Author's Notes and Disclaimer: Hi! Sorry if it seemed I took so long; I'm back to doing the "Pinky and the Brain"/Disney with "Jurassic World" elements crossover RP with fellow Author GiovanniGo, plus I've been helping with some yard work. I'm also having to go over scenes and lines repeatedly from the episode so that I've got certain lines right, so that takes some time in itself. But here's chapter 3 ready for your reading pleasure.
As per the rules, I want to let everyone know that I don't own Godzooky; Hanna-Barbera does, or should I say Warner Bros. and Toho do. I don't own the series TMNT 1987 either; the series belongs to Murakami-Wolf-Swenson, Inc. and Viacom, and is based off the TMNT comic book series created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. Ooh, yeah, I also don't own the 1942 film "Casablanca", which is referenced in this chapter; Warner Bros. does.
Now for the recap: After Godzooky had been transported to New York from Toontown via a sewer, he found and rescued a new reporter named April O'Neil from a group of punks. To hide from the delinquents, April suggested that she and Zooky take cover in the sewers, which started bringing back a bad memory for the juvenile kaiju, which was temporarily waylaid by the arrival of and bonding with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, the leader, Donatello, the genius of the group, Michelangelo, the fun-loving one with a surfer-dude persona, and Raphael, the wisecracking turtle whose voice reminds Zooky of an actor from a 1979 fast-food restaurant commercial named Rob Paulsen (care to guess why?). He also meets the Turtles' sensei, Splinter, formerly Hamato Yoshi of the Foot Clan. After having been banished from the clan as a result of being falsely accused of trying to kill a sensei who visited the Foot school by using a knife stuck to his kimono by Oroku Saki, Yoshi had fled to America, where he lived in the sewers with the rats, and then four turtles who came down the drain. Then, one day, Yoshi found the turtles covered in a mutagen that turned them human and him into a rat. Despite having heard the story, April believes that the TMNT committed the robberies due to the fact that they are ninjas, which leaves the Turtles little choice but to keep her with them until things are sorted out.
Which brings us to this chapter. Here, the immediate problem will be solved, but there's another one lurking in the wings that threatens to expose Zooky's post-traumatic stress that he got as a result of witnessing a military unit get torn apart by a now-deceased kaiju that lived underground in San Francisco. Let's just hope he can keep himself together for the duration of the venture.
Now, let's read on, and keep your fingers crossed…
Chapter 3
There's got to be a solution to this; there just has to be, Zooky thought as he continued to meditate.
He didn't know how much time had elapsed since he started, but what he did know, was that throughout the time span, he had been juggling multiple problems, one being the feeling of the Eartheater incident that had been nagging in the back of his mind ever since he came down here. Frankly, being with the Turtles and having bonded with them, as well as being in Splinter's presence, were pretty much the only things besides his own will that were keeping him from flying apart down here. The other problem was the main one he was trying to solve: April had threatened to expose the Turtles…and him, to an extent, which pretty much led to him almost losing his temper. These four Turtles had become the closest friends he had made since the Looney Tunes, and all five had become thick as five layers of melted mozzarella in a deep-dish pizza (A/N: I would've said "thieves", but…), and he wasn't about to let them be exposed to the terrible hate that he had gone through as a youngling. The only question was: How to solve this?
"Hey, I got it!" Michelangelo's voice cried out, startling Zooky out of his meditative state.
Zooky sighed to himself as he took a deep breath; not even a full day with these turtles and he already forgot how enthusiastic Michelangelo could get.
"Whoops, sorry, Zuke; I didn't mean to scare ya," came Michelangelo's voice again, his tone apologetic this time.
"Nah, I'm OK, Mikey," Zooky assured the dude turtle as he got up and walked over to where the others were; April and the Turtles were gathered around the table where not a moment ago, he and the terrapin quartet partook in some unique pizza together as if they were brothers, and Master Splinter was sitting on a mat nearby, possibly also meditating. "What is it you got?" the juvenile kaiju asked.
"Well, like, I just came up with an idea to solve our problem," Michelangelo explained.
A sinking feeling settled on Zooky like a heavy cape.
"I have a feeling I'm not gonna like the answer to this, but I'm afraid I have to ask: What is it?" Zooky inquired.
Michelangelo took a deep breath before saying: "She stays with us for the rest of her life!"
Yep. That's what Zooky was afraid it was. He closed his eyes, shook his head, and held the bridge of his snout with his fingers as Raphael said in a sarcastic tone: "Try again, Mr. Wizard".
"Sorry again," Michelangelo apologized.
Zooky sighed heavily; he couldn't blame the dude turtle for making that suggestion. After all, what else would one think of doing to protect themselves, especially if the one who threated to expose them was practically sitting with them?
Opening his eyes and putting his hand down, Godzooky told the Turtles, "Look, from what I see, we've got two problems: One, the four of you and Splinter don't want to be exposed. Two, there's a rash of ninja-based thefts occurring that April is on the trail of and almost got killed for, and right now, you four are collectively the prime suspect."
"And this leads to…?" Raphael trailed.
