her breath hits him hard; she was definitely a little tipsy.
"Hey Als," He says softly into her hair, holding her against him for a second "Look, I need to talk to you."
"You're just in time for body shots." Allie looks at him, speaking in that low sultry voice she knows always gets him "I got that tequila I know you like."
"Allie, I really want to talk about earlier." Jay pleads.
But Allie's quick to dismiss him "It doesn't matter. I was wrong, we said shit we didn't mean. Let's just forget I said anything."
"That's the thing; I think I was right."
"What are you talking about?"
Jay pauses and lets go of Allie's waist, stepping back and holding her hand in his "We shouldn't keep doing this."
Allie's eyes widen, nostrils flaring as she tries to keep herself calm. Jay squeezes her hand, and she snatches it away from him "Are you seriously trying to break up with me, here? Now?"
"I'm sorry…"
"No." Allie snaps "We're not over until I say we're over."
"Excuse me!? Wait- Allie! Get back here!" Jay calls as she pushes past the other guests at the party and out the front door.
Erin sips her drink slowly, watching Adam, Kim, Mouse and Nadia as they play beer pong. She hated coming to parties, especially Severide's because they had a reputation for getting out of control, but she couldn't deny that she was enjoying being with her friends. Kim had been checking in on her constantly over the last week, having heard from Jay just how concerned he was about Erin. She hated lying to Kim, but she knew her friend was too much of a liability – if Erin told her what was going on with Allie, there was no guarantee that Kim would be able to control spilling the beans if she got into it with the head cheerleader. And as much as she knew and appreciated that Kim would go to war for her, she didn't want to drag her friend into her mess. It was bad enough that she had told Mouse and Nadia.
"How're you doing?" Mouse asks coming to stand beside her.
Speak of the devil. Erin nods "I'm alright. It feels weird being here, especially knowing what I know. I just … it's hard keeping this from him. I feel bad all the time. We should be hearing from the scouts in the next week or so, once he gets his offers, I'm going to tell him. I can't keep doing this to him."
"You may not have to wait that long." Mouse smirks.
Erin looks at him suspiciously "What do you mean? What do you know?"
"Let's just say, Jay and I had a very enlightening conversation about his relationship tonight."
Before he can say anything, Sylvie Brett and Stella Kidd burst into the upstairs room,
"You guys! Allie and Jay are having a full blow-out on the front lawn right now!" Sylvie squeals excitedly.
"It's wild. Allie looks pissed." Stella notes, turning to face Erin "Do you know what's going on with them?"
Erin ignores the two gossips, turning to face the man next to her and asking lowly "Greg, what the hell did you do?"
"Nothing! I didn't tell him anything, Erin. He asked me for advice on his relationship, and I gave it to him. That's it. I didn't say anything about what you told me."
They can see people moving towards the front of the house, trying to peek through the windows and hear the conversation between the most popular couple in their school. Erin rushes through the crowd, pushing her way between people as she tries to get out to the front of the house. She can see Severide doing the same as she descends the stairs. This is all her fault. She has to stop this.
…
"Allie!" Jay calls out once he's outside the house.
There are less people out here, most of them simply coming outside to smoke and then head back inside. But he can feel whatever eyes that are out here laser-focused on them.
"No." Allie stubbornly replies "I'm not doing this with you. It's been a long night, Jay, we're both tired. Let's just go back to my place and-"
"God, Allie, enough!" Jay snaps "I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of pretending like things are good when they're not."
"What are you talking about? Things are good. We were fine before today, you're the one who's changed their minds all of a sudden." Allie stops short, whipping around to face Jay again "This is about Erin isn't it?"
"No..." Jay remembers again the words she told him weeks ago "Well, maybe yeah, but-"
"Unbelievable! This is all your fault!" Allie yells.
"Allie, come on. This isn't working!" Jay's trying to keep his composure, he doesn't want to be screaming at her on someone else's lawn at a house party. He needs to stay calm or they're never going to finish this.
"No! you don't think I see the way you look at her? You're always looking at her, like she hung the fucking moon and stars! Why am I even surprised that she's the reason you're doing this!?"
"That's not what I said, Als. Erin's not why I'm doing this. It's been a long time coming, I can't keep pretending anymore. It's just too hard."
"She knows what I'll do, I told her what I would do if she got involved! You really thought you could get away with this!? I told you what would happen!"
