Shadows Of A Fire
Part I
Satonaka huffed and with lively steps darted out of the rooftop, Amagi following closely with her cheeks still trembling from her contained laughter.
Rise sighed quickly after Yosuke managed to get back to his feet. "As I said, I'm not against the idea but maybe you should have asked us before."
Yosuke's eyes bulged and tailed her retreating silhouette as she made for the door. "Wait, does that mean you're going?" He seemed to jolt back to life and ran after her. "Please tell me you're going to that pageant!"
Kanji rubbed his own neck, noticed that only Naoto, he and I were still standing there, and flushed bright red. The memory of his little stunt a little earlier drew a smile on my face.
"So, you want to be made a man, Kanji?" I teased.
He somehow turned an even deeper shade of red.
"Not you too!"
"I'm kidding, man," I said with a chuckle an innocent raise of my hand.
He seemed to settle down, but he still stormed off after a quick glance towards Naoto. The poor girl looked as confused about our shenanigans as she had been a few minutes before; her eyebrows had disappeared under her bangs, and I could very well discern her wide-open eyes beneath her hat. This entire pageant episode probably didn't help her take us seriously…
To my surprise, she uttered a quick nervous laugh. The small smile she displayed then starkly contrasted with the look of utter panic we had witnessed when she'd realized she would have to pose in front of a horde of teenagers. Maybe she was growing accustomed to our antics? I didn't know whether that was a good sign or not. Probably good for us, bad for her… There was no going back from being a hopeless idiot, and I knew that all too much. Thankfully, she had quite the head start. And I would try as much as I could to keep her out of Teddie and Yosuke's grasp.
"What a strange development…" she finally said, crossing her arms. She lifted a finger to her chin.
I called her almost without thinking. "Say, Naoto…"
She seemed to snap out of her trance with a shake of her head and met my eyes. "Yes, Senpai?"
"I know everyone kinda looked excited about this…" I said while pointing to the door with my thumb.
She tilted her head to the side, her neutral expression transitioning to a more quizzical frown. "Even Yukiko-senpai, strangely. And yourself, if my memory serves me right."
A drop of sweat fell down my neck and I shuddered. She was looking way too innocent for me not to be in trouble.
"Yeah, talk about a surprise." I chuckled. "But you clearly are uncomfortable with it. Just want you to know you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I can talk to Kashiwagi."
Her traits softened slightly. "Senpai…"
No trouble then… But still. It didn't sit right with me.
I used my right hand to ruffle my own hair and raised my left to my hip. "You already helped us with the last-minute concert, I think you earned the right to bail out of this pageant you weren't even a part of in the first place. No one will bat an eye. Except maybe Kanji…"
Naoto threw a glance towards the door. "Tatsumi-kun behaves very differently with me, indeed… Today's… outburst? I don't know how to call it, except unexpected. I should talk to him someday. He looks like an interesting person. I'd like to get to know him."
I couldn't repress a soft smile from grazing my own lips.
"I think he'd like that too."
Naoto simply nodded.
"On the matter at hand, though…" She fiddled with her own fingers, her gaze cast downwards. "This is a new challenge for me. If the other girls go in, I have no right to do less."
My eyebrows arched up on their own. That was a new side of her I was discovering. Did she really understand what Yosuke had just done?
Maybe she just didn't fully visualize what was going to be asked of her, and everyone agreeing to it in the end wasn't making it obvious. She didn't have to agree just because the other girls did.
"It's not a competition, you know," I said.
"Isn't it?"
I blinked at her for a second before understanding what she meant.
"Well, it is but… Ugh, you get it," I blurted out with a roll of my eyes.
Naoto gently rubbed her own arm and lifted her glance back to me.
"I do. Don't worry about me, Senpai. I'm n-not that uncomfortable with the idea."
She tried to sound confident, but the way her hands wormed around her forearms was a dead giveaway. I hadn't known her for long still, but I had pretty much figured out a good majority of her tells already.
I fondly smiled at her.
"I know you never lie, Naoto. But what you're doing now is dangerously close."
Her eyes widened ever so slightly. "How can you tell?"
"Your hands are shaking. Your hat is down. Your cheeks are bright red. You don't look me in the eye. You know. Subtle things. Detective."
She broke eye contact once again. She now looked a bit too interested in the tip of her shoes.
"Do you…" She squirmed on her spot. "Do you not want me to participate?"
