Pieck wasn't sure when she fell asleep. Yesterday was a mere blur to her. But all she knew was that it was suddenly morning, with the golden sun coated in a masses of fluffy white clouds.
She felt something warm curled to her side. She turned her head to see Falco curled up on her side, cocooned in her body. His little face was as fresh as a raindrop. Falco stirred. He cracked one eye open. She propped herself up with one elbow. "Are you hungry?"
Falco drew his head up slowly, he looked up at her, his baby face unhealthily ashen, his green eyes enormous and scared. Falco cleared his throat before speaking, his voice hoarse and weak. "I'm not hungry, Ms. Pieck."
A stab of vivid pity struck her. She drew Falco's shivering little frame, gently sweeping a lock of his hair from his eyes, now puffy from so much crying. She cracked a faint smile. "Come on, I'm sure you're starving. What do you want? Chestnuts or some crackers?"
Falco feebly shook his head. "I'm fine, Ms. Pieck." He insisted.
Pieck's heart fell silently. She wanted to keep prying into him, but she relented. "Well just in case, I'll get you some crackers, okay?"
With that, Pieck sat upright and saw that Mikasa's hands had not been idle. The campsite has been slightly transformed. There was a tent of sorts consisting of fallen tree branches, sticks and leaves clumped together. Mikasa sat on a grass mat with four woven bowls so tight that it could contain the freshwater she is purifying with iodine.
Armin was wide awake, occupied with building a campfire.
For a moment, Pieck scanned the area for Jean, and her heart sank when she didn't find any sign of him.
Pieck caught a glimpse of Levi limping towards the tree patrol once more. From his slow and measured movement, She could tell that he was exhausted, his severe injuries from his final battle with Zeke was taking a toll on him. She felt a pang of sympathy for him.
"I can take patrol after breakfast so you can rest up." Pieck shouted out.
Levi kept walking without giving her a single glance. "No. I got it." He said resolutely. Pieck opened her mouth to protest, but Levi just disappeared into the forest.
"How much food do we have left?" Falco whispered.
"We still have enough from last night. One last rabbit, some roots, some crackers, and plants. We have a few berries, too," Pieck reported without a second's hesitation. "We're going to have to eat sparingly, so don't go crazy."
Pieck then crawled over to the food pile concealed with a layer of sticks and leaves. She caught a glimpse of her fingernails, caked with blood, and made her pause. She came to the realization that she's been scratching her skin raw in her sleep. She must have experienced a nightmare so dreadful that she did hurt herself in her slumber, though she couldn't remember dreaming.
She collected herself, and gathered up the greens and several crackers. It took time to convince Falco to eat, but eventually he did, and she and Falco gorged themselves on the small meal.
As the morning dragged on, they ate a few more crackers, as well as a portion of the blueberries from the food pile. There was a lengthy stretch of silence settled over them, only broken after some time by Falco looking up to her with a thoughtful look on his face. "What's going to happen now?" he asked.
Pieck wasn't sure. Yesterday was uneventful, but yet her nerves were still on edge. With enough food and water, today looked like it would be uneventful as well. But Pieck didn't feel like having a day of just sitting around and doing nothing; that would only give her more time to dwell on the fact the majority of the world is gone.
Falco sighed. "I miss them."
"Huh? Who?" she asked.
"Everyone. My parents, Colt, and Gabi…Reiner.." His eyes glistened with fresh tears.
She nodded, placing an arm gently around his shoulders. He felt so cold. "I miss them, too. But they're in our hearts."
Falco scowled, shrugging out of her one-armed embrace. "Don't say that, Ms. Pieck; you know they aren't. They're all dead."
Pieck was taken aback by Falco's cynical tone. He didn't sound angry, or even upset, just defeated.
Pieck didn't answer for a minute. So many thoughts had tormented her mind for a long time, but she had never wanted to acknowledge them out loud. Him and her shared the same pain. Both Marleyans, both soldiers, friends, allies, even family, but yet Pieck struggled to build enough confidence in herself to reassure him.
She herself was harrowed by the tragic memories, her own mind felt like it was becoming unglued, piece by piece, her very existence seemed to have been rendered obsolete. If she could not mentally care for herself, then how would she support Falco? Falco's pain was immeasurable compared to hers. From losing all of his loved ones from his halved lifespan to becoming the host of that Centipede. Pieck couldn't fathom how he was truly feeling inside.
After a lengthy period of silence, she remembered remnants of Jean and her conversation yesterday. "I think the Blaus residence will be willing to take you in." She said. "Remember, them?"
