Chapter Three
Dipper groaned quietly as he ever so slowly worked his way back from unconsciousness, the effects of the sleep spell wearing off. His eyes fluttered open and he hissed as even the low ambient light hurt them before his vision settled and came into focus. As his vision returned, so did his other senses — and he realized he was hanging from his wrists.
Dipper looked to his right to find Mabel still unconscious and hanging from identical chains. They had been moved to the tiny local Emperor's guard outpost that was staffed by the hilariously incompetent Blubs and Durland ... who were nowhere to be found. Dipper flinched at the sound of more chains rattling to find Candy, Grenda, and Pacifica all loosely chained to a metal ring in the center of the cell by a single wrist each — except for Grenda who was encased in a full iron pillory that was chained to the floor.
Pacifica looked up from her place on the floor and gasped at the sight of Dipper awake. She stood and rushed toward him, yelping as the chain holding her snapped taut before she could reach him and digging into her slim wrist. She yanked at the chain a few times, apparently out of sheer defiance, before her look of frustration fell into one of sadness. She turned back to Dipper and reached out to him, only able to get within a few inches. Dipper groaned and tried to move his hands closer to her, but gave up a fight against gravity.
"What happened?" Dipper asked, his words slurred with residual grogginess.
"We covered your escape, but only got one," Pacifica explained. "I had him tied up and Grenda reeled him in. But he threw off the mayor's guards, then he wised up and cast a spell to sink us into the ground up to our necks. That broke my focus and he escaped to chase after his friends. After that, they came back with you two over their shoulders and brought us to this dreary cell for 'obstructing official business,' or whatever."
"It has been almost an hour since our capture," Candy informed. "And though we are all scratched up, I cannot help heal us. They placed us in these," she held up her manacled wrist, "to suppress our magic and prevent an escape attempt."
"YEAH, AND THE BIG GUY WON'T STOP WATCHING US LIKE A PERV," Grenda added. Dipper blinked and looked past the bars of the cell to find the big one with the tusks watching them intently, the white cloak of the Emperor's Coven hanging from his shoulders.
"Who are you?" Dipper asked.
"Someone who thinks it's foolhardy to talk to prisoners," the large demon replied dryly.
"Oh c'mon," Mabel said thickly, apparently having woken up too. "You're Emperor's Coven, right? We know you are, so you might as well drop the act. We also know you want our Grunkles, you jerks."
"Which means you took us to use as leverage," Dipper said, picking up Mabel's line of thought in true twin fashion. "Or maybe to get insight on how our great uncles operate?" He scoffed. "Well here's all you need to know: You're gonna fail. Great-Uncle Ford is the most knowledgeable witch I've ever heard of. He makes you so-called elites look like petty dabblers, at best."
"And Grunkle Stan has more magic than all of you phonies combined!" Mabel shouted. "Maybe he doesn't know as much as Grunkle Ford, but what he knows he knows right. And he can fight way longer than any of you!"
"Oh we know," said the female witch that had chased the twins, the triclops. "We've been watching our previous failures with the best Oracle witches in the Isles. We've seen how formidable your great uncles are." She smiled cruelly. "Which, of course, is why we choose not to fight them."
"You're holding them hostage to force the Stans to fall in line," Pacifica said. It was a statement, not a question; something her ancestors would have done before she vowed to redeem the Northwest name. "Typical," she said, rolling her eyes. "If you know so much, how do you know the Emperor's Coven hasn't tried this tactic before and failed?" she asked snidely. They hadn't, but maybe it would throw them off.
"The Emperor's Coven keeps meticulous records, Ms. Northwest," the triclops replied with a grim smile. "Nice try, but we won't be deterred so easily."
"Easy or not, you will be deterred," Candy piped up. "The Spines family is not to be trifled with."
The triclops raised an eyebrow at the simple confidence in the little witchling's words. There was no hero-worship or bravado in them, just simple truth. "Oh, I assure you all that we are not underestimating them." Her grim smile grew a bit as an idea came to her. "But I'm being rude. I haven't even introduced myself." She bowed a bit.
"I am Lieutenant Sandra Iris." She gestured to the big one. "This is Corporal Bristle Tusk. And our leader is-" The door to the cell block slammed open to reveal the man himself, his body covered in Healing Coven bandages and patches, and a heavy scowl on his face. He strode to take a place between his subordinates and passed his hard gaze over each witchlong in turn, his eyes growing colder at the sight of Mabel.