I didn't think I'd ever get to witness something reaching those levels of cuteness without Nanako being even remotely involved. Heat flashed inside my cheeks too quickly for me to react. The moment passed and I managed to force down that flush on my face, but the confusion remained.
"What kind of—Wha—I mean—That's not—" I coughed in my closed fist and tried to look half-serious. She needed me to support her, whatever her decision was. "Let's say it this way. I'm not against it unless you are."
Naoto drew a blank stare for a few seconds then earnestly beamed at me, and a weight settled atop my stomach, scorching and freezing. The two sensations battled inside, vying for the full attention of my own thoughts. A new feeling, just like the one I had discovered a few weeks before, at the exact same location and with the exact same person, and one I still had trouble pinpointing.
I mustered every bit of composure I could force out of my uncharacteristically thunderous mind. What was happening to me?
"I should be fine," she explained, her voice as steady as a liana bridge under a tropical storm. "I have to get used to everyone seeing me as…not a man. Let's call it a shock treatment. As long as they don't ask me to denude."
That would be very unfortunate. But hopefully, we wouldn't have to plan around such an eventuality.
"I think we're safe on that side. Probably," I said.
Nobody would ask high school girls to get naked, right? Maybe Teddie would, but there's no way anyone would listen to him anyway.
I examined her once more, focusing on her rosy cheeks. If she wasn't against it, who was I to deny her anything? Even then… I grew surprised at myself for not wanting her to be showcased in front of everyone. Or in front of anyone for that matter. But she was mature enough to decide for herself.
I sighed. "As you wish, Naoto. But please tell me if you ever feel like you're not that excited about it, okay?"
She smiled again and nodded.
A part of me was amazed at the strength of her will to face what would probably be one of the most terrifying experiences one could think of for someone in Naoto's situation… But she was still determined to meet it head-on, and eventually even conquer it. There was nothing to feel about it but immense respect.
I started to walk towards the door, sensing that our conversation had reached a satisfying end. I was also curious to see if the still raging firestorm inside my chest would disappear.
Her shy voice reached my ears a few moments before I could turn the handle.
"There was something I wanted to talk to you about, Senpai. I must seize the opportunity while everyone else is downstairs."
I spun back toward her in genuine curiosity. She didn't look as mortified as before, but she still wouldn't let her eyes peek over the hem of her hat.
There was something important on her mind. Something else.
I got back to her side, sat down, and gestured to the empty spot right next to me, which she occupied shortly.
"You're making a habit of monopolizing me on the roof. If you're not careful, people might start talking…"
"W-what would they say?"
I didn't even have to look at her to guess what expression she was now displaying. I crossed my arms.
"That the lone Detective Prince found herself a devilishly debonair partner," I continued, making sure to make my tone as obviously teasing as possible.
"Devilishly debonair? I did not associate such a vocabulary with you, Senpai."
My head snapped to her in reflex as I still processed her sentence. She looked incredulous, but I couldn't detect any trace of sarcasm. She was honestly surprised, but I could play off that just as well.
"Are you calling me dumb or are you calling me ugly, Shirogane?"
She gaped at me in shock—she had probably just realized what she had said—and vehemently shook her head.
"No, never! I respect you too much for that! I was merely referring to—oh, I see," she narrowed her eyes at my very intentionally taunting half-smirk. "The war just entered its attrition phase, is that it? I see you always pick the most opportune of times."
She had me all figured out. I had to see if she could keep up the momentum.
"You saw me fight with swords but take out that first 's' and I still know my way around those."
Naoto mirrored my smug grin.
"I'm more of a gunnery woman, to be honest. I'll let you have this one and come back full force next time."
"My lines are waiting." We chuckled together at that. I let my expression soften into a more understanding smile. "What is it you want to talk about?"
She shuffled inside her jacket's pocket and produced a small rectangular envelope. "This card…"
I remembered the letter she had received from the Phantom Thief.
"Oh. The duel challenge?"
She quietly laughed with two fingers pressed against her full lips, drawing my eyes to them before I consciously snapped back to the folded paper in her other hand, an electrical pulse rising again inside me without my consent.
"I quite like this old-fashioned side I'm uncovering, Senpai. I half-expect you to show up to school with one of those old British canes tomorrow."
"If only I could afford one…"
"It would only add to the debonair."
I lifted a single eyebrow.
