Fox sees a staff sticking out of the ground at an angle. His first thought is something along the lines of "Look! A stick!" His second thought is something like "I should really pull that stick out of the ground swing it around a bunch."
So he runs over to the stick and grabs it.
Somewhere in the depths of Fox's brain, there's a blue lady fox in far too little clothing for this time of year. She should at least be wearing a jacket, Fox notes. It gets rather chilly.
She accompanies a sickly looking kxhoo xehd. The kxhoo xehd looks very sick, as previously stated. The fox speaks to it in a language Fox doesn't understand. For clarification here, the blue lady fox is speaking, and not The Fox, as in Fox McCloud, leader of Team Star Fox and legal owner of the Star Fox brand. Hope that clears up any confusion.
You see, when James McCloud named his son after his species, he thought it was really funny. The confusion it would cause. The confusion it DID cause. And because of that, James McCloud thought it was funny until the day he was brutally murdered by his best friend. But that's another story for another time.
Anyway, the blue lady fox - not Fox, to be clear - brings comfort to with this wounded kxhoo xehd with her soothing words and a touch as gentle as a staggeringly tall lummox with a heart made out of and filled with solid gold.
The warmth in the air is so thick that Fox can taste it - not the blue lady fox, this time, for the sake of clarity - even though he isn't physically present.
Then a big nasty lizard man picks her up and throws her into a crystal while laughing maniacally. She floats out of vision and Fox returns to the stick, but he can't move.
He is stricken with fear. It's as if that dreaded start button was pressed again, which he hopes isn't the case.
The noncorporeal head of the blue lady fox floats before Fox floats in circles in front of him. His eyes widen in existential horror.
"Ijo kxo R rikked ke nxusb kxadwj nakx 0eih jkasb! Kh0 ak!" She says.
Fox can neither move nor think nor speak. He just stares into the vacuum that is her eyes.
"Ak aj u houcc0 weet jkasb! 0ei cabo ak! Jnadw ak uheidt idkac 0ei rhoub kxadwj!" She says desperately.
"Wh-wh-" Fox stammers, his whole body trembling with fear and confusion.
"Homomroh ke fhojj kxo R rikked! Kxo R rikkeeeeed!" she says, fading back into nonexistence.
Fox freezes again, and it's not because of the weather. Stay tuned to find out why.
Star Fox Adventures
chapter three;
Krystal's Rage in the Crystal Cage
It's because he's not moving, not because he's cold. Sorry about that, the producers told me to try to put more hooks in the story to keep you invested, so this is something of an experiment. Please tell me how it went in the reviews, and be sure to favorite and subscribe because it really helps me out a lot.
"Slippy!" he says, desperately into his comm unit. "Slippy! Do you read?!"
"Peppy here, read you loud and clear. What do you need? Over."
"You know you don't have to talk like that on the comm unit, right?"
"What do you require?" Peppy asks, pretending he didn't hear that. "Over."
"Is Slippy around?!" Fox is wide eyed. His eyes darting from one side of their respective sockets to the other. Like a racketball trapped between dimensions.
"Negatory," Peppy responds. "He is fixing the office toilet. Over."
"Fixing the toilet?! Who's idea was that!" Fox hisses. "He's just going to smash it with a wrench! I'm going to have to do my business by the recroom like the rest of you sav- HHHHHHH. Who's idea was this?"
"Mine. Isn't he the mechanic? Over."
"We tell him that to keep him occupied! He just smashes things with a wrench all the time! We give him broken and outdated equipment!" Fox is exasperated. "HOW have you not noticed this?!"
"Oh, right," he says, thinking about it. "Like the soundboard thing. I swear, you forget so many things when you get olde-"
"What soundboard thing." Fox demands.
Fox can hear Peppy's eyes widening.
"I heard that," Fox says, putting his hands on his hips.
"No you didn't," Peppy says, his eyes shrinking and sinking into his face like a paper boat with no seal. The kind of seal that closes things, not the kind of seal that barks all the time. "Over."
"Yes huh!" Fox says, pointing. Peppy isn't there, but Fox is pretending he is so he can *point*. "And I heard your eyes just shrinking and sinking into your face like an unsealed paper boat! To be clear I'm talking about the kind of seal that closes things, and not the kind that does fun tricks like balancing beachballs on their nose! I would never un a seal like that!"
"Oh! OH!" Peppy says, panicking, "so you're just gonna rub it in, aren't you sonny?! Over!"
"What? I-" Fox is confused. He gets confused a lot. It's kind of his thing.
"Always jibberin' and jabberin' about how good your ears is!" he huffs. "How - how much better you are at hearing at me because I'm OLD! OVER!"
"Peppy, that's not-" Fox starts.
"Like how I couldn't hear you putting yer paws on yer hips! Over!"
"How did you know I put my paws on my hips?"
"I knowed you done it I-" Peppy pauses to pretend to weep. "I just couldn't hear it is all. Over."
"Peppy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" Fox tries to say as a whole sentence instead of just a fragment of one.
"What do you want, Fox," Peppy says, convincing himself he's hurt. "Or did you just call in to bully an old man? To - to ABUSE your elders instead of respectin' 'em like your dear old dad would have wanted to. Over..."
"I-" Fox doesn't know what to say to that, so he moves on. "Do you know any Saurian?"
"Saurian? I know a touch. Over."
"What did that beautiful blue lady fox say?!" Fox is excited to be arriving at this part of the conversation.
"What beautiful blue lady fox? Over."