"I am Captain Fin O'Leander," he finished. His eyes narrowed at Dipper tensing just a bit at the name and he smiled wryly. "I see my reputation has preceded me." The smile faded. "If you are aware of my reputation, boy, then you are aware that I have never failed to acquire a target. And my methods are … most effective."
O'Leander leaned toward the cell bars. "Let us hope the wild witches care as much about you as we think. Otherwise … things will not end well for any of you." He turned and gestured for Iris to follow him out, again leaving the group alone with Tusk.
So focused on the prisoners, none of them noticed the shape of a rat in the air vents of the prison block. The rodent dripped a bit of Abomination goo before its eyes flashed gold and it settled to watch the children.
At the Mystery Shack, Ford was writing down everything he had heard through the connection with his rat-shaped Abomination, even sketching the members of the task force that had taken the kids. Three years in one of the most remote locations of the Boiling Isles was hardly time to recover from thirty years travelling the Realm Horizon to destroy a certain rhombus-shaped eldritch creature in a bowler hat and long tie.
Luckily, Stanley maintained a few contacts in other regions of the Isles. As soon as he'd heard the operatives' names he'd run to the Shack's personal crystal ball, the one Ford had tweaked to be untraceable. When his notes were done, Ford moved on to preparing for the inevitable confrontation, first by sending an avian Abomination to contact Fiddleford and then by the process of arming himself and gathering Stanley's weapons.
By the time Ford had finished and redonned his favored long coat armed with the enchantment for Witch's Wool, Stanley returned to the basement and laid out everything he had learned about Fin O'Leander, Sandra Iris, and Bristle Tusk. The intel was useful, even if the reputations of these … individuals made him nervous for the kids' sakes.
O'Leander was a Healing specialist, though his unconventional use of the art had earned him a position as an interrogation expert. His unique interrogation method, known as "plaguing," involved him using his skills to produce large acute wounds all over the body, literal tears in the skin and muscle that were exceedingly painful, which he would then fill with salt. He would then heal these wounds to trap the salt in the victim's body. Over time, the collective agony could crack even the most dogged of resistance.
Iris was a Oracle specialist with a particular talent at gathering information. Using a powerful and experienced oracle wraith, one passed down in her family for generations, she could View a location's past with exceptional accuracy. What made this even more impressive was that, unlike most others, she need not be at this location to View these events. Ford pursed his lips and considered the Field of Weirdness Magnetism that made remote Viewing of the Falls so difficult. While he was confident it clouded her vision, it would be foolish to assume she had no insight into their abilities.
The last of the bunch, Tusk, was a brute. He had gained his rank of corporal through violence against the targets he was directed to. His magic was strong, but also limited almost solely to the Construction field. Records that Stanley's contacts had unearthed showed that he was relegated to simple, direct missions with little need for strategy, a thug who served the Emperor with his strength and little else.
Which begged the question of why a single-minded thug had been assigned to a covert mission with an interrogator and a seer. Could it be to cover the weaknesses of his squadmates? That might imply the others were less than inclined toward open combat.
"So how're we gonna handle this, Sixer?" Stan asked. "Full-on assault? See if we can freak 'em out into a panic?"
"No," Ford said grimly. "Even with the fact that I don't know if we'd succeed, they could easily use any of the kids as hostages." He scratched his chin in thought. "If we were to even consider such a plan, we'd need to get the kids out first."
"Or give them an opening to get themselves out," Stan said. At those words, both twins paused and looked at each other, communicating in a way only twins, war buddies, and long-married couples could. "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Stan asked with a grin.
"For once, Stanley, I believe we are in complete agreement," Ford said with an identical grin. Ford cast a spell to illuminate the scrying mirror and contact those they would need. "Gentlemen, the Order is in danger. But there is a way out. Here's the plan."
Shink, click, clink. Shink, click, clink. Shink, click, clink.
While most might be irritated by the incessant three sounds, no one in the cell was overly bothered by it. For one, it kept the alternative of crushing silence somewhat at bay, and for two it was clearly bothering Corporal Tusk given his lips twitching every time the cycle started again.
The cycle starting again, Pacifica flicked open a device from the Human Realm — something called a "Zippo" — flicked the switch to spark its small flame like a low-level fire spell, and then flicked the lid shut to snuff it out. She did this over and over, the cycle seemingly never ending.
