Chapter 3: Riku's Post-KH3 Fame
"Over here!" Pence yelled over the paparazzi, snapping pictures like a machine gun. "Lemme get your good side, Riku!"
Posing with his suped-up Keyblade, Braveheart or whatever, Riku muttered pompously, "These people act like they've never seen a dominant main character before. Sheesh…"
Also snapping pictures, Quasimodo requested, "Hey, is there any way you can look like less of a douchebag holding that oversized car key?"
"I'll see you after class, choir-boy," Riku deflected, yawning with his weapon on the shoulder. "Anyone else wanna try me?"
"You don't got us shook, Reeks!" said Beat from twewy. "We know you can't get too gangsta with that Key-stick, boi!"
"Oh, is that right? Nothing's stopping me from stomping your face without the 'Key-stick'."
Beat thought about it for a hot second. "Oh, snaps…you gots a point, yo."
A Moogle, armed with a bright blue microphone and a fluttering pair of wings, asked in an overtly eloquent voice, "Mr. Riku, do you have any words of encouragement for the younger audience of Kingdom Hearts?"
"Totally." Clearing his throat, Mr. Riku answered, "Shop Diesel."
After various cheers of approval, Sora walked by, a little peeved as he said, "Uh, hey—yeah, I'm a KH character, too."
"Mr. Riku," said Jack Skellington, a fellow journalist, "what are your thoughts on hooking up with Kairi in Kingdom Hearts IV and beyond?"
"Pretty sure that's not canon…" Sora muttered, expertly keeping his cool.
"Well, anything could happen…" Riku chuckled to himself. "It's like that assassin motto goes: 'Nothing is certain, everything is promiscuous'."
And then Merlin, bouncing around in his wizard pajamas, asked what everyone else was thinking, "What about Kingdom Hearts fanfictions? Do you think they're still valid even though Kingdom Hearts is basically a fanfiction itself?"
Smug as always, Riku replied, "Oh, those things should die out soon, like very soon. But, hey, when you think about it, life itself is one long fanfiction."
"I definitely said that exact same quote last weekend," Sora fact-checked.
"Oh, and shout out to Sora for coming up with—whoa, Sora! When did you get here?"
Deflating a bit, Sora responded, "Just now, actually. Took a long time because the data world is, uh…data, so—"
The Moogle reporter suddenly asked, "Mr. Sora! Any news of Roxas getting another spinoff?"
"Yeah, I don't know—maybe?" The series' protagonist was beginning to run low on patience.
"How about Winnie the Pooh? Can you shed some light on rumors of upcoming micro-transactions—?"
Just then, the paparazzi went wild as someone whizzed past them on a motorcycle.
"Who the heck was that?" Riku asked.
Squinting, Sora replied, "Pretty sure that was Cloud."
Riku said, "So? He's always hanging out around here."
Sora clarified, "His bike had a PS5 logo."
"Oh." Riku shrugged. "I guess this is what it feels like to be you."