Severus Snape walked slowly down the cobbled road, kicking loose stones into the dingy grass. The sky overhead Spinner's End was gray and cloudy, laying low to the ground and pressing into Severus like a blanket. He stared at the ground as he walked, frowning as he passed a piece of a broken ornament laying in the gutter. He stopped, crushing it with his shoe, hearing the pop of glass underneath the ball of his foot.

He hated Christmas. An excuse for people to feel good about themselves when they give a beggar a dollar and tell all their family and friend's what a great person they were. Those same people raised the children that tortured him mercilessly at Hogwarts or had made fun of his hand-me-down shoes when he was in grade school.

Severus had spent the day wandering around town looking at how full of shit everyone was. As always when he had come home, he'd been spending a majority of his time outside, wandering around alone. He'd had time today to walk all the way to the end of town before looping around and making the long trek back to Spinner's End. He'd swung by the nicer part of town on his way home, mostly to see if Lily was home. Walking along the main stretch of her addition, he had glanced down to see her two-story brick home covered in twinkling white lights. A nauseous amount of red and green light poured through the windows, covering the ten or so cars parked out front of the home in a festive light. He could hear the faint sound of holiday music tinkling lightly through the open windows.

No Lily tonight.

She would have her hands full with her house packed full of muggle guests. He remembered her mentioning the party, but he'd help the faint hope that she would be free this evening. He'd been able to see her a few times over the break, but she'd been so wrapped up with family stuff that she hadn't had much time to get away. It was too cold to meet outside like they normally did during the summer and Petunia had made it painfully clear that he wasn't allowed at their home, so there had been little option for them to see each other. It's not like he could bring Lily back to his home.

Home.

He'd been mulling this word over for the past few weeks, what it meant to him. At one time home had been Spinner's End, or at least if you considered it a home. This was the time before he had been introduced to the gleaming, grey castle that would change his life for the better. But Hogwarts couldn't necessarily be considered his home either. Although he'd been told that Hogwarts was built for people like him, he'd never felt like there was a place for him within its walls. He couldn't even fit into the one place that was supposed to be made for him. Maybe he'd never had a home at all. Maybe he never would.

He looked down the gloomy street to see the dull, brown building at the end of the road that he was supposed to consider home. Several of the windows of the dingy apartment displayed large cracks, branching outwards in a series of spider-like lines. One window was missing altogether, a cheap curtain hung shoddily above the space. A pair of stray cats sat whisked across the empty street.

He felt himself stall, his footsteps slowing as he approached the residence.

Please let him not be home, please let him not be home.

Snape was disgusted at himself as the childish mantra popped into his head unwillingly. He wasn't a child anymore and he wasn't the same person he was when he had first left this apartment to go to Hogwarts. He was too old to be afraid. It was Christmas and he at least needed to make an appearance. For his mother's sake at least.

Squaring his shoulders, he walked up the creaky stairs, down the poorly lit hallway, and slipped quietly into their apartment, the last door on the right.

"Severus Snape!" Eileen hissed as he entered the door, rushing over at him. Snape instinctively took a step back, feeling his chest tighten. So much for growing up.

"Where have you been?" Eileen began brushing off his jacket, small gray clouds of dust and ash puffing off his short coat. Her dark hair was frazzled and she patted it down nervously.

"Out." Severus said simply and shrugged.

"Out." She said in a tense voice, her eyebrows raised.

"EILEEN!" A drunken voice slurred from somewhere deeper in the apartment. Severus felt frozen, every hair on his body stand up. "Get me another drink!"

"Coming!" Eileen cast a worried glance over her shoulder. She leaned down towards Severus, her voice tight and quiet. "Your father's been home for over an hour. He brought Christmas dinner." She nodded to the kitchen table and Severus looked over to see a greasy bag of fast food that had been set next to a bottle of whiskey. The bottle was almost empty.

She hissed quietly. "Now go wash up and try not to talk to your father." She kissed him on the head, then pointed to the sink. "Go!"

Eileen bustled into the kitchen and opened up the fridge to grab a beer before disappearing back further into the apartment. "Severus is home, dear!" Severus heard her say to Tobias in an overly bright voice. "Why don't you come sit at the kitchen table and we can eat the dinner you brought for us?"

Severus felt numb as he went to the sink to wash his hands. He stayed at the sink, running his hands idly underneath the water long after the soap had washed off, as he kept his back to the table in the middle of the room. He tried to keep his arms from shaking as he heard Tobias enter the room and the accompanying thud of him setting his drink down on the table.

"Where you been?" His father's deep voice asked.

"Out." Tobias stated, keeping his back firmly towards his father. When there was silence, he continued. "School stuff." He turned towards the table but kept his eyes on the floor as he walked to grab a seat. Normally that was enough to field off any further questioning from Tobias.

"School stuff, eh?" There was silence as his father took a break to take a pull from his drink. "They got you so busy you can't even enjoy Christmas with your family?"

Severus knew not to answer that. Luckily, he didn't have to as Eileen whisked into the room and began emptying the contents of the paper bag and sorting them.

"Well, thank you, honey!" Eileen said in an insipidly cheery voice as she placed a sandwich in front of Tobias. "Doesn't this look delicious, Severus?"

