(At Principal Huggins' home office, he's on a Zoom meeting with the parents including Lori Loud.)

Principal Huggins: All right., welcome, parents, to this all-school town meeting to talk about how we're gonna get your kids back into the classroom. Can everyone hear me well? [parents all replying] Okay, well, parents, we've made some amazing adjustments and hirings, all right? We believe we can welcome students back on Monday. All right?

Mrs. Zhau: How are you going to do this?

Jordan's Father: Yeah, what happens when my daughter is sitting in a room with Albert Reeds, whose granddaughter Lynn Loud Jr. doesn't even wear a mask outside?

Albert Reeds: Oh, here we fucking go again! Stop mask shaming, mister!

Jordan's Father: Well, it's really not a mask if you wear it down around your chin. That's a chin diaper.

Albert Reeds: There's no real proof that a mask even fuckin' does anything!

Jordan's Father: Spoken like a true redneck!

Maggie's Mother: Oh, fuck you! [everyone starts talking over each other. One of them says "That's not fair!"]

Principal Huggins: Okay. Okay, everyone. Alright. [presses a key on his computer to mute everyone else's microphone] All Right! I just muted everybody! Okay! Now, if we don't get along, I'll just sit here with you all on mute! [no one on screen is moving] Okay, now let's try this again. [presses a key and the mics are back on]

Jancey: I saw Rita Loud's daughter Leni not wearing a mask in the changing room at Ross.

Rita: The fucking hell are you doing spying on my daughter in the changing room?! She was at Ross- [accusing resumes]

Principal Huggins: Okay, BOOM! [silences the mics again] You're all muted! All right?! I can do this all fucking day! Now, we've made changes at the school, and we feel prepared to welcome your students back! [Harold McBride who is sitting with his wife Holly raises his hand] Mr. and Mrs. McBride!

Harold: I don't care what changes you've made, our son Clyde is not going to class!

Holly McBride: I have to agree with my husband, Harold. Because we don't want our little boy to get infected by the virus.

Principal Huggins: And that is your prerogative. Mute! [mutes Harold and Holly, unmutes Lori] All right, Lori Lo.. I mean, Santiago. My goodness, I'm surprised to see you here in the meeting. Go right ahead and speak to me.

Lori Santiago: I thought that the issue was the teachers not coming back so I figured I'd fill in for one of them.

Principal Huggins: That is correct aside from you filling in for one of the teachers. Aside from that, our teaching staff does not feel safe to return, BUT... we have hired all new teachers, all right? These are people who have recently lost their jobs due to recent events and are desperate for work. All right, so they'll do just about anything.

Holly McBride: What new teachers?

(Meanwhile, The police force along with the Child Services is now the new teaching staff. Abraham Stone addresses them outside the police station.)

Detective Abraham Stone: Alright, men! As you all know, due to recent events totally beyond our control, we have lost most of our funding. But this new venture will be great. and I know we will all thrive as high school teachers. This might be our last chance at a job, so I don't want any unnecessary deaths. [the officers groan "Awww!"] Ahp! Ahp! No unnecessary deaths! And let's show this town just what great leaders we can be. This is gonna be great.

(Back at the Loud House, Rita gives her daughters their lunches. Lynn Jr. was not feeling happy about going back to school though the rest of the girls were.)

Johnny Elaine: All over Royal Woods this morning, children are getting ready for their first day of class. And as they do, scientists say they're closer to finding a vaccine.

Leni: Oh cool! Turn it up!

Katherine Mulligan: Elaine, I'm standing in front of the newly built viral research center where scientists say they have found the animal which started the coronavirus. [some lab scientists are shown working on samples] The creature was located in China and then flown to the facility here, where scientists are studying it thoroughly.

Lynn Sr.: (peaks in upon hearing the report) Hey, guys. W-what's going on here?!

Luna: They think they're about to find the vaccine.

Chief Scientist: Yes, now that we have the animal in our possession, we'll finally be able to unlock what caused a virus to jump from it to humans.

Lynn Sr.: (just sat down on the couch with Rita.) Hmmm, what started coronavirus? What started coronavirus? Well at least this is real news for right now.

Rita: I know, honey. I just want to hear it.

Katherine Mulligan: You traced the virus to Wuhan, but what you found was not a bat. Is that correct?

