Several hours had passed and a dull meeting later, I found myself in Seras' home. A lovely abode for a woman of considerable means. Though she doesn't flaunt it. It's comfortably furnished with hardwood floors and a beautiful view of the downtown district of the capital. The rain had not let up but I found it only added to the view. A glass of Papetoonian Red Wine (Who knew they made such things?!) in my right hand.
The city was dreary, but in a sort of beautiful fashion. Dark clouds hung overhead with rain dumping itself by the inches with each passing moment. The neon-lights casting their iridescent glow as the sun began to set. The orange light bathed the rain in it's magnificence and truly held my attention far longer than anything else. For Seras and myself, we were glad she was off the clock while staring out over the skyline in this rare picturesque moment. The gentle pitter patter of rain off the windows adding to the overall sensation of comfort.
This… is what I need. There's no talking, no attempts to woo me or slide a hand up my thigh. We're alone, quietly enjoying each other's company and the peace radiates happily in my mind. Half my age, and the girl is already leaps and bounds ahead of so many others. Many people remark on how youthful I look despite being into my fifties. I laugh and brush them off, thanking them as flatterers. What I don't tell them is Cerinians age at nearly half the rate that Lylatians do. Something to do with our genetics or perhaps even the environment we evolved in. It was never really truly understood, nor did I really ask why. Cornerians are a little too quick to start sticking and prodding things with needles and machines. So I just let people think it's clean living…
I nearly choke on that thought and hold it in enough that it only comes out as a gentle chuckle.
"What's so funny?" Seras asks with a gentle curl of her lips along that slender snout of hers.
"Just a little in joke, luv… nothing to worry about."
So while I am in effect fifty total years, physically, I am maybe thirty by Lylatian standards. But for me, the whole world slowly turns and here I am at the eye of it all. Though, there is a gentle nagging at the back of my head. Like how I felt the same day Fox had rescued me from the Sharpclaw… As if destiny had come knocking on my very door. It was however, not like it was then. I had butterflies in my stomach as I gazed up at this handsome young todd pulling me up a slickened crevice with just his raw muscle and sheer will. His body like an unmovable mountain as he hauled me around so easily. Those powerful emerald eyes never left mine and I wore the dumbest smile imaginable. At that moment, I knew that I wanted to learn more about him. At least until my temper flared and I started roasting Sharpclaws with my staff.
No, this was not that pleasant bright future and sensation that the world was laid out before me. It was a dread feeling of foreboding malice, and one that made my stomach clench in anxiety. The reports had said they were just radio signals. Ages old and nothing more… But when was Corneria right about anything? I, Star Wolf, and the main Federation Battlegroup were being deployed to investigate. Such a mobilization told me everything I needed to know. The Cornerians were expecting trouble, and that meant we were too. Still, I was doing my best to not let it dampen my mood as I turned my eyes to Seras, gazing into her beautiful sapphire orbs.
"Thank you for this… this quiet. It's not something I get to enjoy very often, Seras… that you welcomed me into your home."
The vixen was slightly shorter than me by an inch or two and waved her hand gingerly, "It's nothing, Krystal. With how many times you've saved us, I figure someone could show you some genuine kindness."
Much like back in the office, my throat hitches. How can someone so kind exist? Let alone be so genial towards a wretch like myself? Normally I'd be face deep into something by now, but not with Seras. There was no primal urge, no desire to express myself sexually. If anything, I just… I wanted…
"S-Seras… can I ask you something that's really strange?"
My friend gazes at me with curiosity, "Of course, Krystal."
"Could…. C-could…" I can't form the words. They refuse to come forth and she sees the distress in my eyes. I'm trying to ask for something deeply personal, something I want from her but my mouth outright denies to formulate what it is.
"Deep breaths, Krystal, like we talked before… you're the master of the mind here."
I do as I'm told, one long inhale followed by a shallow exhale. For several minutes this goes on and I am willing to try again.
"Could… you hold me… and scratch me behind the ears?" It's so absurd, so silly to ask such a thing. If she kicked me out, I wouldn't be surprised.
"Did Fox used to do that for you?"
I freeze, hearing his name in conjunction with one of my long dead past times. My tail fluffs out in aggression before settling and I nod, slightly misty-eyed, "Yes… he used to do that to help calm me before a mission, and I would return the favor."
"Well… I have no mission, and this is incredibly unprofessional," We are long past that line, I'm in her home, drinking and asking for some affection, anything.
"Do you think I'll actually mean it? Or is it just to placate you?"
Why ask me such a thing? I've opened an old wound to her! I narrow my eyes slightly and I can feel the venom rise in the back of my throat.
"Is it me you want, or are you looking to supplant me with Fox in your head?" she asks. Just as I am about to fire off a venomous barb, she stops me in my tracks with three words: "I'll do it."
