A SIDE OF PILAF RICE
Several months later. Yamcha is now 16, and continues training and going on missions with the Crystal Gems. They all decide to take the day off, but their relaxation is cut short when they hear the sounds of fighting and roaring close by and decide to check it out.
It doesn't take long for them to find the source: four people trying to run from and fight off several Centipeetle monsters. The four people? A monkey-tailed boy with spiky hair, a pig, a blue cat, and a beautiful periwinkle-haired girl.
The monkey boy is doing a good job keeping the Centipeetles away and turning them into smoke, but is becoming overwhelmed as he tries to protect the woman and two animals. Yamcha and the Gems rush in, helping the boy destroy the rest of the monsters. They're not leaving any gems behind, leading to Peridot theorizing that the "mother" must be nearby.
The four strangers, though grateful, are perplexed at what just happened. Yamcha, for his part, becomes flustered as he makes eye contact with the girl. He gets distracted a moment later when he sees that the boy is wielding the Nyoibō, the weapon of the famous martial artist Son Gohan. This intrigues Yamcha and he asks the kid where he got that. The boy says his grandfather gave it to him, leaving Yamcha shocked that Son Gohan has a grandson.
Eventually, they introduce themselves to each other. The four strangers—Goku, Bulma, Oolong and Puar—say that they're on an 'adventure' when questioned why they're in the Diablo Desert. Goku does his little 'pat-pat' maneuver on the nearest Gem, which happens to be Apache Tears, and asks if she's a girl. Apache becomes flustered and yells at him, and Bulma smacks him upside the head for doing that.
Rose tells them that there might be more of those Centipeetles and their "mother" out here, and they should probably stay with them until they find it. Jasper and Peridot try to argue against this, but Lapis agrees with Rose and reminds them that Holly trusted them to protect the Earth, and that includes its inhabitants. Though still reluctant, Jasper, Peridot and Apache agree to do it.
The four strangers agree to go with them, seeing that they have no choice with Bulma losing her Capsules and not wanting to run into more of those monsters. All ten of them head back to Kung Pao Rock, where they can recover from the fight and have dinner. And of course, the Crystal Gems are shocked at how much Goku can eat.
Bulma tries to flirt with and snuggle up close to Yamcha, who constantly becomes flustered and freezes up around her. Seeing his panic, Lapis tries to think of something to distract Bulma, and just blurts out, "Did you know we saved your planet thousands of years ago?!"
That catches the strangers' attentions. Goku, for his part, innocently assumes that they're good guys based on that sentence alone. Peridot and Jasper are annoyed with Lapis just blurting that out, but then Bulma asks what she means and Peridot is more than happy to answer.
Making sure to spare certain details, Peridot tells Bulma about how the Crystal Gems fought to keep the Earth safe and have been protecting it ever since. Bulma finds it hard to believe and says the Gems don't look that old, to which Peridot talks about how their appearance are just conscious manifestations of light, even displaying her ferrokinesis at one point. Bulma and the others are in awe at this; the distraction allows Yamcha to move away from Bulma, which he quietly thanks Lapis for.
While Bulma and Peridot talk, Goku asks Jasper if she's strong, to which she proudly responds that she's one of the strongest Crystal Gems. Goku gets a starry look in his eyes and asks if he can fight her. Jasper's about to agree to a spar, but is cut off when Rose says they can spar after they've caught the Centipeetle mother, wanting to focus on finding the monster first.
A bit of time passes and the sun begins to set. Bulma heads to the bathroom to take a shower, while Jasper, Peridot, Rose and Apache leave to scout out the Centipeetle mother, Yamcha and Lapis clean up the dishes in the kitchen, and Goku stays with Oolong and Puar in the living room.
Oolong asks Goku why he and Bulma are planning to head to Fry-Pan Mountain, and Goku tells them about the Dragon Balls. Yamcha overhears this from the kitchen and is immediately intrigued. An idea strikes him, and he quietly tells Lapis about it: to use the Dragon Balls to wish away his fear of girls, so he can get married one day.
Jasper, Rose, Apache and Peridot return several minutes later, unable to find the Centipeetle mother. Bulma finishes up her shower, and Yamcha shyly gives her his extra pajamas, which are clearly too big for her.
Yamcha and Lapis decide to smooth-talk Goku, Bulma and the other Gems, saying that they could tag along on the adventure after capturing the Centipeetle and provide extra muscle for the team. Peridot tries to object, saying that they need to keep going on missions, but Lapis quickly interrupts and says they can always hunt down Gem monsters later. Yamcha brings up that he's never been outside the Diablo Desert (not counting missions), much to the surprise of Bulma, and suggests that it could be a valuable learning experience.