"Given the events, the only plausible solution is to hit two birds with one stone: Find those ninja thieves for her," Godzooky started.
"And perhaps she can also help us find a cure for Splinter's condition," Leonardo cut in, sheathing his other katana after having just finished polishing it.
"If you get me my story," April said, standing up.
"You will, which brings me to the second thing:" Zooky continued, now becoming stern and serious, "You have to promise, and I mean promise, that there won't be one. Mention. Of the Turtles."
"And that goes for Zooky, too," Donatello stated emphatically, the other turtles nodding in agreement.
"Of course," April promised.
Zooky picked up a tone of disheartenment that likely came from her feeling upset that she wasn't going to be able to feature what she thought of as the biggest story ever, but he also heard sincerity; the touching speech that Raphael had given still had an effect. Speaking of said turtle…
"Now wait just a minute," Raphael spoke up. "Zooky, I can go with, but…she's gonna help us?!" he asked, referring to April.
"Yes," Zooky said, not sure he was liking the wavelength that statement was riding on.
"Yeah," April concurred. "So?"
"Well uh, no offense lady, but um…you're a human," Raphael answered, choosing his words carefully.
"Exactly," Zooky said emphatically. "She can get into places that you guys, and frankly, I can't. Besides, if this venture takes us into broad daylight, it would help if someone ran interference for us," he added.
"I'll see what I can do," April shrugged honestly.
"Not to mention, and, no offense, fellas, but…you're gonna need a guide up there," Zooky stated.
"I would've thought that was gonna be you," Raphael said.
"Just because I've been wandering the city for most of this night and I've been around places doesn't mean I know this city like the back of my hand," the winged saurian pointed out. "She'll have to be our guide above ground and you guys will have to be our guides in the sewers."
"Young Gozuki is correct, my students," spoke Master Splinter. "If you are to be successful, you will all have to learn to work together."
"Well, I guess anything's worth a try. No matter how weird," Raphael added in an undertone.
Zooky deliberately coughed, then touched his right ear, letting the sarcastic turtle know that he had heard that last part. The juvenile kaiju liked Raphael, but he wasn't going to tolerate anything negative towards April. In return, said turtle gave him a look that said "sorry" and that was that.
A couple minutes later, the group of six consisting of Godzooky, April, and the four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were ready to go.
"All right, let's check out the spot where we fought those punks," Donatello instructed. "Maybe they left a clue behind."
"Are you outta your shell, Donatello?" Raphael questioned. "Come on, you think those punks are just gonna leave evidence lyin' around?"
"We can't afford to overlook anything, Raphael," Zooky told the turtle. "Even the slightest detail is important. I've worked with three detectives; I should know."
"Remind me to ask you to tell us about that sometime when this is all over," Raphael said as the group started walking.
"That's a done deal," promised Zooky.
He couldn't help it; he tried keeping his senses occupied by moving his eyes around, stretching his hearing ability as far as he could, and keeping his tracking nose on constant, but the nagging feeling from before was still lingering. He was getting the feeling that he needed to get out of the sewers. Soon.
But there was nothing to be scared of; this was New York, not San Francisco! Besides, he was with his new friends, and they would look after him just like he would look after them. They wouldn't let anything happen to him…unless something happened to them first.
No, no, no. Stop it, stop it, stop it-
"Hey, Zooky?"
"What?!" Zooky barked, then became apologetic when he saw who had addressed him. "Oh! Sorry, Raph."
"Are you OK? You're lookin' a little peaked, kid," Raphael told him in concern.
"It's not 'cause of the pizza, is it?" Michelangelo asked nervously.
"No, no," Zooky sighed, not wanting to talk about it. "I'm fine."
"You sure?" Leonardo asked, everyone apparently having stopped when Zooky yelled.
"Yeah, I'm sure, Leo," Zooky lied. He didn't want to lie, but he wasn't up to anything except helping April and making sure the Turtles stayed out of trouble. And getting out of the sewers as soon as possible.
As soon as he was certain the Turtles weren't looking, Zooky looked back at April with a glare that said in no uncertain terms: "Not. A. Word". Once she nodded, Zooky turned back around and continued following the Turtles.
A few more nerve-wracking minutes (for Zooky) later, the group reached the area where April and Zooky had first met the Turtles and where Zooky had helped the Turtles beat the punks. Everything was pretty much the same, except for one thing.
"Looks like the jerks up and split," Zooky observed, noticing the lack of the pileup of punks.
"Guess they had had enough when we got through with 'em," Raphael remarked.
"OK, let's fan out," Donatello instructed. "And remember: Even the slightest out-of-place detail may be a clue, so keep your eyes peeled."
"In my case, I'll keep my eyes and nose peeled," the juvenile saurian said.
And he did, too… for the whole two minutes he had looked, checking the walls, the walkway, and eventually the muddy ground, which almost played havoc with his sensitive olfactory senses because of the variety of scents present.
"We're not gonna find anything here," Zooky heard Mikey say.
