imon: {narrating} And so, with high spirits I boldly ventured off where no meerkat had dared to go before. I put my past behind me, ha! {Nighttime in the Pride Lands} And never looked back... {ends narrative; breaks suddenly into sobbing} Mommy! Mommy—Aah! Ha ha! {Far shot of Timon, revealing that he is standing next to Rafiki's baobab tree} What am I doing? {sobs; shot changes to a close-up} Which way should I go?

Rafiki: {appearing upside-down, hanging from a tree} That depends on what you seek.

{Timon does a wild take, goes sprawling. Cut back to the theater seats and silhouettes; Timon pauses the movie.}

Timon: How convenient. Enter omniscient monkey, right on cue.

Pumbaa: Well, you know what they say. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Timon: That's it. No more fortune cookies for you. {Timon clicks the remote; the movie resumes.} Timon: Hey, where'd you come from?

Rafiki: {laughs} Oh, the better question is, where are you going?

Timon: {earnestly} Oh, someplace wonderful, mister, where... where y—You didn't happen to catch the song I sang a few minutes ago, did ya?

Rafiki: I didn't have the pleasure.

Timon: To recap: I want to live in some beautiful place, outside... a carefree place where I don't have to hide or worry.

Rafiki: {jumps down next to Timon} Whoo! Hoo hoo hoo! Life without worry. You seek Hakuna Matata.

Timon: Harpoon a tomato?

Rafiki: Hakuna Matata, it means "No Worries."

Timon: Perfect! Mind taking that stick of yours and drawing me a map, bub? {Rafiki smacks him over the head with the stick} Ow! Hey!

Rafiki: {goes into his mystic-monkey pose} To find it, you must look beyond what you see.

Timon: What the heck is that supposed to mean?

Rafiki: It means, look beyond what you see!

Timon: {imitating Rafiki} Beyond what I see. Ha. Get a load of the monkey, gettin' all existential on me. Beyond what I see. {sees a frog croaking on a rock} Hmm... Beyond what I see. {pans over to a tree stump a little farther away. Immense and meaningful music starts to rise} Beyond what I see... {pans to a tree in the distance; music swells louder} It's kinda hard to think with all this music. Beyond... what I see... {focuses in on Pride Rock in the far distance as the music rises to a climax} Oh, wait a second. It's comin' to me. It's either that slug I ate or I'm having an epiphany! {camera zooms in on Pride Rock} I'm going to the big pointy rock! Right?

{He turns around, but Rafiki is gone.}

Timon: Who was that strange monkey? Ah, well. Dream home, here I come.

{Timon marches off in the direction of Pride Rock. He enters a stand of tall grasses. A snapping sound startles him.}

Timon: Ah... oh-h... hello? Strange but wise monkey? {A flock of birds takes off and startles him again. He climbs up on a rock; then he hears a weird grunting roar, and sees a bulky shape rushing in his direction. He tumbles off the rock and rushes blindly through the grass as the ominous roaring sound pursues him.} Oh! Oh! Aah!

{Timon crashes into a huge snout blocking his path.}

Pumbaa: Aaaah!

Timon: Aaaah!

Pumbaa: Aaaah!

Timon: Aaaah!

Pumbaa: Aaaah!

Timon: Aaaah!

{Timon pauses the movie.}

Pumbaa: You know, first impressions are very important.

Timon: Oh, I thought you were a scream.

{The movie resumes.}

Pumbaa and Timon: Aaaahh!

Timon: Just eat me now... and please make it fast. I got a low threshold for pain.

Pumbaa: Easy, easy there, little guy. I'm not gonna eat you.

Timon: What? you're not? {indignant} Then why were you stalking me?

Pumbaa: Well, gee, I saw you go by and I figured a little fella like you shouldn't be out here all alone.

Timon: Hey, what about you? You're all alone. {suddenly apprehensive} You are all alone, aren't you?

Pumbaa: {ruefully} Yeah. Most animals give me a pretty wide berth.