Peridot is still conflicted, so Lapis pulls her and the other Gems aside to tell them about the Dragon Balls. Upon hearing that they can grant any wish, something stirs within Peridot. Any wish? Did that mean…she could bring Holly back?
With an excited grin on her face, Peridot agrees to go with them on this 'adventure', much to Yamcha's pleasant surprise. It takes a bit more convincing with Jasper, Rose and Apache, but they eventually agree to tag along.
OoOoOoO
The rest of the night is rather uneventful, consisting of the Crystal Gems and the four strangers continuing to mingle before heading off to bed, while the Gems head into their rooms.
At dawn, however, everyone is awakened by a loud crash that shakes Kung Pao Rock. Several more Centipeetles have appeared outside, but are now accompanied by the gargantuan, acid-spitting Centipeetle Mother (later revealed to be a corrupted Nephrite).
Goku rushes out with his Nyoibō and Yamcha hurries to get the Gems, while Bulma and the others hide. Goku manages to hold his own against the Centipeetles for a few minutes and is able to dodge the Mother's acid, but starts to become overwhelmed. Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait too long, as Yamcha quickly joins him with Holly's sword in hand and the Crystal Gems right behind him.
Jasper helps Goku clean up the smaller Centipeetles, Rose throws her shield up to protect everyone from the acid, and Lapis and Peridot manage to distract the Mother while Yamcha and Apache attack it with their weapons. It takes a few attempts, but after a while, they manage to destroy the Mother's physical form.
Goku, Yamcha and the Gems take a moment to recover from the fight, during which Bulma rushes out and hugs Yamcha, saying he was so brave and strong…which causes him to turn red and freeze up again. Seeing this, and completely oblivious to what's happening, Apache forcefully separates them. Yamcha takes the opportunity to rush away from Bulma and grab the Nephrite's gem and, surprising even himself, successfully bubbles it for the first time, much to the Gems' joy.
With the Centipeetles taken care of, the Crystal Gems and the four strangers head out.
OoOoOoO
The next two days are spent traveling and following Bulma's radar. Bulma, Oolong, Puar, Apache, Peridot and Rose stay in Oolong's house-wagon as the pig drives, while Lapis uses her water wings to fly, Goku uses his trusty Kinto'un, and Yamcha and Jasper ride on Okami's back, who proves to be very nimble.
The group stops every few hours and at night to rest, during which they start creating friendships. Bulma and Peridot fascinate each other with their intelligence and their technological creations, while Goku spars with Yamcha and Jasper individually, and the others mingle together, though Apache manages to creep out Oolong and Bulma more than a few times. When Oolong asks Bulma what she plans to wish for, she says the "perfect boyfriend"; while this enrages Oolong, it makes Peridot feel justified in her plans to steal the wish and bring Holly back.
Yamcha, when he's not getting flustered by Bulma's constant flirting, is fascinated with almost everything he sees; something that allows him and Goku to further develop their bond.
When they stop for the night, the group puts up a bonfire and gathers around it for a few hours, chatting it up and roasting snacks together. And of course, Rose provides entertainment with her beautiful voice.
Rose Quartz: "Isn't this such a beautiful night?
We're underneath a thousand shining stars
Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different?
Why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?
Look at this place, look at your faces
I've never seen you look like this before
Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different?
Why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?
Look at this place, look at your faces
They're shining like a thousand shining stars
Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different?
Why don't you let yourself just be wherever you are?
Why don't you let yourself just be somewhere different?
Why don't you let yourself just be whoever you are?"
OoOoOoO
Finally, after two long days, the group arrives at Mount Fry-Pan. Oolong and Puar tell them about the fire, the treasures hidden within the castle, and the infamous Ox-King. Bulma concludes that the sixth Dragon Ball must be in the castle.
Yamcha asks Lapis is she can put the fire out, but she says she'd need a lot of water to do so, and the ocean is hundreds of miles away, so it might take her a while to do so. Before she can try, Goku summons Kinto'un and tries to fly into the castle, but the flames are too high and the heat is too much for him.
That's when the Ox-King appears, threatening the group with his enormous axe and demanding to know what they're doing here. The Gems summon their weapons and Yamcha unsheathes his sword, ready to protect the others. Goku returns before they can start fighting, and Ox-King immediately recognizes Kinto'un and the Nyoibō, revealing that he was Master Roshi's former student alongside Son Gohan.
