The Way You Make Me Feel

Chapter Three

"Normal Speech"

'Thoughts'

'Mind Read Thoughts'

Lena resisted the urge to swallow feeling like even a minute shift from her frozen in head lights look would cause Alex to pull the trigger. She had witnessed now on multiple occasions just how capable and lethal the older Danvers sister was, almost a Supergirl in her own right. To be on the receiving end of that lethality was an intense experience.

Her eyes flicked from the gun with the glowing blue tip to the eyes of the DEO Director whose gaze did not waver from hers. 'And just when I was warming up to Alex once more.'

Pushing into Alex's mind just to find out exactly how fucked she actually was she was bombarded by a multitude of emotions and words. Alex's mind seemed to be running at a mile a minute as was her emotions. There was a red hot anger that Lena dared not touch, there was an intense level of anticipation and a tinge of fear but what floored Lena was the level of worry that she was exhibiting, worry for Lena.

'... Damn it. Fuck! Who the hell is this? Is this Lena? If so then why the eyes. They remind me of the Phorians and Lena did try and save that Phorian a few days ago? Did it kill and replace Lena? That makes no sense since Phorians aren't shape-shifters and the lab test confirmed that the dead Alien was a Phorian. Fuck! Why isn't she saying anything. Shit! I don't want to shoot her. Even if she isn't Lena, she looks too much like our Lena to just shoot… "

'Our Lena,' Lena thought to herself as she pulled back out of Alex's chaotic mind. How could she explain? Even if she gave evidence of every interaction they had ever had together, Alex knew well enough that mind reading and shape shifting Aliens exist. Hell some of them were able to do both.

And even as Lena catalogued her list of options which were very limited, she saw Alex's trigger finger twitch and knew that if she didn't give Alex an answer she was a goner.

Finally Lena just decided to go for broke and trust in Alex that she would believe her at least for long enough that she could confirm through a lab test that she was actually Lena.

With a long sigh she began. "When Lex and Supergirl fought and we thought him dead, he wasn't. I knew he had escaped because I know him. So I figured out where he went and…" Lena struggled to admit this, not because she regretted doing it but she was afraid of what Alex would think of her. Without realizing it she had made it so that Alex Danvers' opinion of her mattered a lot more to her than Lena thought it would. "... I put him down. I shot him. Three times. In the chest."

She waited for the feeling of disgust detected by her passive empathy that never came. She watched as Alex's tight grip on the gun loosened and Lena saw Alex's eyes flicker with unmistakable remorse and pain that was for her and not because of her, that much she could tell, Alex felt sorry for her but couldn't admit it because she still wasn't sure if Lena was Lena or an imposter. She decided that instead of trying to convince her she would continue her story.

"He didn't take long to die. But before he did, Lex told me something that nearly broke me. He knew it would," she said softly the tears coming to the forefront unbidden. "And he still did it. He showed me, with video footage, who Kara was. How all my friends had been lying to me. Deceiving me for years." Lena closed her eyes as she remembered that moment. The moment that her entire world had shattered. When she opened her eyes back up she saw that Alex had moved and was sitting on the edge of her bed, gun laying on the mattress, head bowed in what she detected was shame and guilt, her short red hair failing to hide her entire face from Lena's eyes as she spotted her glassy eyes.

Lena didn't know what to do. She honestly didn't blame or resent Alex for the deceit, in fact if Alex's dream was any testament then she had actively tried to convince Kara to tell her the truth only for Kara to not want to.

She was not good at giving comfort and even now she detected caution in the Directors emotions, while the revelation hurt and shocked her a little, she was still not sure of Lena and Lena didn't want to approach Alex until Alex was sure that Lena was Lena.

So she continued her story. "Naturally. I was not happy with the revelation. Devastated would be more apt." she tried to talk a little bit impersonally hoping that it would allow her to control her emotions. It didn't. Alex's guilty conscience wasn't helping either.

