A/N: Fran beta's & Pearly pre-reads.

A special additional thank you to Pearly for calming my anxieties on a daily basis ❤️ Love you.

Any mistakes are from my meddling ;)

3

Denial

o-O-o

"So, this is your new strategy. Avoiding me?" Edward whispered in her ear as they stood in line at the cafeteria.

Bella was already regretting not bringing dinner to work with her. Free pizza was not worth this.

"Come on, Bella, it's been two weeks. Are you really not going to talk to me at all?" he continued, the hurt in his voice making her chest ache.

She didn't care; she shouldn't care.

"Leave me alone," she said in a clipped tone, stepping forward as the person in front of her moved up.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Edward murmured. "I'm sorry I…pushed it. I won't do that again; I just…fuck. I want you, and you were looking at me like…and I lost control. But I'll be good, I swear."

Bella swallowed, far too aware of his body behind her as she kept her eyes trained forwards.

"Just move on, Edward. I have."

She felt him freeze behind her for a second. "I know," he said in a quiet voice. "I…I really do just want to be friends, Bella. I want you in my life again, please."

Bella breathed a sigh of relief as she got to the front of the queue.

She took a plate and started to help herself to the Hawaiian, taking three slices and then picking up a bowl of salad.

"Can I have a Coke, please, Lynn?" she asked the woman behind the counter, smiling.

Bella glanced to her left and saw Edward putting some pizza on his plate too. He looked up at her, and she felt herself shiver at the intensity in his stare.

Hurriedly she grabbed her tray and walked over to the table where Annabelle and a few other nurses were sitting.

She was just about to take a bite of food when Annabelle looked up at her with wide eyes, her fork pausing in mid-air.

"Bella," she heard behind her.

She wanted to drop her head into the plate.

She spun around and glared at Edward.

"What?" she snapped.

His cheeks tinged pink, and she glanced back to realize the whole table was staring at them.

She found his reaction curious. It wasn't like him to be embarrassed about anything.

Maybe she didn't know Edward anymore either.

Bella didn't like the way that realization settled in her gut, vines twisting around her ribcage and constricting her breathing. He wasn't her Edward anymore. But he'd never been hers.

"What?" she repeated calmly.

Edward swallowed. "You forgot your Coke."

Embarrassment flooded her, and she wanted to crawl into the floor and let it swallow her up.

"Oh," she croaked out.

Edward gave her a small, polite smile and placed it on the table for her.

"T-thanks," Bella said, chewing on her lip as she looked up at him.

"No problem," he said, hesitating for a second before he turned and walked away.

Bella turned back to face the others and cringed.

"That was nice of him; why were you so rude?" Samantha asked her, raising her eyebrow.

Bella cleared her throat. "Just um…those damn med students, you know? Think they're…better…and stuff." She coughed, and Annabelle choked on her drink, trying not to laugh.

"Word," said Tom, biting into his sandwich. "Though that one is particularly delicious. Think Tanya is on the hunt for him."

Bella's heart sunk. Tanya was by far the most beautiful woman in the hospital. She had shoulder-length platinum hair, was like six feet tall, huge boobs with a tiny little body, even her eyes were all big and doe-eyed and brown. She could have been a model, easily.

"Not just Tanya," one of the younger nurses giggled. "I wouldn't mind letting him give me a physical."

Bella pretended to laugh with everyone else, but inside, she imaged punching Tanya in her stupid, gorgeous face.

o-O-o

"How long until you're ready, babe?" Alec asked her, peeking his head into their bedroom.

"Give me another fifteen mins, and I'm done," Bella replied, shooting him a smile.

"Okay, I'll order the Uber," he said, grinning back at her.

He left the room, and Bella finished applying her makeup, adding some red lipstick to complete her face.

Her brown hair was curled, and she let it out of the clip she'd placed it in. It tumbled down her back, and she removed her robe to reveal her slinky black top and low-rise jeans.

It was Alec's birthday, and they were going out for some drinks and then dinner at one of his favorite restaurants.

Bella had been trying extra hard to be a good girlfriend lately. She was going out of her way with Alec because of how guilty she felt for wanting Edward.

He'd actually kept his distance from her the past week, and there was only one week left before he moved rotations and was onto pediatrics. Then she would only see him in passing. She wouldn't have to look into those hypnotizing green eyes or feel the heat of his body when she passed him. She wouldn't have to keep changing her panties because they got so damp in his presence that she felt physically uncomfortable. Most of all, she wouldn't have to fight that horrible, forbidden desire to drag him into an on-call room with her and tear his clothes from his perfect body, sinking herself onto him and riding him until they both fell over the edge.