"You're playing your cards too early, Shirogane. Now, while we're talking about cards…"
She regained a more serious demeanor.
"Yes, this Phantom Thief sent me another. Would you care to join me after class? I'd like to examine it more thoroughly."
"So, you do want my help with the case?"
She went back to a bashful smile that disappeared under her hat.
"I'm still unsure of how to react to you worrying about me, but I realized I… enjoyed our collaboration on the last missive."
"You did the heavy lifting though."
"Your insight helped a lot more than you think. I'm only as effective as what I'm given to work with is logical, and you are the b—"
"Wait." I pressed a hand to my chest in mock pride. "Are you about to call me the best? I think my heart will not be able to handle it."
She chuckled but dismissed my remark.
"I would like to work together on this case, Senpai. If that's okay with you."
I breathed a longing sigh. I had found the prospect of that investigation quite enticing.
"Alright, associate," I said, and she answered with a grateful grin. I then gently pushed down the hem of her hat and I couldn't even tell why I took the habit of doing that. "We accepted a challenge. The case isn't gonna solve itself through intense concrete-watching. Let's meet up after school." I stood up and buried my—oddly, trembling—hands inside my pockets. "And Naoto…"
"Hmm?"
What was I doing?
I couldn't say it. I shouldn't. It was a bad idea. But not for her. Mostly for me.
"I do want to see you in that pageant. I'm sure you'll do fantastic."
Why did I have to say that?
She simply watched me aghast for a second, then her face split into the brightest grin I had seen on her thus far.
"I'll try." She sprang to her feet as well, her steps still poised but a tiny bit bouncier than I thought possible for Detective Naoto Shirogane. "In front of the gate, as always? I'll be waiting for you, Senpai."
She kept her glittering eyes on me until she reached the door, gave a warm smile one last time, and disappeared down the stairs.
That last image of Naoto's beautiful smile stuck with me for longer than I was willing to admit. A heartbeat and a lifetime later, as I stood there alone, slowly, ever so slowly, almost painfully, I began to grasp what was happening to me. I grew dizzy at the thought, at the sheer audacity. It hadn't even grazed my spirit before, but now it was washing over me like a tidal wave.
It was strange. It was a bad idea. For me, certainly. Probably for her, too. She was still sorting through her own feelings, coming to terms with who she was, what the hell was wrong with me? And even for Kanji… I couldn't even begin to imagine how I was throwing my own world into chaos.
I finally released the breath I had been holding this whole time, the tension I had built up all the while not easing away from my shoulders or neck in the slightest.
I tried to push the idea down, to play it off as the sun repeatedly throwing my head for a loop, but the strange sensation still lingered, as hot and fiery as before. It wasn't roaring, but sparks could ignite a larger brasier.
"Oh, no."
I had two takeaways.
One: I was in trouble.
Two: I somehow wasn't bothered by it as much as I should have been.
Part II
I opened the shoji in front of us and let Nanako step inside. The Amagi Inn's rooms were a cozy mesh of traditional tapestry and modern technology and thankfully were heated enough for us both to escape the hallway's relative chill.
The cold wouldn't have been a problem, normally. But we had just exited a hot bath—the contrast was more of an issue than the absolute temperature itself.
"Ah, it's all warm in here," Nanako said as cheerfully as she could, considering.
If she hadn't been so tired, I could easily picture the little girl skipping around the room in glee.
I smiled at the calm joy that shone through her—albeit small—smile. I hadn't known her very long, but I could easily understand the fondly tender expression Senpai always displayed whenever she was around. I quickly realized I was probably looking like that myself, and I made no effort to hold it back.
Nanako's optimism was contagious.
"It is," I said. "Do you want me to help you set your futon up?"
"Yes, please! We can do it for the other girls too, right?"
I chuckled. "Okay, we can do that."
Rise-san, Amagi-senpai, and Satonaka-senpai were still downstairs.
Laying the cushioned mattress on the floor took a few minutes. Afterward, Nanako sat quietly at my side, her legs neatly tucked underneath her in a polite posture she was struggling to maintain as she swayed ever so slightly from left to right. She was exhausted. The day's uninterrupted jogs left and right during the school festival and once we'd come to the inn had tired her out. The relaxing bath we'd taken had probably been the last nail in her energy's coffin.
"Did you like your time in the bath?" I eventually asked.
