Task 1: The Three Ed Boys Grunt

Chapter 3

It had been around a half hour since the boys had split up in an attempt to cover more ground in search of the lost Julio and the source of the rodent problem. Despite the apparent lack of a plan or proper communication channels, the boys had managed find themselves in separate areas, conducting exploration in a manner conforming with their unique personalities.

Double Dee had found himself in a small tunnel, one of many smaller arteries branching off of the main drainage tunnel. This particular tunnel was much simpler, and appeared to be an access passage for municipal gas workers. It's arched, brick structure was lined with what appeared to be miles of gas lines, providing fossil fuel to all of the houses in the neighborhood.

The intelligent boy moved slowly and deliberately, panning his flashlight back and forth to ensure that he was not treading unstable ground. As he did so, he began quietly voicing his thoughts to himself.

"Oh dear, the inevitable battle between moral conscience and better judgement," said Double Dee, "Traveling into an area full of filth and unsanitary fungi, a classic Eddy McGee idea. However, I suppose this time around I can forgive myself for taking part, as it is for a great cause."

At that moment, Double Dee was startled by a sudden burst of movement. A few mice happened to be munching on an old bag of tortilla chips a few feet in front of him and, upon being exposed to his flashlight, scattered in varying directions, taking refuge in the nooks and crannies of the tunnels.

Double Dee sighed.

"Words simply cannot describe the amplitude of my desire for a relaxing shower," said Double Dee, "The sooner we locate Julio, the better."

At the conclusion of his statement, the sound of splashing filled the air from behind the slim boy; a sound characteristic of a human dashing through a puddle of shallow water. Startled, Double Dee whipped around, aiming his flashlight into the darkness of the tunnel; to his surprise, the boy saw nothing out of the ordinary.

"Hello!?" asked Double Dee, "Is anyone there?"

Double Dee paused for a few seconds, awaiting a response to his inquiry. The tunnels remained silent, sans the faint ambient sound of dripping water, at which point Double Dee decided to turn around and continue on his way.

However, the boy had barely taken two steps when another strange noise echoed through the tunnels. This particular sound seemed to come from no particular direction and was much different than the previous one; it was reminiscent of a person, straining as if under an intense amount of pain in an intermittent, high pitched timbre. The sound lasted all but five seconds, disappearing nearly as soon as it arrived.

In response, Double Dee whipped around once again, intently scanning the dark tunnel with his flashlight . A few moments passed, at which point Double Dee adopted a sardonic expression.

"Ha, ha, very funny," said Double Dee, "Try as you may, you simply cannot fool me with your childish games, Ed, Eddy or Kevin, whomever that may be."

At the conclusion of his statement, Double Dee turned once again to proceed his the task at hand. However, he was stopped once again, not by a sound, but by the presence of an unfamiliar figure standing before him. Upon laying eyes on the tall, shadowy figure, Double Dee instinctually let out a small yelp, jumping backward as he did so; at the same time, he trained his flashlight forward, illuminating the subject in question.

Double Dee's eyes widened with surprise and curiosity as he laid eyes on the subject; a male of above average height, and thin in build, to the point of being emaciated. His skin was extremely pale, in fact almost pure white, and covered in prominent red varicose veins. His grey hair was parted on the side, sitting comfortably above the prominent unibrow gracing his yellow, apparently jaundiced eyes, and long hook shaped nose. His wardrobe was, for the lack of a better term, simplistic, consisting of a pair of green shorts accented with vertical yellow stripes; and a pair of black and white wingtip shoes. The individual appeared to be in a perpetual state of distress; his wide eyes remained fixated forward, as he continuously bit his bottom lip with his front teeth, emitting a high pitched whine as he did so.

"My goodness!" yelled Double Dee, "I must apologize for my abrupt reaction, but I was certainly not expecting to meet another human down in these tunnels...well, aside from my compatriots of course."

Double Dee paused, at which point he decided to pose a question.

"You wouldn't by any chance be, or know, a Julio Munoz, would you sir?" asked Double Dee.

The individual did not respond verbally, rather he proceeded to shake his head side to side in a violent manner. As he continued to bite his bottom lip, Double Dee adopted an expression of concern.

"My word, sir, you appear to be in a state of severe malnutrition!" said Double Dee as he removed his medical kit from his jumpsuit, "You're skin is paler than I have ever seen, and forgive me for being blunt but, judging by the color of your eyes, your liver is extreme danger of complete failure!"

