CHAPTER 3
It took a while, but after all the hugs and greetings were done, as well as Michelle giving Joey his present from Thailand—a Thai-to-English translation book—the entire family took their seats around the living room. With so many people in the house at the same time, DJ had made absolutely sure that there were enough folding chairs to go around. Let's just say it's a good thing that the Tanner family's fanatical organization skills and attention to detail still lives on.
The food was a big hit, too. And yes, it was all made from scratch. Besides DJ's ham—with honey mustard glaze, just like her late mother had always made it—there was shrimp cocktail, potatoes au gratin, green bean casserole, a veggie tray with onion dip, a mixed berry tray with Greek yogurt, dehydrated peach, banana and apricot chips, deviled eggs with avocado filling, a lime Jell-O mold with apple and pear chunks and black seedless grapes, and for dessert, cheesecake, peanut butter fudge, white chip/macadmia nut cookies, and custard pie. For drinks, there was lemonade, soda, iced tea, water, and wine, the last of which was obviously for the grown-ups only. If Gordon Ramsay had been there, he would've been very impressed.
"So, Tommy, how's the gymnastics world been treating you?" Jimmy asked as he helped himself to another bite of shrimp.
"It's been great," he answered. "I don't mean to brag, but I wish you could've been at my last meet to see me win first place on the horizontal bar."
"Is that when you did that one trick—oh, what's it called?"
"The Gaylord II."
"Yeah, that's the one. You know, we recently saw this video on YouTube of Mitch Gaylord doing that at the L.A. Games back in '84. Scared your Aunt Stephanie half to death."
"Mom had the same reaction. In fact, when I was on my way to the locker room, she ran up to me and said, and I quote, 'Thomas Fuller, Jr., I specifically told you not to do that stunt! Are you trying to put yourself in the ICU?!' And of course, everybody heard it."
"Hoo, boy," Jimmy cringed. "Man, I would've been so embarrassed if my mom did something like that."
"Yeah, just be glad you missed that part," Tommy snorted derisively, hiding his displeasure behind a swig of Pepsi. "And to top it all off, she grounded me for a whole week. Don't get me wrong—I know I'm her youngest and she worries about me and my brothers, but she still didn't have to make such a big deal out of it."
"You know, Tommy, I can understand how you must have felt, but I also kind of see why she was upset," Jimmy went on in a cautionary tone as he put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "You're really good gymnast, but some of those tricks that the pros do can be dangerous. You keep rolling the dice out there, and one day, splat!" He slapped his left palm against his right in a downward motion before finishing, "You'll be in a wheelchair with your neck looking like a shattered piñata."
Between his uncle's warning and the idea of never being able to compete again, Tommy didn't know which made him shudder more. His coach had often told him to take it easy, but until now, he'd never given it much thought. His attitude was basically, hey, I'm young, I'm good at what I do, and I never get hurt, so don't bother me. Like most kids his age, Tommy sometimes thought he was indestructible. It wasn't until he and Jimmy were having their little talk that he started to realize where DJ was coming from.
"Wow," he said at last. "No wonder she was so freaked out."
"Exactly," Jimmy agreed. "Sure, she could've been a lot more discreet about it, but like I said, I still understand her position. After all, I have two daughters myself, and I worry about them all the time."
"Point taken."
"Anyway, what I'm getting at is, I want you to promise me that you'll be careful. Not just when you compete, but also when you're out on your own."
"I will," Tommy nodded, and the two of them bump-bombed on it.
Just then, DJ was making her way downstairs with a DVD in her hand. "Slideshow time!" she announced. "Everybody's who's finished eating gather around the TV!"
Upon hearing those words, Tommy happened to glance over his shoulder and see Pamela closing her eyes in dread. "I know what this means," she groaned. "Showing the whole family old photos that you wish your folks had never taken."
"Aw, come on, sis," Nick was saying as he and Alex made their way to the couch. "It won't be that embarrassing."
"Yeah, because you won't be in them," Pamela retorted.
"Now Pamela, remember what we talked about this morning?" Jesse asked her. "About you being a good sport when it comes to this sort of thing?"
"Yeah, I remember, Dad," she answered. "I could recite your whole speech word-for-word, but I'm not going there."
"It won't be so bad," Tommy reassured her as the two cousins took their designated seats in the center of the couch. "I mean, sure, it might be a little awkward, but I doubt the pictures Mom used will be that humiliating."
"If you say so."
