--Paradigm shift--
It was so frustrating.
This car. A cat that basically fell in love with her own. And been the one to save her cat from nearly dying. Add to the fact he welcomed her into his house, freely gave her his alcohol, pain pills, food, put up with her full bitch bullshit AND forgave her after rightfully having a reason to kick her out. And above all that, one thing that did not make sense was that he was human.
"Doesn't make sense" She whispered with venom.
"Huh? What doesnt make sense-"
"You" voice a deathly calm, she slowly turned slightly so to allow him to hear her better. Not yet making eye contact. "This. All this, a human, its... fucking weird. Like, what the fuck, what are the chances I chase my cat and he ends up saved by you, your cat wants his dick- You have like the same damn interest in cars. And- you don't seem to care that im a fucking hellhound- like, for fucks sake" by this point she was almost hyper ventilating with confused hostility.
"Hey, slow down, please, its okay.." He was worried, he had to try to get her to relax. She vaguely noticed his close proximty as he tried to talk her down. She, taking erratic breaths each second.
"Don't tell me to fucking calm down!" She growled. Feeling so confused and it took every ounce of will power not to rip him apart. She was beginning to flex her claws subconsciously. This whole thing went against all she had ever known.
"Sorry. And please don't kill me- but I did say say slow, not c-"
"Oh fuck you, the fucks the difference?"
"Heh... like that would happen.." He spoke under his breath not realizing her hearing was much better than that of any humans.
She gave him a growling sneer that said he was going to die. "I dont think understand what kind of position your in. Do you have a death wish?"
"I was just trying to lighten the mood some, my bad. but for real, just give me a chance to speak-" He gave her a moment before continuing, trying reign in his fears of a possibly life endangering moment. Speaking softly he continued.
"So to answer your question. After I adjusted to your appearance and personality I didn't have a problem with what you were. You were the one to tell me to relax in the first place after all. So... I set aside my fears to do that. I don't know, I wanted to just maybe get to know you, and i guess, give you a break from the harsh world you came from,...-"
She was listening intently and didn't interrupt him. She knnew he had a point and his reasons were... thoughtful. It made her feel so torn between the risks she was taking to trust him and the fact he shouldn't even be considered friend in her eyes to begin with, even though he had made a compromise for her, it felt hypocritical and it pissed her off, adding to the already growing number of frustrations brought on by him...
"-...if you let me. As for everything else, theirs plenty of other decent moral people who love both cats and old tuner cars. I'm not that special. It could have been anyone else to find your cat."
"But it WAS you, and if it had been anyone else, wouldn't it have been too late? And what about all this nice guy bullshit? You should have just kicked me out once I got my cat back!"
"Loona-" He pleaded quietly, cringing at how she spew so much viemance towards both him and herself.
"No. I- I just don't know how to accept all this. This- ugh!. Honestly I don't know whether to be thankful or just kill you and get rid of the problem all together, how do I know I can I even really trust you anyway?"
The thought made her eyes glow for a moment, but she shook her head growling darkly, to fight the wrathful bloodlust. Merce could only allow her to get out what ever she had to, regardless what she decided to do to him. He tried his best to prove himself trustworthy but obviously there was alot beneath the surface that he could not comprehend about her.
"If I can't convince you loona, then do what you feel you must, I'm not going to try to stop you, not that I could anyway." He was ready to give up trying to convince her, he had ran out of ideas.
"-grr.. -wait what?" She was struck with a realization, would he really just let her rid him of his existence?"
"You heard me.. what's left to prove?"
"You really wouldn't even care?" She thought humans would fight tooth and nail to survive just about anything.
"I tried all I could, and at this point what else is there. So go on then..."
She looked at him. His face dejected, like he had given up all hope. It looked pitiful. And it made all the rage lose its potency.
She grabbed his neck with her claws, but the pressure behind it wasn't there. Not even enough to draw blood. It would be so easy to do it. No more confusing bullshit. Just get rid of the problem.