As she did, Dipper kept his gaze on her, his mind sent back to that crazy night three years ago. To the last grand party of the Northwest Family, when he had been tricked into capturing a vengeful spirit to preserve the party until the ghost had escaped and turned the partygoers to wood before nearly burning Northwest Manor to the ground. It hadn't been Dipper who had saved the day that night; it had been Pacifica herself, when she opened the gates to the people of Talus Falls and fulfilled her ancestor's broken promise.
That was the day Dipper had seen a glimpse of the real Pacifica. The day he had taken the first step toward falling for her.
But after the ghost had escaped and before her act of heroism, Dipper had found her in a situation much like this one. Seemingly hopeless and biding the time until judgement. She'd been casting light spell after light spell then, a mindless gesture that rang with self-loathing and even hints of a death wish. Dipper still had no idea how he'd known what to say to help her, but was glad to this day that he'd known then.
He himself had given her that Zippo artifact last summer. It was a small thing, too small for Soos to use as an exhibit for the Mystery Shack. And though the lovable handyman-turned-Mr.-Mystery had tried using it as a showman's tool, it hadn't garnered much reaction. And so Dipper had asked for it to give to the girl he had a crush on, and she had accepted it with a faint smile.
That was the third reason no one stopped Pacifica's little routine. Who would want to stop her using a gift from Dipper?
"I can't take it anymore!" Tusk shouted, rising with such force that his chair fell back and all but tearing the cell door open to grab at Pacifica's lighter. Like lightning, Pacifica and Candy dodged from his path and tugged on their chains, which served to trip up the corporal and send him careening into the wall. He was stunned for only a moment, but that was long enough for Mabel to give a shout of effort and twist her hips to wrap her legs around his neck from behind, cutting off his airflow.
While he was distracted, Dipper had dropped one boot and used his toes to grab the ring of keys at Tusk's belt, tossing them to Candy to begin unshackling herself. She had just freed herself when Tusk got enough leverage to wrench Mabel off of him, but by then Candy had cast a light green spell circle and tossed it to settle around Tusk's temples. All of them heard the faintest trace of a soothing tune that calmed Tusk's temper and soon had him collapsing into heavy snores.
"Wow, that was awesome!" Mabel commented. "How did we do all of that? I mean it just all kinda came together!"
"We've known each other for years," Pacifica shrugged as Candy unshackled her," I guess it comes with perks."
Candy made quick work of Grenda's pillory, allowing the large girl to catch Mabel as Candy unlocked her restraints. Pacifica took the initiative to catch Dipper as he stumbled to the ground and steadied himself on her, both of them clearly taking comfort in the contact and drawing it out a bit longer than necessary.
Then, almost as one, the quintet of witchlings bolted for the door. Pacifica cast a quick glamour over them all, a concealing spell that would render the group as an unidentifiable blur as they raced down the outpost corridors. No one commented that Pacifica knew a full-invisibility spell, assuming it was too advanced to cover such a large group with no preparation.
As they finally made it to the entrance hall of the guard outpost, they finally ran into Blubs and Durland. "What in tarnation-?" the sheriff and deputy asked in perfect unison before Granda shoulder checked them as the blurred group passed, sending both careening into opposite walls. "Sorry, guys!" Mabel called over her shoulder.
The group rushed through the front doors of the outpost and began making their way back toward the main town. "I can't believe it was that easy!" Mabel shouted. "We're home free!"
Not a split second after she'd said that, Dipper pulled her back to avoid a bolt of lightning that crashed where she would have been running, the shockwave from the thunder pushing all of them back a few steps. The other two Emperor's Coven members strode from the treeline with utter confidence.
"Damn. Missed," Iris growled.
"No matter," O'Leander assured her. "Having the twins alive will make for better bait." Iris conjured a hand-held globe of purple flames while O'Leander formed an illusory scimitar. "Normally, young ones, the Emperor frowns upon harming children who may grow into valuable assets for the Isles. But in your case, I think the rot of nonconformity may be too deep. I think he will forgive snuffing out a few future threats after the Spines brothers are dealt with."
Both Dipper and Mabel tensed to snap a reply, but a sudden feeling settled over the forest path and kept them quiet. It was a feeling of … tension. Like the Isles were holding their breath in anticipation for something. It was a feeling the younger twins were all-to-familiar with.