Falco feebly nodded. "I do, but…" His voice trailed off. He then sighed heavily, falling into a dull silence.
Pieck ran her fingers through his soft hair. "I promise that everything will be alright now. I swear it. We'll put you somewhere safe and you'll just live a normal life."
A long silence fell between them till Falco broke it. "So," said Falco, "What are we going to do?"
She had to do something. Anything that would keep her mind occupied.
"We could just look out, stay alert and maintain the site for now." she suggested in a whisper.
A thoughtful look crossed his face. "Think I could take watch with the others?"
Pieck was about to say no, but then she remembered Falco's abilities. She gave him a solemn nod. "Of course, you can. Just stay close to the camp. Don't wander off." With that, Falco nodded, stood up, and headed over to the others.
/
The afternoon melted into dusk, the sky rolled out a blanket of clouds the color of wet ash, deep blue-gray shadows fell across the forest floor. The temperature has dropped drastically, and there was a noticeable chill in the air.
Mikasa announced dinner and the group was all hunkered down by the campfire. Pieck grabbed herself one of Mikasa's woven bowls, filling it with roasted nuts, and a chunk of the roasted fish before hunkering down beside Falco.
But even with her full bowl, she could not summon the strength to actually eat.
Momentarily, she watched Falco eat like a bird. He looked awful. Pale, shaken, with slow movement. Then she returned her gaze to her untouched food, and sat still. There was a noticeable fog of silence stretched between the group, the only sounds were the breezing winds and the soft crunching on the chestnuts.
It wasn't until Jean shattered the silence. "So any ideas?"
There was a brief period of silence that fell over the camp.
"Reclaim our home." Mikasa said sternly. "We should just leave in the morning and head straight there."
Armin, who sat next to her, took on a nervous look. "But with what? Mikasa, we don't have much resources to use against them."
Mikasa shook her head stubbornly. "Floch is dead. And no one knows about what happened to us, they probably think we're all dead. We can sneak in and reclaim our home. All that's left are rookies."
Skepticism crossed Jean's face, and he sucked in a deep breath. "How many rookies? Be realistic, think you can take on thousands all at once?" He questioned. "You're saying 'sneaking in' as if it's a walk in the park. After what happened, the community is definitely on high alert. We're really gambling with our lives here. We have no idea what could be waiting for us."
"We have Titan Shifters on our side." Mikasa attested. Pieck's eyes fell on Falco at that moment to see him shudder.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not...sure if I want to fight..anymore.." Falco's voice came out squeaky and small.
Mikasa looked to him, emotions flitting across her face, too rapid for Pieck's mind to follow, although she was fairly certain that she spotted wariness, pity, even a glimpse of fear before it shifted into cold indifference.
Pieck spoke in his defense. "It's already been decided that Falco will live with the Blaus family."
Mikasa eyed Pieck, leveling a glowering look. "I wasn't referring to him."
"And I feel that I should say this; but unfortunately I have to say no as well." Pieck announced. "After what happened," Sorrow crept into her voice. "there's just no incentive for me to do so." Her words were followed by a momentary pause.
Mikasa narrowed her eyes to crinkled slits. "I wasn't referring to you either. I was referring to Armin and Jean. There is no alliance anymore." She hissed. Her low voice so severe that it intimidated Pieck. She could feel the tension rising in the air, so thin that she could cut it with a knife.
"Mikasa," Levi said in a rebuking tone. Mikasa shifted her gaze to him. "Just shut up and eat."
Mikasa paused for a short moment as if considering, but quickly resumed her glare to Pieck.
Pieck was unprepared for the livid hostility in Mikasa's voice all directed to her. "Remember your place, Pieck. Considering who you are, and your past actions, we only tolerated you because we all had the same goal." She reproached.
Pieck shook her head tentatively. "No. No. That's not what I meant." She retorted.
Mikasa voice took on a menacing tone. "Remember at the end of the day, you're still an enemy to us. You yourself played a part in terrorizing our home. There's no need to keep you around anymore!" She hissed, her face bathed in shadows.
Pieck flinched at the sheer tenaciousness and intensity within her voice. But yet her words hurt the most. They penetrated her heart like icy daggers, drawing back her vivid memories. Tears welled up on Pieck's lower lashes, stinging her eyes.
"Mikasa," Jean drew her attention, for a brief moment, Pieck noticed a noticeable sense of anger flashing in his eyes. "Pieck's right. There's no real reason why she would even return with us. She has a target on her back here," Jean interjected.
Pieck let out a quiet sigh, feeling a wave of gratitude for his defense.