"Yeah." Severus said quietly. "Thanks, dad."

Eileen continued. "It's not every day that we get to sit down and eat as a family." She pulled out a chair next to Tobias and started to take the paper off of her sandwich. "It's always a special treat." She handed Severus a sandwich and a paper cup of chips.

Severus remained silent as unwrapped his food, Eileen prattling on with a false cheeriness in the background.

Unwrapping the paper, he found a fish sandwich with tartar sauce. Fuck. He was allergic to fish.

He snuck a glance at Tobias, who was staring off into the distance, his eyes glazed and uniterested as Eileen continued on.

He had forgotten, right? Or maybe he had never known since Eileen did all of the cooking. He couldn't have planned it…no one is that heartless. Or maybe he was just looking for a fight.

Severus slowly turned his attention to the chips, solely focusing on not trying to attract attention to himself. The Christmas dinner continued this way for a while, Snape eating his chips, Eileen talking, and Tobias grunting in acknowledgment on occasion as he sipped his drink.

"Not going to finish your food, honey?"

Snape's chest tightened at Eileen's question. "Erm, no, I'm not that hungry." He said quietly.

"Oh, that's okay." Eileen said. "We can just wrap it up then for later, sound alright?"

"Not hungry, huh?" Tobias' voice slurred. "Was this not up to your high standards?"

Keep calm.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sure he just full off the chips..." Eileen said quickly.

Tobias interrupted loudly. "Why don't you just let him talk? How about that?" His grip tightened around his drink. "I mean, Jesus Christ, I can't remember the last you weren't talking."

Severus remained silent, tension thick in the air.

"Hey!" His father snapped his fingers at him. "Boy. I asked you a question. Do you think you're too good for this meal?"

Calm. Calm. Calm.

"No, dad." He stammered. "It was great. I just don't get that hungry. That's all."

His father continued. "Oh really? I took the time, to bring CHRISTMAS dinner, back to you and your mother, and your sorry little ass couldn't even both to be be home on time. And now you won't eat your food. I mean…" He turned to Eileen. "Has he always been this disrespectful? What kind of kid are you raising here?"

Eileen mouthed for words, her expression defeated. "He's a…he's a good boy." She stammered out.

"A good boy." Tobias laughed. "All I see is disrespectful, gutter trash. Here…" He reached out and grabbed Snape's uneaten fish sandwich. "Since this isn't up to your standards…" Tobias threw it across the room, Severus hearing it smack against the wall.

Make a break for it now or stay? He may be able to make it outside before Tobias can grab him.

"Still nothing to say?" Tobias' voice boomed out menacingly. "All your fancy schooling and still nothing to add? Didn't know they taught kids to be nancies' at Hogwarts."

Severus felt a bloom of heat in his chest, but he kept his eyes focused on the table.

Tobias laughed. "Can't even make eye contact with me, can you? God, you're such a coward. A hint of confrontation and you clam up like a turtle."

Coward. The word roared through his mind angrily. Trying to avoid a fight with someone twice his size did not make him a coward. His head was heavy, his chest tight.

He was not a coward. He was a wizard.

And he would no longer put up with this quietly.

Severus looked up, making eye contact with his father, seeing a surprised look on his face. "Coward? Maybe." Severus challenged quietly. "But at least I'm not unemployed, woman-beating piece of shit like you." Severus' hands clenched on the table.

Everything got still.

Tobias' face remained impassive as he reached for a drink of his glass and downed it in in go.

Severus saw a tinge of a smile tug at the corner of his mouth as he set the glass down and met Severus' gaze with intensity. "See? Was that so hard?"

Suddenly Tobias lurched across the table, smacking Severus hard in the mouth and he fell out of his chair. The taste of metallic flooded his mouth and he felt dazed.

"Honey, honey….no." Severus heard Eileen's weak protests before the sound of her yelping as she was thrown into a wall.

"I'm not raising some insolent little shit stain." He roared at Eileen. His voice quieted as he walked closer to Severus. "Kid's need respect." He punctuated that by kicking Severus in the ribs. Severus tried to roll away, moaning. "If you're not going to teach it to him…" He looked back over to Eileen, who was sobbing in a corner. "I will."

With that, he roughly pushed Severus to the ground and sat on top of him like in a schoolyard fight.

Severus felt numb, like he was watching himself from the third person, as his father's fists landed, again and again. At first, he pushed weakly at the weight of the man sitting on top of him, but he stopped as his mind got fuzzier. He felt like he was watching himself from the third person, as his father's fists landed, again and again. His mind started to draw into itself, his eyesight blackening in on the edges. He could feel one of his ribs pop inwards underneath the pressure of the man sitting on top of him.

A flash of light flooded through the apartment and there was a crashing sound from the other side of the room. Severus' felt tears of relief slide down the sides of his face he felt the pressure having been lifted from his chest.

He didn't think, just fled, running out of the flat and sprinting down the stairs.

He didn't think of the sound that the wall had made after the flash of light.

He didn't think of the sight of Tobias, crumpled on the floor next to where he had been projected across the room.

He didn't think about how his life as a wizard may have been over because he had just used underage magic.

Don't think.

Just run.