Chief Scientist: I'm afraid not, Mrs. Mulligan. It seems very clear that the virus did not come from a bat.

Lynn Sr.: (silent for a few moments) What? What did he say?

Chief Scientist: We were able to break down the virus enough to see there was actually no bat involved.

Lynn Sr.: No bat involved.

Rita: Well, if it wasn't a bat, what was the animal that caused it anyway?

Chief Scientist: When we tracked the virus, we found it did originate in Wuhan, but from a species called pholidota.

Katherine Mulligan: And what exactly is pholidota?

Chief Scientist: It's a pangolin. And here it is, right over here. (Katherine and the Chief Scientist walk over to a cage holding the pangolin.)

Leni: Does anyone know what a pangolin is?

Lisa: I think I do know what a pangolin is.

Luna: Well, what is it then?

Lisa: Apparently, they are mammals of the order Pholidota that have large, protective keratin scales, similar in material to fingernails and toenails which covers their skin for extra protection. (Meanwhile, Lynn Sr. and Rita are lost in a memory) They are located mostly in sub-Saharan Africa and the lower parts of Asia, presumably China and Vietnam and they are currently threatened by poaching and deforestation of their natural habitats.

(Lynn Sr. flashes back to his and Rita's time in China with Mickey. They're in the back seat of a taxi, tired)

Mickey: Haha haha. Dude, I still can't believe you both played around with that bat. Haha.

Lynn Sr.: Okaaay, okaaay, Shhhh.

Mickey: Haha. You really let her have it! Oh boy!

Rita: Okay! My husband and I don't wanna think about that right now, Mickey!

Mickey: I'm just impressed, that's all. I mean, if you both can handle a bat, then...

Rita: Then what?

Mickey: You ever have sex with a pangolin?

Lynn Sr. and Rita: (together) What the hell is a pangolin?

(Mickey tells the driver in Chinese to stop)

A hotel room in Wuhan. While Mickey is the iPhone making more deals, Lynn Sr. and Rita are playing around with a pangolin.

Lynn Sr.: Ha ha, ha whoa!

(They are enjoying it rather thoroughly, then he snaps back to the present.)

Lynn Sr.: Damn it!

(He runs out of the house.)

Lynn: (still not happy) This definitely won't go well today.

(Enter Royal Woods High School. A sign over the entrance reads "Welcome Back Students!" A classroom is shown, with 12 decks instead of the usual 24. The desks are divided into groups of two. Each desk has a protective plastic shield in front and to the right, with a slot at the bottom for school work to be handed through. The officers are wearing clear plastic face shields, the kids and the assistants, Lincoln and Lori are all wearing face masks.)

Lori: Good morning, everyone, and welcome back to class. this is your new teacher, Detective Abraham Stone of the Child Services, and here's our homeroom teacher's assistants, Officer Mills, my son Lincoln and his mother Lori Lou... I mean, Santiago, which is me. Well, detective Stone, after you.

Stone: Okay, Let's start the day off with some math. Does anyone understand math? Who would like to lead the class with some math?

(The sounds of a squealing pig approach the classroom door. The door opens, and Lynn Jr. is being carried in by two officers. She's mumbling gibberish while throwing a tantrum, but then gets out a few sentences.)

Lynn Jr.: Pandemic! There's a pandemic! You can't make me go to school! (the officers tie her to her chair with a pair of handcuffs.) You can't! Argh! Araraaagh! Nonono! Nonono! You can't make me! You hear me?!

Stone: I don't know if I can do this, guys.

Lori: Don't worry, officer. Officer Mills and I will both handle this. (She steps forward.) Let me try. (She starts teaching.) Alright, kids! Let's settle down! Now we're gonna do a little art project. You're gonna be drawing... (she reads from a small notebook) a fun thing you teenagers did over the summer.

Lynn Jr.: You can't make us stay here! This is a violation of our freedom! Who's with me, guys?!

Mills: Now, listen! We're gonna start our little art assignment right now like Lori said!

Lynn Jr.: Oh my God, I forgot how much it sucks to be around everybody! I think I'm gonna be sick, all over Luna! (She pretends to vomit and cough over Luna)

Luna: Fuck you!