She shook her head at her thoughts and stood. She needed to get Edward out of her head.

"You look, beautiful babe," Alec said, his blue eyes sparkling at her as she walked out from the bedroom.

She smiled wickedly at him. "Just wait till you see what's underneath; that's your extra birthday present."

Alec grinned, linking their fingers together as they left the apartment.

The food at the Gogi K was always delicious. Even though it was a small restaurant, hidden on a side street by Little Italy, it was always teeming with customers, and bookings had to be made weeks in advance.

The restaurant's smell was mouth-watering, the air filled with barbequed meat, spices, and delightful Korean flavors.

As Bella stared across from Alec, she couldn't help but smile at his handsome face.

"Dirty thirty, how does it feel, old man?" she teased, giggling as he looked up at her with a horrified look.

"I'll show you just how old I am when we get home," he said, winking at her.

The second they got through the front door, he was pressing her against it, his mouth slanting over hers, as his warm hands trailed teasingly down her sides.

"Fuck, you look so good," he murmured in her ear, placing hot kisses down her neck.

Bella closed her eyes at the pleasant sensation, tilting her head back.

She felt so safe with Alec, and the feel of his large hands on her body was comforting and pleasurable.

Their lips met, and Alec groaned, gripping her ass, his cock hard against her stomach.

Bella pulled back from his mouth and tugged him to their bedroom, pushing his chest gently, so he was sitting on the bed.

He bit his lip as she turned, watching him over her shoulder as she lifted her top over her head.

"Mm, so hot, babe," Alec said throatily.

She smiled, looking at him from under her eyelashes as she started shimmying her jeans down her body, revealing the brand new, lacy black thong she'd bought just for this occasion.

Alec groaned as she bent over provocatively, tugging the jeans over her ankles and then turning around to face him.

She paused in front of him, loving the way he looked up at her, his blue eyes stormy, cheeks flushed.

He was so gorgeous.

His hands grabbed her ass, and she giggled, moaning and tilting her head back as he started to kiss across the swell of her breast.

His stubble tickled her, and she shivered as he squeezed the flesh of her behind.

Bella placed a hand on his chest and pushed him backward, biting her lip as she undid his jeans, the sound of his zip loud in the room.

He watched her with heavy eyes, his cock twitching against her hand as she licked across his chest.

"Fuck…" Alec groaned as she took him, hot and heavy, into her palm, her tongue tracing down his hard stomach.

"Do you want me to suck your cock?" she teased, nipping at his hips. "Tell me what you want."

His body arched underneath her.

"Fuck yes," he panted. "Please, babe."

She gave him a naughty smile and then took him into her mouth, humming around him as her hands slid up his body.

He groaned, tilting his head back and closing his eyes, his hands twisting in the sheets.

Edward used to tangle his hand in her hair, talk to her in that low, throaty voice as he guided her over his body, his green eyes burning into hers as he stroked her cheeks or gently clasped her throat.

Bella felt a rush of heat between her legs, and her stomach twisted with guilt.

What the hell was she doing? This was Alec; who was so good to her, who deserved to be the center of her attention, especially when they were being intimate.

She reinforced her efforts, pulling out all her tricks; all the things she knew drove him crazy.

"God, babe, I'm gonna cum," Alec groaned. "Don't…stop…fuck."

Bella swallowed him down, her hands still running over his body as she kissed her way up to his chest.

Their lips met in a heated kiss, and Alec rolled on top of her; the feel of his warm, hard body against hers felt so good.

"Alec," she murmured against his lips.

This was all about Alec; she didn't want anyone but him.

He started kissing down her neck, and Bella moaned as he pulled the cup of her lacy bra down, his hot breath against her nipple making it pucker and raise towards his mouth.

He licked across it with the flat of his warm, slightly rough tongue, and Bella shuddered.

"Feels so good," she panted.

He made his way lower, and her stomach tightened in anticipation.

"Mmm." Alec hummed, licking across her hip.

She looked into his stormy blue eyes as he placed a kiss over her crotch, and bit her lip, pressing her hips up towards his mouth.

Alec's lips curved up, and he hooked his fingers into her panties, sliding them down her legs and tossing them aside.

Bella moaned as Alec's large palms gripped her thighs, opening her up as his mouth descended on her.

She arched back into the pillow, closing her eyes.

His mouth felt so good on her there, warm and wet.

Alec didn't really enjoy giving oral, though Bella couldn't imagine why. She loved coaxing his pleasure with her tongue and her hands, watching him as he lost control.

He still gave it to her, and always if she asked for it, but she could tell, even when he was licking her, that he was already thinking about being inside her, wanting her to fall over the edge quickly so he could stop.