"Have faith, Michelangelo," Zooky told the turtle as he continued looking on the ground on all fours. "Something will turn up sooner or later…Ah-HA!" he exclaimed, his nose picking up a scent of unwashed New York punk that wasn't part of the sewer and his eyes seeing a small, rectangular paper object, a matchbook, to be exact, which he grabbed and leaped to his feet with. Turning the item over in his hands, he found a label that read "Ninja Pizzeria".
"Ninja pizza? Well, whaddya know?" Raphael exclaimed.
"Rock, dudes! Do you realize what this is?!" Michelangelo asked his cohorts excitedly.
We can guess, but I think he'll tell us anyway, Zooky smirked to himself.
"The crucial piece of evidence we were looking for?" Donatello guessed.
"The clue which'll lead us to the heart of the evil ninja empire?" Raphael offered.
"Naw, even better; it's a place where we can get some pizza!" Michelangelo exclaimed joyfully.
"Right on!" Raphael smiled.
"Called it~," Zooky hummed to himself, a smile on his face as well.
"OK, I'll head up there and check it out," April said, starting to head off.
As much as Zooky had confidence that April could take care of herself in a crisis, he couldn't help but think that it was a bad idea to go near that place alone. And it turns out he wasn't the only who thought so.
"No, no, April," Donatello disagreed, grabbing her arm to stop her. "It's too dangerous. You wouldn't last five minutes in a ninja pizza parlor," he said in a rather dramatic tone. "I love saying lines like that," he remarked in an aside.
Zooky giggled at that. That, and the fact the he could've sworn he heard a rimshot just then.
Apparently there's a little toon element in this place after all, Zooky thought. This world is lookin' to be right up my alley.
"We'd better go with you, April," Leonardo said.
"I admire your initiative April; I really do, but I think it would be better if you at least had some backup," Zooky stated honestly.
"That's right. And besides, we're hungry!" Raphael declared, withdrawing a sai from his belt.
Zooky couldn't resist throwing an amused glance in Raphael's direction at that.
"Look guys, if you draw a lot of attention, we'll be in big trouble," April said as they started walking again.
"Then we'll have to come up with something to make sure we don't," Zooky pointed out.
"Relax, guys," Donatello said. "We know all about humans."
The group stopped once again, and the sinking feeling came back to Zooky.
"How?" April queried.
"I think I know~," Zooky mumbled in a singsong voice.
"We watch a lot of TV," Michelangelo answered.
"Knew it~."
"We're in big trouble," April commented worriedly.
Godzooky walked to her, put a comforting hand on her upper left arm and said, "Hey, April, don't worry. You take care of getting us to that ninja pizzeria, and I'll make sure the guys stay out of trouble, OK?"
Zooky heard April give her OK, but he was initially confused by the look of discomfort she was giving him until he noticed that he was starting to grip her arm a bit too tightly, his claws starting to dig into her skin. With an embarrassed chuckle, he removed his hand, only to find that it was shaking. He gripped it with his other hand.
Out. Now.
"I'm all right," he said. "Let's just go," he added, making a beeline for a nearby ladder that led to a manhole cover, and out of the sewers.
Another lie, another bruise on Godzooky's conscience. And to top it all off, he was sure the Turtles were starting to get suspicious. It was now only a matter of time before the questions became too unbearable and he would either reveal one of the darkest days of his past, which would make them worry more about him than they should, or he would lose his temper with them and thus lose face.
One problem at a time, Godzooky. One problem at a time.
Godzooky thought he wouldn't be able to get out of there fast enough, but he managed to keep his relief quiet enough as took in lungful after lungful of fresh air.
"Wow, so this is the Big Apple at night!" Leonardo's voice said from behind Zooky.
Zooky whirled around fast and shushed Leonardo, the sound coming out a bit louder than he thought it was.
"What was that, a leaky tire?" asked Raphael's voice from the bottom of the ladder.
Zooky facepalmed himself before answering, trying to keep his voice hushed, "No, you silly, that was me! I was trying to keep Leo quiet so that we didn't attract attention!"
"Sorry, Zooky," Leonardo apologized as the other turtles and April began to climb out. "It's just…This is kind of our first time being up here."
"I know," the juvenile saurian mumbled. He then said in his normal tone, "Look, let's just hope that little outburst between you and me didn't attract any attention."
Unfortunately, there was no such luck as there was a scream two seconds after Zooky had completed that sentence that nearly made the kaiju jump out of his scales. It came from an elderly woman pushing a shopping cart on a nearby sidewalk.
"Monsters!" she screamed.
Oh no! This is what I was afraid of! Zooky panicked. "Whoa! Whoa! Easy, ma'am! We didn't mean to scare you! We're not what you think!" he called to the old lady, raising his hands in a placating gesture.
"Yeah, he's right; relax, lady," Raphael said. "We're not gonna hurt ya."
"Look, we can talk this o-oh-oh-OH-OH-WHO-O-O-OA!" Godzooky cried out in alarm, putting his hands up.
And no wonder, for as Zooky and Raphael were trying to calm the female senior citizen, she had withdrawn what looked like a machine gun from her cart, kicked-I kid you not-the cart away, and aimed the firearm at them and the others!