She immediately erupted in quiet giggles. "It was nice! I had tons of fun. Even when they tried to sneak in and peep on us. You got them good!" she said, her shining eyes fighting the weight of her eyelids.
"Uh, yeah…"
That had been a strange experience. The boys had obviously not been at fault, but the memory still drove shudders up my back. I hoped he hadn't seen anything…
And Nanako apparently had the same person in mind.
"I had never seen Big Bro so surprised!" she chirped happily.
I knew Senpai was a hard man to surprise, but that fact still confused me somewhat. They lived together, surely there's been at least one instance of him being in a situation he wasn't expecting.
"Even when you spend a lot of time with him?" I asked.
She lifted a tentative finger to her chin and gazed at the roof in silent thinking. "I usually only spend time with him on the evening and in the morning. I like it when he comes home though! We always watch Neo Featherman together."
Those words both melted and clenched my heart. Poor Nanako had had a hard time few children her age would ever face. Senpai entering her life had probably been an immense relief. No wonder he was so protective of her.
I imagined Senpai and Nanako intensely focused on their TV show, sharing into the excitement provided by the Featherman heroes. I knew for a fact that Senpai wasn't the biggest fan of those colored rangers—apparently, some unfortunate adventure throughout summer vacation had desensitized him to their struggles—but he evidently still made the effort to watch the show, for Nanako's sake.
I couldn't hold back a fond smile. I wasn't even surprised anymore. That was classic Senpai.
My heart fluttered again. It was a new habit of mine, apparently. One I didn't bother to notice or repress anymore.
"You love him a lot, right?" I asked.
"Tons!"
I was once again pulled into the trail of her enthusiasm. "He talks a lot about you, you know?"
Her eyes turned into gigantic saucers. Anyone who'd ever talked to Senpai would immediately get an earful about her, and how proud of her he was.
"Really?!"
"Yes. It looks like he loves you tons as well."
She grinned. "He says he loves you too."
My heart stopped. Then started pounding wildly against my chest, unrelenting and undying, while my mind tried to process the few words Nanako had just said. A frigid cold rose to the top of my head.
"Huh…?"
Senpai loved… who?
"He loves you all!" Nanako added with a smile.
The thumping gradually calmed down as I understood her words, and I repressed the urge to smack my forehead. Of course, she had meant that. What else could she have meant?
I released a breath and my shoulders sagged lower in relief. Relief… It was relief, right? What else could it be?
…Despite the pit in my stomach, it had to be relief.
"I'm glad he has good friends like you," Nanako continued absent-mindedly. "He was very lonely when he came."
She finally slipped under her blanket and smiled one last time before bed. "Good night!"
I answered in turn and let her rest at last. I spent the next minutes pondering our exchange, and perhaps most importantly, my reaction to it.
For the last few weeks, any mention of Senpai would send me into high alert, any discussion we'd have would set my limbs on fire, any fleeting glance he'd throw in my direction would make my cheeks fume.
This wasn't anything I'd ever felt before. I had wondered for a while whether to ask Yakushiji-san or even Grampa about it but decided against it. This turmoil would have to wait until the case of the Phantom Thief wasn't in full swing; they both had other things to worry about, and so did I.
The sound of the shoji opening drew me out of my own mind.
Satonaka-senpai, Amagi-senpai, and Rise-san stood in the embrasure, wearing their towels.
"Oh hey, Naoto-kun. Still awake?" Amagi-senpai asked.
I pivoted on my knees and bowed to greet them.
"Yes. I was just tucking Nanako-chan to bed," I explained in a murmur while gesturing towards the sleeping child at my side.
The girls all knelt close and simultaneously cooed at her.
"Aww, she's so precious," Rise-san whispered.
"That's a good Big Sis," Satonaka-senpai praised me innocently.
For the second time that evening, heat rushed to my face at the implication of her sentence. I leveled wide eyes at her. If I was a Big Sister, and he was a Big Brother, the implication was clear!
To insinuate… marriage at our age. It was preposterous!
"I mean—I w-wouldn't presume—T-that w-would be—"
Both Senpais looked confused.
"What's up with the blush?" Rise-san said in a sly tone. She scooted closer to me. "This is the first time I've seen you this embarrassed, Naoto-kun… Oh actually, scratch that. Second time. You were adorable during the pageant."
I flushed even more at the mention of the beauty contest. I had sorely regretted not taking up Senpai on his offer after all. I hadn't been able to show myself in such revealing outfits.