Edward had loved to eat her. He always went down on her hungrily, his mouth and tongue working her over relentlessly, teasing and drawing out her orgasm slowly, edging her until she screamed. Even then, he would continue to lap at her trembling sex, his large hands gripping her ass or her breasts.

Sometimes he used to pick her up and place her on his face, gripping his big cock in his hand as she rocked against his tongue. The sight of him as he lay writhing underneath her, muscles tight, large palm moving up and down over his thick length, always sent her careening over the edge, her body folding over his to take him into her mouth.

Bella knew she needed to stop thinking about Edward; it was horrible of her. Alec was pleasuring her; he was making an effort to make her come.

And his tongue felt nice, it did, but it just wasn't enough to take her to orgasm; she needed more…

She licked her lips, arching her body as more forbidden thoughts of Edward crashed through her mind.

What if Annabelle hadn't interrupted them? Would he have kissed her, touched her?

She imagined his strong arms wrapping around her body, the ecstasy of feeling his hands on her.

"I know you want me, baby…"

God even hearing him call her that…

"I need you," she'd reply, her hand reaching down to palm his hard cock.

"Fuck Bella," he'd groan, those green eyes burning into hers, his hand wrapping around her throat, pulling her into his body as his mouth descended on hers hungrily.

Her hips rocked as she felt her core throb.

"God, inside, fingers…please," Bella begged Alec, gripping her aching breasts in her hands.

He adjusted his position, and then his fingers were pushing inside her. Bella threw her head back, imagining Edward's hooded green eyes staring into hers as he licked her, his long fingers fucking her.

"Oh God, I'm right there," Bella cried, her thighs clenching around Alec's head.

Bella's fingers tugged at her aching peaks. It wasn't Alec's fingers but Edward's thick cock, slamming into her as he groaned low and husky in her ear.

A wave of pleasure suddenly came crashing through Bella, and her vision went white for a moment, her body violently spasming as she fought hard not to say the name that her mind begged to be screamed.

Alec continued licking her until she had stopped squirming and then kissed her thighs, making his way up her body.

Bella kept her eyes closed as guilt flooded her.

"Mm, you enjoyed that a lot, babe," Alec hummed, kissing up her jaw. "Never heard you cry out so loud."

Bella wrapped her arms around his body as he slid inside, holding him close, murmuring his name in his ear. She was desperately trying to ignore the way her thoughts screamed to be moaning a different name—feeling a different body on top of her, inside her.

o-O-o

Bella couldn't look at Edward when she got to work the next day. It was one thing to remember his hands on her when Alec was inside of her, but to fantasize it was Edward instead…almost saying his name…that was…awful.

She felt so unbelievably guilty, a knot twisting in her stomach that wouldn't budge.

Her body was so aware of him standing a few feet behind her. Bella had been standing with Annabelle at the nurses' station when he'd walked in a few moments ago, and she didn't even need to look back to know he was in the room, her skin tingling and want throbbing deep in the pit of her stomach when she'd heard his low voice.

Bella hated herself for wanting him, the guilt making her palms sweat. She kept her hands busy by flicking through a patient file on the iPad.

She wouldn't look his way; she wouldn't make eye contact. She wouldn't even let herself glimpse at his body.

"How was Alec's birthday?" Annabelle asked her, nudging her with her elbow.

"What?" Bella turned to her with a frown. "Oh yeah, it was good. We went to that Korean Barbeque place."

"What did you get him?"

"A new laptop," Bella said, grateful for the distraction. "He needed a new one anyway, and thirty is a big one, so I wanted to get him something a bit more special. Are you still coming to his party on Friday?"

Bella had arranged a huge party for Alec with all his friends in a hotel nearby; he was really excited about it.

"Of course. I even found a date."

"You did?" Bella questioned, grinning at her friend. "Tell me more. What's he like?"

"Actually, you know him." Annabelle blushed. "It's Lucas."

Bella's jaw dropped. "Lucas as in…"

"Tess's Lucas…yep." Annabelle bit her lip. "I asked her first…obviously. But Lucas and I ran into each other the other night and just got to talking…and realized how much we…want each other."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Please. You've always been hot for each other. I don't know how you and Tess stayed friends, to be honest. It was obvious to everyone you two had something there."

"Well, we never acted on anything while they were together…but Tess is all the way in Montreal now, and it's not like they'd ever get back together."

"I totally support you," Bella said, smiling at Annabelle. "As long as Tess said it was okay."

In the back of her mind, Bella was kind of surprised Tess was okay with it. If any, and literally any of her friends, even expressed the most remote intention to date Edward, they would not be her friend anymore.