It should be so easy, but he didn't flinch, he really was being honest about it. After everything else that could have been faked this wasn't something he could hide from her. It confused the literal hell out of her and reignited frustration she could not comprehend.
She released his neck and directed her attention to anywhere else than his stupid face, which was straight ahead of her at his steering wheel and dash gauges. Speaking more calmly for he first time.
"Ughh, Don't get me wrong, I don't really want these intentions of ripping your throat out, willingly anyway. But, I don't think I should stay here any longer. I don't know what I'll do, but I'm pretty sure I'll actually regret it."
The idea of friendship with a human made her feel so many strange foreign emotions she didn't want to deal with. Even if they offered a repreave from the garbage social life she was used to for so long, the risks of hanging out with him.
"Ugh. FUCK! I can't do this right now! Your so fucking weird, it doesn't make a fuck worth of sense"
She took a breath and tried to calmly continue her train of thought. "Er, I- I gotta get outta here anyway."
She got out of his car and started off in fitful walk to the living room to grab her cat but merc stayed where he was. He was trying to understand why it was so difficult for her, and had a rough idea why. He ran into his room a few moments later and grabbed something of the nightstand, before catching up to her. It might have been childish but it was in the moment so he didn't think twice.
"Loona!, just a sec. Before you leave. Here."
"Grr, What now-" She looked at him with clear ire as she had picked up mitsu off the cattree, who meow'd in a crying fashion, he was totally docile in her gentle grip, trusting her to take him home but also sad to miss his new best friend. Her expression went from silently fuming to blank when she saw what was in his hand.
He held out his hand and within was his tiny model silvia tuner car.
Loona looked at the small gift, trying to comprehend what his intentions were. She then looked at him like he was an idiot.
"What the fuck is this?"
He didn't want to appear like he was offering his pity, because he knew that would probably set her off again, but he was going to do something regardless. "I saw how you didn't want to put it down earlier, and I have another one just like it. I know it's stupid and childish..."
She looked back at the die cast model for what felt like several long seconds before speaking again.
"Why the fuck do you even care, not like you'll ever see me again anyway."
"Even if I never get to see you again, I- want you to know it wasnt all bad hanging out with you. I know it was a rough but I wish it didn't have to be over so soon."
'Why. Why do you have keep pushing me...'
She sighed. "It is childish-"
Clutching her head in frustration and choosing to set down mitsu. Hesitantly she took the 'peace offering'.
"But not that stupid... I guess" Grumbling the last part.
She had a far away look in her eye as she looked at the model in her palm. "Um-
She again was struck by the genuine nature of him. Giving up one of his prized possessions for her. One that he actually took notice of how she seemed to cherish. It made her wonder.
-thanks" She stated a bit awkwardly, in reflection to her previous confused and frustrated hostility.
He visibly relaxed, as she accepted the souvenir. As she was holding back a dam of frustration, anger and regret.
"Your welcome.-
He scratched the back of his head in an awkward fashion.
-uh, so i might never get to see your car but I'm sure its every bit at thrilling as mine is and then some from the way to described it."
'Sucks that you'll never know.'
But she had something she had to hear again, why did he even care.
"Just what even did I do to be worth considering a friend. Because I sure as shit missed it. I dont recall doing much aside from being a complete asshole."
He was saddened by her self loathing attitude, but felt the humility hidden in her question. "Well, for one, I could tell you were stressed out and I wanted to help somehow.
For two, your apology earlier was not something I had expected, I do believe you must have been through some really bad stuff and your still dealing with it, like I said, I just had a genuine interest in wanting to get to know you more, and somehow wanted to prove I could earn your trust. Your not as bad as you think you are."
"But I never-, ... mmm." She let out an exasperated hmpf.
"Not that bad huh? Even after attempting to kill you, what 3 times? I lost count."
"But you didn't, did you?" He smirked. Taking a jab at her where he could.
"Well... grr, that could change so don't tempt me. Fucking weirdo... you don't secrectly have some bdsm fetish do you?"
