Hey guys,

Here is the third chapter,

I see the view count grow up everyday and it really warms my heart! Thank you all sweeties!

Love,

Guillo

I was so focused on what I was writing that I didn't notice that Bender was looking at me until I saw his hand coming in close to mine.

"What's this thing?" He asked, trying to grab my notebook.

"DON'T TOUCH THIS!" I nearly yelled, getting it to safety, out of his reach.

He looked at me in surprise for a moment before he settled on just raising an eyebrow and setting back on his chair. Everyone was staring at me. I could feel Brian's worry from here and forced myself to take a deep breath before putting my notebook back on the table carefully. Yet, I still had it in an iron grip.

It wasn't anything special. It looked like any notebook.

The cover was brown leather with a brown tie around it. Most of the pages were folded under the strength I used to write on them. But it helps me gain control of my thoughts. I don't have rules for my notebook. I write whatever I want, however I want. If I want to write upside down, backwards, across the page. I don't care, it's MY brain. I never leave the house without it and I take it everywhere. I forgot it once at Brian's house, I ran in the night to get it back. It was 3 a.m.

"Why? Afraid I will discover your dirty little secrets Miss Perfect?" he asked sarcastically

"Something like that." I answered looking at him straight in the eyes, my voice barely above the level of a whisper.

Please, stop asking me.

I could feel my hands start shaking and I tried to plead him with my eyes to let me be especially since I could feel everybody's eyes on me. He nodded once and started to tease the princess and the athlete to my biggest joy. I could breathe but my mind kept going around in circles, I was reading what I wrote.

What am I supposed to do? I don't get it… I'm stuck reading those words over and over again when I should write or try to understand what is happening to me or around me. I don't get it.

It doesn't make any sense. I like it.

"GO TO HELL!" "ENOUGH!" I jumped as the preps yelled at Bender making him chuckle under his breath.

He put his hand on mine when he saw me jump.

"HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON?" We heard Vernon scream from his office.

I hold my breath and release it when I realized he wasn't going to come.

Bender got up, put a strand of hair that was blocking my face behind my ear and went to sit on the rail. I blushed. What just happened?

"What do you say we close that door? We can't have any kind of party without Vernon checking on us every second." He told us.

"You know, the door's supposed to stay open…" intervened Brian

"So?" the criminal replied with a raised eyebrow.

"So why don't you shut up? There's four five other people in there, you know?" Sporto snapped.

"You can count!" Bender exclaimed sarcastically "See? I knew you had to be smart to be a wrestler."

"Who the hell are you to be judging anybody anyway?" He demanded.

"Really." Added snob girl. Is that all she has to say?

"You know Bender" started Sport man "You don't even count. If you disappeared forever, it wouldn't make any difference. You may as well not even exist in this school." He finished spitefully.

Before I could even think, my mouth opened itself.

"Hey, Big Guy, what difference would it make if YOU disappeared? Or her?" I asked nodding towards Princess "I'll tell you the answer: Not a fucking thing. Your friends would continue to go on as they were before, the school would still participate in stupid and meaningless wrestling match, prom would still be up and about and I can assure you, we would all be fine so stop acting like you're the eighth wonder of the world and start thinking before you speak. It will make you seem like less of a douche." I finished before I got my book out to avoid their glances and glares.

I heard Brian sputter next to me, but I ignored it. I said my piece, I'm not going to get involved anymore so I just raised an eyebrow at him, trying to look much more confident than I actually felt. Sporto was glaring at me and he opened his mouth to, no doubt, yell at me.

"Well, I'll run right out and join the wrestling team!" Bender announced loudly.

That comment made the both of them laugh but I looked at Bender gratefully. Even though that felt good, I never liked the aftermath of such bursts. Bender winked back at me and continued.

"Or maybe the Student Council"

"They wouldn't take you." Sporto said.

"I'm hurt." Bender replied with fake sadness

"You know why guys like you knock everything?" asked the redhead

Oh, keep going Princess, everybody's very interested in what you have to say.

"This should be stunning." Commented Bender

Agreed.

"It's because you're afraid." She told him as if she was revealing great wisdom.

I groaned.

How can a single person be so fucking cliché?

"You, richies, are so smart! That's exactly why I'm not heavy in activities!" exclaimed Bender with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"You're a big coward." She added

Come on. Stop talking please, you're embarrassing yourself!

"I'm in the math club" mumbled Brian.

I snapped my head towards him and gave him a look that, I hope, said: "shut up, you doofus"! He didn't even notice it.

"See you're afraid that they won't take you. You don't belong so you just have to dump all over it..." Princess continued without so much of a glance at Brian.

"Well wouldn't have anything to do with you, activities people, being assholes, now would it?" Bender questioned

"Well, you wouldn't know, you don't know any of us." She responded.

Nose still buried in my book, I whispered without thinking

"Because, you sure do know us very well. What's his name?"