Ox-King is overjoyed by this revelation, saying he can finally get his castle back. He asks Goku if he can find Roshi and retrieve the Bansho Fan, to which Goku happily agrees to do so. Lapis offers to accompany him, which Goku also accepts. Before they leave, however, Ox-King asks if they can pick up his daughter Chi-Chi on the way and shows them a photo of her. Ox-King even jokingly offers to let Goku marry Chi-Chi once they're old enough, though it completely flies over the boy's head.
Goku and Lapis head off. It doesn't take them long to find Chi-Chi, who has just killed a tyrannosaurus rex, and freaks out and attacks the pair when they land in front of her and startle her. She fires a beam from her helmet at them, which they both dodge, and Lapis subdues Chi-Chi by grabbing the girl with her water wings and holds her in place until she calms down.
Lapis releases her and Goku explains the situation, to which Chi-Chi agrees to come along. She struggles to climb onto Kinto'un and grabs Goku's tail, which temporarily weakens him. Once they're both onboard, Goku and Chi-Chi fly off, with Lapis right behind them. During the journey, Goku does his little 'pat-pat' to see if Chi-Chi's a girl, causing her to freak out and push him off the cloud. But once they're back on route, Chi-Chi calms down and starts to believe that it means she should become Goku's wife.
It doesn't take the trio long before they fly across the ocean and finally stumble across Kame House, where Roshi resides with his trusty Turtle. Roshi takes a liking to Lapis when she lands, but doesn't get a chance to talk with her before Goku asks about the Bansho Fan. Roshi explains what the Bansho Fan is to Goku and how it can summon a typhoon, a thunderstorm or a monsoon. He agrees to help Chi-Chi, but on one condition: he gets some "alone time" with Bulma, or probably that "blue water girl", once he's done. Completely oblivious, Goku agrees.
However, when Roshi tries to find the Bansho Fan, he realizes that he threw it away a long time ago. But luckily, he has a backup plan!
Roshi tells Goku and Chi-Chi to head back to Mt. Fry-Pan on Kinto'un, but stops Lapis and asks (with a cheeky grin) if she'd be able to carry him there. Lapis cheerfully agrees to do so, much to the perverted Hermit's delight, but it becomes more than he bargained for when she grabs him by the hands and flies at high speeds after Goku and Chi-Chi. And when they make it back to Mt. Fry-Pan and Lapis sets him down, Roshi takes a moment to throw up.
Once he's recovered, Roshi reminds Goku of their deal, and the boy grabs Bulma and tells her about it. Shocked and flustered, Bulma initially refuses to do so, but an idea strikes her and she tells Roshi she'll only do it after he puts out the fire. As she does so, Roshi looks around for the first time and finally notices the other "cute girls", which ends with Bulma punching him in the head when he tries to get close to Rose's chest.
Finally, to the amazement of everyone, Roshi concentrates all of his dormant chi into a single blast known as the Kamehameha and takes out the fire…except it destroys the entire mountain.
While Bulma, Yamcha and the Gems look for the sixth Dragon Ball, Goku asks Roshi if he can teach him the Kamehameha. Roshi declines at first, but after seeing Goku perform it with ease (destroying the House-Wagon in the process) and learning that he's Son Gohan's grandson, he offers to make Goku his student.
Apache finds the seven-star Dragon Ball within the rubble. With the House-Wagon destroyed, Ox-King offers one of his old hovercars; it's a bit small, but Bulma, Oolong, Puar, Rose, Peridot and Apache manage to squeeze themselves into it. Bulma locates the final Dragon Ball, but before they can leave, Roshi reminds her of their deal.
Bulma pulls Oolong aside and tells him about the deal she made, and asks Oolong to shapeshift and take her place. He immediately refuses to do so and demands that she gets one of the Gems to do it instead, but Bulma snaps that she'd never force another woman to do that. After a few threats from Bulma, Oolong reluctantly agrees and transforms into a perfect copy of Bulma…but ends up going a bit overboard when he lets Roshi touch his breasts…
As this happens, Chi-Chi asks Goku if, in the future, he'll return and marry her. Goku doesn't understand, but make the promise anyways.
Bulma climbs back in the driver's seat, and the group of friends head off to find the seventh and final Dragon Ball.
OoOoOoO
A few more days pass, with the group getting closer and closer to the Dragon Ball. During this time, when they're all settled down to rest, Yamcha and Bulma start to grow a bit more comfortable around each other. Bulma inevitably sees the gemstone on Yamcha's chest when she tries to spy on him undressing and asks if he's a Gem like the others. Though flustered, Yamcha explains that he's half-Gem, that his mother gave up her form to give birth to him, and that he inherited Holly's gemstone and some of her powers as a result. All of this fascinates Bulma, and allows the two of them to develop a bond.