"O-O-OH-KA-A-AY! Maybe not!" the juvenile saurian kaiju yelped. Man, am I glad Granny is not like that! he thought, remembering the sweet old lady who owned Tweety and Sylvester, two fellow Looney Tunes.
He also heard the turtles give their own yelps and exclamations of surprise, Donatello almost screaming and Raphael's being a particularly loud "YIPES!", but he barely heard them through the pounding in his ears as his heartrate picked up to a fear-fueled pace. His chest began to hurt as well, as he had actually barely enough time to recover from the gnawing panic he was having in the sewer when…this happened.
"One twitch and you're history, scum!" the old lady with the machine gun threatened.
Zooky would've told her that wasn't going to be a problem, that is, if he could get his body to unlock. He was also starting to feel lightheaded; if something wasn't done soon, he was the one who was going to faint this time.
"OK, there's no denying it this time," Raphael's voice whispered in his ear, just cutting through the faze that was his panic. "There was a positive blood drain from your face."
"Not while we're being held at gunpoint, Raphael!" Zooky hissed at the turtle through clenched teeth, frankly amazed that his voice was still working.
"Now back off!" ordered the woman. "Nice and easy."
Zooky started trying to step back, but he was still locked up. Thankfully, he felt the familiar hands of two of the turtles take his raised arms, which was just enough to get him to move.
He remembered being backed up to a wall, hands still in the air, but even when he had stopped, he still couldn't move, and it was becoming difficult to stay conscious. It wasn't until Donatello declared, "OK, I think the coast is clear", that Godzooky's body finally unlocked and he started gasping for air, coughing a few times in the process. He winced as he felt a few muscles in his neck and arms had been pulled from when he had gone tight, even the joint area that connected his tail to his body was sore.
He had just about recovered his breath and his wits were mostly returned when he sensed a feeling of extreme concern coming from…who else? Raphael, who was looking at him with crossed arms and a look in eyes that was a mix of "What is going on?!" and "Are you all right?", certainly a change from the usual spark of friendly sarcasm that usually dominated his features.
"All right, that does it," Raphael said, and the worry in his voice could not be plainer than the red mask on his face. "Something is very wrong and I wanna know what!" he demanded.
"Yeah," spoke up Michelangelo. "I mean, you are lookin' a lighter shade of green than you should."
"I…I…I'll be all right," Zooky said, still breathing hard.
"You sure?" Michelangelo asked.
"Hey, do you think I was expecting an old lady with a machine gun?" Zooky asked, the question coming out a bit sharply.
"That's beside the point!" Raphael countered. "You've been actin' antsy during our walk through the sewers and not two minutes ago I definitely saw the blood drain from your face! Now some turtle sense of mine is tellin' me that's not exactly normal and I'd like to know why!"
"Hey, cool it, Raphael!" Leonardo cut in. "If Zooky doesn't wanna talk about it, he's not gonna talk about it, so don't pester him, OK? And that goes for you too, Michelangelo."
Zooky sighed in relief and gave a look of thanks to Leonardo. At least there was someone in the quartet who had some common sense.
"Sorry, Z-man," Michelangelo apologized. "We just, like, wanna make sure you're gonna be OK. You can dig that, right?"
Zooky looked at both Michelangelo and Raphael, apology evident on both their faces. The last thing he had wanted to do was make anyone worry, but it looked like there was no getting around it. But at least he could sense that the concern being shown for him was genuine; after all, he was pretty much like a brother to them now.
"Yeah, I can dig that," the juvenile saurian smiled, feeling a bit better when he saw the two turtles smile as well.
"Well, all this isn't going to mean much if we don't do something about your looks," April said.
"In that case, the only way the five of us are gonna get anywhere is in disguise," Zooky pointed out.
"And I know just the place; we're right next to an all-night men's clothing shop! Wait here," April instructed Zooky and Turtles before running off to the shop she mentioned.
While they waited, Zooky stood apart from the Turtles, dread settling on him like cloak. Not mere hours ago, he had bonded closely with these turtles and now a figurative and literal rift was starting to form between them thanks to his post-traumatic stress.
This means that sooner or later, I'm gonna have to tell them about San Francisco, Zooky thought. But if I do… *sigh* I don't want them to worry over me. And if I'm ever going to spend some time with them-and I really do-then I have to handle being underground. But…it's too much to think about, and I don't feel up to telling them. But, he suddenly thought, their sensei; he's perceptive. Does he know? Oh, what am I saying; of course he does, Zooky smiled, rolling his eyes. Well, maybe not about the specific event, but he's surely sensed some discomfort from me as I spent time in the lair.
Zooky's thought process was interrupted by the approaching footsteps of April, who was carrying…
"What the…? Are those…trench coats?" Zooky asked with a wide smile and an incredulous tone, taking one of them and putting it on.
"They were the biggest things I could find," April shrugged.
Great; now all that's missing is…
"Oh…no," Zooky started laughing, taking from April-you guessed it: A fedora. "Trench coats and fedoras? What do you think this is, 'Casablanca'?" the juvenile saurian giggled.