Timon: {seeing the seeds of an idea} They do? Even the hungry ones?

Pumbaa: Yeah, I drive almost everyone away. People see me comin' and they run for cover. They can't get out of the way fast enough.

{Timon is holding up one of Pumbaa's hooves, playing with it like a pair of scissors.}

Timon: You don't say, you don't say. Must be the gleam on those vicious tusks, huh? Strikes fear into their hearts.

Pumbaa: Actually, they say I wreck their appetite.

Timon: {scheming} Wow, it's like you have this—this... special power.

Pumbaa: {backing away nervously} Special power? Well, i-it's pretty powerful, all right. {gestures indistinctly at his rump}

Timon: Perfect! You're hired.

Pumbaa: Great! ...For what?

Timon: To get me to a little worry-free haven out of that big pointy rock. {indicates Pride Rock}

Pumbaa: And... you want me to come with you?

Timon: Ha ha! Do you see any other big lovable chunk of warthog here, who also happens to have razor-sharp tusks and the ability to repel predators? {grins ingratiatingly}

Pumbaa: I'm your pig.

Timon: You and me, I can tell... we see eye to eye.

Pumbaa: {hopeful} You mean, like friends?

Timon: Whoa, easy there, big fella. I'd say more like {making "quotes" with his fingers"} acquaintances.

Pumbaa: {a bit disappointed} Oh. {brightening} Well, it's a start.

Timon: Put 'er there, acquaintance. {they shake paws} I'm Timon.

Pumbaa: Pumbaa!

Timon: No, really. {Pumbaa grins sincerely at him.} All right then. Let's hit the road.

Pumbaa: You got it... acquaintance.

Timon: So clear up one thing for me. If you weren't gonna eat me, what kind of a wacky wild pig are you?

Pumbaa: I'm an insectivore.

Timon: Oh ho! A bug eater! Well, me too. I just never had a name for it. I'm kinda partial to the crawly critters myself. How about you, big boy?

Pumbaa: I prefer the ones with wings.

Timon: Pumbaa, this could be the start of a beautiful... acquaintanceship.

{The sunrise scene begins again.}

MS: Nants ingonyama bagithi baba

BS: Sithi uhhmm ingonyama

{Pumbaa and Timon enter the scene, walking across the sunrise from left to right.}

Pumbaa: Okay, so now we're back at the beginning. Right, Timon?

Timon: Oh, you got that right, pally. {narrating} At last, things were looking up. I had the sun on my shoulders, the wind at my heels, a song in my heart. {Timon and Pumbaa freak out as the animals all bear down on them} Aah!

Pumbaa: Aah!

{Pumbaa races out from under all the roaring and screeching animals as they rush past; Timon rides on his back.}

Timon: {steering Pumbaa to follow the animals} And to protect me, a great, big, fat guy!

{Pumbaa pauses the movie. Cut back to the silhouettes.}

Pumbaa: {shocked} You really think I look fat?

Timon: Uhh, Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa. You're a pig. It's a compliment!

Pumbaa: {mollified} Oh-ho-ho. Thank you!

{Pumbaa resumes the movie. Pride Rock rises before the two of them as the crest a small hill; a deep lion roar sounds.}

FS: It's the Circle of Life

And it moves us all...

Timon: Whoo-hoo! There it is, the big pointy rock! Oh, baby, we're almost there. {A record-needle scratching sound accompanies them screeching to a halt as the suddenly see that Pride Rock is surrounded by hundreds of animals.}

Pumbaa: I think we're a little late.

Timon: It's a land rush. That loudmouth monkey! He must've blabbed it to the whole world!

Pumbaa: What exactly did he say?

Timon: {imitating Rafiki} Look beyond what you see.

Pumbaa: So maybe you're supposed to look beyond the big pointy rock.

Timon: {as though he came up with it himself} Maybe I'm supposed to look beyond the big pointy rock!

Pumbaa: Hmm?

