A lot has happened since I last wrote to you. This is the third letter. It's now been ten days since the incident. That's still the only way I can refer to it. It wasn't an accident.
Dr. Falstad got a bit irritated with me yesterday. He says I should look for a professional to talk with here in Japan. But I've known him for most of my life. He's been there for me ever since my parents passed away. Maybe I've talked about him with you before, but maybe not. I don't know. It's a significant time difference for us, but I don't know if I can handle giving him up. Maybe I'll just call him in the middle of the night here when it's normal working hours in Oslo.
I know I told you about Fubuki the other day. Well, to update that story is to make it even more strange. So, the day after he saw me naked, he did show back up with a song written and his ukelele. And he performed it for me. How long do you think the song was? Three minutes? Five? I lost count it was so long. He proudly told me when he finished, though. Twelve minutes. He wrote a song that went on for twelve minutes. Can you believe that? Maybe you can. You've known him a lot longer than I have.
And to top it all off, he invited me over for dinner with him and Asuka. It was strange, leaving the apartment. I hadn't done that since everything. I forgot what the air smelled like. How crisp and clean it could smell. More importantly, he mentioned that the person that did this to you was still unidentified. That's not how it's supposed to be. And the more I think about it, the more painful it is. Like, my heart feels icy when I picture his face. The little that I could see is burned in my memory. His eyes.
No, not in our letters. I need to change the topic. When Dr. Falstad told me to write everything that came to mind and not erase what I had already written (only editing is allowed), I wasn't sure what to think. But, I think just getting it all out on paper is actually helping me a bit.
Only upon returning home from Fubuki's did I realize that our home smelled like my running shirts at the end of the week. You did always like to catch me before I showered on Fridays. It's been two Fridays. And I hate that it happened on a Friday. It's been ruined forever.
And then this morning. Kenzan showed up and wanted to help. And his idea of helping me was for us to Duel. I only made it two turns before breaking down. I don't know if I'll ever be able to Duel again. Not only was that our thing together, but it's also what caused all of this. If I had just accepted the Duel instead of you, maybe things would be different.
I don't know how you're going to get this letter. Did you get the other two? No one is staying in the hospital room with you now. Fubuki says that the doctors are concerned that you're not healing. Especially your face. Your cheekbone is shattered. More than a few teeth are chipped. Your eyebrow is busted. You have a serious concussion. Your jaw is dislocated. Your wrist is cracked. Below your knees is unknown. Your ribs are severely bruised and one is possibly cracked. And so many other small and possibly compounding injuries that I cannot remember and cannot understand because I'm in no way a doctor. I can deal with a sprained ankle, but that's about it.
How are you going to heal? I know fusing with Yubel made you stronger, but can they even fix you? If you manage to heal, will you be the same? No, of course you won't. I won't, and I do not have these injuries.
What is there to do? What can I possibly do? If I go see you, would you even be awake? Or coherent enough to know it was me? What do you look like? Would it do more harm than good? Would it be scarring? It just makes me so tired.
I slept on the floor at Fubuki's and Asuka's place last night. They made the couch up for me, but the floor felt so much more comfortable.
I just want this nightmare to end. And if I cannot go to you, I know what I can do. I'm going to find the man that did this to you.
Even if it kills me.