DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. PLEASE REVIEW! I will take advice and suggestions from my readers while continuing the story.

Thinking

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis

Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Sandaime Hokage, looked upon the hastily gathered ANBU and Jonin in front of him: all of them serious and awaiting orders. His pained expression was reflected even more bitterly in some of these shinobi, such as his Jonin Commander along with his two teammates; the former Hunter Nin he could get on such short notice, like Inuzuka Tsume and Aburame Shino; along with Elites veterans like Hatake Kakashi and his best friend - whether the silver-haired Jonin would admit it or not - Maito Gai.

Did he believe the already rampant rumors for even a second that their jinchuuriki, Uzumaki Naruto, had caused so many clan heirs and other children to suddenly disappear from sight? Absolutely not! For one, he knew that Naruto had a good heart despite how the villagers treated the child. Naruto was as much of a grandchild to him as his own little Konohamaru was.

His grandson was also missing, along with two others that the toddler was close to in the shinobi daycare. He had a rotten worry, however, considering the history of the man he'd perhaps mistakenly put in charge of the daycare's classroom. Had Ebisu perhaps thrown his responsibility for the youngest children's absence onto the innocent blonde child that the Tokubetsu Jonin obviously despised so much? Hiruzen prayed that Konohamaru and the other two toddlers he seemed to have a budding friendship with were simply hiding from him and their "sensei."

But this wasn't only about his grandson! Hiruzen steeled himself and spoke firmly to those kneeled before him. "As most of you know, today certain children, including clan heirs, have disappeared in what has been described as a "flash of light." We must find these children, the Kings of Konoha, at all costs, my fellow shinobi! We…"

Another light - one that was a bright and blinding white trickling into blue before quickly turning a raging golden-red - appeared from the grand window below him, startling everyone. "Red alert!" Most of those present dropped or sunshinned into the Hokage's office, ready to strike the invading enemies, but stopped short at what they saw. The unmistakable pattern of a complex seal was already disappearing in front of them, and a hideous rug of some sort was left behind.

"Oi, Rival: isn't that the thing that's on the floor of your living room?" Gai asked seriously. "Is it alive?"

"Quiet, Gai-kun." This was weird - not to mention that Kakashi's black rug was awesome! And who the hell was Gai of all people to deny his great taste?! He finally had an apartment living room big enough to finally roll the entire rug out, which was the only reason he moved to the new place!

"Move back!" The order from many shinobi was yelled just as a spotted white mat, followed by people - yes PEOPLE - dropped into view. First, was a young shinobi slouching with a cigarette dangling from his mouth, seemingly still sleeping in the corner, accompanied by two other… women? Well, women with beards: one was pink-haired and obviously pregnant, while the other had the pale blonde hair of a Yamanaka. The latter was flopped unceremoniously next to, and nearly on top of, the bearded pregnant woman, followed by more invaders: all flopping on top of each other, although some landed behind the couch in the Tower's main office. The room grew silent as everyone, including the Hokage, looked upon the additional large pile of people in front of his desk that had landed on the white-spotted mat.

What happened?

Gaara woke on the floor, next to the toilet he'd apparently hit his head on. Scoffing and embarrassed, he wondered how this had happened and how in the world his sand hadn't at least cushioned, if not stopped his fall altogether. I can just imagine the headlines: Allied Forces Commander Defeated by Latrine. Gaara checked his trousers to ensure that they were properly pulled up and staggered into the attached room hidden behind the Hokage's desk.

His vision was still off and everything he could see was surrounded by white. Even though his head was spinning, he knew enough to look away from the chakra that he easily recognized as his idiotic brother's that was in the Rokudaime's spare bed! It seemed that Kankurro had apparently landed a willing female. Gods forbid that's one of my Suna kunoichi underneath him, he thought seriously. Gaara tumbled to the floor again, whispering a polite apology to his brother and his… conquest? Yes, conquest is an appropriate word. His hands, nearly followed by his face, hit the blue carpet blanketing the room. What in the world has happened to me..?"

A veritable and beautiful sea of sand in the sunlight was suddenly all he could see. Gaara smiled at the outskirts of his homeland, feeling completely and immediately at ease. Wait. Is this my mindscape? It had been so long since it looked a little like this, and once upon a time, the sands he loved so much had been filled with blood here in his mind. He nearly chuckled at the idea that what he was seeing was somehow real, before turning around to see a giant being: a giant BIJUU he knew all too well. No! It can't be! He attempted to break a genjutsu and couldn't - and damned if he wasn't staring at a completely baffled-looking Tanuki.

"Shukaku?" Gaara whispered, praying he was wrong.

"Uhhhh…"

Yes, that's definitely Shukaku: no doubt about it.

There was only one person he could think of that could possibly seal a Bijuu into a person, although he knew - even in his bewildered mind - that she'd never, ever do such a thing.

Gaara leaned onto the doorknob and opened the door to re-enter the Rokudaime's main office and froze. His sand protected him from the incoming attacks and threats now coming his way, but he had enough visibility to look around a bit, warily.

"Namikaze?" asked the concussed and barely conscious Kazekage.