"Would you believe it was a set? At least it'll be a slight improvement," April answered.
Zooky felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see Raphael in his trench coat disguise. He put on the fedora, straightened it, and, for the icing on the cake, said in an impression of actor Humphrey Bogart: "Here's lookin' at you, kid".
The juvenile saurian couldn't help it; he started laughing so hard and so loudly he was lucky the city at night was noisy enough already. He thought he had heard April ask "I thought the idea was to be quiet so that we don't draw attention" through his giggles and apologized, eventually getting his giggle attack under control.
"Raph…ha-ha…that…that…is a terrific Humphrey Bogart," Zooky said, a few more giggles slipping.
"Really? Ya think so?" the wisecracking turtle asked eagerly.
Zooky nodded as he realized that Raph had probably done that to get his spirits back up…and as another apology.
"Well… Maybe I'll do it more often, sweetheart," Raphael said, once again slipping into his Humphrey Bogart impression, making Zooky laugh again.
"Oh, man! One of these days…hee-hee!" Zooky giggled. Once he was calmed down, he put a friendly smirk on his face, reached an arm around so that his hand was close to the brim of Raphael's fedora, said in his own Humphrey Bogart impression, "You're really good, but I ain't exactly Ingrid Bergman, so you why don't ya try that on someone else, pal?" and pulled the hat down over Raphael's eyes.
This time, everyone was laughing, even Raphael once he had readjusted his hat.
"Very funny, kiddo. Very funny," Raphael chuckled, friendly sarcasm once again on full.
What is it about me that makes practically everyone I meet call me "kiddo"? It used to be just between me and Uncle Godzilla, now it's coming up everywhere I go. Not that I mind, of course, Zooky wondered to himself as he recovered from his third laughing bout, putting on his own fedora.
"Well, if you two comedians are done clowning around, let's get going," April said once she had gotten her own breath back. "We still need to find that ninja pizzeria."
Zooky nodded, but hung back with Raphael when he saw that the turtle was looking at him with a smirk of his own.
"Ingrid Bergman?" he asked.
"Hollywood, remember?" Zooky reminded.
The two shared another good-natured laugh and picked up the pace to catch up to the others.
Back in the fold, Zooky said to himself. Now let's see if I can keep it that way.
"Now just keep quiet and don't draw attention to yourselves," April reminded everyone once more as they walked down the sidewalk.
Like five strangers dressed like they came right out of "Casablanca" don't attract enough attention already? Zooky thought sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"You took the eyeroll right outta my mouth, Zuke," Raphael whispered to him.
"Glad to know we're on the same wavelength, Raph," Zooky whispered back.
"What can I say? Great minds think alike," Raphael said.
"Keep it down guys," Leonardo instructed. "April said to be quiet."
"Sorry, Leo," Zooky apologized.
"Psst! Yo, my man," a voice said from Zooky's right.
The juvenile saurian turned his head to see a rather sleazy-looking character with three cards on an overturned cardboard box.
"Three-card monte?" the man asked.
Zooky grew nervous as Leonardo stepped forward; having lived in the sewers for all their lives, plus all their knowledge having come from television, Zooky knew that the Turtles were neither skilled in interaction with other humans nor aware of the variety of types. After all, human nature was not always black-and-white. He was also worried because he sensed disreputable intentions coming from that man.
"Cut the cards, slim," the man offered.
The winged saurian had to restrain himself from yelping on impulse as Leonardo withdrew one of his katanas and sliced the box in half, scaring the man and making him run off. Instead, his expression went from shocked to one of "Oh, brother!" and he closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his snout and shook his head in the manner of that latter expression.
"Nice going, Raphael!" he heard April reprimand Leonardo, mistaking him for the quick-witted turtle. "Only half the people on the street saw that!"
"That's Leonardo," Zooky reminded April once he opened his eyes. Can't she see the masks under those fedoras? he wondered to himself. Besides, Leo's the one who carries katanas.
"Oh, sorry," April said to Leonardo.
"And Leo," Zooky said patiently, "when someone asks you to 'cut the cards', it doesn't mean literally cut the cards."
"Oh. Sorry," Leonardo apologized.
A little further on, the group passed a salesman on the street who was selling comedy stuff: Fake noses, fake teeth, joy buzzers, that kind of stuff.
"Hey, April, why do humans want to make themselves dumber-looking than they already are?" Raphael asked. "Not that all of them are," he quickly added.
Nice save, Zooky thought, having been just a fraction of a second away from giving Raphael a glare; not only did he think that rather broad statement was directed at April, but it was also applied to those humans that Zooky knew as well, and that didn't sit well with him.
"I really don't know, Michelangelo," April said, mistaking Raphael for the surfer-dude turtle.
"That's Raphael," Zooky clarified. Again, can't see the masks?
"Oh, sorry," April apologized.
"Sorry about that question, Zuke; I just don't get why people need that stuff," Raphael explained to the juvenile saurian when they hung back from the group again so that they could talk in private.
"Well, many humans use those items to be funny," Zooky answered.