Timon: Well... let's have a little look, shall we? Beyond what I see... beyond what I see... beyond what I see... {Camera pans past Pride Rock (where Rafiki is carrying Simba to the tip of the promontory) and all the gathered animals to a small hill with a little cave in it right behind the Rock.} Oh ho! What do you know? The monkey's got an eagle eye for real estate!

Pumbaa: {indicating the impending ceremony} Timon, look!

Timon: He-he-hey! It's the monkey!

Pumbaa: What's that he's holdin' up?

Timon: Aw, who cares? It's not important. Come on! My dream home awaits.

{They approach the gathering of animals from behind, rising in front of them like a wall. Pumbaa nervously shrinks back away from them.}

Pumbaa: Uh... I don't do so well in crowds. Maybe we better go around.

Timon: Don't you know the shortest distance between me and my dream home is a straight line? Follow me! {He leads Pumbaa straight into the breach.}

Animal #1: Oh.

Timon: Excuse me!

Animal #2: Ow.

Animal #3: Hello!

Animal #4: Goodness.

Timon: Make room, make room. Watch it, Twiggy. I'm walkin' here!

{Animals snort and glower at them as the push their way through the crowd. Suddenly Pumbaa's stomach gurgles fiercely; he sits down in "emergency" mode.}

Pumbaa: {miserably} Ahem... Timon? There's something I gotta tell ya.

Timon: Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa. We'll have a plenty of time to chat once we settle in.

Pumbaa: {stomach gurgles more; he starts to panic} I could really use a rest stop.

Timon: {trying to get him back on track} Don't worry. You'll get your second wind.

Pumbaa: {breaking out in sweat} Ohh! I got a really bad feeling!

Timon: It'll pass. Trust me! It'll pass.

{Pumbaa releases a massive fart. An elephant freaks out and trumpets. All the animals immediately around them cough and collapse, followed by the ones a little farther away—wildebeests,giraffes, and rhinos.} Zebra #1: Oh, look. The rhinos are bowing.

Zebra #2: Ooh, we'd better bow, too.

{The zebras bow, followed by the antelope in front of them, then more wildebeests, elephants, and the whole rest of the gathered crowd, all laid out in splendid array as seen from the perspective of Mufasa, Rafiki, and Zazu at the tip of the promontory.}

Zazu: Look, sire, how they kneel before the royal son.

{Timon and Pumbaa stand at the epicenter of what looks like a nuclear blast; a slight hissing sound is heard, as well as groans and coughs. We see that the hissing is Timon's hair on fire, fizzling down to his scalp.}

Timon: {goes suddenly from aghast to thrilled} So, I guess that's your special power, huh? What a weapon!

Pumbaa: Uh, you mean, you don't mind?

Timon: Ha ha! Are you kidding? It was a gas! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Pumbaa: {his spirits rising a little} Well, I don't like to toot my own horn...

Timon: Yeah, that's probably for the best. {Pause for a beat.} Let's go, Pumbaa!

Pumbaa: Lead the way!

{Timon and Pumbaa wind their way through the prostrate animals as the beams of sunlight fall on Simba high atop the promontory above them. Dissolve to the piled rocks that mark Timon's new dream-home spot.} Timon: This is it, buddy-boy. Home sweet home! And I don't gotta share it with anybody. Ha ha ha!

Pumbaa: Don't you get, you know, lonely out here?

Timon: Lonely? Try commitment-free. {ties up a hammock and lies down} The elbow-to-elbow life reminds me a little too much of home. This place has everything. Cool refreshments {Pumbaa hands him a massive bowl of slush}, cozy little hammock, a lovely water feature—and it's all mine.

Pumbaa: Oh. {takes in the fact that he's not being factored in; tries to handle it bravely}

Well... it's really coming together, Timon, so, uh, so I guess I'll just be going. {walks off slowly}

Timon: Wait a minute, now wait-wa-wait. There's no law that says you have to go. I mean, if you want—

Pumbaa: {zipping back immediately} Ooh, great! I already made up two beds! {camera shows the two grass beds, one much bigger than the other} One for you, and one for me.