I had nearly been guilty of the same thing I accused others of. That I was thinking of Fox instead of her. That Seras was just a thing to relieve my own tensions and sorrows, someone to… use. I nearly vomited with how disgusting I felt at that moment. A hair's breadth from continuing the cycle only for her words to register as I stared at her with shock in my dull teal eyes.
"W-what?" I say with shock.
"You know what you did wrong, I see it in your eyes and the way your snout drooped. You do it when you get reflective. Now that I know it's me you'll be thinking of, yes… and you can think of Fox too, I know you love him… I just didn't want to be a-"
"Surrogate, I know." I say with shuddering breaths, and in a flash, my arms are around her, hugging Seras directly into my chest. The younger vixen yelping in surprise before settling herself in. I know she's had thoughts of me, fantasies… very vivid ones. But I'm not looking for that, not yet. Though my more carnal mind would not object to it. But right now, I just want someone to hold me, to rub me behind the ears and be with me.
We move to the couch and I get just what I've needed for so long. A gentle touch, a loving hand and the warmth of someone I can at least expose myself to without feeling a need to be sexual. Now if this were some sappy movie; I'd be crying my eyes out and saying what a stupid bitch I was. Already had that moment a few nights ago, now I'm just… content. Save for that damn nagging in the back of my head. It just keeps telling me something is coming and it keeps me from truly relaxing.
Her fingers are so delicate in my fur and I remember how Fox would touch me, but also appreciating Seras' gentle ministrations. She's been good to me, better than most and I would love nothing more than to show her in every way that I appreciate her for what she's done.
We lay like that for some time. Just her reassuring me with gentle touches, little caresses, and I can't take it anymore. There is a love here, maybe not the kind of love I truly desire, but one I can express in true fashion. I sit up slowly and turn my eyes to Seras and she in turn gazes into mine. She knows what's coming, I see the recognition and there's a moment of hesitation. Seras was wondering if this was right, to interact with a patient so intimately, to break the doctor patient code.
In reply to her hesitance, I take the initiative. I lean in to close the gap and I halt just before our lips would connect. My head is canted to the side in a silent question, yes, or no? Asking her if this is what she wants without a word passed between us.
It's her way out, if she doesn't want it, then she has the option to say no. It'll hurt, but I will understand. I remember thinking earlier that she would have to come to me. I was being selfish and guarded. Being pursued is fun and all... but this? This is so much better.
In a way, we're meeting in the middle with mutuality and that warms my chilled heart to no end. Before I can reflect any further, my thoughts are interrupted the moment her soft lush lips connect to mine and there's a sharp gasp from both of us. Our eyes linger up the others and our lips meld slowly in a sweet dance as old as time. No tongue is offered, and that's fine. I can enjoy this, even if it's only for a night. What was supposed to be a kiss escalates and soon enough we embrace fully. Our forms become harmonious as we give into our fantasies and needs. The hours fly by in a blurr filled night of mutual passion and desire until I remember nothing but falling asleep with Seras in my arms and her head nestled beneath mine.
It's the first time in years I've slept so soundly.
The light shines through the window and I groan quietly. Seras still in my arms, nestled up beneath my jaw. She's so beautiful this way, in the raw. No professionalism, no suit, no stuffy office. Just two of us alone and together… But it can't last. Destiny is calling today and I have to answer even if I don't want to.
I gingerly move to let Seras keep on sleeping and begin to quietly gather my things until I am fully dressed. But I won't leave without saying goodbye and return to the bedroom. Lovingly, I nose her awake and she yawns with a sharp whine.
"Mmh, Krystal?" She says groggily, and I can't help but giggle at her disheveled appearance. We really went at it.
"Hey.. I'm sorry to do this but I have a deployment today and I can't say no… It's all hands on deck."
Worry fills her eyes, just as mine do.
"Are we in danger?"
"Command thinks so. But do me a favor, get out of the city and head into the countryside. I don't want you to get hurt… someone so kind shouldn't be caught in the crossfire."
There's a pause between us and then she surprises me with another kiss. I don't care about the morning breath, but the genuine warmth and affection there makes me whimper with delight. She truly knows how to nourish my emotions, my mind and soul… It's not quite like Fox, but it's real and gives me what I need.
Our lips part and we brush snouts together, "Expressing care for someone else's safety… you are recovering, Krystal." She smiles warmly with genuine interest and affection, and something more that could bloom if we had time, but we don't. My inner light whispers to me what is to happen today. "Come back in one piece, will you?" She says with warmth, "I'd like to see where this leads."
I almost want to chastise her, to snap something off to make her hate me. But I can't, not to someone so gentle and sweet.
"I'll try, luv. No promises." We both know the nature of war. I'm good, but no one is invincible. We trade another kiss, a hug, some coffee and I'm out the door heading to my apartment. I gather my things and… The Key.
I stare down at it, eyes narrowed. Should I use it? Should I go back? Maybe if we win whatever is coming… Seras and I…
I shake my head, my inner light won't be quiet and I know I may need it if things get too dicy. But can I face it again? Can I face him again?
Time will tell...