10 years ago
The room is white with pink and yellow. Amanda insisted on pink, Olivia insisted on yellow. Cragen built the crib, then Nick went over it. He only had to fix 1 screw, Cragen was proud. When they all stopped and looked at the room Olivia thought she would cry. Ellie wouldn't have him but she does have a family. Amanda basically forced her way into being a permanent person in Olivia's life. She'll even be holding her hand in the delivery room. Cragen is ready to be a "papa", he can't wait to meet her. Nick is doing all the "dad" stuff. Painting the room, building the changing table, fixing the crib, even getting Olivia's late night cravings. He's become her best friend. He always answers the phone, he brings his daughter to the house once a week. She is ready for her baby cousin Ellie to get here. Olivia smiles at the thought, in just a few days, Ellie will be here.
"I think we did good for the precinct's baby" Fin chuckles in the hallway. Olivia laughs at him holding a tiny bunny and a bright pink gift bag. " You said you didn't want a baby shower, but i needed to get Ellie a little somethin' from uncle Fin" He smiled, taking the bunny and putting it in the crib. She sat down in the rocking chair across the nursery and opened the gift. She laughed and pulled out a tiny baby sized Police uniform. She smiled at her friends as her water broke.
Now
"When is daddy coming to get me?" Nicole asked. Her hair is blonde unlike Olivia's, she is sweet unlike her father. Says please and thank you, never hits her siblings or fights with them even when they deserve it. Nothing angry or evil, she wants to be a teacher when she gets older, she has no interest in anything violent. She even has a birds nest on the outside of her window and her favorite thing to do is watch the birds. She gets scared at loud noises and thinks that blood is gross. She is nothing like Lewis, nothing like him.
"Well honey I think he'll be here at 1 to get you and Noah. And then you'll be with him all week. I'm gonna miss you." Olivia said, giving Ellie a kiss on her head.
"Why does Noah get to go with Rafa?" Ellie scoffed.
"Because Noah needs a father figure in his life. Rafa and I created your sister when Noah wasn't even a year old yet. You were 3 and you have papa, Uncle Nick, and Uncle Fin. They helped me raise you." Olivia responded getting breakfast ready for the 3 small humans she created.
"I haven't seen papa in 8 months and Uncle Nick isn't exactly around anymore. What about Elliot?" Ellie said, finishing her cereal. Olivia about dropped everything in her hands.
"Elliot doesn't have a good track record." Olivia responded without looking at her daughter. When the front door swung open she sighed in relief. "I have to go kids, I love you. Noah, Nicole, I will see you in a week have fun with daddy. Ellie, we'll have a movie night tonight okay?" A nod from her daughter gives her enough reassurance to run out of the house and into the city.
When she shows up to the restaurant she doesn't see him. But, to be fair she's 10 minutes early, something she keeps telling herself she needs to work on. She pulls her phone out and dials Rafa's number.
"Hey, I forgot to pack Nicole's inhaler, do you have an extra one?" She asks.
"Well let me see, I have been her father for well 6 years would you look at that. And she's had asthma since she was 2 so I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say yes, yes her father has a backup inhaler." He responded in his sarcastic way.
"A simple yes would have sufficed counselor." She quipped back.
"Oh I love it when you talk dirty to me. Keep it going" He laughed back.
"I hate you. And take good care of the kids."
"It's almost like I'm their father. Livie, they'll be fine. I'll make sure they bring you back something from the beach. I need my GPS so I'll call you when I get them back to my house."
"Thank you. Bye." She responded and hung up. She doesn't know what she did to deserve him in their lives but she's thankful for him. She's thankful for everything he ever did for her.
7 years ago
Everything hurt. And she really means everything. Staring at the doctor while he's telling everyone what happened to her as if she's dead, or deaf. She feels exposed even though she is clothed and has 2 blankets on top of her. Rafa hasn't left her side since she arrived at the hospital just a short 4 hours ago. Holding her hand and making sure no one asks too many questions.
"Detective?" The nurse asks. "Do we need to do a rape kit?" She squeaks. She feels her face get wet, she's crying.
"Yes." She whimpers out. Then, and only then did Rafa leave. Nick didn't. He sat next to her and held her close when they were done.
"I'm taking Ellie and Noah for the night. Rafa is gonna stay with you." Nick told her. She sits up and stands next to Rafa as he leads her to his house.
"You, Ellie, and Noah are going to stay with me until you find a new place. I already have a majority of your stuff packed. I'm the only one who will be going to the apartment okay?" Rafa asks but she knows it's not a question. Olivia nods and sits on the couch and before she could stop it she collapsed on herself. She felt him pull her towards him and cried on his chest sobbed more like it. And she could feel him cry too.
Now
She is a grown adult woman, why does she have butterflies? She has 3 kids and yet she is sitting here waiting for a man. No, not just any man, the man who made her a mother. The man who she would stay up coming through evidence and talking about the moon with. This was Elliot, Ellie's dad. Hell, her Elliot. And then there he is, in his blue suit and rolled up sleeves. He smiles at her, and starts walking quickly over to her table.
"Hey." He breathes out and smiles.
"Hi" She smiles.
"I see you're still early to everything" He chuckles as he sits down.
"Always, even more now with the kids." She playfully lets out. As if he didn't abandon her.
"Yeah. Fin was telling me you have 3. 2 girls and a boy" He says with a hint of something in his voice. The waitress comes over and gets their order. Olivia orders a grilled cheese and soup while Elliot gets a burger and fries.
"Still terrible eating habits I see" Olivia plays.
"You eat like someone who has little kids" Elliot toys back.
"10, 8, and 6." She laughs. Then realizes she has said too much. "Their dad's name is Rafeal Barba. He was the ADA on a case. We hit it off, he lives in DC now though so he just got the 2 youngest for the week." She finished.
"Why not the older one?" Elliot asked after a few moments of silence.
"Elliot, I don't really feel comfortable talking about my kids. I have tried so hard to be a good mom, so that meant not telling them about their uncle Elliot who left before they met him." She teared up at her statement. The air around them fell cold and heavy. She didn't mean to hurt him but she needed him to stop asking questions. When their food got to the table he broke the silence.
"I'm here now. I'm staying. Even after I find Kathy's killer. I'm here." He said tears in his eyes. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, she met his gaze as a tear fell. She wanted to ignore the call but she can't let herself be vulnerable around him. At least, not yet.
"Benson." She answered. " Yeah, I'm on my way back" She hung up and looked up as he looked down. "I have to go." She dug around her purse looking for money for her portion of the lunch.
"Just go. You get lunch next time. I'll prove to you I'm around for good." He spoke softly, his voice full of pain and sadness. She was about to walk away when she looked at him and forced a smile.
"Friday, I'm getting off early for an appointment. Meet me at Vanessas for a late lunch, around 1?" She asked with just a slight bit of hopefulness.
"I'll be there." He smiled.
"Okay" She smiled back and walked out of the restaurant.