The Sandaime raised his hand to stop further attacks, not that any of them were landing. He saw the large gourd on the invader's back and judging from his sand defense alone, the redhead was an ally, technically. "You're about eight years too late to seek my successor, Suna nin." Sarutobi was no joke: he was known as the Kami no Shinobi for an excellent reason after all! He was waiting to strike if he had to but hoped to avoid a war with the Leaf's closest ally.

"You are the Sandaime Hokage," Gaara muttered. It was more of a statement than a question, but he still waited for a nod from the man. "Hmm. You look different than when Orochimaru reanimated your corpse. More lifelike, I suppose." As he had so many times, Gaara didn't consider the reaction that followed his words. "I am searching for Namikaze Naruto." His sand reacted to four additional attacks. "Uzumaki… Namikaze Naruto. Whatever," the exhausted man said.

"I don't know what you're talking about - or who you are, Suna nin," exclaimed Sarutobi darkly.

Gaara gave him a sour and disbelieving look, then took a deep, cleansing breath. He was starting to feel a little better. "Forgive my poor manners, Sandaime-sama. My name is Sabaku no Gaara. I am the Godaime Kazekage." He ignored the disbelieving reactions of those surrounding him. He didn't give a shit right now. "If you'll forgive me, I seek a tenacious vixen who is… in a lot of trouble. NARA! I know you're awake!"

"Troublesome," came a voice from the corner. The pony-tailed brunette was one of the first to arrive after what looked like a seal activated - and he was nearly identical to Nara Shikaku. The main difference was that this young man lacked the Nara Clan Head's facial scars.

Gaara looked at the pile of bodies in front of the shocked Sandaime Hokage's desk and began flipping them over with his sand. "Hurry up, Nara. We need to find out what she's done."

"Troublesome blonde," muttered the man in the corner, who tried to stand but slumped down to the floor instead.

"Shika… maru: get yur stup… stupidly… smart ass up," drawled the pink-haired and bearded pregnant woman incoherently as she gently moved the bearded blonde woman to the floor before passing out again.

Hiruzen watched in something akin to horror. At the top of the human pile that so obviously reeked of liquor was a dark-haired naked man that was only wearing a ridiculously long blue scarf - so much like… Oh no: it can't be! No, it wasn't the exact same blue scarf his grandson currently wore up over his nose but still tripped on - but still! It's the same color, long length, and...

The next person on the pile was turned over: she only had on undergarments and had rather distinctive orange hair in two messy pigtails. She was immediately covered by a blanket by one of his shinobi, although he was too fascinated by the rest of what was playing out to digest which of his shinobi had aided the young woman.

The woman that followed had distinctively bright Uzumaki red hair, and upon the sand moving her away from the others, her glasses fell by the wayside. The glasses were the only thing that she was wearing aside from a belt - no, it was a "Shinobi" hitai-ate around her waist! Hiruzen noted what appeared to be bite marks on the woman's pale skin before she, too, was immediately covered in a sheet before a naked male with bluish-white hair was moved away, too. As the man's mouth fell open in his unconscious state, sharpened teeth could easily be seen.

Next divested from the pile was obviously a half-dressed Inuzuka male, followed by a nondescript and thankfully fully-clothed young woman - and are those cats? Yes, several ninja cats, some of them not seen since before the Uchiha clan had fallen, had definitely appeared from behind the closest couch to Hiruzen's desk, only to lay next to that woman. Good Lord! Hiruzen simultaneously heard a dog's whine, and an enormous white hound slouched from the same position, only to drop on the Inuzuka man, immediately either falling asleep or into unconsciousness.

He felt incredibly wary at seeing that a few of these "invaders" had visible ANBU tattoos.

The Sand nin's - "Gaara:" is that what he said his name was? - the supposed Kazekage's sand turned over a pale ebony-haired man who Hiruzen could only presume was an Uchiha due to his coloring next. The man was wearing only a midriff-baring top with no accompanying pants, however: completely unlike an Uchiha! The Suna nin made a sound that once again reflected disgust, and Hiruzen noted that his sand only touched the unconscious man's clothed upper half. On the bottom of the pile, underneath what looked so much like an Akimichi, was a young woman, and… No!

Hiruzen was sure that he was not the only one who recognized that distinctive hair coloring: so blonde it almost blinded the eyes: like looking at the sun. The woman's hair was fairly short but no less feminine. She - no, please, don't be her, Hiruzen pleaded to no avail - had on clipped blue jean shorts barely hugging her bottom, and was wearing a light blue sleeveless half-sweater. He saw an ANBU tattoo on one arm, while the other was tightly wrapped in bandages all the way down to her fingertips. As the supposed - and oh-did-he-ever-look-like a real Nara, crawled over to gently turn the blonde over, Hiruzen's breath caught in his chest. Light whisker-like markings adorned the woman's pretty tanned cheeks, and he had no doubt that upon awakening, her eyes would reflect the cerulean blue of his predecessor.

"Hokage-sama: this is impossible," the silver-haired ANBU captain whispered as he stared at the young woman's assets. Some of his other shinobi had stirred from their initial shock and were now securing the unconscious and unknown - sort of - shinobi that had overtaken his office.