"The one in my head!" Fox exclaims excitedly, only just now realizing how insane that sounds.
"...Fox, do you know how insane what you just said sounds? Over."
"I do," Fox sighs. "I genuinely do... Hey, do you think Slippy would know?"
"I would recommend seeing a doctor," Peppy says flatly. "Over and out."
Then he hangs up.
Fox follows a trail of mushrooms until it leads to a rather large pile of them that's currently being eaten by a kxhoo xehd.
Next to the kxhoo xehd eating copious amounts of mushrooms at a time, sits a man in a business suit with a regular sized carrot for a head in a rocking chair. He looks rather comfortable.
Fox trots on up to introduce himself, because he looks fun.
"Hi!" Fox says, continuing his trot until he is not. "I'm Star Fox! What's your name!"
The man in the business suit with a regular sized carrot for a head peacefully rocks back and forth in his rocking chair while peacefully twiddling his thumbs and saying nothing.
"Hey! Can you hear me?" Fox says, again, getting no response. "HEY!"
The kxhoo xehd looks up from her meal. "Xo sud'k xouh 0ei, 0ei bden. Xo xuj u suhhek veh u xout."
"What?" Fox says, looking at her dumbly. "Wait, hold on, I got this." He presses the comm unit button. "Slippy, did you get that?"
"I CAN'T HEAR WHAT'S GOING ON UNTIL YOU PRESS THE COMM UNIT BUTTON, FOX. OVER." Slippy says over the comm unit.
"Oh god, not you too." Fox sighs. "What's with you guys and this over thing?"
"IT'S FUN. PEPPY TAUGHT ME HOW ABOUT IT. I CALL IT PLAYING RADIO. OVER."
"Fine, okay. Can you ask the kxhoo xehd what she just said?"
"NO. NOT UNTIL YOU START SAYING OVER WHEN YOU'RE DONE TALKING." Slippy says. "OVER."
"I really don't want to do that," Fox says.
"I WANNA PLAY RADIO! I WANNA PLAY RADIO LIKE HOW PEPPY PLAYS RADIO! OVER!"
"Okay fine. Over." Fox says quickly, trying to rush through things like always. "Could you please ask the kxhoo xehd what she just said? Over."
"THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT," Slippy lets slip while shaking his head in disappointment. "YOU'RE NOT PLAYING RIGHT. OVER."
"What?"
"..."
"HHH," Fox seethes, facepawing. "Over."
"Uho 0ei kucbadw ke 0eih fudkj, jkhudwo edo?" The kxhoo xehd asks, concerned.
"Xo jiho aj! Xa! A'm fudkj! MUWAS fudkj!" Slippy says, excitedly. "Eloh!"
"What is she saying?" Fox demands. "What are you saying?! Over!"
"Ex m0, uho 0ei kne fcu0adw hutae? Xen vid!" she says, laughing. "Eloh!"
"No jiho uho! Hutae aj m0 vulehako wumo rosuijo A houcc0 cabo ak u cek! Eloh!" Slippy says! "She asked us if we were playing radio and I told her we were! And then I said it's my favorite game and I really like it a lot! Over!"
Fox rubs his temples, trying to remember what his father used to say about patience. He doesn't. "Can you please ask her what the first thing she said to me was? Over."
"Sure! Over! Nxuk'j kxo vahjk kxadw 0ei juat ke kxo shoukiho rcojjot odeiwx ke nouh A, muwas fudkj! Eloh!"
"Ex, xo nuj kucbadw ke DJ Quackers udt A nuj kh0adw ke kocc xam kxuk DJ Quackers ned'k ro urco ke idtohjkudt nxuk xo'j ju0adw," she explains. "Xo xuj u howicuh jaqot suhhek veh u xout, 0ei joo. Eloh!
"She says you were trying to talk to a man with a carrot for a head. How come you doing that? Over."
"He looked cool! I wanted to introduce myself. Over."
"Yeah, anyway, she says that he can't understand you. Because he has a carrot for a head. Over."
"Can you ask what language he WILL understand? Over?"
"Sure! Over! Nxuk cudwiuwo teoj kxo voccu nakx kxo suhhek idtohjkudt? M0 rouhoh neict cabo ke jfoub nakx xam! Eloh!"
"Xo teojd'k jfoub ud0 cudwiuwo. Xo xuj u suhhek veh u xout. Howicuh jaqot. Suhhekj ted'k k0fasucc0 xulo o0oj, dejoj eh meikxj. Uk coujk dek nxoho A semo vhem," she says, blinking blankly. "Kxeiwx A jiffejo no ted'k xulo muwas fudkj nxoho A semo vhem oakxoh, je A'm dek zitwadw 0eih sijkemj. Eloh.
"She says DJ Quackers doesn't speak any languages because his head is a carrot. Regular size. Did you think carrots could talk, Fox? Are you okay? Over."
Fox buries his face in his paws again and sighs, mortified. "Can you just ask her where to find Queen Earthwalker? Over."
"Sud 0ei kocc ij nxoho ke vadt Queen Earthwalker? Eloh."
"Queen Earthwalker? A'm Queen Earthwalker. Nxuk te 0ei doot? Eloh."
"She says she's Queen Earthwalker," Slippy tells him. "She wants to know what you need. Over."
"You gotta be kidding me."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Fox? Over."
"Yes, Slippy?"
"You stopped saying over. Over."
"Yeah," Fox says, staring at least a thousand yards beyond everything. "Yeah, I did."
"I don't want to play with you anymore," Slippy says. "Over and out."