"All of this is a huge gamble. Yeah, we have shifters. But Armin can't transform without the risk of killing us all. So in terms of combat, it's just me: Me. But even that's not good enough. Because I have no idea what exactly the Armor Titan's abilities are and I haven't even transformed yet. You've seen what happens when a Titan Shifter transforms for the very first time, I may lose control, and ruin everything."
Armin chimed in. "Jean's right. We should start thinking of alternatives. I'm sure that there are other ways to deal with this. It's best to formulate some kind of plan first instead of jumping headfirst."
"Enough," Mikasa said in a near-silent rasp. "I will not sit on the sidelines. If I die, I do." She then let out a soft exhale. "Any one of you can stay here. But I'm going no matter what."
"Mikasa!" Jean protested. "That's—"
Mikasa regarded him with an air of disregard. "I've made up my mind."
There was a flash of hesitation on Jean's face. "Mikasa, there's no point on going on a suicide mission."
Mikasa's dark eyes narrowed to slits. "I am not going to give up. Paradis is my home and I will protect it with my life!"
"Paradis is all of our home, Mikasa." Jean protested. "But that doesn't change the fact that we have a slim chance of victory here. We're stuck in between a rock and hard place here."
"If you don't want to come, don't!" Her voice clipped and filled with a dark edge.
Pieck caught a glimpse of pain flashing in Jean's eyes.
"Mikasa.." His voice trailed off, the conclusions inescapable.
Mikasa fixed a cold glare. "The rest of us are capable."
"That's not true. There isn't much we can do. The Yeagerists are still an issue, we don't have much combat resources to do much damage, and I'm in a sorry state myself." Levi replied frankly. "All we need to do is now to make good judgement calls before getting ourselves killed."
His words were followed by Mikasa unceremoniously rising from her spot. Her expression smoldering with livid rage, her muscles tight, jaw clenched.
"I do not need any of you." She whipped out both of her unsheathed swords from her hoisters. "I'm strong enough to take on the Yeagerists."
"Mikasa!" Armin shot up to his feet. His eyes wide with alarm. "Please, just calm down and think about what you're saying. Do you really think you can handle all of those Yeagerists all at once?"
"Absolutely." Mikasa said resolutely. "I am heading off without or with any of you." And without another word, Mikasa whipped around, rushing off towards her little makeshift tent before anyone could protest.
And that was the end of the discussion.
/
With an empty stomach, and an unsettled mind, Pieck stood alone on the thick branches, overlooking the wide outskirts, her bleeding finger prepared. The vivid moonlight shone through the clouds and cast a glow through the forest. At first, she was able to draw a concentrated mind, where all of her attention was directed to patrolling. She was restless, seemingly veiled by a particular mental fortitude that safeguarded her from feeling drowsiness, but purely out of fear.
Falco crossed her mind, he couldn't be with her. She contemplated how she can take him to his potential adoptive family. The Yeagerists don't know much about the boy, so he could live a safe and normal life in Paradis. I think it's best if Falco and I do leave in the morning, if their goal is to head back to the inside the districts, Falco and I have to go.
Falco had informed her that they live in a rural area called Draper. A rural area that is known to be quite safe. She heavily contemplated how she would locate the family without running into any trouble, she thought about asking for assistance from the group. But she dismissed that notion. Although Armin and Levi didn't seem to harbor any form of animosity towards her, she knew that none of them would risk their necks for her. She thought of Jean, possibly her only ally here, but she dismissed that notion as well. He had other duties to attend to. He had to protect his home one way or another. He's not going to abandon his comrades for her and Falco. After some time of scrambling her brain, she ultimately decided to lean on Falco for information. He spent enough time with the family to recognize them and their home. All she had to focus on was to somehow sneak their way into the districts and finally give Falco the carefree life he deserves.
As the minutes passed and no threats appeared. Pieck's mind suddenly turned on her like a rabid dog to its owner. Thoughts that were tugging insistently at her mind even now. The tense argument at the campfire, The severity of Mikasa's words left a scar of dread on her heart. As conflicted she was about joining forces with the Paradis Eldians, the realization that this may be her last day with the group filled her with a numbing fear. She couldn't bear the thought of being all alone. She would be positively vulnerable, a sitting duck in a foreign land with a bounty on her head. Without any sort of warning, tears stung her eyes now, hot, salty tears started to streak down her cheeks.