"Assembled Jonin, take these prisoners to the T&I gym." Nearly everyone began moving, with the exception of the Jonin Commander and the young ANBU captain. "Inu: place seals on every prisoner - yes! No matter who we believe them to be." The latter part of his groaned order was more directed at Shikaku, who was pale and looked as close to losing his composure as Hiruzen had ever seen him. Hatake's not doing much better. "I'll reach out to Jiraiya-kun, but do your best at sealing the facility itself as well, Inu-san." The Sandaime summoned three messenger monkeys and explained the unprecedented situation, asking them to find his traveling hermit of a student, and bring him back to the village at once.

Hiruzen winced at the chakra wavering in the still-present young ANBU captain. "Kakashi-kun: I cannot say whether or not some of our invaders are who they may appear to be or not, but I suppose it's time to finally inform you." Hiruzen's shoulders slumped. "What can I say? I was trying to protect her: your sensei's legacy has always been female. I only asked her to hide her gender from those who would treat her… especially unkindly."

It was just so shocking! Hatake Kakashi didn't remember exactly what happened after that - everything was just a blur before he later came to his senses, realizing that he was already in the T&I compound.

The first person Yamanaka Inoichi literally tossed into "The Box" was the one with the hair and beard that was exactly the color of his. I'll prove this isn't a Yamanaka, and then I can go back to searching for Ino-chan!

He dove into her unconscious mind to find it remarkably well organized and guarded. He was the best in his clan, though, and he fairly quickly accessed a recent and important memory to the imposter. She or he has to be an imposter!

"Are you sure, Sakura?" Inoichi's subject asked a pink-haired woman who seemed to be sitting up in a hospital bed.

"I'm not Pig!" The woman roared. "That's why I asked shishou to examine me! Gah!"

"Kami! Your mood swings are terrible, Sakura-chan! You'd better be pregnant or you might ruin all your relationships… if you don't kill us all" The last part was muttered by a woman with long bright blonde hair and light whisker marks on her cheeks. She was in a hospital gown, unlike the others. Inoichi stopped to further observe his subject's memory.

The pink-haired woman, "Sakura" - Inoichi winced at the idea that this was really his little girl's best friend - was irritated and looked like she wanted to punch something. She also had a slight dusting of pink fuzz on her face. More disturbing was the girl that looked so much like Yondaime-sama and Kushina-chan that it made his eyes stung. When she raised her arms, though? It was an awful sight. The jagged stump where the young woman's arm should be made his gut tighten.

The three young women bickered and laughed at each other before the door to the room swung open so hard the walls cracked. Inoichi's eyes nearly fell out of his at observing who came in.

"Quiet! And what are you doing out of your room, gaki?" barked Tsunade-hime, the Slug Sannin, herself.

"Whaa, being in there's so boring Baa-chan! All I can do for fun is watch Gai-sensei challenge Kaka-sensei to wheelchair races. It's so not fair," she pouted. "I can't even operate a wheelchair properly with this…" The younger blonde wiggled her stump around in a circle disturbingly. "I've learned a couple of jutsus and can do some stuff with one-hand signs, but all my damn clones only have one arm, too!"

"You are ridiculous! And what did I tell you about moulding chakra, brat?!" Tsunade tsked before turning her attention to Inoichi's subject and the pinkette who was holding her hand. "Do you want her here for the news? I know she's 'armless…"

"BOO!" the woman gave the smirking Tsunade-hime a big thumbs down with her only available arm. Yikes.

"Please," his subject said while "Sakura" nodded her head in agreement. "If it weren't for Naruto we wouldn't even be able to hope to…" Inoichi's subject was obviously tearing up.

"I do believe that I contributed to the seals as well, ne?" Tsunade asked while the two women nodded as if afraid of the woman. Understandable. "The side-effects, though… Are you sure this isn't a way to prank them, Naruto?"

"No way! I wouldn't do that! Plus it totally sucked when I got the memories my clones had while experimenting on the seal." Inoichi saw the female(!) "Naruto" visibly shudder before frowning and sitting up more seriously. "Having guy junk down there was bad enough! I swear, the balls itched more than the damn beard!"

His subject and the pink one nodded in agreement furiously. His subject looked down and scratched - oh gods - what Inoichi could only guess were her balls. The women broke out in laughter before Tsunade-hime smiled at them earnestly.

"Well girls: it worked," she stated fondly. Inoichi felt his subject shaking with emotion, her vision blurring. "You're going to be parents, Ino-chan, Sakura-chan. Congratulations!" There was crying and shouting, but all Inoichi could see was the pink hair that his daughter - yes, he was beginning to believe it - had buried her hair in as she repeatedly declared her love for her partner. Suddenly blue, pupil-less eyes matching his own, bore into his mind.

"Who the FUCK do you think you are? I have you now!" Inoichi couldn't move or even end his jutsu. He heard the woman's voice break. "Da - Daddy? No: it's, it's impossible! But - oh please be real?" His little girl began sobbing. He was finally able to end the jutsu and looked the young woman in the eyes.

"I don't know why it's so impossible, but yes, Ino-chan. It's me." He opened The Box. "It's all right, little flower: Daddy's here now."