He laughed at the low blow which he brought on himself. "Haha, no, Loona I'm not into that... but I won't judge if you-"
"Oh, fuck off, this is actually getting weird now." He was doing it again. Ugh... but she broke a smirk despite herself.
She wavered a moment, looking to the floor. "
'Maybe'
She had to cling to any hope, even if was only coming from him.
"-Not making promises you'll see me again. Not because i won't but can't. But for whatever it's worth- your... the first and only human, I'd ever consider- um..." Depressing regret bleeding through her words.
He could sympathize for her struggle to vocalize a difficult feeling into words.
"I hear you loona, it means alot. If you ever wanted someone to talk to or hang out with, I hope you'll try to reconsider. But don't worry about it if not, I'm sure you have plenty of friends back home."
'Ha! What friends... Octavia might as well be a distant memory by now'
She made a sardonic scoff at her own thought, rolling her eyes.
Then narrowing her eyes with uncertainty, focused on the small toy car and then to the floor. 'Why did he have to do that... stupid fucking toy car, stupid fucking words, fuck these emotions!'
"I- Grr" she she lightly shook her head to clear what may have been a hint of forming tears. Her voice a light husky tone above a whisper. "I'm sorry I dont have anything to offer-," She looked at the 'parting gift' once more.
"Don't worry about it. It's not that big of a deal." He tried to play it off chuckling lightly.
She wondered, standing there a while longer, biting her lip with a scowl. 'Well it wouldn't be the same but... I guess its something', she looked off the sliding glass door narrowing her eyes. "you- uh, got a pen?".
His eyes confused, slowly lit up in hopeful realization.
And he bolted to the kitchen rummaging frantically through a few of the cabinets hoping to find anything of relative value. Finally he found a blue ballpoint in drawer and tested it on a random piece of mail he had lying on the counter top. It didn't write so he breathed moist air on it and tapped it on the paper a few times before scribbling some and bringing it back to life.
A slight smirk grew as the idiot went through the trouble to cling at any chance just to stay in contact with her. It made her heart hurt, reminding her she had one. She would have laughed at the comical display of hysteric behavior if she wasn't depressed as fuck at the fact she may never see him again, was actually contemplating missing him? 'Yeah right.. fucking emotions...'
Once he ran back to her and gave her the pen, she took his palm and wrote a ten digit number down on his skin, careful not to cause pain by pressing to hard.
He was stunned, but got over it quickly, as she explained. "You can text it whenever, if you want to... but dont over do it-" She growled and narrowed her eyes with soft glare to get her point across.
He nodded, lips sealed.
"-and DONT call me unless I give you permission or... it's lethal emergency, i guess- If you do, even by mistake, I WILL drop you. And you can forget any second chances if you fuck that up.. we clear?"
"Y-yeah" The thought of accidently dialing her number if he misspressed something or his phone glitched in his pocket became a new worry.
"I suppose you've... earned some trust, so don't go fucking it over something stupid-."
Merce didn't want to interrupt her because he honestly thought every last word might be the last he would ever hear from her if the number she gave him didn't work.
"-anyway, this is sort of goodbye for now. Um, Thanks, for mitsu and- everything." She couldn't belive she was going so far out of her way for this human. It was irritating, but mixed in below the surface was a foreign feeling of something like contentment.
"Your welcome Loona, and I'll text you later" He then added sheepishly "but not too much, I promise."
She huffed. "Right, uh, I should mention, if you don't get a reply for a while, theres a good reason, like I'm working..."
"I gotcha, no worries."
She nodded and moved to her cat which had found his way back to silvi on the cat tree.
Picking up mitsu, she turned to go outside to the backyard where she could leave the way she arrived.
He followed, standing in the sliding glass doorway. As she gave him a last glance, with a blank expression turning to a hint of uncertainty, he returned it in a lazy two finger wave and small sheepish grin. Immediately she fell in, and the portal closed as soon as her feet were through.
Just like that she was gone, only remains were the faint smell of sulphur, lite perfume and an absent hotwheels car.
And her phone number. Couldn'tforget that.