"Allie, please." Jay turns around when he sees Erin and Severide. What the hell was he doing here?
"This is all your fault!" Allie screams, focusing back on Jay "You think she's so perfect, but she's not!"
"Allie, Erin isn't a part of this, come on." Jay repeats.
"Oh, no? You're really going to stand here and act like she didn't tell you? You two planned this, I know you did!" Jay looks at her confused. Allie wasn't making any sense.
"I didn't say anything, Allie, please. Just calm down, let's talk about this." Erin pleads and Jay's confusion grows.
"Tell me what?" He asks Allie, turning to face Erin when she stays silent "Tell me what, Er?"
"Al, you've had way too much to drink. Just leave it alone." Severide speaks up, walking over to her "Come on, let me take you home."
"What the hell are you even doing here? You said you were done with me. Just like him." Allie points to Jay and pushes Kelly's hands away, trying to stay steady on her feet.
"What the hell is going on? What aren't you telling me?"
Erin takes a breath, stepping forwards "Jay, I-"
"Your co-captain here has been fucking me behind your back, and your best friend has been keeping our dirty little secret." Allie slurs, smirking in satisfaction.
Jay looks wide-eyed at Allie and Severide, frozen on the spot as her words register.
"Jesus Christ, Allie. Enough." Kelly sighs, pulling her along as he tries to get her into his truck.
"Is it true?" Jay suddenly asks.
"Jay." he can hear the regret in Kelly's voice before he can say anything else "I didn't mean for this to happen."
"That's why you apologised tonight, isn't it? Isn't it!?"
"Yeah. Yeah, it was." Kelly says quietly "But there's more to it than that, please."
"You've been sleeping with my girlfriend, and you knew about it!?" Jay turns to face Erin "How long have you known?"
Jay-"
"How long Erin!"
"… about a week-and-a-half."
"What!?" Jay paces back and forth,.
He's so mad, he doesn't understand how things have turned on their head like this, so quickly. He stomps towards the beer bottle that he sees on the ground a few feet away, kicking it as hard as he can and watching it smash against the ground when it lands. Erin flinches. Severide takes the opportunity and picks Allie up and over his shoulder and quickly gets her into the car.
"How could you!? How could you, my best friend, stand there and lie to me! For early two weeks, you let me make an ass of myself! You sat there and said nothing!"
"I was trying to protect you." She answers meekly, trying not to sound as scared as she feels right now. She's never felt scared of Jay before, but she knows how bad his temper can be, and she's worried about escalating the situation more than it already is.
"Protect me!? You lied to me!"
"Jay, please, can we just sit and talk about this? I promise you, there's a reason for all of this, okay? Can we just go home, and I'll tell you everything, please? Let's not do this here."
Jay looks at the crowd of people that seemed to have suddenly appeared, scattered out on the lawn and heads poking out of every window that faces out of the front of the house. He can see their friends at the front of the crowd, watching anxiously, concerned.
"Jay. Jay!" Erin calls out, following him to his car "Jay, please."
"No. I need to go." Jay says.
Erin nods, still following him "Okay, yeah, let's go. Let's just go home, and we can talk about this and-"
"No. I need to go. Alone."
"Jay, come on. Don't do this." Erin begs, standing at his door after he gets in the car "Just let me explain, please."
"The time for talking was when you found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me." Jay sighs, shaking his head "I can't even look at you right now."
He starts the car and backs out of the driveway, "Jay. Jay, wait, please!" Erin yells, chasing after the car "Jay!"
The car turns the corner and Erin stands in the middle of the road. The tears that have been sitting in her eyes finally fall and she crouches down to the ground, curling in on herself as she quietly cries.
"Erin." Kim's gentle voice startles her, her friend leaning down and rubbing her back "Are you okay?"
"No." Erin sobs "It's all ruined, Kim. He's never gonna forgive me."
Kim looks helplessly at Adam, Nadia, and Mouse. None of them know what to do. Mouse steps forward after a moment, hand on Erin's shoulder.
"Come on, we'll take you home."
A/N: Okay, part 4 is done and dusted and I will update on Monday – BUT if y'all leave some review and let me know what you think, maybe I'll be motivated to update sooner (hehe). I hope you all liked this chapter; I know a lot happens, and I feel like I moved through things quite quickly, but if I hadn't I probably would have just ended up waffling on lol
I can't wait for you all to see the final part. It's probably my favourite bit!
Until next time …