Sinking her deeper and deeper in her vivid memories, until the whole world tapered away from her. At first, it started as fond memories with her father, then it shifted to her close friendship with Willow, to the precious memories of all of her companions that she served with. Porco, or in her mind, 'Pock', Zeke and his favorite phrase to her, Commander Magath. And her fond memories of Gabi descended into that day. The day where the Rumbling actually started. Where she managed to infiltrate the Yeagerist's facility, and held Eren Yeager at gunpoint on both sides.
Guilt began to gnaw at her heart. She wondered what would have happened if she just pulled the trigger at that moment. She could still remember his imperturbable demeanor, even with the muzzle resting on his forehead, he showcased no sense of fear, or even a hint of alarm. His controlled voice daring her to press the trigger, taunting her how she had no authority to kill him. Fresh tears broke out in Pieck's eyes, blurring her vision. The cold temperature in the forest seemed to drop at least twenty degrees.
And then all her mind struck her with a sort of distraught blindness as a consequence of having seen too much over the past few days. The bloody battles on the Founding Titan's spine, the unfathomable bloodbath of the Rumbling, Reiner's death, Father's death, Reiner's death….Jean...Connie..Gabi turning into Pure Titans….Falco… All of the weight of the memories hitting her directly in the chest, sending her staggering as if it had been a physical blow.
And then suddenly, a pair of warm arms appeared behind her to catch her by the arm and steady her. With a startled shriek, she flinched away, whirling around to face Jean.
He looked bewildered from Pieck's sudden outburst. "You okay? Didn't mean to scare you."
"Why are you up here?" Her voice came out thin and shrill.
"I just wanted to tell you there's still some dinner left." Jean said.
"I'm not hungry." Pieck shook her head, her cheeks heating. Her stomach then rumbled, but she ignored it.
Jean stood there for a short moment. Then he pulled out his food pouch. "Well, okay. You can have this, it's best not to be up here on an empty stomach." With that, he removed a small wedge of cheese and crackers and handed it over to Pieck. At first, she was going to reject it, but her stomach's insistent grumbling won out. She took the snack from his hands and tore into it hungrily. She didn't realize how starving she was until this moment.
Jean laughed at her. "See? I knew you were hungry."
Pieck felt her cheek burning up from embarrassment. But yet for what very well could have been the first time, Pieck found herself breaking into a genuine smile. "Thank you." She muttered after she swallowed.
Jean nodded. "My turn is after you." He looked as if he was going to leave, and Pieck suddenly felt a sudden impulse to stop him.
"Hold on—"
Jean paused in his tracks, looking over his shoulder. "Hm?"
Pieck stopped still. Whatever she was going to say to Jean completely vanished from her throat. But all she knew was that she did not want to be alone up here.
Jean turned around, holding up his food pouch. "If you want some more, then you can—"
"No, it's not that—you can still take your turn. We can even eat together." Jean looked confused for a moment, before her words registered with him. "Sounds good." He gazed at the forest floor below. "I'll be right back."
Pieck feebly nodded to that, and Jean descended from the tree. It was a full minute of tensed silence when Jean returned to Pieck's side with two woven bowls filled with roasted chestnut, and chunks of roasted rabbit meat and a water canteen.
"Here you go," Jean handed one of the bowls to her.
She munched down on the chunk of meat, relishing the pungent taste in her mouth. Jean plopped closely beside her, eating his meal.
For a prolonged period, the two ate together in near silence. Momentarily, Pieck's eyes settled on his long face, he stared into the distance, his features taut, and his bright eyes set in a contemplative gaze.
Her thoughts kept coming back to the tensed argument at the campfire. The pained look on Jean's face, Mikasa's steely resolve, and the permeating tension that still lingered in the camp. She could tell that Jean himself was still recoiling from it. And even though she said very little in the conversation, she was still rattled by it as well. She glanced at him curiously, compelled to ask about his feelings. But yet the voice in the back of Pieck's mind warned her against inquiring into the matter.
"Hey, Pieck?"
"Hm?"
"Sorry about..what happened back there with Mikasa."
Pieck shook her head slowly. "No. It's fine. She's honestly right. I have a target on my back for a reason." She couldn't suppress the soft sniffle that followed. "I committed so many horrible actions against your land in the name of Marley."
Momentarily Jean said nothing. He didn't have to; the silence made it obvious enough.
A solemn look crossed his face. "Back then, I did hate you," Jean said. "In fact, I hated Marley entirely for all they did to us."
His forthright words sent a cold shudder running down the base of her spine. Burning tears pricked in her eyes. "Oh." Pieck sighed empathically. "Understandable."
"But after we formed the alliance, and fought alongside one another, I came to realize that Marleyans and Eldians were not so different from one another." Jean fixed her an oddly somber look.