Timon: {yawns luxuriantly} Ohh! Gee, all this construction work has me bushed. Think I'll turn in early. {He crawls over the smaller bed and makes himself comfortable in the larger, Pumbaa-sized bed.} Ahh! Yeah...

{Pumbaa circles around twice, then somehow stuffs himself into the smaller bed. A leg pops out sideways, but he gets comfortable anyway.}

Pumbaa: Ahh... Good night.

Timon: Sleep tight.

Pumbaa: Dream of bedbugs tonight.

Timon: Ahh.

{They fall asleep. Dissolve to the exterior of the cave; camera trucks out slowly as the scene gradually switches to daylight.}

Timon: {narrating} Home sweet home indeed.

{Timon and Pumbaa are both snoring as daylight streams in. Timon is awakened gradually by the muffled sound of "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" pounding in from above.}

Timon: {waking up, groaning} Uhh. Unhh. {He gets up, fetches a long stick, and uses it to bang on the ceiling.} Hey, keep it down up there!

Pumbaa: {waking up} We have neighbors? We should go say hello.

Timon: Noisy neighbors. There go the property values.

{As they emerge from the cave, they find themselves in the middle of the ostentatious finale of the song, with the animals forming a huge pyramid with Simba and Nala at the top.}

Young Simba: ...Standing in the spotlight!

Chorus: Let every creature go for broke and sing

Let's hear it in the herd and on the wing

It's gonna be king Simba's finest fling

Chorus: Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

Timon: Oh, perfect. We moved to the theater district! Get a load of these guys. {He thwacks an elephant with his stick} Hey knock it off!

{The elephant's eyes pop wide open, and he loses his balance; one by one, all the rest of the animals collapse on top of and around him.}

Chorus: Oh, I just can't wait...

Pumbaa: {snatching Timon out of the way of the impending disaster} Timon, look out!

Chorus: ...To be king!

Timon: Aah!

{The pyramid of animals collapses on top of the cave opening, sealing Timon and Pumbaa inside}

Daniel Tiger: Simba are you okay

oung Simba: I'm okay!

Timon: Oy. Phew. Show people.

{Wipe to Timon riding Pumbaa to a new unspecified location.

Timon: Chin up, Pumbaa! {brushes a branch aside} Whoa! Our dream home's around here somewhere.

Pumbaa: You know, Timon, I once came across a place that might be just what you're looking for. {Illustrations from TLK 1 accompany the descriptions} Spectacular waterfalls, set in a lush tropical oasis. A scrumptious array of—

Timon: {interrupting} Hey, hey, hey. Forget it, Pumbaa. I'm a realist, and I'm not gonna go chasing after some fantasy. I'm goin' beyond what I see.

Pumbaa: But if you always go beyond what you see, how do you know when you're there?

Timon: {impatiently} Oh, I'll tell you how I know. We're there! {gestures stubbornly at the surroundings: the Elephant Graveyard} This is a lovely spot. Lovely. Rustic. Picturesque. Home sweet home, Pumbaa. Mm-hmm. Home sweet ho— {A chunk of elephant skull that he's leaning against gives way, and he collapses inside} —Aah! Whoop! Ah ha ha ha! I—I mean, sure... it needs a little work. But it's got good bones. Ha ha ha! After all... this is an elephant graveyard. And who would ever come to an elephant graveyard? ...Aaaahh!

{A roar precedes the arrival of Mufasa, leaping over the elephant tusk where Timon and Pumbaa had been, before diving out of the way just in time. As Mufasa rushes off stage left, Zazu flies after him, briefing him on the situation we all remember from TLK 1.}

Zazu: Sire, the hyenas are after the childrens!

Pumbaa and Timon watch wide-eyed from the sinus cavity of the elephant skull, as the shadows cast on them pantomime the scene of Mufasa beating up the hyenas.}

Timon: {whispering, à la "The Sixth Sense"} I see carnivores...