As Double Dee continued his lecture, the man's eyes were drawn over Double Dee's shoulder. A shadow appeared on the far wall, generated by an individual navigating the cross tunnel. The silhouette was humanoid in shape, with a pompadour hairstyle and a heavily exaggerated hunchback.

After making its appearance known, the shadow dashed out of view, it's mysterious owner traveling deeper into the tunnels. This action attracted the full attention of the man being tended to by Double Dee. Wasting no time, the "malnourished" individual adopted a smile, and proceeded to dash in the direction of the shadow, uttering a single word in a high pitched, manner: "Perry"

Double Dee, somewhat shocked by the individuals sudden departure, remained momentarily still. He soon shook off his feelings of shock, at which point he decided to give chased, adopting his trademark jogging stance (fists to his chest, and elbows flared out to the sides."

"Wait, sir!" yelled Double Dee as he rounded the corner, "Come back! You are in desperate need of medical attention!"

Elsewhere, deeper in the tunnels, the sound of rushing water echoed through the arched shaped passage, generated by the speedy flow of the sewers main water channel. Within the murky water, a few bubbles began to form, emanating from below the surface. This was soon followed by the emergence of the top half of Ed's head, his buzz cut still covered by an old timberland boot. The tall Ed boy remained submerged, his eyes being the only part of his body above water, scanning his surroundings as if he were a submarine at periscope depth.

After a few seconds, Ed slowly submerged once again, only to suddenly shoot out of the water like a cork.

"BWAHH!" yelled Ed, "I am the Kraken! All you lowly pirates fear my wrath!"

Ed splashed the water with his palms, after which he fell onto his back, floating in the gentle current as he giggled in an oafish manner. After a few seconds of floating, Ed took note of several pieces of debris floating alongside him in the muk; a product of litterbugs disposing of junk in an in appropriate manner. This junk consisted of old tires, potato chip bags, old soggy newspapers, and magazines.

Naturally, the curious and absent-minded Ed began to retrieve and inspect each piece of junk as it drifted past in an assembly line-like fashion. Items investigated included: a used hubcap (placed into his jacket pocket for safe keeping...for some reason), an old comic book page, (which he attempted to read, prior to it disintegrating in his hand), a partially cracked kazoo (which he attempted to play before tossing it), and finally an old magazine of indeterminate content. Upon being opened, a rather large sheet unfolded from within, causing Ed to blush, slam the magazine shut, and toss it away.

"So that's what that looks like?" asked Ed in an innocent and absent minded manner. He then turned his attention downstream, at which point he spotted a new item: a grey toupee.

Ed giggled dopily as he took hold of the toupee, and proceeded to pull it upward; however, upon doing so, he received the unexpected surprise. The "toupee" in question was, in fact, the top portion of an individual's hair; another swimmer who had (for whatever reason) decided to submerse themselves in the sewer water.

Ed adopted a blank stare as he held the retained his grip on the entities hair, his body dangling as if it were a plucked vegetable in a cartoonish fashion. The person was extremely similar to the man previously encountered by Double Dee, complete with pale skin tone, prominent veins, and bulging yellow eyes; however, there were some difference between the two. This man lacked a unibrow, and donned a pair of maroon shorts decorated with orange vertical stripes in place of green. His build was slightly more muscular than the previous man; in addition, instead of constantly biting his bottom lip, this man merely smiled with a wide toothy grin.

A few seconds passed, at which point the absent minded Ed decided to finally release his grip.

"Hiya!" said Ed in an absent-minded manner, "My name is Ed, what's yours?"

In lieu of words, the man elected to respond with a series of short grunts; somehow, someway Ed was able to interpret his words, and respond.

"Dean?" asked Ed, "Cool, like Dean Koontz!"

Dean responded with another serious of Grunts.

"Eh, I don't know what a Perry is, but I do have some of my gravy cakes I've been saving," said Ed as he reached into his jacket pocket, and removed a soggy piece of cake from within, "Want a piece?"

Dean wasted no time, licking his lips as he snatched the cake out of Ed's hand. He proceeded to gobble it up in one bite, licking the remainder off of his fingers. Once finished, Dean reached into his shorts, speaking gibberish once again as he did so.

"Cheese?" asked Ed in response to Deans "question", "Sure I love cheese! Could I have some to take home to my girlfriend too? She loves cheese!"

Dean nodded his head up and down rapidly as he removed a large pile of cheese from the hammer space within his shorts. After a quick "ooooh" from Ed, the two fast friends proceeded to go to town on the ten foot stack of exotic cheeses, both eating as if they had never eaten before.