"And I was angry," Lena admitted, looking anywhere but at the redhead. "I was sure that everything that I had shared with Kara, with her friends, with you, had been a lie. All a ploy to tame and manipulate the one naive Luthor. And I wanted revenge." She felt Alex's shock at that admittance but soldiered on, if she stopped now then she would never be able to let it out. "So I lied. And I hid. And I plotted. I became what I thought you all thought of me as. A villain." Once again, after the shock had died down all she felt from Alex was compassion and guilt, not even when she admitted to contemplating heinous acts did Alex lose faith in her. And Lena hated herself a little for ever thinking that the older Danvers could ever be what she had thought she was.

"For three weeks after I killed Lex, I hid the fact that I knew and I plotted ways to get you back. To betray you. But I never managed to go through with any of it because I didn't want to hurt innocents. I didn't want a fight between me and Supergirl to be something that could bring down all the good that she and I had done over the years. I didn't want to be evil, Alex," she implored the older woman." I didn't want to become like Lex." Her voice broke at that last admittance and she looked down watching as wet droplets fell down onto her clasped hands.

It took a moment before Alex reached out and took one of Lena's hand. "I know," she whispered quietly. "I believe you." Her heart soared. "You could never be like him, Lena." Her words came to her with such surety that even Lena almost believed it. She also felt a sense of relief as Alex picked up the gun and holstered it, her actions saying that she had convinced the older woman of her identity. "But all that still doesn't explain why your eyes glowed like that."

Lena nodded knowing she had to finish the story.

"That night that I tried to save the Phorian, it touched me. Just as it was dying it touched me and I woke up… well Alex I woke up with powers." Lena finished with an exuberant smile. She had known that she had powers for days but because of her trust issues and limited roster of friends she had kept that knowledge to herself. Telling someone else about something that had made her so excited felt so liberating, almost exhilarating.

Alex on the other hand, didn't smile. In fact she got up. "Wait, what did you just say?"

Lena's smile dimmed a smidge but not a whole lot. "I have powers!" she said once more. "I can feel people's emotions and if I want, I can hear what they're thinking! The glowing eyes is a new thing but it must be a part of that," she was truly gushing even with the growing dread that she could feel coming from Alex, it didn't drown her excitement at finally being able to tell someone she cared about, of her abilities.

"Oh Alex you have no idea how it feels to truly know what people think about you or how they feel about you…" she trailed off thinking about how it felt when her driver opened the car door for her in the morning and she could actually feel that his Good Morning to her was a genuine greeting instead of an obligation. How when she visited the Children's Hospital, the sick children inspired her because she could feel their genuine appreciation for the life they had learned to cherish.

"Hey, Lena?" came Alex's scolding voice pulling her out of her reverie. "Are you saying this is why you've been passing out?" she asked with an urgency that baffled Lena. "All those fainting spells? The mini comas? It's because of these powers?"

Lena shrugged. "I guess," she replied not registering the frown now marring Alex's forehead. "I mean I only fainted once when the Phorian touched me, and then when Kara came to see me…"

"And what did the tests say?" she asked. "Please tell me you did tests after you discovered your powers."

Lena nodded excitedly, eager to discuss her experiences with a fellow academic. "I did," she agreed. "Once I got a handle on my powers so I wasn't reading random minds on a whim I tested out my range and skills…"

Alex shook her head almost in disbelief. "No Lena, not testing out your powers, tests on yourself, blood tests, CT Scans, Full body scans."

Lena frowned. "Why would I need to do those? I felt fine."

And in the next second she felt a light whack to the side of her head.

"Ow."

"Thank God you're not invincible, I can never do that to Kara when she does something stupid."

Lena rubbed her head, "What was that for?" she asked a little petulantly.

"Its for being stupid!" replied Alex with a huff. "I thought you were a scientist Lena, how could you forget to not find out what effects these Alien powers have on you?"