"They do?" Raphael asked.
"Sure. Many comedians in Hollywood do, but that's only a small portion of their tricks-of-the-trade," Zooky explained. "There's also being able to take a punch against hecklers, good material, slapstick, if necessary, sharp wit-you'd be surprised how a turn of phrase can affect an audience. There's also passion involved; if you're the kind of person who loves what they do, then that energy is reflected back to you from the audience, and that's your drive to keep going. It doesn't hurt to have a sort of personality about you that people can connect with, either. You know," he added, "you have some of that."
"I do?"
"Yeah; you got the wit and the personality, and the material you got by observing other actors on TV. For some comedians, impressions are their forte. But, I guess if we want to get down to the bare facts of being funny, it's a…vocation of sorts where what you do is help people forget their troubles for a while, help them smile when the last thing they feel like doing is smiling."
There was some silence before Raphael said, "I think I can see where you're coming from with that."
"It also helps if you have a voice that people don't forget that easily; you've got that, too," Zooky added honestly. "You know, you could consider doing commercials."
"I dunno about that," Raphael said unsurely. "I mean, who'd wanna see this face on their TVs?"
"Mm, that's right, there's physical appearances involved," Zooky thought aloud. Then he remembered: "There's actually a section of show business where versatility, a quick wit and mind, and passion are involved, and, for the most part, you don't have to worry about what you look like. It's called 'voice-acting'; all you have to do, once you've been accepted in an audition, is show up to a recording studio and record your lines with other people who do the same thing. There's no cameras involved; it's just you, your co-stars, the microphone, and the people on the other side of the glass. And the best part is, you can have a lot of fun with it."
"You really think I've got what it takes to be in that department of show biz?" Raphael asked.
"Well, once you get the passion for it and develop your material a bit more, you could swing it," Zooky said. "I've heard of a guy who's got the very things you have, and I have a feeling that because of those things, he's gonna go on to do big things someday. That could be you someday, too."
"Well, if I do once this is all over, would you vouch for me?" Raphael asked.
"Sure," Zooky said. "Another thing about the voice-acting gig: it's practically a mutual admiration society; everyone is genuinely kind and respectful to each other. If one actor doesn't think he or she is right for a particular character, they'll refer to someone else they believe is the better choice."
"Sounds like the gig to be in," Raphael said with a smile.
"It sure does," Zooky agreed.
When the group stopped to let a man who was listening to loud music coming out of a portable boombox that he was carrying on his shoulder go by, Zooky already knew another question-and likely another mistaken identity-was coming.
"Uh, April?" Donatello piped up.
"Yes?" April asked wearily.
"Why do human beings want to make themselves deaf?" the brainiac turtle asked.
"I really have no idea, Leonardo," April said, mistaking the brainiac for the leader.
Raphael gave Zooky a look that said "Again?!" to which Zooky replied with a look and a shrug that said "I'm afraid so".
"That's Donatello," Zooky reminded April.
"Sorry!" April said, frustration creeping into her voice.
"As for why, I don't know either; it's just a choice they made," Zooky shrugged.
Zooky was starting to see the theme of the neighborhood change from the usual city block to ninja-themed when-
"Uh, April?" Michelangelo called.
"What?!" April cried out, startling Zooky a bit.
"We're here," the dude turtle pointed.
"Oh," the woman reporter said, her tone calm this time.
Zooky looked with the rest at all the signs on the different buildings around them.
"'Ninja Dry Cleaners'?" Raphael read from one sign.
"'Ninja Shoe Repairs'?" Leonardo read from another.
"'Ninja Video Rentals'?" April read from a third.
"'Ninja Dentist'? Ow!" Donatello exclaimed.
"Tell me about it," Zooky said, rubbing his jaw as if just the thought of the dentist made his mouth hurt.
"I-I can't put my finger on it, but there's something suspicious about this neighborhood," Michelangelo said.
"Really? What was your first clue; the ninja theme or the fact that it's in a disreputable part of town?" Zooky asked sarcastically.
"Be careful Raphael; I think you've got some competition in the sarcasm department," Donatello snickered.
"Very funny, Donatello," Raphael replied in his usual sarcastic manner.
"'Ninja Pizzeria'," Zooky read from one of the signs. "This is it, guys."
The group went inside the restaurant, if it could be called that. Inside, they found three men behind the counter, two wearing masks that covered their mouths and one that had a mask similar to the Turtles' masks. One was working the register, one was flipping dough, and the third was using a "katana" to cut a block of cheese.
"Sheesh! Even the foreign-themed restaurants in Hollywood are better than this dump!" Godzooky commented.
"Hey, come on; I'm starving, guys!" Michelangelo said, making his way to one of the booths, the other turtles following.
We really shouldn't be eating when we're trying to do something important, but that gnawing panic I was having back in the sewer and that scare we went through burned through most of my energy. I guess I could use a pick-me-up, Zooky reasoned, following the Turtles.
"Don't you guys think about anything but pizza?" April asked.
"Not unless we have to," Raphael replied.