The group continues their journey through the desert, when a rocket is suddenly launched at their hovercar. Rose spots it at the last second and throws up her shield; it protects them, but the surprise of it causes Bulma to yank the wheel and roll the car over.
All six of them are more surprised than hurt, and the others immediately stop to help them up. A dog-man in a robotic suit suddenly flies in and tries to steal the bag containing the Dragon Balls, but is stopped when Jasper punches the suit and Lapis yanks him out of it.
The dog-man, Shu, is sweating bullets as Lapis holds him by the back of his clothes. Bulma demands to know what he wants with the Dragon Balls; he tries to avoid answering at first, but after a few threats from Jasper, he quickly cries out that Emperor Pilaf already has one of the balls and asked him to gather them so he can become world ruler.
As Rose put the hovercar back upright, Bulma tells Shu to take them to the final Dragon Ball, to which he reluctantly agrees to do. Meanwhile, Mai watches all this from a distance and hurriedly radios what's going on to Pilaf, then rushes back to her emperor in her car.
Shu leads the group to Pilaf's castle and they follow him inside, while Okami stays outside to rest. As he walks, Shu sees arrows on the floor and hides a smirk, knowing his emperor is planning something for these chumps. He eventually leads the ten of them to a dead end and they become trapped; the ceiling opens up and a metal claw grabs a smug Shu, bringing him to Pilaf and Mai. Even though things aren't going as planned, Pilaf's still determined to get those Dragon Balls.
Pilaf demands the Dragon Balls from the group. Apache, who's holding the bag with the Dragon Balls, snaps that she'll never give them to a twat like him. Pilar tries to "intimidate" Bulma and the Gems with his prudish ways, but when that doesn't work, he pumps sleeping gas into the room.
But he learns the hard way that, while it works on the organic members of their group, it has no effect on the Gems. Enraged, Jasper punches a hole in the wall and rushes out with Peridot and Lapis right behind her, determined to kick Pilaf and his minions' asses, while Rose and Apache stay behind with the Dragon Balls.
Pilaf, Mai and Shu grab their one Dragon Ball and run from the three Gems in terror. Jasper wrecks a good portion of the castle in her rage, and eventually stumbles across the Pilaf Gang in the maze of hallways, much to their horror. She grabs Pilaf before he can run away, but Lapis and Peridot show up and manage to talk her out of beating him up. Though still pissed off, Jasper takes the final Dragon Ball from them. She drops Pilaf, and Peridot tells them to leave before they change their minds, causing the Pilaf Gang to run off into the desert.
OoOoOoO
Jasper, Lapis and Peridot head back to the room and help Rose and Apache bring the others outside. By the time night has fallen and the moon is high in the sky, Yamcha and the others regain consciousness; Rose and Peridot are overjoyed to see that he's okay and start coddling him, much to his embarrassment.
Lapis excitedly tells them that they've got all seven Dragon Balls now, and are ready to make a wish, unaware of what Peridot has planned. They get the Dragon Balls out and Bulma calls out for the dragon to come forth. The balls star glowing, and the eternal dragon Shenron appears with as much pomp and circumstance as expected, ready to grant them one wish.
Bulma's hesitant to make her "perfect boyfriend" wish, and glances over at Yamcha when it pops up in her mind. Yamcha, on the other hand, is ready to wish away his fear of girls. But before he or anyone else can make their wishes, Peridot pushes past everyone and asks Shenron for one thing: to bring back Holly Blue Agate.
The others are surprised, but Shenron replies that he cannot fulfill that wish, as Holly does not want to return. Peridot loses her smile and starts to walk away in disappointment, struggling to hold back tears. Yamcha follows after her, catching her as she collapses to her knees and weeps out that she'll never get to see Holly again. Yamcha comforts her, and Rose and Lapis join them.
The moment of silence is quickly broken by Shenron impatiently asking for someone to make a wish. Yamcha momentarily contemplates making his wish, but Oolong beats him to the punch by asking for the panties of a hot babe. The article of clothing floats down into Oolong's hands, and Shenron disappears. The Dragon Balls rise up into the sky and scatter across the globe, much to the amazement of the group.
Bulma explains that, once a wish is granted, the Dragon Balls turn to stone for a whole year and cannot be used until then. Jasper's annoyed that they came all this way just to give a pig some panties, but Rose calms her down, saying that the journey here was still memorable.