"Bella!"

She turned in surprise, her eyes widening when she saw Alec.

"Hey, babe!" she greeted, smiling at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Two of the kids got in a fight and needed stitches. The parents are here now, so I thought I'd see if you were free to grab coffee with me?"

Bella checked her phone and then nodded. "Yeah, I'd love that and should be fine as long as we're not too long."

Alec grinned at her. "Awesome."

"A fight, huh," Bella said, shaking her head. "Maybe you should go to private school."

"Then they're all on drugs," Annabelle said, smiling wickedly.

Bella stuck her tongue out at her. "Just because you were a total miscreant."

"Oh! Hey, Edward, I didn't see you there," Alec suddenly started.

Bella felt the blood drain from her face.

She'd have to turn and look at him now. How strange would it look if she didn't?

She slowly twisted her body, swallowing hard as she tried to prepare herself for the sight of him.

He was standing by a closed door, obviously waiting for the doctor inside to finish whatever he was doing.

He was holding a textbook open in his large palms, and…

Bella's breath caught in her throat, such an intense wave of heat flooding her body that she felt like she was going to crumple to her knees.

He was wearing glasses.

Those deep, sea-green eyes stared right at her through the black lenses, and she started coughing violently.

"Jesus, babe," Alec chuckled, rubbing her back. "You all right?"

"Just an itchy throat," Bella reassured, her eyes watering. She kept her eyes fixed on Edward's chest and away from the horrifyingly sexy accessory on his face.

Truthfully, staring at his broad chest, his muscles visible even in the loose black T-shirt he was wearing, wasn't much better.

It still left her palms sweating and heat licking up her thighs.

Jesus, what was wrong with her...

"-Friday." Alec finished saying to Edward.

Bella's eyes widened in alarm. She should have been listening; what was Alec asking? Was he inviting Edward to the party?

She forced herself to look at Edward's face and shook her head subtly.

Do not come.

"I'd love to," Edward said with a wicked smile, staring straight into her eyes.

Fuck.

o-O-o

"Edward, can I…talk to you please," Bella said politely.

Tanya raised an eyebrow at her, and Bella fought the urge to glare.

"Give me a sec, Tan," Edward said smoothly, his hand brushing the beautiful blonde girl's arm.

Bella's insides were spitting, but she kept a calm exterior.

She gripped Edward and practically dragged him down the hall, throwing him into an on-call room with her back to the exit so she could make a quick escape if he even looked at her like…

Well…exactly how he was looking at her right now.

He was leaning against the bunk beds; those heavenly green eyes fixed on hers. They looked twice their usual size in his glasses.

She wanted to rip them off his face and crush her mouth to hers, feel his hands all over her.

Jesus Christ. She needed to get this done so she could get out of this room quickly.

"Look, you can't come Friday, okay? Say you won't come," she practically spat at him.

Edward gave her a tired sigh. "Jesus, Bella, you didn't have to drag me in here just to tell me not to come; I'm busy now anyway."

She frowned at him. "Doing what?"

Edward crossed his arms, making his chest look even bigger, and Bella forced her gaze away from him, staring above his head.

"I have a date," Edward said calmly.

Her eyes flew back to his, a jolt in her stomach. "With Tanya?"

Edward nodded, his lips curving up.

She felt like someone had sucker-punched her in the gut.

"Is that all you wanted?" Edward asked casually.

Bella frowned at him. He was acting like she was…nobody to him.

Like he didn't care about her anymore.

"Y-yeah," she said quietly.

"Okay, well, I'd better get back to Tanya then."

He walked up to her, and she darted sideways to free the door.

Edward gripped the handle.

"You should bring her. To the party. On the date," she found herself saying, wishing she could take the words back after they left her mouth.

Edward froze but didn't turn to look at her.

"Maybe," was all he said, opening the door and leaving the room.

Bella frowned after him, shutting the door and going to sit, her chest aching all of a sudden.

She'd thought he was giving her space because she'd asked for it, not because he didn't want to be around her anymore.

Was he…he was over her already? But then he couldn't have had real feelings in the first place… Was this just a game to see if he could tempt her? And she hadn't fallen for it, so now he was giving up?

She should have been grateful he hadn't tried anything, that they'd been alone in a dark room, and she'd come out unscathed.

She should have been grateful he was moving on with someone.

Instead, all she felt was anger and disappointment.

Why didn't he want her anymore?

A/N Whew, well...what are you thinking? Let me know in the reviews! I love hearing your thoughts :)

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Hope you're having a wonderful week,

Ella xx

P.S We have a SECOND Wicked Games update coming this week on Saturday ;)