Again, I froze as soon as I said it. I hoped I said it so no one could hear but no such luck since they all heard. Princess glared at me but didn't say anything, Bender was looking at me, very amused by my question. I blushed and turned to Brian who was looking at me in astonishment. I shrugged, uncomfortable. I don't know why I keep speaking up. I usually stay quiet, unless someone attacks me or my friends. I know I can be witty and sarcastic, but I don't usually speak this way with strangers. Those two just rubbed my feathers. They must think I'm such a dork, not trying to shut up, Bender must think of me as such a freak…

"Well, I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not going to go out and join one of their fucking clubs." Bender said, taking the attention back to him. "And by the way Blondie." He called to me before winking "The name's John."

I smiled softly at him and nodded.

John, it's fitting.

"I'm in the physics club." Said the nerd a little louder, not wanting to be left out.

"Excuse me a sec… What are you babbling about?" John asked, turning to him.

I put my head in my hands and sighed quietly, I don't like watching car crashes.

"Well, what I said was that I'm in the math club; latin club and the physics club." Brian responded.

"Hey, Cherry." John called "Do you belong in the physics club?"

"That's an academic club." The princess retorted.

"So?"

"So, academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs." She explained

"Ah, but to dorks like him, they are."

I glared at Bender at that. I may call Brian a nerd but it's always in a teasing way. Never a mean way. I don't like how people pick on my sweet Brian.

Bender saw my glare and looked at me, questions in his eyes but kept on going anyway.

"What do you do in your clubs?" he questioned

"Well, in physics clubs, we, uh, talk about physics, properties of physics…"

Please Brian, stop talking!

I wrote before using my pen to make a bun.

"So, it's social. Demented and sad. But social" Concluded Bender

"I guess you could consider it a social situation. Uh, there are other children in my club and uh, at the end of the year, we have this big banquet at the Hilton, we can even bring someone." Brian explained

I groaned remembering last year's banquet.

I was Brian's plus one as his only female friend. That was borderline depressing. Even for Brian. Everyone kept asking us if we were a couple when just… no… that's just wrong. It would be like dating Anthony. We ended up trying to throw olives in his teacher's wife stupid hat.

"You load up, you party?" the criminal demanded.

"No, we get dressed up… but we don't get high."

At this, I just decided to tune everything out.

I got lost in my book. In Alice's travels through Wonderland. In her meeting with an invisible cat, with a mad hatter… I wish I was Alice. I wish I could discover another universe. I wish I could go around nonsense since I feel more comfortable in it…

I "woke up" with Bender's voice

"Oh, and wouldn't that be a bite us? Missing a whole wrestling meet!" John exclaimed.

"Well, you wouldn't know anything about it, faggot! You…" tried to respond Sporto

"Hey!" I interrupted forcefully, glaring at him.

He looked at me unimpressed and I saw Brian trying to get my attention from the corner of my eyes, but I didn't pay him any mind. I know he was trying to calm me down, but the big-headed pig pissed me off

"Call him whatever you want, any names you want around me. Except this one" I told him coldly.

"Why?" he asked smirking "You're a lesbo?"

I rolled my eyes at him

"No. I just believe in what we're taught in church: "love each other" and all that shit? Yeah, I actually believe in that and I also believe that gay people should be able to love whoever the fuck they want to love." I finished calmly before picking up my book, trying to resume my reading.

"I get it. You're a closeted lesbo?"

This time, I laughed, loudly. That guy really had to get his head out of his own ass.

"Again, I'm not but, whatever helps you sleep at night buddy."

I resumed reading after that, but I felt his stare. I blushed and my hands started shaking. He must think I'm such a freak, he must stare because I'm disgusting. I put my arm around my stomach, trying to hide it, ashamed. Old habits die hard.

I recently learned how to fight for what I believe in. But the thing is, sometimes, it's not easy to say what I think. Most of the time, I'm ashamed of what I think. And I know my ideals aren't as conventional as everyone else, but I won't change my mind on some subjects, this being one of them.

"Anyway, why would you talk about that?" asked Sporto to John, obviously wanting to forget about me. "You never competed in your whole life!"

"Oh, I know… I feel all empty inside because of it. I have such a deep admiration for guys that roll around on the floor with other guys." John retorted with sarcasm and mock hurt.

Ok, so they didn't listen to me.

"Ah… you'd never miss it. You don't have any goals!"

"Oh, but I do!" John exclaimed. "I want to be just. Like. You!" he added "I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights!" he finished sarcastically.

Brian smirked and leaned towards the athlete. "You wear tights?

"No, I don't wear tights! I wear required uniform!" he replied angrily.

"Tights" Brian and I said at the same time, smirking at each other once we realized it.

"Look who's learning how to make a decent joke!" I said, smiling at him.

"Learned from the best… Lucas is a great teacher." He finished smiling.

At that, I took Bender's pencil and threw it at him as he laughed. I stuck my tongue out to him. The others were looking at us like we had grown another head, I flushed and buried my head in my book. Brian snorted at my reaction, jerk.

Next cahpter next week! Don't hesitate to read and review!