(Luna gives Lynn Jr. the middle finger before she jumps out of her seat and beats Lynn up. The other kids start cheering)

Lori: (yells through her megaphone) That's enough! Get 'em, Boys.

(Stone beings out his service revolver and aims. Mills does as well, and they fire away while Lincoln ducks behind Lori. A shot goes through Margo's front shield. A few more follow, and she takes a shot in the arm)

Margo: Ow!

(Her left hand is over the wound. She falls out of his seat and onto the floor. Gunfire and cheering stop)

Stone: Got 'er!

Lori: Okay, that's not what was I was expecting...at all.

Lincoln: You can say that again.

(Meanwhile, at the Royal Woods Viral Research Center, the pangolin is in its cage. A scientist shines a sensor onto it for a second as he leads a new research team in and walks to the cage.)

Chief Scientist: Aaand here it is. This is the pangolin we tracked down in China, the animal that could lead us to a vaccine. The mysteries of COVID can be unlocked by our studies of this creature. I'll just ask you all to keep a good distance away. Obviously, we can't let anything happen to this pangolin. (Lynn Sr. sneaks up behind the scientists) You see, this pangolin's DNA has mutated, which is what we believe started it all.

Scientist 1: The pangolin has mutated, how?

Chief Scientist: We're not completely sure, but we believe now that something somehow... got its DNA up into the pangolin.

Scientist 2: How exactly could that happen?

Chief Scientist: Well i-it's almost like another creature somehow inserted its DNA up into the pangolin.

Scientist 3: Perhaps some other species somehow mated with the pangolin?

Scientist 2: Oh, come on! What kind of animal would have sex with a pangolin?

Scientist 1: Yeah! Look how ugly that thing is!

Scientists: [chuckle at the possibility] Yeah, yeah.

Lynn Sr.: Okay, Okay.

Chief Scientist: Again, what really matters is that ew decode the foreign DNA inside the pangolin. That would be the key to the vaccine, perhaps even a cure. We have to know what raped the pangolin.

Lynn Sr.: Oh, so now it was "rape."

Chief Scientist: Excuse me, sir. Who are you? [Lynn Sr. stays silent] This tour is for scientists that specialize in pandemics. Are you... a pandemic specialist?

Lynn Sr.: Yeah I'm a pandemic specialist. My wife and I are making one right now.

Chief Scientist: Uh-kay. Anyway, if you all follow me now to the micro labs, I can show you the containment system for once a vaccine is able to be tried. [Lynn Sr. pretends to walk with them but pulls back to the cage. He takes the pangolin out and struggles with it for a few seconds, then stuffs it down his pants and sneaks away.]

(Meanwhile, back at the high school, a crowd of parents has gathered in front of the school. Principal Huggins and the police officers look back at them. He then pulls out his bullhorn and turns it on, causing a reverb.)

Principal Huggins: All right, parents. Can everyone hear me okay? [the crowd is shown from his point of view - they all have masks, but have lowered them to speak] Everyone listens up. We don't want anyone to panic, okay, but there has been a COVID exposure here at the school. [parents gasp] Okay, one of our ninth graders was taken to the hospital a couple of hours ago, okay? But we think Margo's gonna be okay. Now, due to county protocol, everyone that was in the school now has to quarantine for two weeks. So we will be keeping your kids here, and the teachers will be staying with them. [parents shout back.]

(Meanwhile, in the gym. All the school kids from grades 9-12 are here. They are talking amongst themselves.)

Detective Stone: Alright, students. quiet down. (conversations fade off) I know this situation is not ideal, but it looks like we all have no choice to quarantine together for two weeks.

Lynn Jr.: Are you kidding me? Quarantined in the school for two weeks? This is bullshit!

Lori: LYNN!

Detective Stone: You don't want to infect your families, do you? You were all exposed to a student here who was taken to the hospital due to COVID. Yes?

Leni: Uh, we were there, and Margo was actually taken to the hospital because you guys shot her.

Detective Stone: Yes, due to COVID. If it weren't for COVID, all the previous teachers would have still been here, we wouldn't have been in the class, and nobody would have gotten shot. Therefore, the young lady is in the hospital due to COVID.

Officer 1: It was COVID-related.

Leni: That doesn't make any fucking sense!

To be continued in Part 4...