"All right, everybody ready for a little stroll down memory lane?" DJ called as she adjusted the dimmer switch on the wall. Michelle had just put the DVD in the player and was picking up the remote.
"Ready when you are," Danny answered over the cacophony of yeses. "If spring-cleaning is my Christmas, home movies and family photos are my New Year's."
Amidst the scattered chuckles, Michelle handed DJ the remote and took her place behind the couch.
Since there were so many people, here's how the seating arrangements went: Tommy and Pamela in the center of the couch, being the guests of honor, Jackson and Rocki beside him with Malachi, Jesse and Becky beside Pamela, Stephanie and Jimmy in the armchairs, Michelle, Danny, Vicky, and Joey standing behind the couch, Kimmy and Fernando standing at either end, Nick, Alex, Danielle, Jessica, and Ramona sitting on the floor in front of them, and DJ standing off to the side.
The slideshow started off with an old Fuller family photo: DJ, Tom Sr., and all three boys on the day Tommy was born. The others were standing around DJ's hospital bed as she held Tommy in her arms. So far, so good, Tommy thought. As long as it didn't include any pictures that would make him consider changing his name and moving to another planet, everything was okay.
Other pictures included their first days of school, Pamela in her Gretl costume at the community center's production of The Sound of Music, and Tommy at eight years old, in his gym shorts and tank top as he knelt on a tumbling mat, holding one of his trophies. One particular photo really brought a smile to their faces: their trip to Aqua Adventure Water Park on Pamela's ninth birthday. In that photo, Jackson and Ramona were standing in the pool with Tommy and Pamela sitting on their shoulders. As Tommy remembered it, Max had taken that photo just as his camera's battery was dying.
"How are you holding up?" Tommy whispered to his cousin as the photo of he and his brothers in their bear costumes appeared, much to Jackson's chagrin.
"Pretty good," she answered. "You know, Tommy, I think you were right about this."
"See? Told you so."
Unfortunately, the next photo told him otherwise. In that one, DJ was kneeling beside the tub and washing Tommy's hair. That was bad enough, but even more embarrassing, Tommy was doing the same to Pamela's hair. Thankfully, he was only shown from the waist up, but it still got a relentless barrage of laughter and "AWWW!"'s from everybody.
"Oh, God!" he groaned, holding his head in his hand. "Mom, why did you include that one!"
"Hey, at least it wasn't the one of you, me, Max and those puppies bathing in tomato juice," Stephanie pointed out.
"It reminded me of when your aunts and I used to brush each other's hair," DJ answered her son. "Remember that, Michelle?"
"Yeah, I think I do," she said. "Let's see, I was brushing my doll's hair, Steph was brushing mine, and DJ was brushing Steph's."
"Yeah, but you weren't in the tub!"
"Hey, don't worry so much about it, kiddo," Alex reassured Tommy as he patted his shoulder. "If it'll make you guys feel any better, when we were in that music video Dad did when we were babies, billions of people saw us in diapers."
"And it's still going on today," Nick pointed out. "Thanks a lot, YouTube."
"You boys were so cute in that video, too," Becky said sweetly. "And so were you, Jess."
"Well, of course I was," Jesse laughed.
"Uh, that doesn't really help, guys, but thanks for trying," Tommy muttered. He really didn't think this evening could get any worse.
Naturally, he was wrong.
"WHAT. ON, EARTH," he heard DJ exclaim, and there was no mistaking her tone of voice. When he dared to look up, only then did he realize what was going on. Malachi had just come running in from the laundry room, and he was buck naked. Anyone with a toddler knows that a no-clothes phase sometimes goes with the territory, especially if the kid is either on the autism spectrum or has sensory issues regarding certain fabrics or types of clothing. But it was still a moment that Tommy would've rather not seen.
"Wh—Malachi, where are your clothes?" Rocki stammered as she quickly whisked him up in her arms. When he pointed in the direction of the laundry room, she then asked him, "Well, why'd you take them off?"
In no time flat, Malachi looked away from Rocki with a guilty expression on his face. "I'm not angry, sweetie; I just wanted to know why," she explained. But Malachi still wouldn't answer her, so Jackson got up and went over to them.
"It's all right, son," he reassured the boy. "Just tell Mommy and me why you took your clothes off."
"Yucky," he told them, still avoiding eye contact. "Messy."