Lapis, in an attempt to cheer Peridot up, tells her that there's a full moon out tonight and that it looks beautiful, to which Peridot agrees when she looks up at it. Goku tells the group that a horrible monster comes out during a full moon, saying that his grandpa died when said monster stepped on him. Apache thinks he's talking about a corrupted Gem and asks what kind of monster it was, but Goku responds that he never saw it because he slept through the whole thing.
Then Goku mentions that his grandpa told him to never look at the full moon, and it finally clicks for everyone else. A nervous Bulma asks if he looked at the moon the night Son Gohan died, and Goku confirms that he did. The others tell him to not look at the moon, but it inevitably leads to him looking straight at it anyways, much to their horror.
For a minute, nothing happens. Then Goku begins to transform into a giant, monstrous Oozaru before their eyes, blindly attacking everything in his way. The others are forced to run so they won't get crushed. Yamcha ends up grabbing Bulma and carrying her away before she can get crushed by flying debris from the castle, which Bulma finds romantic despite the danger around them.
Lapis quickly remembers how Goku reacted when Chi-Chi grabbed his tail, and tells the others about the monkey boy's weakness. Then, in a moment of desperation, Lapis asks Jasper to fuse with her, knowing they'll have a better chance with their combined strengths and abilities. Jasper agrees, and the two create the colossal, centaur-like fusion Malachite.
Yamcha, Bulma, Oolong and Puar watch in fascination as Malachite charges at Goku and fights him off, but she doesn't come out without a few scratches and bite marks. As Malachite holds Goku off, Rose rushes in and grabs the boy's tail, which stuns him and allows Malachite to punch him as hard as she can. Unfortunately, the force of the punch combined with Rose's strong grip causes her to accidentally rip Goku's tail clean off, and he reverts back to normal and falls asleep.
It takes everyone a minute to process what just happened. Malachite defuses and Rose is left holding Goku's tail (which also shrunk back to normal). The others are left exhausted from today's events, and the Gems let them sleep while they stand guard for the rest of the night. The Gems talk throughout the night, with Peridot remarking that Earth-creatures are so confusing. They agree not to tell Goku that he was the monster that killed his grandfather; it would break his heart, and besides, it seems that he'll never be that dangerous again without his tail.
The sun rises hours later. Yamcha and the others awaken just a few minutes before Goku does, who has no memory of what happened last night. Since his clothes were destroyed, Bulma tells Oolong to give Goku those panties, but the pig strongly refuses and just gives Goku his pants instead.
As Goku rushes over to the castle rubble to find his trusty Nyoibō, Yamcha and Bulma start talking again. They reveal what their wishes would've been, earning a few embarrassed chuckles from each other. Then, Bulma points out that he didn't seem so afraid when he saved her last night. Yamcha tries to laugh it off, but doesn't get the chance, as Bulma wraps her arms around him and kisses him on the lips. They didn't need any Dragon Balls or fancy wishes to find love; they found it through each other.
Bulma invites Yamcha to come live in the city with her, but Peridot jumps in before he can respond and hastily refuses, saying that Yamcha has to live with the Gems at Kung Pao Rock. She refuses to budge on the topic, but agrees that Yamcha visit her in West City (when he's not on missions or training).
Oolong and Puar agree to go live with Bulma. She asks Goku if he wants to come with them, but he declines, saying he's gonna go train with Roshi. Bulma pulls two capsules out her bag, revealing to be a plane for her, and a van for Yamcha and the Gems. Bulma gives Yamcha her address and the two share one last kiss before departing.
After Bulma and Goku fly off, Rose, Peridot, Jasper and Apache climb into the van, Yamcha jumps onto Okami's back again, and Lapis summons her water wings. It takes a few days to return to Kung Pao Rock, but Yamcha couldn't be happier.
Little do any of them know that this is just the first of many adventures to come, and that this will lead them down a path that none of them will ever expect…
And that takes care of the Emperor Pilaf Arc! Up next: training for the tournament!
Oolong and Puar remained friends and stayed together after shapeshifting school in this AU, and eventually became partners-in-crime
Oh yeah, we're keeping the musical aspect in this fic. This won't be the last song we see
Since Jasper and Lapis have a good relationship in this AU, Malachite is a stable fusion
Headcanon voice for stable Malachite – Aimee Mann (yes, I know she already voices Opal, but she was barely on screen for three minutes, plus I feel like her mature, feminine voice would really fit Malachite)
And because I forgot to include this last chapter: headcanon voice for Turquoise – Amber Lee Connors (sounds like Nozomi from the English dub of "Keijo")
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this mess! Please leave a review letting me know what you think! God bless you and have a wonderful day/night/whenever you read this!