"That was…an interesting turn of events," Satonaka-senpai said. "Congratulations on your win by the way, Naoto!"
I mumbled a feeble thank you and very intently watched my lap, waiting for my cheeks to return to their usual color and temperature.
Rise-san didn't relent and sneakily slid even closer to me. "So, so, so. I'm not about to pretend that blush never happened."
I tried to deflect her the best I could. When Rise-san's train started marching, it always was nigh-unstoppable.
"I fail to see what you're talking about."
A very weak attempt on my part, all things considered.
"She says with cheeks red enough to feel hot from where I am. I'm sure we could still see your face even if we killed the lights,'" Rise-san said, her eyes narrowed playfully. She didn't leave me enough time to defend myself further. "I don't know about you girls, but looks like Naoto has something to tell us…"
I started frantically waving my hands but kept my voice low. "I assure you, there's nothing noteworthy—!"
"Now that you mention it," Satonaka-senpai interrupted with a pensive look. "She does look a bit less composed than usual."
The girls formed a circle around me. It seemed I had no say in the matter anymore.
"It's a boy, isn't it? It has to be," Amagi-senpai stated matter-of-factly, but the glitter in her eyes failed to mask her curiosity.
"This is getting way too interesting!" Rise-san asked in giddy excitement. She didn't wait for me to answer. "Who is it?"
I shook my head. They weren't going to let it go unless I gave them another bone to chew. And perhaps soliciting the opinion of my friends would be a good alternative to asking my Grampa? They were women too, they could surely give pointers as to what was happening to me.
"I'm…" I started, unsure of whether to continue. I steeled myself and breathed in. It would have to be done eventually. "I'm not certain of what it is, but I would like to consult you if that's okay."
The girls' mouths gaped open, they shared a quick glance and a determined nod, then turned back to me, their expressions softening into genuinely understanding smiles.
Even before they said anything, I knew I'd made the right choice, and a warmth spread across my body. Someone was finally going to listen.
"Okay, let's hear you out."
I spent the next minutes explaining the strange phenomenon I had been a subject of, while carefully avoiding the unnecessary details. I described the strange heat, the pit in my stomach, the inability to think properly. How my words would catch up in my throat, how I wouldn't find them as easily as usual.
I intentionally omitted the strange daze during our band practice, the relief I felt when he mentioned wanting to see me at the pageant, and the joy I'd get from working with him on the Phantom Thief's case; I feared those would be a bit too specific.
As soon as I completed my tale, Rise-san crossed her arms and nodded. "Yup, I have a pretty clear sense of what you're going through."
Satonaka-senpai and Amagi-senpai nodded at her words, eyes closed.
"You do?" I blurted out too quickly for it to not be suspicious.
"Do you mind… Do you mind telling us who you felt all this with, Naoto-kun?" Amagi-senpai gently asked.
I drew a blank at her question, not able to decide one way or another. They had already deduced that someone else was involved. I simply stared at my hands, folded over my knees, and stayed silent.
"It's okay," Amagi-senpai added hurriedly when she noticed my unease. "I was just curious. You don't have to tell us."
I nodded appreciatively and turned back to Rise-san, who still looked deep in thought.
"So… Are you familiar with my predicament?" I asked, my voice small and even shyer than usual.
"We all agree that she pretty much has a crush on whoever that is, right?" Satonaka-senpai said as if she was just stating the obvious.
The word crush crashed against me harder than I ever thought it could have.
It sounded so childish. So patronizing. So unnerving. So… accurate.
To my surprise, Rise-san shook her head. "Nuh-uh. I'd bet you've already felt drawn to this person; you're obviously attracted to them. But what you're describing sounds a bit deeper than just a crush."
She closed the distance between us, put a finger just over my heart, and mimicked firing a gun with a playful wink.
"I think you, little miss, are in love."
And my world was turned upside down.
A/N: Sorry for the delay! IRL caught up to me in the worst way possible.
On this chapter: Poor Naoto.
First that pageant and now this? The girls aren't dumb, they saw right through her act. Perhaps more than they let on...
Also poor Yu. He's usually so composed. Usually.
Next chapter, things are going to get serious. If you noticed the placement of this chapter on the calendar, the next events are those of November. Drama, drama.
As always, whatever you want to share with me is very welcome!
See you next time!
Peace,
CalAm.