At first, Jackson thought that Malachi had an accident or thrown up, and was afraid that he'd be in trouble; so he took his son, squeezed past Ramona, and made his way to the laundry room. When they got there, Malachi pointed to his clothes, which were lying in a crumpled heap on the floor next to the washing machine. To his relief, Malachi had actually spilled food all over them. His shirt was covered in Jell-O stains, and his pants and socks were soaked through with lemonade.
"Oh, I get it now," Jackson said. "Malachi? Malachi, look at Daddy."
Malachi turned to look at Jackson. He still felt guilty about his little mishap, but at least he wasn't, as the old cliché says, crying over spilled milk—or in this case, Jell-O and lemonade.
"You're not in trouble," Jackson went on. "I understand why you took them off, but next time you spill something, let one of us know, okay?"
"Okay, Daddy."
"That's more like it. All right, let's see if we can find you something to wear. If I know your grandma, she's never gotten rid of any of the clothes your uncles and I wore when we were two."
After setting Malachi down, Jackson gathered up the messy clothes, stuffed them into a plastic bag, and led him upstairs. Through the kitchen, that is.
Meanwhile, DJ had just finished scrubbing the last of the spilled lemonade off the floor. "You got it, Deej," Stephanie insisted.
"Yeah, DJ," Ramona added. "Any longer and you'll make a hole in the floor."
"Well, then that means I'm doing it right," DJ said as she wadded up the Lysol wipes and threw them in the nearby wastebasket. "Isn't that what you always said, Dad?"
"Well, I don't know about that, but I did teach you girls to be thorough," Danny answered.
"Hey, you can steam-clean the whole downstairs if it means no more bath photos or streaking two-year-olds," Tommy half-joked.
"Aw, come on, it wasn't that big a deal," Kimmy said. "I could tell you plenty of stories about Ramona's youthful indiscretions."
"Don't you dare," Ramona growled through clenched teeth. And you didn't need a PhD to know that she meant business.
"All right, no sharing any stories about your offspring or siblings," Jesse told everybody. "And that goes for all of you."
As a favor to both Tommy and Pamela, the others agreed.
Just when the slideshow was wrapping up—with a picture of Pamela in costume for the high school's recent production of Little Women, in which she'd played Jo March—Jackson came back downstairs with Malachi in his arms. And yes, he'd found the boy something to wear. It was the grey rainbow tracksuit that Tommy had worn for his preschool evaluation.
"Can you believe it, Mom?" Jackson chuckled. "It fits him perfectly."
"Awww, look at you!" DJ gushed. "You look just like Unkie Tommy!"
"I was going to say the Lucky Charms guy, but that works, too," Rocki commented.
No sooner had Michelle taken the DVD out of the player did DJ's phone ring. "Hello?"
"Hi, Mom!"
"Max! Hi, sweetheart! Hold on a sec!"
She connected her phone through the TV, and there was her middle son's bearded, grinning face. He had on a grey surgical cap, a white mask hanging around his neck, and a blue smock. Obviously, they were at the hospital, and Rose had just given birth.
After a seemingly endless chorus of hellos, DJ asked, "So, how are you and Rose doing?"
"Great! She had twins!"
"No way! Really?" Tommy grinned. "Awesome! Have you come up with names yet?"
"As a matter of fact, we did," Max answered. "In keeping with the tradition of passing on family names, we named our daughter Joanna Lee, after Joey, and our son's name is Michael Thomas, after Rose's grandpa, and, of course, Dad."
"That's wonderful," DJ smiled. "How soon can we see them?"
"Well, Rose is still a little out of it right now, and the babies are in the nursery, but don't worry, Mom; you'll get to soon enough," Max said. "Hey, sorry to cut this short, but I need to get off here now. Rose says hi, she loves and misses you, and she can't wait for you to meet the babies."
"Great. Neither can we."
"Baby?" an excited Malachi asked, looking around the room. "Where?"
"They're not here, Malachi," Rocki said. "They're with Uncle Max and Aunt Rose, but you'll get to see them soon."
"Okay, Mommy."
"Oh, and Tommy?" Max continued. "Sorry we had to miss your graduation."
"Aw, that's okay, bro. Mom and Steve'll be taping it anyway, so it'll be on yours and Rose's Facebook pages before you know it."
"Good deal. Okay, I've really got to go now."
A round of good-byes and well wishes later, and Max had hung up. For some reason, he didn't say a word about what Malachi was wearing. Either he didn't notice, or he was in too big a hurry to comment.