"Welcome to Ninja Pizza, home of the nice slice!" said the "ninja" at the register, his baritone voice triggering another visual "Hey, I know that voice" reaction from Godzooky.
"You OK?" Michelangelo asked.
"Yeah. But I could've sworn I…" Zooky started, looking back at the man behind the counter who had greeted them, who was pulling out a knife he had stabbed into the surface. "Oh, never mind; it's probably nothing," he dismissed, sitting down next to Raphael.
Color me crazy, but I could've sworn that guy sounded a bit like Optimus Prime, only a bit deeper, and not as kind, the juvenile kaiju thought.
"Don't you think there's something a little strange about this place?" April asked, standing at the end of the table as Michelangelo sat down next to Zooky.
"Plenty," Zooky answered.
"Boy, I'll say; they don't have pepperoni," Michelangelo replied.
But it's not that, Zooky mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes.
"No, I mean those ninjas," April said, looking back at the men behind the counter.
"It's just a gag," Raphael said. "Come on, whoever heard of a bunch of ninjas hangin' out in a pizzeria?" he asked.
Oh, this is too easy, Zooky smirked. "You're a bunch of ninjas and you're in a pizzeria," he pointed out.
Donatello and Michelangelo quickly covered up a double case of the snickers as the latter said, "Like, he's got us there, Raph."
Raphael sighed heavily, rolling his eyes in a "Why me?" manner and said to Godzooky, "Kid, one these days, I'm gonna outdo you in a battle of wits."
Good luck, Zooky giggled. I've got a few decades worth of experience, plus training from the best in Hollywood.
"Sorry, ya kind of teed it up for me there," Zooky shrugged, smiling apologetically.
"And for that matter, whoever heard of four talking turtles and one talking kaiju?" April added.
"Not many, I'm sure," Zooky admitted.
In fact, the only reason he was able to talk in English was because of learning from his uncle who learned from Vicky and Mothra, as well as listening to Vicky, Pete, and the crew of the Calico talk, and only Vicky knew about it until his uncle Godzilla accidentally spoke in plain English right in front of the crew. Godzooky giggled at the memory; that had been a pretty funny moment.
"Well, if you guys are just gonna stay here and stuff yourselves, I'm going to do my own investigating," April said, starting to leave.
Zooky felt bad; he didn't want to leave her high and dry. After all, they did promise they would help her find the ninja thieves responsible for the robberies. Excusing himself, and after checking the booth behind him, Zooky went over the back of the seat into the next booth, then rushed over to April.
"Hey, I'm sorry about this, really," Zooky said, not wanting her to leave being upset with him and the Turtles. "If you want, we can actually make this an undercover stakeout; keep an eye out for anything suspicious."
"That's nice of you, Zooky, but do you really have to cover for them?" April asked, referring to the turtles.
"Hey, we made a promise. And in my personal code, a promise is a promise," Zooky said. "Besides, I was actually a bit low on energy; going through what I was going through…kinda drains you," he added hesitantly.
April put a supporting hand on his shoulder, which the juvenile kaiju appreciated.
"Well, as long as you guys are gonna stake out this place, I might as well look around," April said. "Don't worry, I'll be fine; you just stay with your friends," she assured him before the winged saurian could object.
Again, Zooky was certain that April could take care of herself, but he had a sense of chivalry that told him it wasn't a good idea to let her go into a potentially dangerous situation alone.
"I'll be fine, don't worry," she assured him once more before going past him and out the door.
Zooky stood there for a minute or two, debating whether he should stay or follow her. He had a feeling that wherever she was going, she was going to need backup, but he didn't want her thinking he thought she was helpless. Besides, he still needed to regain some of that energy he lost; he was going to be of no use to anyone if his gas tank was half-full. With that in mind, he slid back into the booth the Turtles occupied the same way he got out just as one of the "ninjas" arrived with an order of…five pizzas?
"Two sashimi pizzas and three whipped-cream pizzas," the man said. "Eat in good health," he added, tossing the pizzas to the four turtles and Godzooky.
Imagine Zooky's surprise when Raphael caught the two sashimi pizzas and put one of them down in front of him while Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello caught the whipped-cream pizzas.
"They didn't have sushi, so I got ya what I thought was the next best thing," Raphael explained.
Zooky was a bit stunned in a good way by Raphael including a pizza for him, not to mention slightly surprised by the fact that sashimi was essentially thinly-sliced raw fish, which he thought the Turtles weren't fond of, but he accepted it with a "thank-you". Just then, his sixth sense went off and glanced over at their waiter to see him looking at them with a rather malicious stare as he walked away.
Maybe it's a good thing I stayed with the guys after all, Zooky thought as he took a bite of his pizza. With their minds on their stomachs, they're completely oblivious to their surroundings.
"Listen, uh, what happened to April?" Donatello queried.
Well, almost.
"Well, I guess she wasn't hungry," Michelangelo guessed as he bit into his pizza, getting whipped cream on his face.
Zooky held back a snicker as the surfer-dude turtle looked like Santa Claus with that whipped-cream beard and said, "She went outside to do some of her own investigating. I told her we'd stake out the place."
