Thank you Guest and Liatria for the reviews, I'm glad you liked the chapter haha. Ultear will come soon! She's the bad apple I love to write. Maybe as much as I love writing Siegrain. Anddddd we're going at a solid T from here on out.

This one's not as funny to read, but friendships be friendships, amirite? ;')

Council Shenanigans

"Now now, Sugarboy. Remember to abstain from sexual intercourse while on duty."

For people that had a renowned reputation, Siegrain was not buying their act.

Crawford seemed on the edge by the appearance of Zentopia, who wished to cast blessings inside Era's walls. The notion seemed kind, but the chairman was obviously convinced there had been ulterior motives to their visit.

"Archbishop!" Crawford exclaimed rather dutifully, though his eyes held their malice. "What brings you here to Era?"

"Greetings, from the church and ourselves. Zentopia is pleased to have the opportunity to bless the National Magic Council."

Siegrain almost laughed at Crawford's expression. He really did deserve it after shredding his documents and his beautiful, beautiful handwriting.

Little did he know, Zentopia would be having the last laugh today.

All the councillors stood with Chairman Crawford and shot each other quizzical looks when their eyes trailed from the Archbishop to his...

Subordinates? Their clothing had told them otherwise.

"Like, why are we here?" one of them asked oh-so arrogantly. A woman, at that.

Siegrain could only describe her as an egocentric maniac. Judging by the stares received, all the councillors shared the same thoughts.

Goody. The only time where a cult leader and political geezers could agree on something. The girl seemed no more older than Siegrain, but for someone her age with the duties associated with her, she was a rather dull person.

Another voice sent chills down his spine, "And who might this beautiful fella be?"

He expected the voice of a woman, but when he came face to face with a man clad in pink armour and hair spiralling out of his head, Siegrain jumped.

Never in his life had he felt so threatened by a presence until now. The councillors would have felt sorry had they not been busy trying to revive Chairman Crawford from his initial shock due to the Archbishop's sorry excuse of a team.

Because really, WHAT KIND OF LOYAL SUBORDINATES WERE THESE PEOPLE? It should have been a joke...right?

Right!?

Trying to recover himself, Siegrain sighed, "Greetings, I am Councilman Siegrain."

"Very nice...nobody had told me they had someone so charming here. I try to read those Sorcerer Weekly magazines. Beautiful ladies and beautiful men, how exciting!"

"...I see. Well, my thoughts differ on the matter."

"Come on! Don't be so coy with me."

"Pardon me?"

"You and I are just dripping with good looks."

If that were any attempt to compliment him, it was rather cliché.

The councilman mouthed to the others, help me.

And being the ever so civilized people, they decided to leave their fellow colleague be.

"Listen, this must be a misunderstanding. You cannot be the Archbishop's subordinates. You're rather...improper." For lack of the better term, that was.

The woman clearly hadn't bothered paying attention to the conversation, "You as well, girl. Both of you are rather undeserving for people who hold such honourable titles."

I'd certainly never let such idiots be a part of my glorious cult.

"Playin' hard to get, huh?" Sugarboy challenged, to which Siegrain gaped at him.

"Pardon me?"

"You and I will reenact the Romans. Beautiful art should not go to waste, be it men together, or women."

Siegrain was not dense; having read mythologies over his years of studying magic, this man had been referring to sexual acts.

The Archbishop ever-so-humbly chastised the guard, "Now now, Sugarboy. Remember to abstain from sexual intercourse while on duty."

For one, he was putting Sugarboy's thoughts into very light terms.

Siegrain grabbed them by the collars, seemingly satisfied with how they yelled in the process. Right then and there, Siegrain sent both Mary Hughes and Sugarboy flying outside.

"Oh dear me, I hope they're not hurt," the Archbishop commented. Siegrain had to wonder how the man remained so calm despite people getting hurled at a bunch of pillars.

The other members silently thanked him. And thus, concluding the first instance of how a devoted follower of Zeref made friends with a bunch of geezers.

Maybe he could take some meditation course at Zentopia.

It was worth considering.