With a crack of thunder, Stanford Spines appeared floating in the air above them all, witch's staff in hand and expression thunderous, verging on murderous.
"Ah, Doctor Spines," O'Leander greeted, seemingly dismissing the teens from his world. "I see you got our invitation." That very line had provoked the Owl Lady herself into action, why not another wild witch?
And just like Eda Clawthorne, Stanford replied with a barrage of spells, though this was something neither officer of the Emperor's Coven had seen before — like fireballs wrapped in lightning. The barrage sent the duo running for cover out of sheer survival instinct. And it also gave Stanley time to get from the treeline to the kids and erect a wall of stone to protect them.
"I'll take the doctor directly," O'Leander called to his Lieutenant. "Provide support!" He didn't have to look to see her nod, and the captain conjured a wall of thorny vines for cover as he lunged into the open and prepared a spell to fight back against the old wild witch.
As O'Leander engaged Stanford, Iris cast a spell circle around herself to glimpse the immediate future, a tricky but very useful Oracle spell that was invaluable in such a firefight. But as the spell was completed, it not only fizzled out but sent a barrage of psychic feedback that pierced her mind like a frozen spear. Iris shrieked in pain and clutched her head, but the feeling was gone as quickly as it had appeared. She glanced up, breathing heavily, and noticed the faintest light of some kind of thin barrier of pale blue magic. But rather than a hardened barrier, it was thin and flowing like mist.
"Now y'all don't go cheatin', young lady," a voice said behind her. Iris turned to find a witch wearing strange green spectacles perched on a long round nose and a thick white beard, dressed in a crisp white shirt and overalls with a ridiculous black hat. A gnarled staff was in his hand, topped with a sea serpent palisman. "While my old friend deals with yer cap'n, how 'bout you try yer mettle against me?" The old man cackled and cast a circle that sent stones hurtling at her. Iris dodged and prepared a spell of her own.
At the same time, Stan was keeping the teens low behind his barricade when he heard a shout like an enraged animal. He looked back to find that Tusk jerk scraping his foot along the ground like a bull and a dozen Emperor's guards that had appeared from who-knew-where.
"Think you kids can handle the coneheads while I deal with the pig?" Stan asked. When they all nodded, he grinned and cast a pair of red spell circles that hardened his hands like stone. Even with his cataracts, he could see Tusk do the same with orange magic. The tusked demon roared and charged ahead of the guards, and stan laughed as he charged right back. He ducked Tusk's first strike and retaliated with a punch to the kisser. "C'mon, pigeon! Show me what you got!"
As Stan engaged Tusk, the witchlings all prepared themselves to fight. The Emperor's guards had a reputation for collecting the magical rejects of the Emperor's Coven, and that was not an unfounded stereotype. But what they lacked in magical power they made up for in cooperation and their armor that left them fairly physically strong and all but indestructible.
Dipper cast a light-blue spell circle the size of his torso and thrust his hand into its center before waving his arm to spread it and a half-dozen identical circles across the ground. "Abominations, rise!" he commanded, summoning forth a group of sludge monsters a head taller than himself and ready for combat.
Pacifica had done the same with a dozen lavender spell circles, conjuring solid images of herself armed with dual sabers. They wouldn't last much more than a solid hit, but they could act as a distraction from her real friends. With another spell, she summoned her own illusory blades and prepared herself to fight.
Mabel cast a pink circle that reformed into a bolt of magic that flew into the sky and away. With that done, she cast another circle and slapped it to the ground to raise a Fire-Throated Hyacinth, a red semi-sentient flower that spat flames as a natural defense. The flower, empowered by Mabel's magic, shrieked and began gathering flames into its closed flower. 'Thanks for the tips in Plant magic, Wendy,' Mabel thought gleefully.
Grenda took an approach much like stan's, casting orange circles that hardened her hands before taking a boxing stance. She smashed her fists together with a sound like thunder and laughed in the face of confrontation.
Finally, Candy cast a circle above herself that began to slowly pulse like a pumping heart with a subtle beat. As the guards drew closer, the beat began to change into a style of music she had heard on one of Stan's human devices that Soos had fixed up. "Rock and roll," it was called, and her magic in the music built up her friends' resolve while terrifying the guards. [~Gravity Falls metal theme~]
As the witchlings charged for the guards with a collective battle cry, it left Ford to continue battling O'Leander. He cast a protective barrier to block the captain's slew of fireballs, but unlike a normal barrier that would let them disperse, ford's spell wrapped around the spells and sent them hurtling back at their source and forcing O'leander to dodge again. Ford landed and slammed his staff before slamming it to the dirt, forming a growing sinkhole of mud that threatened to catch his opponent.