"You don't really think we're gonna run into trouble here, are you?" Donatello asked.
Zooky had just bit down into his sashimi pizza again and was just formulating an answer when he turned his eyes toward a corner on the ceiling across from the booth and saw something that nearly made him choke: A security camera. Normally, he wouldn't think that was suspicious, but that object was sending out bad vibes to the max.
Great Gojira's Ghost! The whole place must be wired! Zooky yelped in thought.
"Uh, you OK there?" Raphael asked.
"Hey, don't choke on us," Leonardo said.
"Guys, whatever you do, don't look in that corner," Zooky instructed, his tone low and firm. "Don't!" he then said, raising his voice a little to Donatello and Leonardo, who were about to turn around. "We're being monitored," he said, bringing his voice back down.
"Don't you think you might be overreacting a little?" Raphael asked.
"One thing you guys have to learn about kaiju, especially those of us close to or part of the Gojira line, is that we've got a sixth sense for trouble, and right now mine's going off like we're in the middle of a four-alarm fire," Zooky said, casting a suspicious glance at the "ninjas" that were running the place. "Right now, let's just act natural, and that means finishing our pizzas."
The sooner we get outta here, the sooner we can get to April, Zooky thought, slightly picking up the pace on his eating, but not so much as to make himself sick or raise suspicion.
Unless he missed his guess, April, not to mention the Turtles and himself, were now in great danger.
And I'm afraid he's not wrong; for while the guys are chowing down, April finds a place called "Manhattan Security Services," discovers that they're behind the thefts at the three scientific equipment companies, and ends up getting captured by Foot Soldiers! Not to mention Shredder is the one watching them from behind the camera in the pizzeria!
For those of you who are familiar with one of my stories, more specifically the one based on the second episode of the 1978-79 Hanna-Barbera series "Godzilla: The Original Animated Series", then you know what's going on with Godzooky. And as I've said before in the stories after that one, that sort of memory doesn't go away, even though a lot of time has passed, and I think that's particularly evident here; and I'm sure there's many folks IRL who have been around people who have gone through such horrible things who can see where I'm coming from here. Thankfully, I've never been exposed to any horrors that incur post-traumatic stress, but if I've gotten anything wrong, I sincerely apologize and I will make every effort to correct it.
Godzooky's been trying to keep it hidden, first with April, now with the Turtles, but all the while, it's getting harder and harder for the Fab Four of '87 animation (come on, you can't tell me you weren't expecting a Beatles reference to pop up somewhere) to ignore, especially in the cases of both Michelangelo and, primarily, Raphael. At this point, Zooky is faced with the hard choice of telling them about San Francisco and why being underground scares him, or not telling them and letting them worry anyway, or telling them in such a way that will break the bond of friendship between him and the TMNT. What to do?
Now, the fun stuff: I've only seen "Casablanca" once, but I have enough memory of Humphrey Bogart's voice to know that Rob Paulsen as Raphael doing an impression of Bogart is enough to make me giggle, so Zooky's reaction to the impression is pretty much my own. I also based Zooky and Raphael's conversation on comedy and voice-acting on stuff I heard from the podcast "Talkin' Toons with Rob Paulsen"; I kid you not, the part about voice-acting being a mutual admiration society and that many times actors will refer other actors for a particular role if they feel that they are not right for it, those are things that were actually said about it. On that note, I urge you guys to go to Spotify and give a listen to "Talkin' Toons", I think you'll really enjoy it. Oh, and when Zooky says that you can have a lot of fun in voice-acting…ooh boy; that pretty much came out of hearing about what often went on in the recording booth for cartoons Mr. Paulsen worked on: When not doing a take, or even when doing one, the actors would often go off and improvise, or pretty much try to make each other laugh, and, according to Paulsen, those moments would get a little…blue. I kid you not; that's the very word he used, and in that context, that means a lot of dirty language was being thrown around. Not what you'd expect behind the scenes of making a cartoon, huh?
Oh, and that "I know that voice" moment Godzooky had in the ninja pizzeria? I kind of had that myself when I listened really closely. For those of you who've seen the episode, I think you'll know what I'm talking about. Remember, Godzooky arrived here from 1987 Hollywood, California, which means Transformers was pretty much part of the mainstream by then. Which also means they had some pretty big competition when the Fab Four of '87 came around and really started getting popular. Which reminds me, I did not know this until I heard it on "Talkin' Toons", but one of Rob Paulsen's earliest voice-acting jobs was on the Gen-1 Transformers series as two Aerialbots named Air Raid and Slingshot (watch the second part of the episode "The Key to Vector Sigma" and keep your ears peeled). Also, just threw in a reference from "Animaniacs" because...well, Rob Paulsen...I think you get the picture. For those of you who know the original "Animaniacs" show, you'll know what I'm referencing.
All right, enough rambling. Coming up, a battle scene, the gang investigate Manhattan Security Services, and find out a bit more than what they were bargaining for, about the ninja robbers…and about Godzooky. You'll see what I mean in the next chapter.
For now, please read and review. Thank you.