Lena would never pout but she did feel a little miffed at being called out for carelessness, problem is she was always used to putting herself last, the other thing was;

"I guess I was so excited to test out my powers that I forgot?" she half asked Alex hesitantly not wanting to be hit again but feeling a warmth build in her chest at

Alex's irritation. Alex was irritated because she was angry, she could feel her genuine anger. She was angry because she was concerned. Concerned about her, about Lena. She had never had someone be angry at her out of concern. Out of hatred at the mere sight of her, sure but not out of concern, worry and dare she say; love? And it filled up Lena's heart so much that she was almost afraid that Alex might start to feel some of the emotions she was sure to be giving off.

She was so distracted by her revelations about Alex and her feelings that she almost missed what Alex was doing but the older woman pacing in front of her with her phone to her ear, gesticulating wildly was a little hard to miss.

"... Of all the irresponsible things…" she was muttering. "... I can't even believe. As if worrying about Kara wasn't enough, now I have to…" she mumbled almost clutching at her short hair in frustration, but all Lena could do was smile because she couldn't mistake the exasperated fondness Alex was giving off. "... Yes, prep a room for me and get everything ready, I've got a subject coming in at 1500 hours and I need all the tests at hand stat. Got it? No I'll be doing the examination myself. Make it a private room and turn off the feed to the room... Did I misspeak Sargeant? I didn't think so. Prep the room and next time keep your thoughts to yourself unless you are looking to be demoted. Am I making myself clear?"

Lena winced at the dressing down the Agent at the other end of the line was receiving but she was still basking in the affection that Alex held for her to feel too bad for the unfortunate Sargeant as she watched Alex hang up and move towards the door.

"I'm gonna go talk to the doctor about discharging you," she said pausing at the door. "And then I'm taking you to the DEO to see exactly what your new powers are doing to you." She turned to leave but Lena called her back.

"Kara," she said softly, remembering the pain and anguish she felt from the hero and despite her mixed feelings on the Kryptonian she couldn't help but think it weird that it was Alex yet again, who had been waiting at her bedside. "Where is she?"

Alex sighed regret and reluctance radiating from her. "Kara was a little disturbed by the incident. She was rampaging around here, demanding the doctors help you. She almost revealed her powers to an asshole patient when he said something disparaging about you. Almost heat visioned his face off. So I told her to go cool off. I had to pull out the big guns and call mom and she asked Kara to come and stay with her in Midvale for a few days. She only agreed when I agreed to give her hourly updates on your condition." She looked down at her watch when she said this and Lena felt a sense of exasperated dread slightly tinge her emotions. "Speaking of which, I'm gonna go do that as well, she's threatened to plaster my room with NSYNC posters if I was late in texting her again." She shuddered comically at the thought which made Lena scowl playfully at her.

She sobered up though as she thought about Kara, her pain and Alex and her willingness to stay with her. It seemed more and more likely that she might have been wrong about both of the Danvers sisters' intentions. As Alex left to talk to her doctor Lena wondered if Alex knew that Kara was somehow in constant pain all the time. Pain that she had not felt with anyone in the short amount of time she had had these powers.

Spreading her mental net wide once again Lena focused on the building she was in. If there was ever a place that could give her the idea of what pain felt like, it was a hospital. But even encompassing the entire building, she didn't feel the anguish she had felt when Kara had walked into her office.

Was she still mad about the secrets and lies? Sure. Was she still a little heartbroken over how she had been treated by the so called Superfriends? Yes, but she wouldn't wish that sort of anguish and agony onto her worst enemy. Even Lex.

Without knowing it, Alex had given her a great opportunity. Because while Alex found out about what her powers were doing to her, Lena would take the opportunity to find out more about her once best friend. And what better source than the woman that loved her most.

Spoilers for 6x04

Anyone else completely gobsmacked at the Lena and Alex interactions in the recent ep? I mean holy fuck! Its like they got one of us to write it. I absolutely loved seeing them on screen. Two of the best actors on the show at their best. Amazing.

As you can probably tell from the last few chapters, I ship Lena and Alex hard platonically, looks like the show writers do too.

Anyways tell me how this one was. Cheers!