Acting quickly, O'Leander leapt over the mud and cast a quick wind spell to lift him up and over the rest. If he could make it to the trees, he'd have an advantage over the aged witch. But even before he'd cast his spell, Stanford was spinning his staff to conjure a burning golden spell circle that in turn formed a whirlwind that caught the captain and slammed him into the mire up to his waist. And for the coup de grace, Ford wreathed his staff in lightning before plunging the end into the mud — sending the surge of electricity directly to O'Leander and wracking him painfully into half-conscious submission.
Ford wiped his brow, breath heavy with exertion, before looking up at a pained cry. Tusk was flying through the air and splashed into the mire as well, sinking up to his shoulders. Stan landed from what had no doubt been a flying tackle and produced his Mr. Mystery cane topped with a carved eyeball. But the cane continued to lengthen into its true shape of Stan's staff, topped with his opossum palisman Shanklin. He swung the staff into a circle that hardened the mud into a stone prison for the corporal.
And as if on cue, Lieutenant Iris slid backwards across the ground with a spell circle around her temples that left her twitching but otherwise unharmed. Ford snorted at the spell invented by his old friend — one that harnessed the energy of the mind to sustain itself in a waking dream — before the man himself strode into the clearing.
"Evenin' Ford, Stanley," Fiddleford cackled, his forefinger tracing a small circle that sustained Iris's mental prison.
"'Sup, McGucket," Stan grunted. He bent his back to audible crackling. "Oof, ow. Everything hurts."
"You'll be fine, Stanley. I'll whip you up a numbing potion and a hot bath will do the rest," Ford said before smiling at his best friend — after Stan. "Well done, Fiddleford. As always."
All three elder witches looked across the way to see the coven guards spread out and in various states of injury or imprisonment. At least one was enveloped in an abomination, another in vines of a Vile Snare plant. One was being chased by a swarm of cackle birds, another pursued by a wild schvine boar. All of the others were groaning and even weeping in pain as they lay across the ground.
As for the kids, all of them looked exhausted but not seriously hurt. Dipper was casting a spell to heal a wound on Pacifica's calf, though Ford noticed he took longer than necessary to release his gentle grip; he took even longer to let go of her hand when he pulled her to her feet. Mabel and her friends were chattering loudly about the fight, highlighting and imitating highlights.
"Alright, kids!" Stan shouted, casting a spell to knock out the struggling Tusk and another to haul him out of the solid mud and suspend him in the air. "Let's head back!"
In answer, the kids all grinned and the twins started chanting "Spines! Spines! Spines!"
This is the last major chapter, but there is an epilogue on the way. Stay tuned for that!
*The "Realm Horizon" could be considered the mystical-equivalent to the multiverse. Ford was sucked into it after being tricked in building a functioning portal until Stan pulled him back much like in GF canon.
*The backstories of the Emperor's coven members were very fun to come up with. hope ya'll liked that. Their names were inspired thusly: ^Fin is a common name in Ireland, and an oleander is a poisonous flower, to me very evocative of a medieval doctor. ^Sandra is short for "Cassandra" a famous mythological seer and Iris is the colored portion of the eye, connecting both her three eyes and her use of foresight. ^Bristle is a stiff hair found on the backs of pigs and can also be used as a verb meaning to get angry or prepare to fight, while tusk is the long teeth of a boar - both relating to Tusk's boar-like appearance.
*The fight scenes were fun to write too! I really liked exploring facets of magic. And with the drop of tons of information for Owl House Season 2 yesterday, hopefully we'll be seeing a lot more of it in canon!
*Fiddleford's specialty is Orcale magic and he is the one who has "taken" each Emperor's Coven members memories, basically the spell version of canon-McGucket's memory gun.
!In case some of you don't know, Owl House season 2 will premier June 12th! The season 2 intro/theme clip has been released and it looks AMAZING! The first five episode titles and descriptions have been released, too, and we will have 10 episodes for season 2A & 11 for season 2B, making a total of 21 season 2 episodes!
If you liked this chapter and the story so far, leave a review! Otherwise, may your inspiration flow freely!