The bow of the boat cut through the dark water before them, creating frothy white wakes as they slipped past, even in the darkness. Wylan forced himself to look out at the horizon again as his stomach turned. It didn't help much. He couldn't stop the constant replay in his head of…
"You alright up here?"
He spun, surprised by the voice. It wasn't because someone was there, it was a tiny ship with a lot of activity going on even in the dead of night. He was surprised by who the voice was attached to.
Immediately he felt flush and internally tamped down his annoyance. Would he ever be able to have a conversation with Jesper that didn't start with him blushing? Jesper leaned against the railing, sizing him up in his silence, and Wylan shoved his hands into his pockets to stop them from fidgeting in front of him.
"Sorry I was just," he trailed off. What was he exactly? Misplaced - even with thieves? Terrified he was about to die? Distressed that he was going to seize up the moment they needed to rely on him? Tormented by the glimmer of mischief in Jesper's eyes?
"Horrified?" Jesper guessed and let out a little laugh as he took a few steps toward him.
Right, he remembered. There was also Inej bleeding to death underneath them. There had just been so much blood. It had soaked through most of Kaz's clothes and Inej was so still and silent. He didn't even know how Kaz had managed to carry her all that way without his cane. The fact that Kaz had come back up to deal with Inej's attacker boded well for her recovery but...
"I just don't understand how that even...how do you even know to do that?"
Jesper nodded, sagely, and then closed the gap between them, sliding right up next to Wylan. Too close, actually. He could make out the faint smell of gun powder over all the sea salt. Jesper seemed to be picking over his words carefully, his fingers dancing on the railing.
"It's basically a parlor trick of his now."
Wylan's eyes popped open with disbelief, "I'm sorry?"
"You know he just showed up with Inej, right?" Jesper smiled. Wylan punched his hands further into his jacket pockets so he wouldn't be tempted to trace the shape of it with his fingers. "Just walks into the Crow Club with this Menagerie girl still all in her purple silks a half step behind him."
Wylan shook his head, so the plot thickens with those two. He would have never known that about her.
"Didn't even take a day before the Dregs started speculating what for. 'Course I knew. But it's not my business to be running my mouth...on important things." Jesper cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably next to him.
"She's important?"
"Come now," Jesper laughed, briefly touching his shoulder to Wylan's. The flush tried to burn him alive, he was glad for the darkness. "So this one Dreg - can't even remember his name now - says to Kaz one day, will we all get a go at your Suli slut or did you just buy her for yourself?"
Wylan felt himself recoil, mentally and physically. He might not have been in the company of Kaz Brekker for long but his reputation precedes him. And it wasn't just that. The vitriol in how Jesper had said that, remembered it, spoke volumes. There was no doubt in his mind why - she had saved them all. But Wylan also reasoned this may be why no one spoke about Inej around Kaz. They could only talk to her.
"His cane whipped around so fast it made this sound I never want to hear again. Shattered the idiot's face. His eyeball popped right out of the socket and Kaz," Jesper stopped for a moment swallowing hard his eyes distant in memory, "ripped it from its hanging string and dropped it in his beer."
"Saints," Wylan whispered.
Jesper turned to him then, face a bit sallow from memory, "he made him drink the whole beer. Blood dripping down his face, sobbing in front of everyone. His own eyeball bobbing in the foam. Kaz still killed him anyway. But no one ever spoke like that again. I doubt anyone even thought it. And it didn't take her very long at all to be deadlier than any of those bastards."
Wylan forced himself not to gag in front of Jesper. Grateful for the bobbing of the boat just in case so he could feign sea sickness. After a moment of silence between them, he couldn't stop himself from saying aloud,
"I just don't understand why he treats her so coldly when clearly he cares deeply for her."
"Oh Merchling," Jesper teased, the dark cloud of memory around him passing.
"Don't call me that," Wylan snapped.
"I bet," Jesper inched closer to him, their fingers touching, their shoulders pressed into each other as the wind from the bow made everything taste like salt and promise. "You've never wanted something you couldn't have."
"You'd be surprised," he carefully replied. In more than one way he'd spent his life wanting things he couldn't have. Including the half-smile and hair gently whipping in the wind next to him, and Jesper's rambling fingers finding their way under all these layers of clothes.
"Jesper." They both turned to see one of the men on board nod his head and say, "boss wants you."
"Duty calls," Jesper smiled at him making sure to press against him as he passed. Wylan forced himself to breathe and then turned to keep looking out at the horizon.