Pieck sat quietly, taking in his words slowly.
"Look, you did what you were ordered to do. You served Marley and you served well." Jean said hesitatingly. He suddenly paused, as if measuring his words. "You still chose to push aside your differences and went beyond the call of duty by joining forces with us to fight the common enemy."
Pieck's eyes welled up with tears once, only this time, these tears of gratitude.
"You always had my back through thick and thin." Jean said sincerely.
Pieck sniffled, his words drawing her back to that harrowing moment where he saved her on the Founding Titan. "You did the same for me."
"That alone is why I trusted you back then. And why I still trust you now. We still have each other's backs."
For what seemed to be prolonged thirty seconds, the entire forest seemed to fall utterly silent as Pieck weighed Jean's statement in her mind. His voice sounded profound with meaning. Then she realized that his face was awfully close, and it probably seemed even closer than it truly was, due to the fact that his eyes were piercing into her own.
Pieck could feel the heat crawling up her neck, filling her cheeks to the point where she believed that they were going to burst.
Finally, somewhere off in the distance, a bird crowed loudly, and the spell was broken.
"Thanks.." Pieck sniffled. "That means alot to me." A tingling shudder ran down to the base of her spine.
"So..are you going to head back to the districts?" she asked tentatively. "I know that's your home and all."
"No." Jean said with melancholy. "As much as I'd love to return home, I can't. There's nothing to come back to. The Yeagerists basically weeded out the old and replaced it with the new." Jean sighed lamentably. "I'm leaving in the morning, I can take the both of you to Draper."
Pieck held back her tears. "Really, you will? Thank you..um...what are you planning to do afterwards?"
Jean shrugged his shoulders. "Not sure. I'm thinking about just living somewhere in the outskirts. I don't want to risk anything. Draper is safe, but I still have a bounty on my head. So I'm going to just wander around and see where it takes me."
Pieck was nearly overcome with the compulsion to ask if she could accompany him. But she did her best to suppress it, knowing how awkward it would sound.
He clearly just wants to help you and Falco get to Draper and then he's leaving on his own. She scolded herself.
She steadied her voice. "Well I hope you have good travels out there." She said.
"So Pieck.." Jean started. He locked a look with her.
Again, she felt the blood rising to heat her face. She didn't like the way he looked at her, that intense gaze that radiated heat through her skin, breaking down her feeble mental barrier. "Hm? What is it?" Then she realized. "Oh, and yes, you can ride on me. We'll just have to be careful."
"No...no...that's not the reason." An odd look flashed on his face.
"So your real reason is…?" She asked.
Jean clenched his fists, his face tensed up. When he spoke, he became surprisingly shy. "I was thinking...since we're friends and all...that after everything is said and done with, we..stick together."
As she registered in his words, Pieck was struck with a sort of dizzy rush, like she might kneel over. She hardly noticed Jean rolling his eyes, as if he was thinking how stupid he sounded.
"Stick together? Does he mean afterwards? Or on the way to Draper?" She thought befuddled. His words baffled her to no end. If he means afterwards, why? What else would he want to do with me?
"Really?" Pieck squinted dumbly. "Y-you… You want what?"
Jean's cheeks grew flushed, he then coughed out a small chuckle. "I think we should team up again." he said, his voice solidifying. "We're both on the lam. And you need protection, and I need...some company. It just seems like a win-win situation, you know?"
Pieck sat there flabbergasted. He wants to protect me? Pieck didn't understand why that part confused her. He protected her before, more times than she'd like to admit. But that was always in the heat of battle, why would he want to protect her off the field?
She then fixated on another part that baffled her. Company? He wants to team up with me because he's lonely?
Then she thought. Well, I'm lonely too. I can't be with Falco once he stays living with the Blaus. And it's not like he has any friends around. So I guess it makes some sense to why he's asking for someone.….
"All right," she said tentatively. "I guess traveling with each other won't hurt…"
A plethora of emotions flickered in Jean's eyes all at once. Shock, surprise, curiosity, and finally to great relief. A broad smile broke on Jean's face. "That's great. We can head out in the early hours of the morning. I just need to say goodbye to everyone beforehand."
Pieck could only smile as a response.
NEXT CHAPTER IS COMING. UPDATE: 4/26/21= So the next chapter is coming next month. Editing the new chapter. Hope you enjoy. REVIEWS AND THOUGHTS. Fingers crossed that the anime gets a totally different ending.
The ending is so bad, that I'm tempted to write my version of the ending. But the canon ending is so horrendous that I'm not sure where to start. My mind is just befuddled to be honest.